wharton undergraduate essays

The Penn application process includes a personal essay as well as supplemental short answer prompts. We read your words carefully, as they are yet another window into how you think, what you value, and how you see the world. Through your writing, we get a glimpse of what you might bring to our community, including  your voice and creativity.

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Before you begin writing:

• Review the prompt thoroughly. Be sure you’re answering the question or prompt being asked. T opics are chosen because the Admissions Committee wants to know specific things about you. If you don’t address the them directly, we are left to make decisions regarding your application with incomplete information.
• Consider your response carefully. We understand that you may be writing responses for different schools and you may want to reuse material, but read through your response to make sure the content is relevant to the prompt.
• Double check your writing. Give yourself time to revisit your response. Do not rush your writing process; create space in your schedule to revise your work. Ultimately, it is up to you to polish your response before you submit.

In your Penn supplemental short answers, be precise when explaining both why you are applying to Penn and why you have chosen to apply to that specific undergraduate school. Some of our specialized programs will have additional essays to complete, but the Penn supplemental prompts should address the single-degree or single-school choice.

2023-24 Short Answer & Essay Prompts

Penn Supplemental Short Answer Prompts (Required)

• Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words, only required for first year applicants)
• How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective, and how your experiences and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)
• The school-specific prompt will now be unique to the school to which a student is applying. Considering the undergraduate school you have selected, please respond to your school-specific prompt below. (For example, all applicants applying to the College of Arts and Sciences will respond to the prompt under the “College of Arts and Sciences” section).

For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer this question in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.

Transfer Essay  (required for all transfer applicants): Please explain your reasons for transferring from your current institution and what you hope to gain by transferring to another institution. (4150 characters)

Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare? (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Nursing’s mission and how we promote equity in healthcare . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of our values and how they align with your own goals and aspirations.

The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences? (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the academic offerings within the College of Arts and Sciences .  This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of how the study of the liberal arts aligns with your own goals and aspirations.

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues.  Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it.  (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the foundations of a Wharton education . This information will help you better understand what you could learn by studying at Wharton and what you could do afterward.

Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn. (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Engineering and its mission to prepare students for global leadership in technology . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of academic pathways within Penn Engineering and how they align with your goals and interests.

Coordinated Dual Degree and Specialized Programs Short Answer Prompts

For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer the program-specific essay below.

** Character count that only applies to transfer students applying through Common App.

Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to contribute to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing, and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

• Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)
• Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

• Please list any predental or premedical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research; etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and a description of your experience. If you do not have any predental or premedical experience, please indicate what you have done or plan to do in order to explore dentistry as a career.
• Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended.
• Describe any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands.
• What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work effectively with people?
• Please explain your reasons for selecting dentistry. Please include what interests you the most about dentistry as well as what interests you least.

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

2023-2024 Wharton MBA Essay Tips and Example Essays

Jun 13, 2023

• Who is Wharton looking for?
• How should I answer Wharton essay questions?
• Get into the Wharton MBA
• Wharton Deadlines

UPDATE : This article was originally posted on July 10, 2018. It has been updated with new information and tips below.

In 1881, Joseph Wharton started the world’s first collegiate business school. In the more than 100 years since, Wharton has maintained its position as one of the world’s top destinations for talented business professionals. 

With numerous opportunities (many of them overseas) to develop your leadership skills and build relationships with fellow students, Wharton offers a highly challenging yet highly collaborative approach to business education. 

However, with increasing competition to join this innovative, collaboratively-minded university, it’s more difficult than ever to successfully apply to Wharton. 

That’s why we’ve prepared this guide to help you use your Wharton admissions essays to stand out . We’ve rounded up our best tips and links to Wharton MBA sample essays to ensure you give your Haas application your best shot. 

1. Who is Wharton looking for?

“Our mission is to develop leaders who act with a deeper understanding of themselves, their organizations, and their communities, and contribute positively to the growth of each.” Wharton Admissions

As one of the most consistently top-ranked business schools, Wharton has become almost synonymous with elite business education. With a strong focus on innovation and their unique Lauder dual-degree program in international studies and Health Care Major , it’s no surprise that Wharton is at the top of many applicants’ lists of dream schools. 

Each year, Wharton selects just under 900 students from 77 countries to take part in its two-year program. Though there is no one “perfect” type of Wharton student, the university does favor high test scores. The median GMAT for the Class of 2024 was 733 (slightly down from 740 for last year’s class) and the average GRE score was 162 Quant, 162 Verbal.  

Though often called a “finance factory,” Wharton builds a diverse class each year by looking beyond traditional investment banking professionals to fill its class. In fact, the number of Wharton post-MBA graduates breaking into industries like tech has only increased over the past few years. With the launch of Tangen Hall last year, that number is only likely to continue growing. 

Beyond the numbers, Wharton tends to value students who demonstrate a collaborative personality, leadership potential, global mindset, and an ability to think outside the box and innovate. 

If this sounds like a community in which you’d be right at home, you’ll first have to prove you’ve got what it takes by successfully answering Wharton’s admissions essay questions. 

2. How should I answer Wharton essay questions?

Writing any admission essay is a tough task, especially when trying to convey you have the right mix of characteristics Wharton is looking for. 

According to Wharton, here is what they want to see in your admissions essays : 

“The Admissions Committee wants to get to know you on both a professional and personal level. We encourage you to be introspective, candid and succinct. Most importantly, we suggest you be yourself.”

More specifically, if applying to Wharton, you’ll need to answer the following questions.

Keep reading for a more in-depth look at how to turn this task into a standout essay! 

2.1. Essay 1

Essay 1: How do you plan to use the Wharton MBA program to help you achieve your future professional goals? You might consider your past experience, short and long-term goals, and resources available at Wharton. (500 words)

For many years, Wharton has maintained this rather traditional goals essay. This year is no different, though there have been very slight changes to the question’s wording. Rather than a more open-ended question, this year, you’re asked to specifically consider your past experience, short- and long-term goals, and how Wharton can help you achieve those goals. In short, everything we believe makes an outstanding goals essay! 

First, you might want to review the tips the Wharton admissions committee gives on how to approach the essays. 

Then, we suggest diving to your planning for Essay 1. Like most goals essays , we suggest you start your essay with a bit of context before revealing what you intend to do in your future career and how Wharton’s MBA can help you reach your professional goals. 

This essay tends to work best when you focus on one or several stories that demonstrate your professional excellence, collaborative mindset, and commitment to your own leadership development. 

In the Why Wharton section of your essay, identify two or three pillars you intend to work on during your MBA. Connect these in a meaningful way to Wharton, showing how this offering will bring you closer to your goals. This will require reflection and research into how the Wharton curriculum and program functions. You may want to use this type of structure:

PILLAR/Area for Improvement 1: 

Wharton Offering: 

How this impacts my goals: 

PILLAR/Area for Improvement 2:  

PILLAR/Area for Improvement 3:  

COMMUNITY/PERSONAL REASONS (list any relevant points here): 

*If you have also spoken with alumni or have visited the school and learned information about the program that is relevant to your growth targets , you should also add this as well. 

However, try to avoid general statements about people you know who attended Wharton or about a campus visit. Only add this information plus your analysis of why what you learned is relevant to your goals if it enhances your argument. 

We then suggest ending with a stellar conclusion sentence that ties your essay together and reinforces your thesis. 

Need more guidance? 

Our MBA Resource Center has dozens of Wharton MBA essays that worked to get our clients admitted to help you plan out a winning Wharton essay. Our library also includes guides for all top global MBA programs, detailed essay brainstorms, interview tips and mocks, CV templates, and recommendation letter guides. Click to join !

2.2. Essay 2

Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

For this essay, we highly suggest that you focus on multiple examples. In our experience over the years, 3 ways you plan to contribute tends to work best, though we have seen essays with 2 examples and 4 examples work in very special circumstances. 

There are many different ways you can contribute to the Wharton community, so many different stories and “lessons” you can apply at Wharton are valid here.  

For example, if you have worked extensively as part of an international team, highlighting a specific experience where diversity was the key to “winning the day” and showing how you would promote diversity while at Wharton could work very well. 

Or, you might have a specific ability that has proven valuable in analyzing business challenges, might be an outstanding communicator, etc. There really are endless opportunities for this essay. 

When telling your stories, make sure to use the STAR method to ensure you clearly demonstrate what happened, your role in the events, and what you learned. Then, link this lesson to specific resources and opportunities at Wharton, showing how you will improve the overall community. 

To create an amazing essay, stay focused, do your research on Wharton, and choose your examples wisely. Showing you’re a leader and team player who fully understands the Wharton experience and who is prepared to contribute to the Wharton community is the key to success. 

2.3. Reapplicant Essay

Required Essay for All Reapplicants: Please use this space to share with the Admissions Committee how you have reflected [on] and grown since your previous application and discuss any relevant updates to your candidacy (e.g., changes in your professional life, additional coursework, and extracurricular/volunteer engagements). (250 words)

We have written two extensive posts on how to approach reapplying to business school and on how to handle the reapplicant essay . Make sure to check them out!

2.4. Optional Essay

Optional Essay: Please use this space to share any additional information about yourself that cannot be found elsewhere in your application and that you would like to share with the Admissions Committee. This space can also be used to address any extenuating circumstances (e.g., unexplained gaps in work experience, choice of recommenders, inconsistent or questionable academic performance, areas of weakness, etc.) that you would like the Admissions Committee to consider.

As with nearly all elite business schools, Wharton does not want to see a summary of your profile or a restatement of why you want to attend Wharton. 

However, if you have extenuating circumstances that merit additional explanation (a good overview of what kind of circumstances quality can be found here ), make sure to explain them clearly and directly. 

Looking for Wharton MBA essay examples? Check out our real sample essays that got our clients admitted here .

3. Get into the Wharton MBA

One of the most common mistakes we see in MBA essays is that candidates fail to tell compelling stories . This is important because if your stories are not compelling, they will not be persuasive. At the same time, they must be backed by strong examples that establish a track record of success and prove to the admissions committees why you belong at their school. 

Striking this balance between content and creativity can be tough, however, as succeeding means not only choosing the right stories but ensuring they are told in an optimal manner. 

This is why our iterative developmental feedback process here at Ellin Lolis Consulting helps you mold your message through the application of our storytelling expertise until it reflects exactly what makes your profile stand out and show fit with your target program. 

Not only can you take advantage of our iterative feedback process through multiple edits – you can also benefit from it after a single review! If your budget is tight, our editors will be happy to help polish your text as much as possible and leave “bonus comments” so you can keep working on it on your own!

No matter how long we work with you, we will always ensure your essays shine . Sign up to work with our team of storytelling experts and get accepted.

4. Wharton Deadlines

The deadlines below apply to the 2023-2024 application cycle. You can start your online application here . 

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• The Wharton School Essay Tips and Examples

June 13, 2023

Jeremy Shinewald

Wharton 2023–2024 Essay Tips

Essay 1: How do you plan to use the Wharton MBA program to help you achieve your future professional goals? You might consider your past experience, short and long-term goals, and resources available at Wharton. (500 words)

In just 500 words, you must discuss your career aspirations—giving sufficient context for why they are realistic for you—and illustrate how Wharton will help you pursue these goals by demonstrating a thorough understanding of what the school offers and a well-thought-out game plan for availing yourself of particular resources. To effectively do this and write a reasoned, nuanced essay, you must first familiarize yourself with Wharton’s various offerings, events, and extracurriculars and pinpoint those that truly pertain to you and the direction in which you hope to move. Go the extra mile in learning about the school—connect with multiple students and alumni, attend admissions events in your area, participate in the school’s webinars and other online/virtual offerings, read recent press releases from the program and any news stories about it published elsewhere, check out the Wharton School YouTube channel, and especially, visit the campus if at all possible. This will provide the kind of in-depth insight that you can use to show the admissions committee you are really serious about Wharton and are confident you belong there. Simply presenting a list of classes and clubs you think sound interesting will  not  suffice, and you must absolutely avoid vague, pandering statements about how great the school is. Your goal is to reveal clear connections between your aspirations, what you need to achieve them (e.g., skills, experience[s], connections, exposure), and what Wharton in particular can provide that will enable you to fill those gaps.

That said, take care to not talk exclusively about the Wharton side of this equation. The admissions committee wants to more fully understand the vision you have for your future career, how you have developed this vision, and why you believe it is feasible and fitting for you (with respect to your interests, work style, strengths, values, and/or other such factors). In a post from 2021 about the essay prompts (the same ones the program is using this season), Blair Mannix, Wharton’s director of admissions, noted, “We made slight revisions to Essay 1 to ensure that the question remained applicant-centered while still requiring applicants to think carefully and specifically about how they can maximize two years at Wharton to prepare for their future career goals” (emphasis ours). Connect the dots, so to speak, between what you are bringing to Wharton yourself as a student and what you feel Wharton will provide to complement and strengthen that to set you on the path to success.

Note that Wharton asks you to address only the professional aspect—not the professional  and personal  aspect—of your business school goals. This means you should focus solely on sharing your career-related stories and ambitions here and then use the other essay(s) to discuss non-work aspects of your life, thereby providing a more complete and well-rounded picture of yourself for the admissions committee.

In many ways, this prompt is asking for a traditional MBA personal statement. We therefore encourage you to download a free copy of the  mbaMission Personal Statement Guide , in which we offer detailed advice on approaching and framing these kinds of topics, along with multiple illustrative examples. 

Essay 2: Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

In a blog post posted when this prompt took on its current wording, Mannix explained, “Our main goal is to get to know you the best that we can, and the change to our second prompt was largely motivated by that desire.” The breadth of this essay question allows you to provide a well-rounded impression of yourself for the admissions committee because you can discuss multiple aspects of or stories from your life and draw from any area (personal, professional, community related, and/or academic), thereby allowing you to highlight your strongest and most relevant options. However, the word count is fairly restrictive, so you need to be concise in doing so, without sacrificing effectiveness or thoroughness. 

We recommend using approximately one-half of your allowed word count to describe your chosen experience(s) or quality(-ties), so that you have sufficient space in which to then explain how it (they) will enable you to contribute to the Wharton community in a meaningful way. Do your best to “show,” or really spell out, your story—rather than just flatly presenting or stating it—to give the admissions reader some perspective and context. You then need to demonstrate both self-awareness and, again, a thorough understanding of the Wharton MBA experience by drawing connections between this aspect of your background and what you can subsequently bring the school as a member of its community. For example, a past project might have given you some critical insights and skills you could now pass on to your classmates in a related class or club. Or maybe a personal challenge gave you an interesting new perspective on commitment, determination, or another valuable quality. What is most important in this essay is conveying how you envision applying the knowledge or attribute as a student in the Wharton program. 

In addition to the suggestions we offered earlier for ways of better familiarizing yourself with Wharton, be sure to download a free copy of the mbaMission Insider’s Guide to the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania , which provides an in-depth look at the school’s academic program, unique offerings, social life, and other key characteristics.

Required Essay for All Reapplicants: Please use this space to share with the Admissions Committee how you have reflected [on] and grown since your previous application and discuss any relevant updates to your candidacy (e.g., changes in your professional life, additional coursework, and extracurricular/volunteer engagements). (250 words)

Thankfully, this essay is pretty straightforward. Whether you have improved your academic record, received a promotion, begun a new and exciting project, increased your community involvement, or taken on some sort of personal challenge, the key to success with this essay is conveying a very deliberate path of achievement. Wharton wants to know that you have been actively striving to improve yourself and your profile, and that you have seized opportunities during the time since you last applied to do so, because a Wharton MBA is vital to you. The responses to this essay question will vary greatly from one candidate to the next, because each person’s needs and experiences differ. We are more than happy to provide one-on-one assistance with this highly personal essay to ensure that your efforts are presented in the best light possible.

Optional Essay: Please use this space to share any additional information about yourself that cannot be found elsewhere in your application and that you would like to share with the Admissions Committee. This space can also be used to address any extenuating circumstances (e.g., unexplained gaps in work experience, choice of recommenders, inconsistent or questionable academic performance, areas of weakness, etc.) that you would like the Admissions Committee to consider. (500 words)

With this prompt, Wharton is acknowledging that some candidates have aspects of their profiles that might need a little clarification. This essay is therefore your opportunity—if needed—to address any lingering questions that an admissions officer might have about your candidacy, such as a low GRE or GMAT score, a legal or disciplinary incident, or, of course, one of the extenuating circumstances the school suggests. However, keep in mind that by submitting an optional essay, you are requiring the already overtaxed admissions readers to do additional work on your application, so do not rush to fill this space just because you fear that not doing so will somehow count against you (it will not), and also avoid being overly verbose or sharing more information than is truly necessary just because you technically can. You must ensure that the admissions committee’s extra time and effort are truly warranted. If you feel you might have a valid reason for submitting this additional essay or are not sure if the issue you are considering would warrant doing so, we encourage you to download a free copy of our  mbaMission Optional Essays Guid e , in which we offer detailed advice on when and how to take advantage of the optional essay, along with multiple sample essays.

Wharton MBA Essay Examples

How do you plan to use the wharton mba program to help you achieve your future professional goals you might consider your past experience, short and long-term goals, and resources available at wharton. (500 words).

After transitioning from banking to private equity, I first found the faster pace and expanded scope startling, but ultimately invigorating. Shifting from agent to principal, I leapt into formulating a go-forward strategy for rewardify.com’s rapidly growing consumer data analytics business and explored a complex carveout for the payments division of a Dutch online bank. I had absolutely no experience with either industry, but all that really mattered was that I could quickly learn, adapt and contribute. Over the past two years, I have learned to appreciate the “messiness” of investing and the vast opportunities it offers to create value via ingenuity, collaboration and old-fashioned elbow grease. I plan to return to technology investing after I graduate, focusing on later-stage venture or growth equity in Seoul or Shanghai, where wired populaces are driving innovations in consumer tech. Meantime, I aspire to use my Wharton experience to “accelerate my acceleration” both personally and professionally, refining the hard and soft skills I need to thrive in my chosen industry. 

As I assess my long-term needs, I recognize that to be a “full stack” partner to management teams, I must grow beyond the financial plain and develop my operations and marketing tool kit. Wharton’s Marketing and Operations Management Major is therefore ideal for me. Having an undergraduate degree in mathematics, I find myself guided largely by intuition in these areas and would take foundational classes like “Operations Strategy” and “Dynamic Marketing Strategy” to then extract the most from uniquely applicable advanced courses like “Contagious: How Products, Ideas, and Behaviors Catch On” and “Online Business Models and the Information-Based Firm.” Beyond Wharton’s vast course options, I find the opportunities to unify theory and practice to be incredibly compelling. The Startup Challenge would allow me to partner with an entrepreneur and engage in the entrepreneurial process, thereby making me a more operationally oriented and thoughtful investor. And a Global Modular Course, like “Global Supply Chain in China,” will provide invaluable insight into the world’s most vexing business issues, while enabling me to expand my industry-related network and form closer bonds with classmates.  

I feel fortunate to have already witnessed firsthand the role my diverse and dynamic classmates will play in my education; I visited my cousin Tarek Masoud (W ’19) on campus just before the pandemic, and while there, I observed his “Managerial Decision Making” class and attended that week’s Pub. Both revealed a community that truly comes together to share ideas—and even laugh sometimes at the intensity of the past week. Being a part of this warm yet fervent community greatly appeals to me. An intensive Leadership Venture will allow me to work with peers to actively reflect on and hone my leadership style, and I look forward to the awesome commitment and teamwork that characterize the Learning Team experience. I will enter Wharton with an open mind, ready to listen, absorb, and share, knowing that by bringing the entirety of my energy to the experience, I can confidently embark on the next phase of my career.

The Next Step: Mastering Your Wharton Interview

Many MBA candidates find admissions interviews stressful and intimidating, but mastering this important element of the application process is definitely possible—the key is informed preparation. To help you attain this high level of preparedness, we offer our free   Interview Guides . Download a complimentary copy of  The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania Interview Guide   today.

To learn more about the essays for other top business schools, visit our  MBA Essay Tips and Examples Resources Page .

2023-2024 Business School Essays MBA Essay Tips University of Pennsylvania (Wharton)

Tags: business school essay free guides MBA application essays optional essay reapplicants Wharton

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2023–2024 MBA Essay Tips

• Berkeley Haas School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• BU Questrom School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Cambridge Judge Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• Carnegie Mellon Tepper School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Chicago Booth School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Columbia Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• Cornell Johnson Graduate School of Management Essay and Examples
• Dartmouth Tuck School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Duke Fuqua School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Emory Goizueta Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• Esade Essay Tips and Examples
• Georgetown McDonough School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Harvard Business School 2+2 Deferred MBA Program Essay Analysis 2024
• Harvard Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• HEC Paris Essay Tips and Examples
• HKUST Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• IE Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• IESE Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• INSEAD Essay Tips and Examples
• International Institute for Management Development (IMD) Essay Tips and Examples
• Ivey Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• London Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• Michigan Ross School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• MIT Sloan School of Management Essay Tips and Examples
• Northwestern Kellogg School of Management Essay Tips and Examples
• Notre Dame Mendoza College of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• NYU Stern School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Ohio Fisher College of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Oxford Saïd Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• SMU Cox School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Stanford Graduate School of Business Application Essay Tips and Examples
• Texas McCombs School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• The Consortium for Graduate Study in Management Essay Tips and Examples
• Toronto Rotman School of Management Essay Tips and Examples
• UCLA Anderson School of Management Essay Tips and Examples
• UNC Kenan-Flagler Business School Essay Tips and Examples
• USC Marshall School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• UVA Darden School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• UW Foster School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Vanderbilt University Owen Graduate School of Management Essay Analysis, 2023–2024
• Villanova School of Business Essay Tips and Examples
• Yale School of Management Essay Tips and Examples

Click here for the 2022–2023 MBA Essay Tips

MBA Program Updates

• Berkeley-Haas
• Boston University (Questrom)
• Cambridge Judge Business School
• Carnegie Mellon University (Tepper)
• Columbia University (Columbia Business School)
• Consortium for Graduate Study in Management
• Cornell University (Johnson)
• Dartmouth College (Tuck)
• Duke University (Fuqua)
• Emory University (Goizueta)
• George Washington University (GWSB)
• Georgetown University (McDonough)
• Harvard University (Harvard Business School)
• IE Business School
• IESE Business School
• Indian School of Business
• Indiana University (Kelley)
• Ivey Business School
• London Business School
• Massachusetts Institute of Technology (Sloan)
• New York University (Stern)
• Northwestern University (Kellogg)
• Notre Dame (Mendoza)
• Ohio State University (Fisher College)
• Oxford University (Saïd Business School)
• Penn State Smeal College of Business
• Rotman School of Management
• Saïd Business School
• Southern Methodist University (Cox School of Business)
• Stanford University (Stanford Graduate School of Business)
• University of California Los Angeles (Anderson)
• University of Cambridge (Judge)
• University of Chicago (Booth)
• University of London (London Business School)
• University of Michigan (Ross)
• University of North Carolina (Kenan-Flagler)
• University of Pennsylvania (Wharton)
• University of Southern California (Marshall)
• University of Texas at Austin (McCombs)
• University of Virginia (Darden)
• Vanderbilt University (Owen)
• Villanova School of Business
• Yale University (School of Management)

A Guide to the Wharton MBA Essays

Tips and tricks to writing a stand-out essay for your Wharton MBA application, including an overview of the questions, expert advice, and how to get started.

Posted January 9, 2024

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The essay portion of your business school application is arguably the most important part. It gives the admissions committee a personal look at the candidate and allows the candidate to present themself as an individual, rather than a set of numbers. The essays for the Wharton school emphasize one of its goals: to foster a symbiotic relationship between the students and the school. The essay questions are as follows:

1. How do you plan to use the Wharton MBA program to help you achieve your future professional goals? You might consider your past experience, short and long-term goals, and resources available at Wharton. (500 words max.) 2. Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words max.)

You can also find them on the University of Pennsylvania’s website here . With these prompts, Wharton is asking how it will help you and how you will be able to help it. It recommends its applicants try and be succinct, honest, and self-reflective. It’s important to fully be yourself–your essays should not be applicable to anyone else.

Before you begin the writing process, start by structuring your essay. You don’t necessarily need all the parts of a formal piece of writing, such as a thesis statement or topic sentence, but you should make sure that your point is clear, everything is tied together and relevant, and the writing flows smoothly between body paragraphs.

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The nature of the first essay requires applicants to have a very clear understanding of their goals, both personal and professional. In responding to this, Wharton wants to see that the applicants can clearly articulate the specific ways that the school will benefit them. This is not the place to list out the many classes you want to take; dig deeper and talk about the characteristics that are unique to Wharton. Options include professors that teach there, clubs and activities, or any unique development opportunities, among others.

On the flip side, the second essay is about explaining to Wharton how you will benefit them. The school emphasizes that the class size is small, so they want every MBA candidate to bring something to the table. The Wharton essays are often referred to as the “give and take” because you are trying to show what you will give to Wharton and what you will take.

With this essay, prove to Wharton that you will be an asset to the program. What do you bring that’s different than everyone else applying? This answer should be completely unique to you. Before you begin to write, research the program so that you have an idea of what the school wants. It will be difficult to argue that you’ll become an ROI for them if you don’t know what they’re looking for. Ideas may involve starting a new club or conference, or what you can bring to your cohorts.

Wharton Essay Tips

1. answer the question.

When the topic is so broad and the word limit so low, it can be difficult to remain on-task. When you’re writing the essay, remember to step back and ask yourself whether you are actually answering the question. Are you explaining how you will benefit from Wharton or are you on a rant about everything you want to do with your life? This is why it’s important to start writing early. That way, you’ll have time to revise, get feedback, and read it from a fresh perspective multiple times before submission.

2. Do Research

The admissions committee will be able to tell if the applicant has spent time researching the school and the program. They want to know that you care about getting into Wharton specifically, and not just any MBA program. By supporting your thesis with well-researched facts, you’ll demonstrate an understanding of the program and present a more convincing argument to the AdCom. A full-time MBA is a commitment–show that you are ready for it by acknowledging what you’re getting into.

3. Be Yourself

As we’ve stated above, your essay should not be something that anyone else could have written. For the class of 2023, there were 7,338 applications. You need to show that you are different from the 7,337 other individuals vying for one of the coveted acceptances. Now, this also does not mean that you should grossly exaggerate any achievements or hobbies. Simply remain true to yourself as your write your application. Maybe you are an amateur beekeeper and this has helped you understand the power of working in a team, or you were scuba certified in Indonesia and want to make more affordable equipment. Whatever the case, be unique and be yourself.

4. Be Concise

You only have a combined 900 words to answer both essays, meaning your essay will likely need to go through several stages of edits. One alum on Wharton’s website recommends that you write out your essay, including everything that you’d like to say, without thinking about the word count. That way, you’ll be able to start to pare down the information to the highlights from the top-down. Every word in your essay should have a purpose–don’t go off on tangents or try and be verbose. Show off your writing skills by getting to the point and conveying the required information in a simple, understandable manner.

5. Don’t Restate Your Resume

Your essays should not be a rehashing of the information on your resume and the rest of your application. It’s commonly said that the essay portion should be where you “make visible the invisible.” This is your chance to write about something that can’t be found anywhere else in the application. The AdCom already has your resume, academic record, recommendations, and standardized test scores. What else is there to you beyond that? Whatever it is, write about that.

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Where Can I Start?

Applying to Wharton? Get started today with these articles:

• How to Write a Powerful MBA Essay
• Wharton Interview Guide: The Team-Based Discussion
• The Wharton School--MBA Program and Application Overview
• Wharton Moelis Advance Access
• Wharton MBA Application Deadlines (2023-2024)

If you prefer to get advice and help in a one-on-one setting, we’ve got some excellent Wharton coaches on Leland. Here are three of our highest-rated MBA admissions coaches and you can browse more here .

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Wharton Essay Questions and Strategic Guidance, 2023-2024

When you hear “Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania,” the first thought that pops into your head might be “Finance!”—and understandably so, given the Wharton MBA program has been a leading institution in the subject of finance since the school was founded in 1881. But what you may not realize is how much of a powerhouse UPenn Wharton is in other business domains. Its marketing and customer analytics courses are cutting edge, while aspiring entrepreneurs will find loads of resources in Wharton’s new Tangen Hall, the largest student entrepreneurship hub in the world.

UPenn Wharton asks candidates to submit two essays as part of its application. As you will see once you examine the essay prompts (as we do in detail below), Wharton really wants to know two things: What can Wharton do for you, and what can you do for Wharton? To compose an effective response, you will need a strong grasp of Wharton’s offerings as well as which of those offerings will be most valuable for you. Though you should demonstrate in these essays that you have done your homework on the program, remember that the admissions committee ultimately uses the essays to learn more about you.

Essay 1: How do you plan to use the Wharton MBA program to help you achieve your future professional goals? You might consider your past experience, short and long-term goals, and resources available at Wharton. (500 words)

Wharton does us by favor sharing exactly what we would recommend for a career-oriented essay. In short, one of the easiest ways to approach this question is to present a brief overview of your relevant past experiences, share what you hope to do after business school, and then explain how Wharton will help get you from where you are now to where you want to go.

• Your past: Do you have a defining professional experience from your past that you can share, perhaps something that clarifies how you became interested in your target career or reveals what motivated you to apply to business school? You might even highlight a story or vignette that relates to one or more of Wharton’s key values.
• Your goals: Give the schools a sense of where hope to head after graduating from Wharton. Contrary to what you might hear from others, you do not need to be overly specific (though if you have clearly defined goals in mind, by all means, communicate them!). What is more important is that you have at least a general sense of where you are headed and that your plans make sense in the context of your past experiences.
• Why Wharton: You should dedicate approximately one-half of the allotted word count to the “Why Wharton?” element.  Before you begin working on your essays, do some in-depth research on the Wharton MBA experience and identify specific reasons the program appeals to you. For example, which classes are you excited to take? What will you major in? Which skills and experiences do you need to have to be able to achieve your career goals, and which offerings at Wharton will provide them? Which clubs will you join, and what role(s) will you play in them?  Remember, Wharton wants to know specifically what you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA (not just any MBA program in general). Give Wharton every confidence that you can clearly imagine yourself on campus and that you fully understand why it is the right MBA program to help you advance toward your professional goals.
• When researching Wharton, go beyond the school’s materials and website and also sign up for virtual classes and contact and speak with students and alumni. As you do your research, your goal is not to find the most unique or little-known classes or resources; instead, you want to identify several offerings that will enable you to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to go after business school.

Essay 2: Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

While the school’s first question is about how Wharton can help you, this second one is about how you can help Wharton.

• To start, let us share a potentially uncomfortable truth, but one you need to keep in mind with respect to this essay. All of the following contributions are incredibly valuable, but you should assume that many—even most—other Wharton applicants can offer them as well: analytical skills to help classmates who might struggle with some of the initial coursework (this scenario is actually extremely rare), a robust network, a willingness to help (other) international/LGBTQAI+/minority/etc. classmates get settled, and an interest in being an alumni mentor and/or interviewer. Does that mean that under no circumstances should you mention any of these? Of course not! But if you do, you absolutely must offer clear stories and reasons that substantiate why you are (or will be) especially adept at what you propose.
• Regardless of what you choose to highlight, your essay should not end up being just a laundry list, in part because you do not have enough space to enumerate a large number of ideas, but more importantly, because this is about quality , not quantity. In your mere 400 words, you want to highlight two or three examples (not referenced in Essay 1) of how you will participate in the community—the Wharton community, the Penn community, and/or the Philadelphia community more broadly. How can you make an impact? Have you identified a gap in the school’s offerings that you could help fill or a way of improving something that is already available (innovation!)? Can you offer something relatively unique based on your personal experiences and background? What would you do, and what role would you take?
• A key part of this essay question that applicants often overlook is the intro phrase: “Taking into consideration your background.” Wharton is asking not just about what you expect to do, but why . What is motivating you to participate in the activity you mention? How does it connect with your life experiences, good or bad? Of all the many things you could choose to be involved in at Wharton, what has prompted you to focus on this one?
• And to set the record straight, you do not have to avoid getting personal or worry about being “basic.” The main thing is to be authentic. For example, if you are an expert skier or a wine connoisseur, stating that you plan to join the ski club or wine club is perfectly acceptable, but you need to then go a step further and explain what you specifically can bring to the table.

To summarize, the key with this essay is not just telling the admissions committee how you anticipate being involved as a Wharton student but also why doing so is important to you and what impact you will have.

More about Wharton:

We have added this section because too often, we hear candidates dismiss Wharton because they assume Wharton is either too competitive or too focused on finance. While Wharton is full of driven, ambitious students, so is every top business school; collaboration on campus is still pervasive. Likewise, Wharton’s finance curriculum is top-notch, but so is its prowess in marketing, strategy, entrepreneurship and more. See below for more thoughts on what Wharton is really about and what it seeks in applicants. These notes can be helpful as you consider what to write about in your essays.

At Wharton, collaboration is crucial to success. From its team-based admissions interviews to the structure of its learning teams, Wharton demonstrates again and again that working with others to achieve a mutual goal is held in high regard. With respect to its essays, highlighting teamwork examples can therefore be useful, but note that a team involves people in many different roles, and various types of leadership are valued. Do not feel you must present an example of professional success or a team you “led” to be able to submit an effective essay; examples that demonstrate other types of leadership, or other roles on a team, can be equally or even more effective. (Note: If you are not familiar with the McNulty Leadership Program and what it offers, quickly reviewing it would be worth your time.)

Wharton has tried hard to break free of its former reputation as mostly a “finance school,” and one of the ways it has succeeded is by embracing innovation , through its courses, venture conferences and competitions, and student body. Demonstrating that you have an interest in being innovative, or in engineering change in any form, can help convince Wharton that you will be a good fit with its program.

Your analytical skills can be communicated through your GMAT/GRE scores and your undergrad coursework and GPA, but if your skills are lacking—and even if they are not—your essays (and/or your resume) can offer additional avenues through which to show the admissions committee your analytical prowess. Wharton wants to see quantitative proficiency, so make sure to show evidence of such. Note that we are using the word “show” here intentionally; you want to include examples that effectively “show” the admissions committee that you possess these skills, not just tell the schools that you have them.

In an effort to create future leaders with a global mindset , Wharton prides itself on the diverse makeup of its student body, with members hailing from around the globe. Describing the experiences you have had across different regions and cultures, and explaining what you learned/gained from those experiences, can reveal your ability strengthen the student body.

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Everything You Need To Know About The Wharton MBA Essays

The Wharton MBA essays are an essential aspect of your application. By allowing a deeper look into your values, experiences, and motivations, your essay submissions significantly affect the way Wharton’s admissions committee views your MBA candidacy. This information can cause the writing process to seem extremely intimidating, but you don’t need to fret. This article outlines everything you need to know about the Wharton MBA essays.

What Are the Wharton MBA Essays?

Typically, there are two essay prompts in the Wharton MBA application, along with one optional prompt. There are also essays specifically for those applying to joint-degree programs and an additional essay for reapplicants.

The Wharton MBA essay prompts can change from year to year. However, you can find many of the same themes and ideas in the various essay questions. Here are some examples of past Wharton MBA essay prompts: ‍

What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

This essay is pretty straightforward – How will Wharton benefit you?

How to Approach this Essay

Start by outlining specific short-term and long-term career goals, demonstrating a clear connection between these objectives and the Wharton MBA program. Highlight the program's unique features, emphasizing how these elements will contribute to your professional development. 

Showcase a keen understanding of the skills and knowledge gaps you aim to address through the Wharton MBA, stressing the program's experiential learning opportunities and collaborative community. Conclude by explaining the long-term impact you envision, both on your career trajectory and your ability to make meaningful contributions to your chosen industry. 

‍ Taking into consideration your background – personal, professional, and/or academic – how do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community? (400 words)

This prompt might take a bit more thought. What qualities, experiences, or skills can you use to contribute to the Wharton School?

This prompt might take a bit more thought. What qualities, experiences, or skills can you use to contribute to the Wharton School? ‍

Begin by reflecting on specific aspects of your background that have shaped your perspectives and values. Identify key themes or experiences that highlight your commitment to diversity, collaboration, and innovation. 

Be concrete in outlining your plans for active participation in cultural or affinity groups, as well as your contributions to student-led initiatives or clubs. Demonstrate an understanding of Wharton's community and how your skills and experiences will enhance it. 

Whether it's through leadership in projects, workshops, or events, emphasize the tangible and specific ways you plan to contribute to the dynamic and collaborative environment at Wharton. Conclude by expressing a genuine enthusiasm for being an integral part of the Wharton community and contributing to its continued success and growth.

Essay 3 - Required Essay for all Reapplicants:

Please use this space to share with the Admissions Committee how you have reflected and grown since your previous application and discuss any relevant updates to your candidacy (e.g., changes in your professional life, additional coursework, and extracurricular/volunteer engagements). (250 words)

This essay is an excellent way for reapplicants to highlight any growth they have had since the previous application cycle.

When addressing changes and growth since a previous application, focus on key areas of improvement. Clearly outline any additional coursework you've pursued for skill enhancement and highlight the impact of changes in your professional role on your skills and perspectives. 

Mention relevant extracurricular or volunteer engagements to showcase personal and societal contributions. Use concrete examples to illustrate growth and conclude by expressing ongoing enthusiasm for the program, emphasizing how these developments strengthen your candidacy. 

Essay 4 - Optional Essay: ‍

Please use this space to share any additional information about yourself that cannot be found elsewhere in your application and that you would like to share with the Admissions Committee. This space can also be used to address any extenuating circumstances (e.g., unexplained gaps in work experience, choice of recommenders, inconsistent or questionable academic performance, areas of weakness, etc.) that you would like the Admissions Committee to consider.

While this essay is optional, it can be a good space to clear up any issues that the admissions committee could have with your candidacy.

As you can see, these essays are meant to be relatively brief yet provide personal insights into who you are as a person. Using these prompts as examples, this article will outline the best ways to approach your Wharton MBA essays.

When addressing this essay prompt, use space to provide unique insights not covered elsewhere in your application. If there are gaps or inconsistencies, address them transparently, emphasizing the lessons learned or steps taken to overcome challenges. 

Use the opportunity to highlight distinctive strengths, experiences, or perspectives that contribute to your candidacy. Maintain a professional tone and focus on offering valuable information that enriches the admissions committee's understanding of your journey and qualifications.

Purpose of the Wharton MBA Essays

You can find the following statement on Wharton’s website regarding their MBA essays :

“The Admissions Committee is looking to understand more about you and your unique personality and how that can ultimately contribute to the Wharton community. We are a student-driven campus and need each and every MBA to bring something to the table.”

There are many essential pieces of information that you can glean from this statement about the purpose of the Wharton MBA essays. 

1. The Wharton MBA essays allow the admissions committee to see your personality.

The admissions committee has your resume and test scores, meaning that they already know the basics of your education and experience on a professional level. Essays are a way for them to dig a bit deeper and learn about who you are as a person, the events that have impacted you, and the values that you have gained through your experiences.

2. The Wharton MBA essays portray what you can contribute to the community and how well you can collaborate with others.

Business school is a great place to strengthen your skills and further your career on an individual level. However, what ideas or experiences can you bring to Wharton that will benefit your classmates or the program as a whole? The essays show the admissions committee how you will serve as an addition to the Wharton MBA program.

3. The Wharton MBA essays portray your leadership capabilities.

By stating that they are a “student-driven campus,” the admissions committee shows that they are looking for people that can carry out plans and lead their classmates toward goals that will benefit the program overall. This statement also indicates that the committee is looking for individuals who can find problems and work to solve them, creating change effectively.

By keeping these ideas in mind, you can then begin crafting your own essays.

Top Tips for Crafting the Wharton MBA Essays

Now that you understand the primary purpose of the essays and the possible themes, here are some tips to help you determine how to craft your Wharton MBA Essays.

Wharton’s website outlines these three tips for writing your MBA essays:

1. Write out everything first, then worry about word count.

‍ The essays are pretty short, and when it comes to your career aspirations or your background, you might have a lot more to say than just 400 or 500 words. The short word count can make the writing process intimidating, as you might be constantly checking the word count and hesitating to write anything out in detail.

When writing your first draft, ignore the word count; just get your ideas out there. Then, once you’ve finished, start looking for areas to cut out or shorten. By doing this, you can get through the writing process while also ensuring that you include everything you want to portray.

2. Connect the “Three Career Dots.”

Wharton’s website outlines these “three career dots” as follows:

“What have you done to date, what unique things do you already know, and what do you have still to learn? How can Wharton help you and how can you help the Wharton community? How does that all connect to your goals post-MBA?”

Basically, in the Wharton MBA Essays, your past, present, and future should connect. What are some unique skills and experiences that you have gained through your studies or career that you can bring to Wharton’s MBA program? What do you hope to gain from Wharton, and how does that relate to your future career goals? By answering these questions, you can begin to paint a holistic picture of your hopes and aspirations for the Wharton MBA program. ‍

3. Be yourself.

‍ Writing these essays is a process that will already be difficult enough, and being anything but authentic will only make it more challenging. Don’t write what you think an admissions committee wants to hear; be true to yourself and your goals in your essays, and it will pay off in the long run.

Here are some additional tips for crafting your essays: ‍

1. Do your research.

Why are you applying to Wharton? What makes this school a suitable program for you? Which classes are you hoping to take, or which faculty members are you excited to meet? By being specific about Wharton’s program, you will show an admissions committee that you have extensively researched the program, know what you are getting into, and understand how Wharton can help you achieve your goals. ‍

2. Make sure you are answering the prompt.

‍ This tip might seem like a no-brainer, but it is a common mistake that many applicants make. Maybe there was an impactful experience in your career that made you want to pursue an MBA, or you have a unique background that you want to express in your essay.

These are important details about who you are , but are those experiences applicable to the essay prompts' specifications?

Sometimes, the most exciting or unique stories aren’t the most relevant. Everything in your essay should serve a purpose, and if you cannot relate that purpose to the question Wharton is asking, then it might be time to cut some things out.

3. Less storytelling, more concrete points. ‍

This tip relates to the previous one. You have a minimal amount of space in these essays, so make sure that every word has a purpose. Don’t fill your essay with a long story about the moment you decided to pursue an MBA or a detailed history of your childhood. If these events are important, you can briefly mention them, but try to focus on your skills, goals, and why Wharton is right for you.

Wharton MBA Essay Examples and What Made It Successful

The following is an excerpt from a successful Wharton MBA Essay written for the 1st previously mentioned example prompt.

Essay 1: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? 

Introduction:.

Innovation in healthcare has historically existed in two spheres: the sophisticated yet aspirational, and the simple yet practical. I’ve experienced both sides of the coin; from developing AI for cancer detection and intensive care while at [University] to now dissecting commercially-successful healthcare businesses at [Company]. The bridge between aspiration and result in healthcare is fraught with well-known obstacles to innovation.

In this introduction, the writer brings up their past and present career experiences and explains how those experiences have shaped their understanding of the healthcare field. They also introduce an existing problem, thus setting up the rest of the essay for how they hope to solve this problem.

Body Paragraph 1:

My overarching goal is to bridge this gap and develop next-generation AI to mitigate physician and nurse burnout. By building and commercializing tools that reliably automate routine elements of patient care, I wish to create a more resource-efficient and outcome-centric global healthcare system. I’ve cultivated the raw engineering and business skills at [University], [Company], and [Company], and the Wharton MBA will equip me with the venture toolkit, network, and relevant healthcare entrepreneurship skills to succeed.

Strengths:‍

Having established the existing problems that the writer has observed in the healthcare field, they now drive the essay forward with how they hope to solve those issues. They also outline the skills they’ve learned through their past experiences and explain how the Wharton MBA will further develop those skills.

Body Paragraph 2:

Central to the lasting success of my MBA experience would be the Wharton community. The prospect of developing lifelong relationships and collaborating with accomplished peers through the cluster model inspires and excites me. I also look forward to mentorship opportunities from professors like Christian Terweisch. I often used his concept of innovation tournaments to drive collaboration at client organizations as a management consultant.

Here, the writer explains in detail how Wharton will help them to achieve their goals. By mentioning the cluster model and the mentorship opportunities that Wharton offers, the writer shows the admissions committee that they have done their research. Also, by naming professor Christian Terweisch, the writer further establishes that they understand how the Wharton MBA program, in particular, will assist them in pursuing their aspirations.

Conclusion:

Wharton startups such as Burrow and Harry’s have revolutionized numerous industries, transformed value chains, and changed millions of lives worldwide. Standing at this critical juncture in my career, I am excited to follow in their footsteps, realize my true potential, and build an organization that improves healthcare around the world. For that, I see no better platform than a Wharton MBA.

In this conclusion paragraph, the writer gives examples of successful products of the Wharton MBA program and how those startups specifically benefited the world. This connects to the writer’s previously mentioned goal of creating change in the healthcare field. The writer shows that they understand how Wharton can help them take the necessary steps in building their career.

Overall, this essay incorporates all of the tips mentioned above. The writer briefly summarizes their past experiences, what they learned, and the issues they observed in the healthcare field. 

Then, the writer links the past to the present, detailing how their experiences have contributed to their current goals. They then discuss the future, outlining how specific aspects of Wharton’s MBA program will help them achieve their career aspirations. 

Each sentence has a purpose, and overall, the writer connects past, present, and future to concisely answer the prompt.

Essay 2: How do you plan to make specific, meaningful contributions to the Wharton community?

As a Wharton MBA, I plan to seek opportunities that exploit my strengths contributing to team environments. First, I thrive in settings where I can leverage my broad knowledge base and strong analytical foundation to help solve problems across a number of functions. Similarly, my empathetic style of leadership has been effective in engaging a range of perspectives and voices towards a common goal. Both aspects position me uniquely to take on roles where I can bridge Wharton with the surrounding community.

In this introduction, the author talks about their strong skills and how they’ll use them to contribute to the community. The author mentions specific skills and sets up a scene of how effective their skills are. 

Dance education is an initiative I’m highly motivated to support, as dance has been an amazing therapeutic outlet for me. The countless hours I’ve spent bhangra dance moves have been both highly meditative and endlessly entertaining. Dance is also perhaps the most powerful unifier of people I’ve ever experienced. All personal differences seem to wash away when people can join around their common love of dance. While at Wharton, I plan to combine my appreciation for performance and excitement to engage with the community by working with Wharton Dance Studio, which brings Wharton students together in a broad variety of styles and and cultures, for events such as the Wharton Dance Studio & India Club’s joint Bollywood Fusion Diwali Dance Workshop. Whether teaching, organizing live events for the community, or even taking the stage as a dancer myself, I am excited about the range of ways I can spread the joy of movement through the Wharton Dance Club.

Another area of personal interest where I intend to contribute meaningfully to the Wharton community is golf. I played golf extensively growing up, but talents lie less on the fairway and more in the front-office. For years, I have maintained an avid interest in the advanced analytics of golf as a scouting / decision-making tool, even going so far as to create my own statistical models. As a widget industry professional, I’ve become well-versed in the emerging technology companies advancing the applications of data analytics to the golf handicap industry. 

In this body paragraph, the author uses personal anecdotes and connects it to how they have contributed to those interests. The author also explains how they plan on using those experiences and use them to contribute to the Wharton community. 

Working with the Wharton Golf Club, I am eager to help lead the Wharton team competing at the MBA Masters tourney at Duke University and the annual Spring Scramble, and I would love to organize teams of Wharton golfers to work with inner-city Philadelphia high school and collegiate kids, helping to promote the adoption of advanced golf statistical handicapping to elevate athletic performance at the amateur level.

The author does a great job using their working experience at the Wharton Golf Club and explaining their dedication to helping the golf team succeed. The author also uses a specific example of how they’d support the community with this specific experience. 

If you still have questions, check out these frequently asked questions. 

1. Should I answer the optional Wharton MBA essay prompt?

The optional essay prompt is a great way to address any discrepancies you might have in your application, including poor academic performance, gaps in your resume, or low test scores. Use this essay to clear up any lingering questions that an admissions committee might have regarding your candidacy.

2. I’m reapplying to the Wharton MBA program; Do I have to answer essay prompts 1 and 2? Or can I resubmit my previous essays?

Wharton requires reapplicants to answer both essay prompts 1 and 2 and a prompt specifically for reapplicants. The writing prompts may change from year to year, so your previous submissions may not be entirely relevant anymore. If the prompts haven’t changed, it is still a good idea to reevaluate the quality of your past essays.

3. Is it okay to submit essays that I used for other applications if the prompts are similar?

Generally, you should avoid submitting the same essay that you’ve used for another school. You can use pieces from other essays you’ve written, but you need to make sure that you tailor your Wharton MBA essays explicitly to the Wharton MBA program.

Different programs have varying missions and values, so using the same essays for every application will not benefit your application.

4. What should I talk about in my Wharton MBA essays?

Generally, the purpose of essays is to “make the invisible visible,” meaning that they are a place to show the admissions committee a side of you that they cannot see anywhere else in your application. Rather than listing experiences that the admissions committee can already find in your resume, try to focus on things you’ve learned or your future goals.

5. If I’m applying to a joint-degree program at Wharton, do I have to write additional essays?

Those applying to the Francis J. & William Polk Carey/JD MBA program “are strongly encouraged to answer the application essay questions in relation to the Carey JD/MBA Program as opposed to only the Wharton MBA Program.” Those applying to the Wharton/Lauder Institute Joint-Degree Program must answer one additional Lauder prompt.

6. Can I write about my undergraduate experiences in the Wharton MBA essays?

Your undergraduate years were likely full of learning opportunities and growth, which is why briefly mentioning them could be insightful in your essays. However, don’t make them the focus of your essay, especially if you have several years of work experience.

Use your undergraduate experiences to establish where you came from and how much you’ve grown, and then connect them to your present motivations and future goals.

The Wharton MBA essays offer the admissions committee a brief glimpse into your personality and motivations. The writing process may seem intimidating at first, but just make sure to stay true to yourself and don’t focus on word count in your first draft. Then, in the editing process, you can evaluate areas to cut and refine, focus on connecting the past, present, and future, and highlight why you chose Wharton in particular.

By following these tips and tricks, you can craft an essay that genuinely portrays who you are and why you would be a great fit at the Wharton School of Business.

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Wharton Stories

Wharton emba admissions directors share tips on writing strong essays.

“Take time to be thoughtful and be yourself. We want to really get to know you through these essays,” advised Admissions Director Barbara Craft.

“I have already made this paper too long, for which I must crave pardon, not having now time to make it shorter.”

Applicants to Wharton’s EMBA program can probably relate to this famous Ben Franklin quote. After all, we are asking you to be thoughtful and condense a lot of important information about yourself into three short essays .

The key is taking the time to reflect on the questions. Don’t miss the opportunity to think about how you want to frame your personal and professional experience and how this program can help your future career.

 Philadelphia Admissions Director Diane Sharp advises applicants to start the essay writing process early. “The questions are posted in advance to give you plenty of time to draft and rework answers before submitting your application. We want to see thoughtful essays, and it takes time to figure out what you want to say and how to convey that in the framework of the essays.”

Just as important as giving yourself time is ensuring that the essays reflect the real you. “Being honest in your responses and staying true to who you are as a candidate is essential,” said San Francisco Admissions Director Barbara Craft .

This is when asking a colleague or friend for help is useful. “Have someone who knows you well read your essays and then ask them if the essays sound like you,” she advised.

And ask that same person – or perhaps another friend or colleague – to help proofread your final drafts. “There is no excuse for essays with grammar errors and typos,” said Barbara.

Diane noted that another pitfall to avoid is plagiarism. “The number one reason to deny an application based on an essay is plagiarism,” noted Diane. “We run plagiarism checks on all essays and expect professionalism.”

If you are ready to start your application, here are tips for tackling each specific essay, including one that is new this year.

The First Essay

The first question asks about your career objectives and how this program will help you achieve your goals.

“We want to see that you have thought about your career and how this program will add value. We want to make sure you have done your due diligence both on our program and why it is the right fit for you and your goals,” said Diane.

She added that applicants should focus on where they currently are in their career and what they would do with an MBA. “Your plans may change, but we want to make sure you have been thoughtful about this program and why you want to come here now.”

The Second Essay

The second essay is new to the application this year and relates to diversity and inclusion. Applicants are asked what intentional steps they have taken or would recommend to support an equitable and inclusive environment at work or elsewhere. The prompt suggests that applicants take a moment to learn how the University of Pennsylvania endeavors to make everyone feel welcome: Diversity at Wharton .

Diane said, “Not everyone has the same experiences in this area. Some applicants may choose to write about a personal situation or professional experience. Others may opt to describe a more general way they have made an impact or been an ally in diversity and inclusion. Our students come from a variety of backgrounds and everyone’s perspective adds value and enhances the learning environment.”

Barbara noted, “What is most important is to be authentic and thoughtful about how you embrace diversity and inclusion in your life. There is no perfect answer, and it’s OK if the question makes you realize that you’d like to do more in this area.”

The Third Essay

The final required essay asks applicants to explain how this program will fit into their lives. Applicants need to describe their plan for handling the additional demands on their time, as EMBA students spend approximately 20 hours per week outside of the program studying for class.

“We want to see that you’ve been mindfully planning for this program. That you have talked to your stakeholders and are really thinking about how you will carve out time to dedicate to this program and your personal and professional growth,” said Barbara.

Diane added, “Being enrolled in the program means candidates will need to realign responsibilities, as it requires a substantial commitment of your time and resources.”

The Optional Essay

The optional essay is an opportunity to share information that may be missing in other parts of the application.

Diane explained, “This essay is truly optional. Don’t feel compelled to use this space unless you have something to share that can’t be conveyed in another part of the application, such as circumstances that impacted your undergraduate academic performance.”

The Bottom Line

“The biggest piece of advice for all of the essays is to take time to be thoughtful and be yourself,” said Barbara. “We want to really get to know you through these essays. So, make sure they are in your voice, give strong examples, and tell us about you instead of what you think we want to hear.”

— By Meghan Laska

Posted: October 18, 2021

• Admissions and Applying

EMBA Program

Wharton MBA Program for Executives

Barbara Craft

Admissions Director Wharton MBA Program for Executives, San Francisco

Diane Sharp

Admissions Director Wharton MBA Program for Executives, Philadelphia

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We believe academic advising is a collaborative process and that, ultimately, you, the student, are responsible for your educational experience. As advisors, we strive to:

• Engage  you in the process of reflection and decision making.
• Educate  you about what you need to know to grow and develop as a student.
• Empower  you to take full responsibility for your academic decisions and plans and get the most out of your university experience.

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7 Strong UPenn Essay Examples

What’s Covered

• Essay 1: Neuroscience
• Essay 2: Why UPenn
• Essay 3: Why Nursing
• Essay 4: Library Love
• Essay 5: Tug of War
• Essay 6: Internet Networks
• Essay 7: Thank You

Where to Get Your UPenn Essays Edited

The University of Pennsylvania is a highly-selective Ivy League school in the heart of Philadelphia. UPenn is known for its rigorous academics and exceptional opportunities, so it’s no easy feat to get in. To help your application stand out, it’s important to have strong essays.

In this post, we will share six strong essays real students have submitted to UPenn to give you some inspiration for your essays. We will also be going over what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our UPenn essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

Essay Example #1: Why Major

Prompt: Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, how will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania?  For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer these questions in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay. (300-450 words)

I always loved watching the worms when it rained. I used to put my little raincoat on, sit on the doorsteps, and watch them move toward the puddles. My younger brother, forever intent on destroying the world around him, would try to stomp on the worms, and I would run after him screaming. In my imagination, the brain looked like a pile of squiggly worms. However, my neuroscience curiosity has since grown beyond a worm’s habits.

For example, my mother thought that I was insane when I wanted to watch American Murder: The Family Next Door . To her immense relief, I was interested in the psychology of the criminal rather than the crime itself. Although neuroscience is my primary interest, I also hope to learn more about the intersection between law and medicine at the UPenn College of Arts and Sciences. I’ve been able to explore this topic through various projects at school such as presentations on juvenile crime and the death penalty.

At the University of Pennsylvania, I look forward to taking classes like Forensic Neuroscience (BIBB 050) as well as Neuroscience and Society (PSYC 247) both of which directly combine my two interests. Hopefully, the Take Your Professor to Dinner program resumes as I would make sure to talk to Dr. Daniel Langleben about his research on forensic functional brain imaging over a meal of Philly cheesesteaks.

I also hope to participate in the Race, Science, and Society Program where I can discover how race biases and neuroscience go hand-in-hand and contribute to the fight against racism. The Beyond Arrests: Re-Thinking Systematic-Oppression Group immediately caught my attention while looking at Penn’s opportunities to engage in relevant dialogue. My fascination with the criminal system began with reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment , and Penn will both fuel that curiosity as well as introduce new questions about the world of justice reform.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and a five-time reader of the Percy Jackson franchise, I would like to take classes in the Penn Classical Studies department where I can learn more about the impact of ancient cultures on society today. Classes such as Greek and Roman Medicine (CLST 271) would intersect my interests in medicine and classical civilizations.

Although I do harbor a deep love for Philly cheesesteaks and enjoyment of running in strange places like the Woodlands Cemetery, the range of programs to support my diverse interests and unmatched opportunities to put learning into action make me confident that the University of Pennsylvania is the best university for me to succeed.

What the Essay Did Well

The real strength in the essay lies in the sheer number of details this student is able to include in a short space, without sacrificing style and flow. The first two paragraphs really have nothing to do with Penn, but the inclusion of them makes this response feel like an essay, rather than a list of offerings at Penn. Striking the balance is important, and the anecdote at the beginning ultimately humanizes the writer.

From the three unique courses to the specific professor and his research to the race and criminal justice programs, this student has clearly done their homework on Penn! The key to this essay’s success isn’t just mentioning the offerings at Penn that excite the student, but the context that explains how each opportunity fits into the student’s academic interests.

Adding book titles like Crime and Punishment and Percy Jackson to support their passion for the criminal justice system and classics are extra details that help us learn more about how this student pursues their passions outside of the classroom. Finding little ways to humanize yourself throughout the essay can take it from good to great.

What Could Be Improved

One area of improvement for this essay is the structure. It follows a very traditional “ Why This College? ” framework—start with an anecdote, then discuss classes, and then extracurriculars and programs—that gets old quickly for admissions officers.

A great way to add some spice to the format would be to use a sample schedule for the day. This essay mentions three different classes, two different groups, and a Take Your Professor to Dinner opportunity. Together, that’s the recipe for a full day at UPenn!

There are a few ways to play around with an essay that follows a typical day-in-the-life. Maybe each paragraph starts with a time and explains what they do during that hour. Maybe they narrate walking through campus on their way from one class to the next and what they just learned. However they choose to go about it, adding in a playful spin to the traditional essay structure is one of the best ways to instantly set an essay apart from the crowd. 

Essay Example #2: Why UPenn

Prompt: Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, how will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at The University of Pennsylvania? (300-450 words)

“Arnav, we want you to apply”, I received this email from Penn and DASHED to tell mum. My naïve self had forgotten I had checked the ‘Student-Search-Service’ box, and schools could send system-generated emails predicated on my SAT scores. 

This pure, childlike delight was out of my sheer obsession with Penn. When my senior at school got in here last year, I pestered him all year long trying to know HOW. Tireless researching, approaching hundreds of alumni on Reddit, watching EVERY millisecond of YouTube advice, and painting a life-size Quaker on my bedroom walls only to miss the ED deadline by falling to pneumonia: Regardless of these setbacks, I sported an impending dream.

At Penn, I intend to revitalize this dream through the College of Arts and Sciences. Classes like “ Political Journalism at the Crossroads” and “ Queer Theory ” blend my love for English and politics which I will reflect through writing for Penn’s signature magazine- The Pennsylvania Gazette. At the Penn Institute of Urban Research and CAS, I aim to make the best use of Summer Humanities Internships (SHIP) and Global Research Internship Programs (GRIP) to finance my collaborative research in the Public Affairs domain. I’ll also sign on for the Penn Debate Society (PDS), and collaborate with TEDxPENN to hear budding speakers from different walks of life. As perhaps my country’s most accomplished debater, I vow to make this my personal goal to lead our team to total victory at the World Universities Debating Championship (WUDC) that Penn has dreamed of winning since 1981. To further my progress with the fight against child labor , I shall assist and seek assistance of a like-minded student-body via the Barbara and Edward Netter Center for Community Partnerships.

For someone who’s obsessed with rhetoric, I totally understand the definition of an ‘agreement’. In our context, an agreement would be a two-way street where I avail facilities Penn offers while adding to its community, campus, and unwavering prestige. As I pack my bag with all essentials- my brain, my grit, and my quirky self- I complete one half of the agreement. 

Dear Penn, I now wait for you to hand me that beautiful letter as we seal our deal.

If there’s one thing this essay has, it’s confidence. From the first line to the last, there’s an energy and electricity running through the essay that maintains that quick, self-assured pace. Sharing the anecdotes of their long withstanding obsession with Penn strikes a balance between playfully self-deprecating and demonstrating true interest in the school. College essays shouldn’t kiss up to schools, and while this one approaches that level, using the anecdote for humor rather than fact helps avoid a sense of groveling.

This student clearly dreams big and is unapologetic about it: the mark of a true Quaker. From getting involved in internships to joining Ted talks and the Penn Debate Society, they will be an active member of the campus community, which is something admissions officers are keeping an eye out for when scanning applications. With the use of an assertive tone (“ I aim ”, “ I vow ”, “ I shall ”, etc) this student conveys exactly who Penn can expect to step onto their campus next fall.

While this student’s personality shines through without a doubt, their academic interests and motivations are not as clear. The third paragraph lists a host of opportunities they are interested in, and it does connect Penn offerings back to the student, but it doesn’t reveal much about the student in the process.

They mention “ Classes like ‘ Political Journalism at the Crossroads’ and ‘ Queer Theory’ blend my love for English and politics, ” but we have no idea where that love came from or what they hope to accomplish in the future. This essay would have benefitted from mentioning two or three less opportunities and elaborating on the significance of the select programs they chose.

You’ve likely heard that less is more, and in the case of this essay that’s true. The pressure to look well-researched by including as many Penn offerings as possible overwhelmed this student. In reality, choosing a few meaningful, unique opportunities and tying them back to your intellectual passions will reveal your passion for Penn far more than eight or nine disconnected resources thrown together.

Essay Example #3: Nursing

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

This essay has many positive aspects, but the most impressive one is the structure. Utilizing the Five C’s of Caring to discuss Penn’s offerings was a genius way of tying in this student’s passion for nursing while also making their essay exciting and easy to read. Beginning each paragraph with the respective adjective helped focus the paragraph and allowed the student to demonstrate how they exemplify each quality without explicitly stating it. The student wasn’t afraid to think outside the box and add creativity to their essay structure, which really paid off.

Another positive is how specific and specialized the Penn resources and opportunities the student mentions are. This essay did not fall into the trap of name-dropping professors or programs. In every paragraph, there was a connection to something the student wants to do at Penn to further themselves in the respective characteristic they were describing.

Not only did this student mention a resource at Penn—whether it was a professor, a class, or a club—in every paragraph, but they elaborated on what that resource was and how it would help them achieve their goal of becoming a nurse. The what and how is what sets this essay apart from other supplements that just name-drop resources for the sake of it. The amount of detail this essay went into about some of these resources makes it clear to the admissions officers reading the essay that this student has seriously looked into Penn and has a strong desire to come to campus and use these resources.

One thing this essay could do to make it stronger is improve the first paragraph. The student does a good job of setting up Sister Roach and the Five C’s, but they don’t mention anything about their desire to study or pursue nursing. The first paragraph mentions both Sister Roach and Penn, but left out the student. This could be fixed by simply adding something along the lines of “ I can’t wait to embody these values as a nursing student at Penn ” to the paragraph.

Essay Example #4: Library Love

Prompt: How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected (300-450 words).

“This book again?” My mother sighed as she cracked open the punctuation picture book I’d picked out for the fifth time. At the age of four, I had little knowledge of punctuation, so the words “exclamation” and “comma” remained elusive; I grew obsessed with puzzling out its meaning. Growing up in the Hewlett-Woodmere Public Library surrounded by the scent of old books, comforting silence, and librarian friends made it easy to forget about the world outside, yet my thirst for answers always pushed me out of literary comfort zones and into the unknown. Even as I moved on from Magic Tree House to Harry Potter , my inquisitive nature and determination to understand the literature around me only evolved. Foreign concepts and obstacles sparked my ambition as I tackled the intimidating Les Misérables sophomore year, Crime and Punishment junior year, and Jane Eyre senior year. I found a relatability in Joy Luck Club characters that I incorporated into my writing and an emotional outlet in the depths of the poetry aisle and writer communities at literary magazines like Polyphony Lit . I can find similar communities at Penn by curating pieces for Penn Review or spending days soaking in knowledge at the Van Pelt Library, poring over Macbeth or the Iliad . Although libraries may provide sanctuaries, they also open infinite worlds and viewpoints. I realized that stories (no matter what form they take) always manage to capture the intrinsic connection between humans that I seek in every interaction I have. 

I’ve learned that life beyond the library teems with complex characters and lessons of its own–especially at Penn, where students are determined to grapple with difficult questions involving cultural differences or the declining value of art in an increasingly STEM-focused world. I am eager to challenge my boundaries as a reader, writer, and human being by applying the relational lessons of a Fiction and Connectivity seminar to real life, reading to younger generations during Children’s Story Hour at Penn Bookstore, and hosting Open Mic Nights with Kelly Writers House. I can see myself initiating change in society by researching the effects of Western society’s harmful misconceptions of Asian and African-American culture in literature with Professor Josephine Park. Penn will not only satisfy some of my curiosities–it will provoke even more daunting and thrilling questions for me to pursue.

This essay does a really nice job of showing the student’s interest in reading and literature. The language they used to describe their library as “ comforting “, and finding an “ emotional outlet ” in reading creates a clear picture for the reader that this student loves to read. Not only do we learn about this student’s passion, but we learn through them showing us. The essay shows us how the student felt in the library and takes us on a journey as they tackle more and more advanced books, as opposed to telling us they are passionate about reading.

The use of book titles was another positive aspect of this essay. Citing actual books and explaining how they affected the student helps display to the admissions officers reading the essay that literature has impacted this student in a multitude of ways. We see the student grow from being young and curious to tackling challenging concepts, embracing new cultures, and engaging in self-reflection all through reading. 

The main part of this essay that could use improving was the second paragraph that discussed how Penn will allow this student to continue exploring their passion. Although the student did provide some explanation as to how these resources at Penn will help them grow their interest in reading and writing, the elaboration was pretty weak. 

The student mentions they want to grow as “ reader, writer, and human being by applying the relational lessons of a Fiction and Connectivity seminar to real life, reading to younger generations during Children’s Story Hour at Penn Bookstore, and hosting Open Mic Nights with Kelly Writers House. ” These are all great, but nothing mentioned here is specific to Penn. This student could host an open mic night at any college they go to, so they either need to pick something more unique  or provide detailed elaboration on how participating in this will help them in the long run.

If this student had focused more on the research they want to do with the professor, they could have had a stronger response to the second part of the prompt. Sometimes, going into detail about one resource that you have a strong connection to is far more powerful than cramming in a bunch of opportunities that relate to your desired field—which is what the essay is currently doing. For example, discussing how they want to research cultural representation in literature with this professor to understand and reverse harmful misconceptions in their own writing and have more cultural diversity in libraries for future generations to enjoy, would have provided a lot more detail about the student and their goals than saying they want to read to kids when they get to Penn.

Essay Example #5: Tug of War

Prompt: At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classrooms, too. How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community (150-200 words).

I used to face two paths: one flocked with taxis, people, and the smell of pizza, and the other a wet street laced with cicada symphonies and the aroma of beef noodle soup. It always felt easier to walk the streets of Taiwan (where people speak meekly and tiptoe around confrontation) rather than New York (where people argue, think, and exist fearlessly). PBS created a documentary titled Tug of War: The Story of Taiwan (1998) , and I believed that I embodied the little potato island, since balancing between two cultures resulted in a “Tug of War” within me. Although I am proud to be Taiwanese, New York has cultivated an unbridled emotion and passion within me, molding me into a bold author, shameless poet, and strong-willed advocate for Asian-American youth. I am excited by the similar passion and confidence of Penn students, and the vibrant conversations I might have at a Campaign for Community event about racial justice or with Professor David Eng about Asian literature influences upon American society. I can support peers struggling with their own “Tug of Wars” by sharing my story through the Penn Taiwanese Society, and learn their stories as a writer for Robinson Press .

This essay does a great job of establishing this student’s background and the distinction between their two cultures. There is a great use of imagery, especially at the beginning, which displays this student’s strength as a writer and highlights the internal “Tug of War” they experience. It is evident how their past community has shaped their perspective and identity. Knowing how their background shaped these things makes it easy for admissions officers to see what type of student they would be adding to their campus.

While the prompt doesn’t ask the student to reflect on their community, explaining their background helped this student describe how they will shape their Penn community. A big part of what this student hopes to bring to Penn is helping other students who feel a similar “Tug of War”, so understanding how this student has coped with their internal struggle is important to understand what they will bring to Penn. 

Unfortunately, by spending so much space discussing their “Tug of War”, this student didn’t have the strongest answer to the main question in the prompt: how will you explore the community at Penn? This essay should have been far more focused on opportunities and resources at Penn that will shape this student’s identity. The last few sentences mentioned resources the student wants to take advantage of, but there wasn’t a lot of elaboration on how engaging with these resources will influence their identity.

This doesn’t mean the student must completely forgo discussing the internal struggle they feel coming from two separate cultures, but they could have continued with the “Tug of War” idea to discuss how they will pursue opportunities at Penn that allow them to engage both aspects of their culture. Describing how participating in a certain club would allow them to embrace their emboldened New Yorker while working with a professor on their research about Asian literature might spark their interest in writing a novel about Taiwan, for example, would have been an effective way to continue the “Tug of War” metaphor and fully answer the prompt.

One other thing that could improve the essay is splitting it into two paragraphs. Reading one large block of text gets tiring for admissions officers who spend all day reading. Dividing the essay into paragraphs provides clear delineations for where new information is being presented, thus helping admissions officers stay focused on your essay.

Essay Example #6: Internet Networks

Prompt: Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the Internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words)

In 9th grade, I made my most astonishing work of art.

Funnily enough, it wasn’t for any class related to the arts. It was for my statistics class. I created it to answer a simple question: are people happier when they have more friends? To answer that question, my group and I surveyed 240 students. That month, the ink from my printer was running as dry as my body was soaked with sweat from running around the school collecting questionnaires. We compiled all results into a spreadsheet with hundreds of thousands of cells. It was the largest amount of data I had ever handled. I started analyzing it, cell by cell. The method of analysis? A node network graph. It was something new to me at the time and I didn’t know what to expect. The final result was an intensely vivid web of color composed of 240 nodes connected by thousands upon thousands of lines. It was magnificent to behold. It was intensely surreal as I witnessed the abstract concept of friendship manifested in something tangible and visual. This chaotic and hypnotizing mess of dots and lines was a snapshot of the relationships between an entire batch of students! From the graph, I could immediately discern that people aren’t automatically happier if they have more friends. It’s the quality of your friendships that matter. Ever since that project, I have been constantly seeking new ways to make the invisible structures around us visible.

Over the years, this interest has driven me to study the effects of the internet in greater depth. This is because the internet, for the past few decades, has been the biggest black box that our society has ever created. It has been credited for both promoting democracy and blamed for destroying it. It has been praised for spreading information, and decried for spreading misinformation. All of the confusion surrounding what the internet actually is stems mostly from the fact that it’s very hard to see the full extent of how it actually works and how it affects people. Media coverage of Google’s use of data or Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal, services I use every day, have left me wondering how we can improve the internet and make it more transparent for the people who use it.

As a policy-minded thinker and problem solver, I have done a lot of research and contemplation on the current problems and benefits of these platforms and services. I read about how Youtube has served as a platform for populist strongmen. I read about how Facebook enabled the Arab Spring. So far, all that I have learned is that the problem is an incredibly complex and nuanced one, with a lot of different actors and moving parts. It involves multinational companies, governments, and billions of individual users. In order to maximize the potential of these networks and minimize their harms, we have to be tactical in our approach. From figuring out data privacy to figuring out whether these companies are platforms or basic services, almost all aspects of the role of these networks fascinate me. It is also a topic that I have debated competitively in the past. I have participated in motions ranging from “This house would ban Google from retaining search data” to “This house believes news media outlets should use AI for the production and presentation of its news content”. I am highly invested in the role of social networks in today’s society; rather than their complexity pushing me away, it is what draws me in. 

The costs of not understanding social networks in this era is incredibly high. This is why I am willing to dedicate myself to studying it and uncovering the ways of how to deal with it. 

This student crafts a narrative that exudes the elusive show-not-tell quality that separates good essays from great ones. In order to generate this, the applicant employs phrases packed with vivid imagery like “ the ink from my printer was running as dry as my body was soaked with sweat”  and “ an intensely vivid web of color composed of 240 nodes connected by thousands upon thousands of lines. ” They also vary their sentence structure and include rhetorical questions to make the reader interact more with their essay content. 

Their passion for technology is well-expressed through the current examples they sprinkle throughout the essay like Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal and Google retaining search data. The NETS program values innovation and out-of-the-box thinking, so demonstrating they are keeping up with current events in the field and have opinions on ongoing debates shows UPenn that this student has a unique perspective to offer.

The student mentions debating topics related to the Interest in a structured manner; this shows, rather than tells admissions officers that they have strong research skills and communication abilities. By showing how their varied interests combine to produce an interdisciplinary passion, it makes their application unique and memorable to admissions officers. Not only that, but speaking about past experiences in detail allows them to establish credibility and demonstrate to admissions officers that they would be a good fit for this program.

As a whole, the essay is strong. It shares the student’s background, is well-written, and thinks about nuanced issues relating to technology.

Something that could have helped this essay would be to break up the long paragraphs into smaller, more digestible chunks. Because of the long paragraphs, it can be a little difficult to read the essay. There are many points where a new paragraph would’ve been logical, and flowed better.

For example, the first paragraph discusses both the process of collecting data and building the model and the student’s reflection on the results. A break after “ The final result was an intensely vivid web of color composed of 240 nodes connected by thousands upon thousands of lines”  would have been a natural switch from the physical aspects of the model to the introspection it spurred.

Another place for a new paragraph is when the student switches from discussing their research to their debate experience in the third paragraph. While they were trying to keep their extracurricular encounters with these topics together in one paragraph, it is far too dense as it’s written, and ideas gets lost in the sheer amount of information presented. Breaking it up would provide relief to the reader and help emphasize each point better by giving it its own space.

Essay Example #7: Thank You

Dear Mrs. Peterson,

After finishing my drawing of Timothée Chalamet this semester, I was stunned by its beauty—it was one of the first pieces that I was proud of. Because of the debacle with the charcoal drawing of my sister last year, I avoided drawing another human. Yet, you persisted in encouraging me to tackle this challenge; from achieving Timothée’s chiseled cheekbones to highlighting his curls, you always stood by my side—even when I wanted to quit.

Honing my artistic abilities was only a portion of what you taught me. You always encouraged me to be vulnerable, and I am gratified by our insightful conversations. From consoling me through the stress of finals to supporting my aspirations of becoming a lawyer, you never wavered in listening to my stories. You weren’t just my art teacher, but my shoulder.

I am inspired by how you lead your life with compassion and authenticity. Watching you build a community through dialogue furthered my own love of interaction as an instrument to foster connection. Thank you for being my guidepost. You made a home for me in your class, and it saddens me that I will be leaving it soon.

Gratefully,

Future Empathetic Lawyer

A strong hook is an essential part of any essay, to really draw a reader into the story. This writer does an excellent job immediately grabbing our attention by describing a tangible object that represents why they are thankful to their art teacher, which is a far more powerful technique than just saying something general like “You have made me a much better artist.”

The drawing of Timothée Chalamet also serves as an anchor for the traits the writer wants to highlight about themselves, such as risk-taking (taking on the challenge of drawing “his chiseled cheekbones…[and] curls” ) and perseverance ( “you always stood by my side” ). Remember that showing your reader something about yourself, through a tangible example like an art project, makes your points far more convincing than just telling them you are a certain way, as then you’re just leaving them to take your word for it.

The writer also seamlessly transitions from talking about their drawing to talking about how their art teacher has helped them in general, with the line “Honing my artistic abilities was only a portion of what you taught me.” This line provides the perfect jumping-off point for the writer to show us how their teacher has supported them in non-art contexts as well.

Finally, in a big-picture sense, the writer strikes a great balance between highlighting their art teacher’s virtues, and how those virtues have helped them grow and develop their own personality. With this prompt, there’s a risk that you end up talking too much about the person you’re thanking, and not enough about yourself–remember, you’re the one admissions officers are trying to make a decision about! But this writer avoids that pitfall by always connecting the things they admire in their art teacher to qualities they have developed themselves.

There is not much room for improvement in this essay. The author directly connects the values they have learned from their art teacher to tangible experiences, which ensures their essay will stand out even from other essays written about teachers.

The only point in the essay that reads a little strangely is the inclusion of the word “empathetic” in the student’s signature. Although we can read between the lines that they learned empathy from their teacher, that actually isn’t a value they name outright. They do highlight vulnerability, compassion, authenticity, and connection, so to make the end of the essay feel more cohesive, they could either replace “empathetic” with something like “compassionate,” or just make sure they do explicitly include empathy in the body of the essay.

If you want more examples of strong UPenn “Thank You” essays , check out our post dedicated exclusively to this new supplement!

Do you want feedback on your UPenn essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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ESSAY; Moscow's China Card

By William Safire

• Sept. 8, 1986

Every decade or so, China undergoes a political convulsion. In 1948-49, the Communists threw out the Kuomintang; in 1956, Mao's ''Great Leap Forward'' plunged the country into a depression; in 1966, the Cultural Revolution to purify the party brought on a new Dark Ages; in 1976-78, we saw Mao's would-be radical successors, the ''Gang of Four,'' replaced by pragmatic Deng Xiaoping.

Now we are celebrating the 10th anniversary of the death of Mao, and some Pekingologists would have us believe that this decade's upheaval will not come.

Mr. Deng, at 82, has provided for his succession, we are assured: it's all set for Hu Yaobang and Zhao Ziyang to succeed him, with Hu Qili of the next generation right behind. Not to worry, goes the current Edgar Snow-job: China's new era of ''commutalism,'' communism with a capitalist face, will march undisturbed into the next millennium.

I wonder. Maybe the conventional wisdom will prove right for once. But for argument's sake, let's look at what is happening in China through a different set of glasses, seeking truth from facts.

Fact number one is that a wave of materialism is sweeping across the billion people of China. After a generation of repression, good ol' greed is back in the saddle, and an I'm-all right-Deng attitude permeates the new entrepreneurs.

As a longtime expositor of the virtue of greed in powering the engine of social progress, I cannot cluck-cluck at this. But there is a difference between the materialism of the Chinese on Taiwan, who are accustomed to free enterprise, and the lust for the good life of available goods on the mainland, where a terrible thirst has been a-building.

Let us assume that the outburst of materialism in China leads to some reaction: that some spoilsport faction emerges to summon up the ghost of Mao's ideological purity, and that this new gang of fortyish Outs finds its way back in. It is at least a possibility.

I think that shrewd old Deng is well aware of this possibility. That is why, despite his ostentatious rejection of personal cultdom, he is preparing his most dramatic assault on the memory of Mao. That father of the revolution startled the world by breaking with the Soviet Union; Mr. Deng, playing a revisionist Lenin to Mao's Marx, wants to startle the world and overwhelm internal opposition by a rapprochement with Moscow.

Accordingly, fact two: He has abandoned his demand that Russia move back its huge army from the Chinese border, thereby double-crossing his own Army leaders. He has forgotten his requirement that Soviet forces be withdrawn from Afghanistan, thereby double-crossing his Westernish ally, Pakistan.

All Mr. Deng now asks of the Russians is that they try to squeeze their Vietnamese clients to pull out of Cambodia. Of course they'll try - ''best efforts'' is an easy promise - and since the Vietnamese are notoriously independent, Moscow cannot be blamed for not succeeding. Result: Mr. Deng takes the salute from atop the wall in Red Square.

That reestablishes his Communist credentials, defanging hard-left opposition at home. And it is Middle Kingdom orthodoxy; I suspect Chinese agents in the U.S. supply the K.G.B. with intelligence, just as Peking permits our Big Ears on its soil to overhear Kremlin transmissions. Chinese policy has always been to play the barbarians against each other.

This theory would also explain fact three: Mr. Gorbachev's seizure of a U.S. newsman as hostage. It is no coincidence that this particular hostage selection follows China's arrest and expulsion of a reporter for a U.S. newspaper. The Soviet leader, advised by Anatoly Dobrynin, must have known that this slap in the face would jeopardize a summit - and went ahead with his calculated humiliation, similar to Mr. Nixon's mining of Haiphong harbor before his Moscow summit in 1972.

Because the Russians now have the prospect of a pilgrimage to Moscow by Mr. Deng, they can taunt the U.S. President with impunity. As Mr. Dobrynin probably predicted, Mr. Reagan is reduced to begging for the hostage's release, in effect volunteering testimony to a Soviet court, in his eagerness to crown his Presidency with a peacemaking summit.

Now Mr. Gorbachev can hang tough, holding a show trial and thereby delaying negotiations with the U.S. until the Deng visit - or can graciously accede to the Reagan plea, thereby establishing his dominance. And the overconfident Mr. Reagan never suspected, as he sat down to summit poker, that this time the China card was in his opponent's hand.

• Victor Mukhin

Victor M. Mukhin was born in 1946 in the town of Orsk, Russia. In 1970 he graduated the Technological Institute in Leningrad. Victor M. Mukhin was directed to work to the scientific-industrial organization "Neorganika" (Elektrostal, Moscow region) where he is working during 47 years, at present as the head of the laboratory of carbon sorbents.     Victor M. Mukhin defended a Ph. D. thesis and a doctoral thesis at the Mendeleev University of Chemical Technology of Russia (in 1979 and 1997 accordingly). Professor of Mendeleev University of Chemical Technology of Russia. Scientific interests: production, investigation and application of active carbons, technological and ecological carbon-adsorptive processes, environmental protection, production of ecologically clean food.   

Title : Active carbons as nanoporous materials for solving of environmental problems

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Call for Undergrad Essays - YRIS Acheson Prize 2024

The Yale Review of International Studies is currently soliciting submissions for our annual Acheson Prize Issue. The three best pieces will be published in our quarterly print journal and uploaded to our website. The author of the winning essay will receive a monetary prize of $700, second place will receive $300, and third place will receive $200.

We are accepting any essay broadly related to international affairs under 40 pages double spaced. A panel of Yale professors will judge the essays, and the competition is exclusively open to Yale undergraduates. Students can direct any questions or requests for deadline extensions to [email protected] . Submissions are due on May 12 at 11:59 PM and must be submitted to this Google Form .