how do you write a toast speech

How to Give a Toast: A Guide for Memorable Speeches

• The Speaker Lab
• January 12, 2024

Table of Contents

Ever been at a party or event, glass in hand, when suddenly you’re asked to say a few words? The room goes silent. All eyes are on you. It’s your moment and…panic sets in. How exactly are you supposed to give a toast?

Fear not! Giving a memorable toast is an art that can be mastered by anyone. Think of it as sharing a piece of wisdom wrapped up with a little wit and warmth. To master this art, we’ve got the scoop for you—whether it’s understanding the essence of a good toast, learning common etiquette rules, or avoiding classic mistakes, we’ve got it all. And don’t worry—we’ll throw in some sparkling examples to inspire your own memorable moments.

Ready? Let’s delve into this guide and make sure next time those spotlight moments aren’t panic-stricken but applause-driven!

The Purpose of Toasts

Before actually delving into how to give a toast, it’s important to understand why you’re giving a toast in the first place.

Toasts can be used in multiple settings. They celebrate special occasions like weddings or anniversaries, they honor individuals on their birthdays or retirement parties, and they provide a platform to express gratitude during holiday gatherings.

In its simplest form, a toast can be seen as an act of storytelling with three main parts: introduction (setting up the context), body (the story itself), and conclusion (where we lift our glasses).

The story told through a toast should create emotional resonance while also sharing insights into the person or event being toasted. Essentially, the aim of a toast is to unite everyone present in celebrating shared values or accomplishments.

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Essential Elements of a Good Toast

To give a toast that leaves an impression, you need to master certain key elements. These include sincerity, brevity, humor, and timing.

A good toast comes from the heart. It’s not about using big words or complex sentences but conveying genuine emotions and sentiments. If you can share personal anecdotes or experiences related to the occasion or person being toasted, you’ll make your words that much more meaningful.

A memorable toast is concise. Aim for two minutes max—this isn’t your chance to tell every story about your friendship with the bride since kindergarten. When giving a toast, stay succinct for the most impact.

Injecting some well-placed humor into your speech can lighten up any occasion—but remember to keep it tasteful.

Pick the right moment for your tribute—it shouldn’t interrupt dinner or come too late in the evening when guests might be ready to leave.

Crafting Your Memorable Toast

Brainstorming is the first step in crafting your toast. To start, simply let your ideas flow without worrying about structure or editing. Don’t worry about editing or structure yet, just get all your ideas down on paper. If you need inspiration, consider personal stories, quotes you love, or keynotes speeches.

Once you have all your ideas down, it’s time to start sculpting them into a well-rounded toast. Start by picking out the most powerful points from your brainstorm session. Then create an outline with these points as your guideposts.

Next, rehearse. Rehearse your lines until they feel natural—this will help you give your toast confidently without stumbling over words. Don’t overdo it, though, that way you keep some spontaneity in your toast.

As you write your toast, make sure you adapt it both to the audience and the occasion. Wedding toasts, for example, should be written with the wedding party and other guests in mind. What kind of jokes or humor will they appreciate? Are you best friends with the bride and groom or more of a casual acquaintance? Make sure you think through these things as you craft your toast.

Delivering Your Toast

Your body speaks volumes even before you start your toast. Stand tall, shoulders back, and make sure to keep eye contact with the audience. This not only conveys confidence but also helps engage listeners.

Controlling Voice Modulation

Varying pitch and volume can bring life to your speech. But don’t overdo it. Use these tools wisely to emphasize key points or evoke emotion without becoming theatrical.

Harvard Business Review offers some great tips on voice control for speakers.

Maintaining Audience Engagement

Remember, delivering a toast is an interactive experience. You’re not just talking at people but connecting with them emotionally. To maintain an emotional connection, take pauses for dramatic effect or laughs. After all, pauses are part of the rhythm of public speaking.

If space allows, feel free to roam around since movement can add dynamism to your toast.

Lastly, enjoy yourself. A happy speaker often leads to a captivated audience.

Common Toasting Etiquette

Toasts can make or break a celebration. Knowing the etiquette rules will help you give an unforgettable toast.

First, remember to keep it brief. A long-winded speech might lose your audience’s interest.

Second, avoid embarrassing stories or inside jokes that not everyone gets. While they may seem hilarious to you, you’ll lose your audience if only half of the room understands (or appreciates) your references. Instead, aim for universal themes like love or friendship—something that will resonate with all attendees.

Third, keep things positive. After all, a toast is about honoring someone, so stick to compliments and kind words.

Last, be mindful of timing. Don’t start your toast too early or late in the event—and don’t forget to end by inviting others to raise their glasses and join in on your sentiment.

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An Example of a Successful Toast

Before actually delivering your toast, it may help to consider an example. Let’s check out one memorable toast that has resonated with crowds in the past.

This example is from an Oscar acceptance speech by Matthew McConaughey . At the beginning of his speech, McConaughey stayed positive, recognizing the talent of the other nominees for best actor and expressing gratitude for those who helped him along his journey. He wasn’t even afraid to use a little humor to get his audience laughing.

Then, he settled into the meat of his toast by talking about how he considered his future self to be his hero, the person he wanted to be. In this way, McConaughey connected with his audience over the universal theme of always striving to be better.

Remember: you don’t need fame or high stakes situations to give an impactful toast. What matters is authenticity and connection with your listeners.

Mistakes to Avoid When Giving a Toast

People presenting a toast should be aware of who they are addressing; failing to do so is one of the most common errors. It’s essential to tailor your words and tone for the crowd you’re speaking to.

In addition, avoid rambling on without structure or point. Keep it concise, focused, and relevant. Crafting a speech with purpose can help in this regard.

Another common mistake is forgetting about timing. Good speakers know that timing isn’t just about how long they speak but also when they pause for effect or humor.

Lack of Preparation

Neglecting preparation is another pitfall some fall into. Make sure you rehearse enough times so that nerves don’t get the better of you during your moment under the spotlight. Toastmasters offers great tips for dealing with stage fright.

Inappropriate Content

Last but not least, inappropriate content has no place in any toast. Jokes at someone else’s expense might get laughs from some, but they will more likely leave others feeling uncomfortable—let’s keep things classy.

How to Give a Toast FAQs

What do you say when you give a toast.

When giving a toast, share an uplifting message or story about the person or event being celebrated. Keep it heartfelt and brief.

How do you give someone a toast?

To deliver a toast, stand up, raise your glass, capture attention with engaging words, then finish by leading everyone in raising their glasses too.

What is the proper way to toast?

The right way to make a toast involves speaking clearly and sincerely. Always respect your audience’s time by keeping it short and sweet.

How do you start a toast speech example?

One simple way to start a toast: “Dear friends and family of [Name], let’s raise our glasses in tribute to this extraordinary moment…”

Mastering how to give a toast isn’t as hard as it seems, right? Not only have you learned the purpose of giving a toast, you’ve grasped essential elements like brainstorming and rehearsing. Of course, delivery matters too. The way you use body language and voice modulation can make or break your moment in the spotlight.

To ensure smooth sailing during your toast, we walked through common etiquette rules and even gave you a successful example to consider—plus a few mistakes you’ll want to avoid.

Last but not least, breathe easy—you have everything you need to give that perfect toast!

• Last Updated: February 29, 2024

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How to Write a Toast Speech: A Step-by-Step Guide

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Are you tasked with delivering a toast speech, but don't know where to start? Fear not, we're here to help. Whether you're celebrating a milestone or achievement, expressing gratitude and appreciation, or simply entertaining and engaging your audience, crafting a memorable toast speech requires careful preparation and a bit of know-how. In this article, we'll take you through a step-by-step guide for writing an effective toast speech that will leave your audience feeling impressed and inspired.

Understanding the Purpose of a Toast Speech

Before you begin writing your toast speech, it's important to understand the purpose of the speech itself. Toasts are typically given to honor someone or celebrate a significant event, such as a wedding or milestone birthday. Within these broader categories, there are typically three main reasons for delivering a toast speech:

Celebrating a Milestone or Achievement

If you're giving a toast to celebrate a milestone or achievement, your speech should focus on the significance of the accomplishment and the hard work that went into achieving it. Consider including anecdotes or personal stories that highlight the honoree's dedication and perseverance.

Expressing Gratitude and Appreciation

If you're toasting someone as a form of thanks or appreciation, your speech should be centered around highlighting the person's qualities or actions that you are grateful for. This is an opportunity to express how much the honoree means to you, and how their actions have impacted the lives of others.

Entertaining and Engaging the Audience

Finally, if your toast speech is meant to be a lighthearted or entertaining moment during an event, your speech should be geared towards amusing and engaging the audience. Consider including jokes, anecdotes, or funny stories that will have your listeners laughing and enjoying the festivities.

Preparing to Write Your Toast Speech

Now that you have a clear understanding of why you're giving a toast, it's time to start preparing for the speech itself. Here are some tips for getting started:

Knowing Your Audience

When crafting a toast speech, it's important to consider who your audience will be. Are you speaking at a formal event, or is this a more casual affair? Understanding your audience will help you tailor your speech to their expectations and ensure that you strike the right tone.

Researching the Subject of the Toast

If you're toasting someone that you don't know very well, it's important to do a bit of research beforehand. Learn about the honoree's accomplishments and background, and consider talking to others who know them well to gain insight into their personality and character.

Gathering Personal Stories and Anecdotes

To make your toast speech truly memorable, it's important to incorporate personal stories and anecdotes that highlight the honoree's unique qualities and accomplishments. Consider reaching out to mutual friends or family members for inspiration, or reflecting on your own experiences with the honoree.

Crafting the Perfect Introduction

Once you've done some initial research and brainstorming, it's time to start writing your toast speech. Here are some tips for crafting a compelling introduction:

Grabbing the Audience's Attention

Starting your speech off with a bang is crucial for getting your listeners engaged and attentive. Consider opening with a personal anecdote, a surprising fact, or a humorous story to immediately grab their attention.

Setting the Tone for Your Speech

After you've captured your audience's interest, it's important to set the tone for the rest of your speech. Consider how you want your listeners to feel by the end of your speech, and make sure that your introduction fits with that overall tone.

Introducing Yourself and Your Connection to the Honoree

Finally, don't forget to introduce yourself and your connection to the honoree. This will help to establish your credibility as a speaker and give context to your speech.

Developing the Body of Your Speech

Now that you've set the stage for your speech, it's time to delve into the heart of the matter. Here are some tips for crafting a memorable body for your toast speech:

Sharing Personal Stories and Experiences

Personal anecdotes and stories are key to making your toast speech memorable and engaging. Choose stories that showcase the honoree's unique qualities and accomplishments, and be sure to tie them back to the overall theme or message of your speech.

Highlighting the Honoree's Accomplishments

If you're toasting someone to celebrate a milestone or achievement, it's important to reflect on their accomplishments and offer recognition for their hard work and dedication. Make sure to highlight specific achievements and give credit where credit is due.

Incorporating Humor and Emotion

To keep your audience engaged and invested in your speech, it's important to balance humor and emotion throughout. This will help to keep the mood light and entertaining, while also conveying the significance of the moment.

Wrapping Up Your Toast Speech

Now that you've laid out the body of your toast speech, it's time to bring it all together. Here are some tips for crafting a memorable conclusion:

Summarizing Your Main Points

As you wrap up your toast speech, take a moment to recap the main points that you've covered. This will help to reinforce the overall theme or message of your speech and ensure that your listeners come away with a clear understanding of your message.

Expressing Your Gratitude and Best Wishes

Finally, be sure to express your gratitude and well wishes for the honoree. This is a chance to offer your congratulations and convey how much the person means to you and those around them.

Closing on a High Note

As you conclude your speech, aim to end on a high note. Consider sharing a final personal anecdote or offering a heartfelt toast to the honoree. This will leave a lasting impression and ensure that your speech is remembered for years to come.

ChatGPT Prompt for Writing a Toast Speech

Use the following prompt in an AI chatbot . Below each prompt, be sure to provide additional details about your situation. These could be scratch notes, what you'd like to say or anything else that guides the AI model to write a certain way.

Compose a speech that is intended to be delivered as a toast, with the goal of expressing congratulations, appreciation, or admiration for a person or group of people. The speech should be well-crafted and thoughtful, and should effectively convey the intended message to the audience. The speech may be delivered in a formal or informal setting, and should be appropriate for the occasion and the audience.

[ADD ADDITIONAL CONTEXT. CAN USE BULLET POINTS.]

Writing a memorable toast speech requires careful preparation, a bit of research, and a lot of heart. By following the step-by-step guide outlined in this article, you'll be well on your way to crafting a speech that will impress and inspire your audience. Remember to tailor your speech to the occasion and your audience, incorporate personal anecdotes and stories, and balance humor and emotion throughout. With these tips in mind, you're sure to deliver a toast speech that will be remembered for years to come. Cheers!

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This acronym will help you give the perfect toast

Lauren Migaki

Clare Marie Schneider

It's the wild card of every big event — the toast.

It could be the drunk groomsman at a wedding or the rambling colleague at the retirement party or, perhaps, it's the friend who brings up politics or religion when they've been explicitly asked not to.

For stand-up comedian Atsuko Okatsuka , it was her father-in-law at her wedding. "And then he suddenly goes, I see there's a big Asian contingency here." The moment he brought up race, everyone went quiet.

"It's like a kid when they're playing I Spy, you know?" she says. "That's what he did. 'I spy Asians'."

"Then he tried to save himself. He went, 'and I love the Asians!'"

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This story comes from Life Kit , NPR's podcast to help make life better — covering everything from exercise to raising kids to making friends. For more, sign up for the newsletter and follow @NPRLifeKit on Twitter .

It's a memorable toast – but maybe not in the way Okatsuka had hoped.

If you've been asked, or volunteered yourself, to give a toast, we've got some handy tips to make sure people remember your speech with fondness – not horror.

Start with T-O-A-S-T, a helpful acronym from author and award-winning speaker Ramona J. Smith , plus a couple of helpful additions:

T — Tell a story

There's a simple formula to a good toast: Introduce yourself, tell a story, connect that story to the event and wrap it up (time to hit the dance floor!) The biggest challenge is choosing the right story for the occasion and audience.

Every family has stories to tell. Here's how to document yours

Journalist Clare Roth , who has been to 36 weddings, says recording memories on voice memos was particularly helpful. For the occasion, she landed on this sweet and short story:

"There's an anecdote in my mother's diary from when I was three months old, where she heard my sister shout, 'I can't carry you anymore, baby!' And she came out and she was holding me by my skull and I had twigs and leaves in my hair because apparently she had dropped me a few times already. ... It's just so demonstrative of how she will charge ahead, but she wants you to be right there with her. ... And that's why she's going to be such an amazing wife."

Roth says this anecdote worked for the occasion, because it was not only "demonstrative of the relationship that my sister and I had but also related to how she would be as a partner."

Once you share an intimate but relatable anecdote, you can close with a lighthearted joke or offer your best wishes.

O — Optimism is key

How to tell a captivating story — from a wedding toast to a job interview

"Don't give a sad story and leave everyone crying, especially if it's at a beautiful wedding or at a baby shower or somewhere where the mood is already festive," says Smith.

Smith is the 2018 winner of the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking. The opening of her award-winning speech was bleak — it highlighted her personal and professional failures. But with humor and optimism, she continued discussing how those experiences have failed to knock her down – by the end of her speech, the audience was singing along with her to Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

Smith compares her craft of speech writing to spicy chicken wings – "Just dip [the audience] in the hot sauce for a little bit and then we gonna cool off with the ranch."

A — Authenticity and vulnerability are better than humor

Dan Perlman is a stand-up comedian, but when it comes to making toasts, " the more successful toasts I've given have been ones where I was vulnerable," he says.

When he spoke at his childhood friend's wedding this summer, he shared an anecdote about them playing basketball and growing up together. Perlman did manage to find an opportunity for some subtle teasing — but remember, it's a toast, not a roast!

S — Speeches require practice

Try reading your speech aloud before you give it live. Even consider sharing it with a trusted friend or family member to look it over.

If you have stage fright, standup comedian Okatsuka has a tip for that: tell yourself that you aren't nervous but rather, too excited. " So instead of shaking from the nerves or feeling a pit in your stomach from the nerves, it turns into butterflies from excitement," she says.

Want To Listen Better? Turn Down Your Thoughts And Tune In To Others

While you're delivering your speech, find an audience wingperson. "Focus on people in the audience who are paying attention and are giving good energy," says Perlman.

You could even ask a friend ahead of time to be this person for you!

And if you get thrown off track while speaking, don't forget: "You're allowed to stop and think. You're allowed to pause and breathe," says Ana Silva.

Silva, who teaches and performs improv, also points out that there are certain elements you cannot control when giving a toast. Just as stand-up comedy has hecklers, wedding toasts have drunk audiences.

"If it's something that is disrespectful in a rude way, I think shutting it down immediately is fantastic," she says. "If it's someone who's just really excited and wants to be part of it. I think a light touch is fine. ... 'I'm so glad cousin Susie is in on this. Let me keep going, Susie.'"

Silva also says that if you're in the audience, you have a role to play as well. " It's all about supporting the people around you." Remember to be generous with your attention, laughter, and applause.

T — Timing. Shorter is better

"I've never been annoyed that a toast is too short," says Perlman, who recommends keeping it between 90 seconds to two minutes.

Wedding enthusiast Roth suggests a range of two to three minutes. "No one is going to get angry about being able to drink their champagne sooner, " she says.

Point is, we all have short attention spans. When you practice reading your speech aloud, make sure that you time yourself.

Never drink before a toast

You don't have to drink to celebrate the holiday season

6 Ways To Take A Break From Drinking

If there is one guaranteed way to ensure that you do not bomb this toast, it's this piece of wisdom from Smith: "Never drink alcohol before you give a speech," she says. "You don't want to slur. You don't want to come off as sloppy."

Drinking can also make you prone to rambling on too long, or throwing in an inappropriate, unnecessary joke, so it's best to avoid it altogether.

Don't wait for the perfect occasion

Toasts are a way to tell people you love them. And Roth says, we don't do that enough. "More toasts please!" she says. "It is wonderful to say the quiet part out loud, when the quiet part is... the love you have for your friends and family. Let's bring toasts back in fashion."

The podcast portion of this story was produced by Clare Marie Schneider. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

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How to Give a Toast

Last Updated: April 4, 2021 References

This article was co-authored by Deb DiSandro . Deb DiSandro is the Owner of Speak Up On Purpose, an organization dedicated to improving and teaching public speaking. Deb has over 30 years of experience as a national speaker and has presented at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Conference and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. She was awarded the National Speakers Association Member of the Year 2007 and has been published in Writer's Digest, Daily Herald, Women's Day, and Better Homes & Gardens. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 163,297 times.

A “toast” is a short speech given in honor of a particular person, group of people, or event. Toasts emphasize the positive and provide another way for everyone to celebrate. To give a great toast spend some time getting to know the subject or person you’re toasting. Your toast should revolve around a central story that is very relatable and appropriate. Conclude by raising your glass and offering your best wishes and thanks to everyone involved.

Getting All of the Details

• You can also express your reservations to the toastee if you would like to participate but are too nervous to do so. Just because you are asked to give a toast does not mean you have to, especially if you suffer from social anxiety. [1] X Research source

• Rehearsal dinner toasts are usually informal with the hosts generally addressing everyone followed by anyone else who wishes to jump in. At a wedding, the best man and maid of honor offer the first toasts followed by the bride and groom. The parents then have a chance followed by any of the guests. [2] X Research source
• At a casual dinner party it is best to wait until the dinner or first course plates are collected before you offer a toast. [3] X Research source

• If you are really worried, run your toast by the bride or groom to gauge their reaction and ask for feedback.
• It is hard to establish a clear line for lewd humor, but most people find discussing sex or the wedding night to be in poor taste. [6] X Research source

Avoiding Common Mistakes

• Practicing will also help you to learn to moderate the volume of your voice. Nothing is worse than a mumbled or inaudible toast. [9] X Research source

• If necessary, you can use note cards while giving the toast. Remember to look up and make eye contact with the audience, though!

• Instead of saying, “I don’t know Jerry very well, but here goes nothing,” you might try, “Those times when Jerry and I can hang out are action-packed and adventure-filled.”

• However, it is acceptable to share an inside story, as long as it portrays the person you are toasting in a positive way. Just be sure to explain enough so that everyone understands the joke.

Creating Your Toast

• The old practice of tapping your glass with a knife has now gone by the wayside. A series of glass-tapping toasts can quickly get annoying at a big event. Instead, get attention with a confident voice and consistent eye contact. [15] X Research source Use a microphone, if one is available.

• Make your first few lines about the toastee, not you. Avoid using, “I” or “me/my,” to keep your focus, and that of your audience, on the person or persons of the hour. [17] X Research source

• You might say, "I'm the groom's brother and football-watching buddy."

• For example, you might tell the story about the time that you and your brother (the groom) backpacked through Europe.
• Or, share a story about the person you are toasting and other family members or friends that are in attendance to keep the focus off of yourself.

• Leave out all mentions of exes, especially in a wedding toast. No one wants to listen to a story about a prior relationship when they are trying to celebrate a new one. [22] X Research source
• Omit all negative jokes or jabs about the state of marriage. These remarks are generally cliché and bring the mood of the party down as well. [23] X Research source

• A solid concluding line for a wedding toast is always, ““Ladies and gentlemen, to the couple.” [27] X Research source

Expert Q&A

• A toast doesn’t have to be limited to just one person. For example, if an entire group worked on a particular project, feel free to toast the team as a whole. [28] X Research source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• You can hold your glass up at chest height throughout your toast or simply lift it at the end. You can also fill your glass with any beverage that you like, it doesn’t have to be champagne or even alcohol. [29] X Research source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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• ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2015/10/28/5-tips-for-giving-a-wedding-toast-skip-the-inside-jokes-and-no-roasting/
• ↑ http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/225978/reception-toasts
• ↑ http://www.chatelaine.com/living/eight-tips-for-making-a-memorable-toast/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/askmen/giving-a-quality-wedding-_b_5266891.html
• ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/fashion/the-art-of-the-wedding-toast.html
• ↑ http://www.fluentin3months.com/cheers/
• ↑ http://jezebel.com/5836624/how-to-give-a-great-wedding-toast
• ↑ http://www.reuters.com/article/us-etiquette-toasting-idUSBRE89L0N320121022
• ↑ https://www.themuse.com/advice/holiday-cheers-how-to-give-the-perfect-toast
• ↑ http://www.esquire.com/food-drink/drinks/a12416/how-to-give-a-toast-0212/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-van-edwards/how-to-give-and-awesome-t_b_8105666.html
• ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2015/09/how-to-give-an-awesome-toast/
• ↑ http://www.cookinglight.com/entertaining/holidays-occasions/how-to-give-toast
• ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/220682

About this article

To give a toast, start by standing up, introducing yourself, and explaining your relationship with the toastee. Then, share a brief story or 2 about you and the toastee and let them know how happy you are for them. Avoid any embarrassing or lewd comments, and try to keep your toast light-hearted and positive. Also, don't be afraid to interact with the audience to make them feel included. After a few minutes, wrap up your toast by thanking everyone and then raising your glass. If you want to learn how to practice and write your toast beforehand, keep reading the article! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Mastering the art of how to give a toast, how to give a toast like a pro, what are the essential elements of a good toast.

The essential elements of a good toast include a clear and concise message, a personal touch or story, a positive and uplifting tone, eye contact with the audience, and a heartfelt toast to the honoree. Adding humor or a memorable quote can also enhance the impact of a toast.

The key elements of a good toast include a clear and concise message. A good toast should have a central theme or idea that is easy for the audience to understand and relate to. It should be heartfelt and genuine, expressing sincere emotions and appreciation towards the person or occasion being toasted.

Another important element is personalization. A good toast should be tailored to the individual or group being honored. Including personal anecdotes, inside jokes, or specific memories can make the toast more meaningful and memorable for both the honoree and the audience.

Timing and delivery are also crucial. A good toast should be well-timed, neither too short nor too long, in order to ensure that everyone is having a good time. It should be engaging and delivered with confidence and enthusiasm. Using appropriate gestures, maintaining eye contact, and varying the tone and pace of speech can help captivate the audience and keep their attention throughout the toast.

In addition, a good toast should be positive and uplifting. It should focus on celebrating the achievements, qualities, or milestones of the person or occasion being toasted. Avoiding negative or controversial topics ensures that the toast remains enjoyable and respectful to everyone present.

Lastly, a good toast should end on a high note. It should leave the audience feeling inspired, happy, or touched. A memorable closing line or a heartfelt toast to the future can leave a lasting impression and make the toast truly exceptional.

Toast: Short Speech Writing Guide: How to Give a Toast

“Can you just say a few words?”

That invitation can strike fear among people who are asked to give a toast at a wedding, to present an award, to congratulate someone on a promotion, to remember a colleague retiring after 25 years.

Yet it doesn’t have to.

Who is this speechwriting guide for?

This is for anyone giving a short speech whose purpose is to honor someone else.

It’s for all those speeches that mean something, that aren’t televised, that are there to honor the great works and deed others have done in their lives.

Awards Speeches

You’re part of an organization that gives out awards each year and this year you get to present one of them! Figure out what to say that’s short, sweet, and meaningful.

Wedding Speeches: Best Man Speeches, Maid of Honor Speeches, Father and Mother of the Bride Speeches

Your best friend is getting married and you get to give a toast. Guidance for best men, maids of honor, father and mother of the bride—anyone who needs to wish the happy couple well.

A colleague is getting promoted and you want to talk about their achievements and efforts with some good natured fun thrown in.

Retirement Speeches

How do you say goodbye to the key employee who has worked for you for the last 20 years?

What do you say at your own retirement?

Is your mentor or parent retiring and you want to toast them?

Birthday party toasts and anniversary speeches

What about the people who are a really big deal in our lives? What do you say to them on their important days? What would you say at your parents’ 50th wedding anniversary? What about your spouse’s 40th birthday?

Any occasion where you have to “say a few words”

I probably missed a few speech categories above, but any time that you need to give a speech that honors another person, this guide is your guide.

What will be included in this guide to short speeches:

• A brief overview of the various parts of any toast. I break down the typical toast or honor speech for any occasion.
• A step-by-step process to get your speech written. I use the same method when writing for others and you can complete a first draft in the span of a week or any set of seven days spread out over time.
• Real short speeches given by real people. I’ve scoured the internet and my resources to find examples of toasts and other short speeches that you can use as models. All are modern speeches that real people gave. Use them as inspiration for turns of phrases and overall organization to help you plan your words.
• Advice for specific types of short speeches. A wedding toast and an awards speech aren’t the same but share tons of similarities. You’ll learn what each type of speech requires given its occasion. Use this section to avoid faux pas.

Where to start with any short speech

Speakers tend to have two problems when it comes to giving short speeches:

They tell me two things:

First: I can’t think of anything to say

Second: I have too much to say, there’s no way I’ll fit it all in

What to do?

Let’s tackle each one, starting with the first.

But, before we do, let’s begin with Step 1–it’s helpful to have a doc open or a set of notes as you go through this guide.

Step 1: Know your time limits, word count, and any other pertinent details for your speech.

We speak around 135 to 150 words per minute. But when it comes to giving a speech, you want to give yourself extra time to take it slow, to allow for applause and laughter. I’d suggest 100-115 words per minute to gauge how much you need to prepare.

For a 3 minute toast: 300-345 words

For a 5 minute toast: 500 words to 575

For a 10 minute toast: 1000 words to 1150 words

I wouldn’t go beyond 10 minutes for any ceremonial speech–err on the side of brevity.

Find out also when you are expected to give your speech during the event. If you are going early, you can err on the side of being a bit longer than expected. If you are one of the last to speak, keep it as short as possible.

Step 2: Know the key sections you’ll want to think about for your toast:

Many toasts and short speeches have the same sections to them but not always in the order below. You can mix and match as needed.

Acknowledgments and Thank yous:

Depending on the formality of the event, you have to thank certain people who put the event together or who are so important that they deserve to be recognized. Word of caution: Do not go overboard in this portion and make the whole speech one long list of thank-yous.

Stories will make up the bulk of your toast—they are the perfect vehicle to demonstrate change throughout the speech. It’s where you can talk about the deeds of the person you’re honoring or the significance of the event.

You’ll find sections of advice in many toasts—the person giving the toast often has words of wisdom for the happy couple during a wedding toast or sage advice to those just starting on their careers during the speaker’s own retirement speech. This is where you can take the lessons of change you’ve experienced and give them to the audience or the people who are a part of your toast, with advance notice or in the spur of the moment. So, don’t forget to include your best wishes for the future in your toast, as it adds a heartfelt touch to your words of wisdom.

Significance of the event:

Sometimes the event itself is important enough that it should be mentioned and featured in your toast (other times, you may just need a few sentences).

Opening and Closing:

Any speech will have a captivating opening and closing, and toasts are no different. The best ones will have openings and closings that relate to one another; oftentimes, the closing can even contain a special 1-2 line mini-toast that sums up the speech itself. Additionally, it is important to propose a toast at the appropriate time during a dinner party, typically at the beginning of the meal or just before dessert. We’ll work on specific techniques later on in this guide to craft closings that will be remembered long after the main speech concludes.

Here are some questions to get you started, we’ll dive into the specifics momentarily:

• Are there any VIPs in the audience that you must acknowledge or thank? Keep this list very short and go with the ones who are most important or whose egos will be hurt if you don’t mention them. If it’s too many, can you generalize the group (“Honored guests,”)?
• If you are honoring a person, what makes them so incredible and great? Why are they being honored at this event? What have they done that has impressed you? What have you learned from them? What moments of greatness stick out in your mind? What stories can you tell around each answer?
• What is the significance of the event you’ll be speaking at? Is it an eternal one like marriage? What is the history of the event? Why did the group start? What are they doing today that is so impactful?
• Is it appropriate to give advice at an event like this? If a couple is getting married, what advice do you have for them? If someone is retiring or being promoted, what advice can you give to others in the room that want to live up to that person’s example?
• Are there particular quotes or sayings that you think could work at the beginning or end of the toast? Have people heard these before or will they be fresh? Are they unique to the occasion?
• What movie did you see recently (or book you read) that showed a dramatic change in its characters? Did you read or watch anything recently that seemed to fall flat? Can you pinpoint a lack of change in the characters as the reason?

Step 3: Brainstorm your speech ideas: What to do when you can’t think of anything to say in your speech

The best place to start are the dual goals of any ceremonial speech: You want to honor the person and honor the event.

From a wedding toast to a retirement speech to an anniversary celebration, the goals are the same.

You want to honor a person or a couple and the event itself.

Great toasts and short speeches revolve around telling great stories about the person you’re honoring. Ideally you want a mix of funny and touching stories to tell.

Brainstorming ideas for wedding toasts , birthday speeches, and anniversary speeches:

• Anything you want to say to the close family and friends who will be in attendance?
• Growing up together, I could tell that they would grow into a great person because…
• One moment that most impressed me was when…
• He/She was really there for me when…
• My favorite memory of them was when…
• One story that really demonstrates is when…
• When I first met him/her…
• I am grateful that they are in my life because one time…
• He/she got me out of a tough situation when…
• I can never forget the time when…
• Advice I can give the couple is…
• A time that he/she made me laugh was when…
• What are the person’s greatest character values? What makes them such an excellent match for the other?
• How did the two meet? Were you instrumental in making it happen? How did it happen?
• When did you know the couple found the right person in the other?
• What are the bride or groom’s favorite books, movies, or songs?
• How do the two or one person spend their time? What do their hobbies say about them?
• Do either have a particular set of quirks that are endearing yet not too embarrassing?

Brainstorming ideas for retirement speeches:

• What do you admire about the person retiring?
• What lessons have they taught you?
• How have you changed professionally and personally from watching this person work?
• If you’ve watched them for some time, how have they changed for the better?
• What are your most memorable stories?
• Do they have any odd quirks that aren’t too embarrassing?
• How is the organization better for having this person? How has the organization or department changed in this person’s stead? :

Brainstorming ideas for awards speeches:

Key questions:

• What obstacles did you encounter before the accomplishment that this award has recognized?
• Who helped you along the way? Who mentored you? What did your family give up or sacrifice to help you get here?
• What advice do you have for the next generation after you?
• Is there anything special about the award, the event, or the occasion, that you can remark upon?
• Did you lead a team that helped create the success behind the award? What do you want to say to them?
• When you are giving an award to someone else…
• Structure: Great deeds, how do they live/do their work?, lessons/advice/legacy
• What impressed you the most about this person? Why are they the right choice for the award?
• Have they undertaken any projects or ideas that have gone under the radar? Can you recognize those as well?
• How has this person changed from their beginning to now with the award?
• Is there a call to action for this organization or award’s greater purpose?

Step 4: Organize your short speech

Now that you’ve generated plenty of ideas, you’ll want to determine a structure for your toast.

Details the most common ways you’ll see someone give a toast. The first is advice-based, followed by story-based, and then third, the extended metaphor. See how each one fits the toast you want to give based on the occasion. You can also mix and match the forms as you see fit, including incorporating a good toast by telling a story that connects to the event and wraps up your speech about a particular person, group of people, or event.

Advice Based:

Speeches that are advice-based organize themselves around bits of wisdom or principles. The best example is from the Retirement Manifesto . Here, the speaker uses his retirement to give life advice to those in the audience.

Each piece of advice is followed up by a short story, quote, or something else.

How to adopt this form:

Come up with three to seven principles that you strive to live your life by. Avoid cliches when possible (“live life to its fullest,” “savor every moment,”); instead, think of what you would say if someone asked for life advice over a cup of coffee. What would you tell them?

Another great source for inspiration is Dr. Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture,” where he gave all the lessons in his life knowing that he had a terminal illness. Do an internet search to find its recording and subsequent book. It’s worth watching multiple times.

Once you have the lessons figured out, find a way to creatively tell each lesson. Most people opt for anecdotes but if you have an interesting bit of research or a shocking number, use those sparingly to break it up.

You can also go the opposite way—think of memorable moments from your life, ones that made you who you are today—ones that changed you (back to the Hero’s Journey). What lessons can you draw from those moments? You can either lead with those moments as a story or headline the section and tell the story after.

Each piece of advice is the headline for the section with the content that follows illuminating the advice. You can also go the opposite way and tell a story and conclude the lesson from it.

Each lesson doesn’t need to be the same length—for some, you’ll have more to say than others and that’s OK.

Why 3-7? It’s a starting point and there’s no real rhyme or reason. Three because many speeches are organized around threes. Seven is an upper limit to help keep the speech on the shorter side. Go with what feels right to you.

When it’s appropriate:

You’ll find advice-based speeches most often at retirements, promotions, birthday parties, and occasionally weddings. Usually the person giving the advice is much wiser, experienced, or older, than the people listening.

For example, a father of the bride may be giving marriage advice to the new couple. Or a fire chief is giving advice to a room of candidates upon their graduation from training. Or someone is celebrating 50 years on this earth and wants to give advice to those a bit younger in the audience.

Story Based:

Story-based speeches lead with a story rather than a set of lessons. Sometimes they blend with the advice version but not all stories are told as moral warnings. Some are told to show someone’s great character or a touching moment.

How to do this form:

Story-based speeches can be a series of vignettes or they can be one long complete story. Think first about the values and character of the person you’re honoring and find the stories that demonstrate those. You might have a few stories or one really good one.

Steve Jobs’ Stanford commencement address is a great example of the form–he tells three stories and makes a connection between each one.

When they’re appropriate:

Almost always. This is the most popular way of giving a toast where you talk about the great stories of a person and use those to help make your point.

However, you’ll find them most often in wedding toasts where you get to hear great stories of the groom and bride. Other times, when honoring someone at their retirement or birthday party, you’ll want to tell stories that illuminate their best qualities.

How do you tell the difference between story-based and advice-based? Aren’t they two sides of the same coin?

Yes, they can be. As you’ll notice in the retirement speech, it’s advice and story driven. That’s fine. The goal in making the distinction is that you won’t always have advice to give after a story or the point of the story may be for laughter or sentimentality. You can end a story with lessons that you learned or what impressed you the most about it, but you just don’t have to. Plus, you probably won’t headline a story with its advice and values, “Now let me tell you about the time when John showed courage.” Let the story imply what was shown and draw the details after.

These structures aren’t rigid and can be mixed and matched.

Thank you based:

Someone out there wrote some speech advice that’s mostly correct: Don’t fill the opening of a speech with thank-yous nor the whole thing. That’s almost right.

A thank-you based speech, when done correctly, can work. Instead of headlining each section with advice as seen above, come up with whom you are thankful for and why. Use each person or group as a headline.

Within each one, give words of thanks, tell short stories, and use that as an opportunity to thank them.

When appropriate:

You’ll find this type of speech most appropriate when you are the center of attention for an award or other occasion where many people helped you get to the big day.

You’re receiving an award; you are graduating at the top of your class; you are celebrating a birthday surrounded by friends and family and they all had an impact on you.

Extended Metaphor:

This is the trickiest to pull off but it can be powerful when done correctly. Take a look at this award acceptance speech from Audra Lawlor at Girl Meets Dirt . It doesn’t fit neatly into any of the categories above, but look at how it’s giving lessons and telling a story all at once.

Can you mix and match?

Yes, and that’s what makes each toast unique. In the body of your toast, you can have a part where you tell great stories about the person you’re honoring and then offer a few words of advice to the crowd.

You can thank specific people who helped you achieve a certain goal but then provide advice to the rest of the crowd.

Key takeaways:

• The body of your speech is where you get to tell stories, give advice, and give specific thank-yous to meaningful people in your life.
• You can choose to headline the sections with advice, story themes, or thank-yous or go the more subtle route, lead with a story, and then conclude with the takeaways you want for your audience.
• Many find it much easier to write the body of a speech first and then later worry about the opening and closing that will act as bookends on the speech. If you’re stuck here, go onto the next section and try the opening and closing parts and come back to the body.

Step 5: Editing–What if my speech is too long?

As promised, here’s how to edit your speech down if you feel that you have too much to say or you are way over in your allotted time and word count.

First, determine the funniest story and the most sentimental story–just tell those two as part of the story section in your speech. You ideally want both to balance each out–plus, sometimes a funny story is taken seriously by the audience and it just becomes sentimental.

Second, cut down any acknowledgments or thank-yous or cut the section entirely. You can make one or two acknowledgments if there’s a VIP in the room (like your CEO or the bride’s father) but cut out the number of people you are thanking.

Third, leave only the essential details in the story you’re telling. If there are extraneous characters that don’t matter much to the plot, take them out. Think of each story like a movie trailer–only add in the absolutely necessary details and let the audience fill in the rest.

Understanding the Importance of Preparation

You’ve heard the saying, right? “By failing to prepare, you’re preparing to fail.” Well, there’s a good reason why it’s become such a well-known phrase. The concept holds true, particularly when you’re about to give a toast. Preparation is not merely a task to check off the list; it’s an essential step that frames the success of your toast. Let’s dive into why that is.

Firstly, thorough preparation can boost your confidence. By taking the time to write, review, and rehearse your speech, you become familiar with the ins and outs of your message. You understand the sequence of your thoughts, the balance of humor, and solemnity. You even prepare for possible reactions from your audience.

Especially when you are nervous, being prepared can act as an anchor, providing you with a sense of certainty and control. Wouldn’t it be comforting to know exactly where you’re taking your audience on this small journey of a toast?

Preparation also enables you to master the technical aspects of your toast. It gives you time to adjust the length of your speech fitting into the event’s schedule or structure the content for clarity and impact. It allows you to anticipate interruptions, manage contingencies, and execute impeccable timing. In simple words, preparation puts you in control of your toast.

Also, while spontaneity has its charm, a toast is not an ideal opportunity for winging it. Wit and eloquence are often born from well-crafted preparation, and, let’s face it, the risk failing in front of a crowd isn’t precisely appealing, is it?

Lastly, by investing time in preparation, you’re also showing respect to your audience. It demonstrates that you value their time and attention, that you wanted to offer them a well-thought-out message, rather than a hastily conjured jumble of words. In a sense, a perfectly prepared toast is a gift, wrapped up in your goodwill and best intentions.

Crafting the Perfect Opening Line

You’re standing in front of an expectant crowd, your heart is pounding, but it’s your moment to shine. How do you capture their attention from your very first word? That’s where the importance of the perfect opening line comes into play. But where do you start?

Getting it right isn’t rocket science, but it’s indeed an art—a mixture of wit, sensitivity, timing, and just the right measure of confidence. If crafted right, the opening line will set the tone, engage your audience, and smoothly transition them into the body of your toast.

Top tip: Start by building a connection. Ask yourself, how can you bring everyone into a shared moment? A good starting point is to introduce yourself, especially when not everyone knows who you are. Yet, be brief—you’re not the focus, remember?

Setting the Right Tone for Your Toast

Let’s talk about tone, shall we? The tone of your toast can make or break the whole event. It’s that instrumental part of your speech that sets the atmosphere, guides the audience’s emotions, and helps to deliver your message as intended.

Now you might wonder, how do you actually set a tone? Well, it all begins with understanding the event and its purpose. Is it a joyous wedding celebration? Or an in-depth tribute to an accomplished colleague’s career? Or perhaps a bittersweet farewell to a beloved friend moving afar? Once you’ve got the event’s rhythm, you’re halfway there to setting the appropriate tone.

Humor? Of course, it’s a wonderful ice-breaker! But humor must align with the event’s spirit and the audience’s expectations. Be sensitive to the cultural, age, and background diversities of the attendees. The best toasts are those that can connect universally, yet feel extraordinarily personal to everyone listening.

But what if the occasion is serious? No problem! A serious tone can be exceptionally powerful if handled well. Your speech doesn’t have to be a monotone eulogy. Try to break up the solemn atmosphere with moments of levity, anecdotes that light up faces, or sprinkle a little light-hearted wisdom now and then. The key is balance, reminding us all that even in moments of grief or solemnity, life remains full of love, hope, and unexpected joys.

Now, a bit of caution, please. While setting the tone, you must stay genuine. Remember? Emotions are contagious. If you’re not feeling it, neither will your audience. So, engage from a place of empathy and authenticity; let your feelings guide your words.

Confused about how to blend it all? Let’s resort to an old friend – practice . Practice your speech as much as you can until you find the ‘tone’ that feels right.

In the end, whether your toast is humorous, heartfelt, solemn, or celebratory, the tone should echo the event’s spirit, resonate with the audience’s emotions, and most importantly be authentic to you. Remember, there’s no ‘one size fits all’ strategy for giving good toasts. Your tone is unique to you, your relationship with the honoree, and the occasion itself. Master this, and you’re one step closer to giving a toast that’s hard to forget.

Telling a Compelling Story or Anecdote

Ever wondered why we remember stories better than mere facts or figures? It’s because stories engage our emotions and ignite our imaginations, allowing us to visualize and connect with what’s being said. So, what about making your toast a story worth remembering?

The first thing to do? Find the heartfelt or memorable moments that have left an imprint. Maybe it was a shared experience, a humorous incidence, or a turning point in the life of the person or persons being toasted. These moments don’t necessarily have to be monumental. Sometimes, it’s the little things that resonate most, the ones that capture a person’s character or the essence of a shared relationship. Telling a compelling story is a great way to express sincere affection and gratitude for the person being toasted.

Once you’ve chosen your story, craft it effectively. Remember, every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning should hook your listeners, setting up the story you’re about to tell with a simple formula. This could be based on the context of the toast, an interesting snippet about the person, or a quote that encapsulates the mood or theme of your story. The middle is where you detail the incident, capturing the meaningful aspects in vivid, engaging detail. Finally, bring it all home with a heartfelt end that connects the story back to the reason for the toast.

But what if you’re not a born storyteller? Don’t worry; we all have it in us to tell compelling tales. Here’s a simple structure to guide you:

• Set the scene: Start by describing the setting, time, place, and the people involved to draw your listeners in.
• Present the event: What happened? Include enough detail to make it real, but not too much to bore your audience.
• Show the impact: How did the event affect you or the person you’re toasting? This helps to make your story relatable and showcases the depth of your shared experiences.
• Wrap it up: Integrate the story into the context of the toast by adding a comment or moral at the end that encompasses why this story resonates.

One crucial aspect to remember is to keep your story authentic. Being true to the experiences and the personalities involved makes your toast genuine and impactful. In the end, you won’t just be telling a story; you’ll be creating a beautiful memory that people can carry with them. Now, who wouldn’t raise a toast to that? Remember, this is a toast, not a roast, so keep the humor light and appropriate.

Using Humor to Connect with Your Audience

When you’re trying to make a memorable toast, humor can be an incredibly powerful tool. A well-placed joke or a funny anecdote can lighten the mood, disarm your audience, and make you more relatable. Who doesn’t love a good laugh, right?

Let’s get this straight, though. When I talk about humor, I don’t mean you need to transform into a stand-up comedian. No, you just need to share a funny, amusing moment, maybe an inside joke that everyone in the room can relate to or a light-hearted story that puts a smile on their faces.

But how do you do this effectively?

• Understand Your Audience: The first step in using humor in your toast is understanding your audience. What makes them laugh? What kind of humor do they appreciate? Remember, what’s funny to one group may not necessarily be funny to another.
• Timing is Essential: Just like comedic performances, timing in humor is everything when giving a toast. A well-timed punchline can transform a simple narrative into an unforgettable piece of humor.
• Be Authentic: Authenticity breeds connection. Try to share personal humorous stories or jokes that you find funny. Your sincere laughter can be infectious and could lead to a shared moment of mirth with your audience.
• Less is More: A brief touch of humor in your toast can work wonders. You don’t have to overload your script with jokes. Instead, let the levity arise naturally from the story or the situation.

Importantly, always remember to stay respectful and understanding. Humor should be an instrument of unity, not division. Avoid controversial, offensive, or polarizing jokes. Keep it light, keep it fun, and most importantly—keep it ‘you’!

To conclude, humor can be a powerful tool when toastmastering. It can connect you with your audience, enlighten the atmosphere, and make your speech memorable. It may require a bit of practice, and you might not get it right the first time. But don’t worry. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Remember, each time you give a toast, it’s a learning experience, and with each stroke, you’re painting a masterpiece of your journey as a public speaker. So, shall we raise a glass to humor in toasts?

Adding Personal Touches to Your Toast

Being personal is the lifeblood of any good toast. It’s not just about sharing information or entertaining the audience; it’s about forming a connection, a bond that links your words to the hearts of those present. So, how do you achieve this touch of personalization, and with finesse at that?

First off, be authentic. There’s something incredibly powerful about being genuine – it’s appealing, relatable and simply hard to dislike. When you’re delivering your toast, speak from the heart. Share personal anecdotes, bring out genuine emotions and do so with sincerity. Remember, the audience can feel your authenticity, and it acts as a magnet, drawing them into your message.

Remember: “Speak genuinely, and your words will hold a charm only the truth can lend.”

Next, relate to your audience. You’re giving a toast, not a lecture. Therefore, the people in the room aren’t just passive receivers; they are part of your conversation. Mention mutual experiences, speak in terms familiar to the group, and use ‘we’ instead of ‘I.’ Relating in your toast ensures that your points resonate with the audience and holds their attention more effectively. And once you’ve connected with the audience, it’s time to hit the dance floor and celebrate together.

Lastly, incorporate elements of surprise. This might be an interesting fact about the person you’re toasting, a behind-the-scenes story, or a perspective that other people haven’t heard before. A touch of surprise not only keeps the audience engaged but adds that intrigue that makes your toast memorable.

Quick Recap:

• Be Authentic: Speak from the heart, lets your sincerity shine through.
• Relate to your Audience: Use mutual experiences and inclusive pronouns.
• Incorporate Elements of Surprise: An unexpected fact or story adds intrigue.

By sprinkling these personal touches throughout your toast, you’re not just speaking, you’re captivating, and you’re not just being heard, but truly felt. And isn’t that the essence of a good toast?

Including Meaningful Quotes or Poetry

There’s something profoundly powerful about a right quote or a nugget of poetry in a toast. They have a way of embedding deep wisdom in a few lines, aren’t they? But you might be wondering, how do you incorporate them into your toast? Do you worry if quotes might overshadow your original thoughts? No worries, we’re going to delve into that together.

First off, ensure that any quote or poem you want to use is spot-on and serves a purpose. Relevance is key . Is there a favorite quote of the person you’re toasting? Does a particular piece of poetry reflect the essence of the occasion? Use these questions as a guide.

Perhaps, you’re afraid that a borrowed wisdom might steal the show, leaving your original thoughts in the shade. Well, it’s not about stealing the limelight, but rather about illuminating the theme of your toast. It’s okay if a quote steals the show for a moment; after all, you’re the director, aren’t you?

“You don’t have to write everything from scratch, even light is borrowed.” – Anonymous

See what we did there? Quotes can provide a poignant pause, a moment of reflection in the bustling toast-party. And if you weave it seamlessly into your narrative, it actually lends more depth to your message.

Honestly, incorporating poetry can be a bit tricky, especially if it’s lengthy. But here’s a tip – use excerpts that are punchy and hit home. Avoid long poems unless you’re confident you can keep your audience enthralled. Always remember, you’re not reciting poetry for a literature class, but giving a toast.

Lastly, before including a quote or poem, make sure you attribute it to the rightful author. It’s a sign of respect and authenticity. Not to forget, it saves you from committing a social faux pas!

So, are you starting to see how meaningful quotes or poetry can add an extra layer of sophistication to your toast? As the cherry tops the cake, a well-placed quote or verse could be that special something to uplift your toast from good to extraordinary. But remember, the quote or poetry is not the star of the show – you are, and the people you’re toasting to!

Structuring Your Toast for Maximum Impact

Structuring the perfect toast isn’t as simple as throwing together a few words and hoping for the best. It requires careful planning and a clear understanding of the various elements that make a good toast. You see, the structure of your toast, or how it’s arranged, plays a crucial role in delivering your message effectively, leaving an impact and capturing the heart of your audience. Let’s dive into some actionable steps you can take to go about this.

Firstly, you have to start with a bang . Remember the old adage: first impressions matter. Your opening line should be engaging enough to grab your audience’s attention and interesting enough to keep it. A great quote, a short anecdote, or a surprising fact can do wonders by providing a readymade hook.

After your captivating opening, navigate to the body of the toast . Here is the place to insert the bulk of your message, whether it’s a heartfelt sentiment, a shared memory, or an inspiring quote. Just remember to keep it concise, relevant, and compelling. A good rule of thumb is to include only elements that contribute to the main theme of your toast.

Finally, nail your toast with a memorable conclusion. Your final sentence should be powerful and resonate long after you’ve returned to your seat. Endings which tie back to the beginning often have maximum impact and create a satisfying sense of closure. And of course, don’t forget to raise your glass, propose the toast, and take a sip at the end.

K.I.S.S. – Keep It Short and Simple – My personal mantra for a well-structured toast. Delivering a concise, well-organized toast can be more effective in getting your message across than a lengthy, disorganized one. Remember, you’re aiming for quality over quantity.

Now, the question might arise, how can you ensure that your toast follows this structure? One effective approach is to write an outline beforehand. Think of it as a blueprint for your toast. This will not only provide a visual representation of your toast’s structure but also helps you stay on track, preventing you from veering off-topic.

In conclusion, structuring your toast effectively is integral to delivering a successful toast. With a strong opening, a compelling body, and a memorable conclusion, you’ll be well on your way to crafting a toast that leaves a lasting impression.

Using Body Language to Enhance Your Toast

Have you ever watched a public speaker who just seemed to captivate the room with their presence? Chances are, that wasn’t just the subject matter of their speech – much of it likely had to do with their body language. Sure, words matter, but what can make them truly spellbinding is how they’re delivered. That’s right, the way you stand, move, and gesticulate during your toast can significantly enhance its overall effect. So, how do we go about this you might wonder?

Firstly, you’ve got to understand that body language is a means of communication. Subtle changes in your posture, gestures, or facial expressions can send a powerful message. And just like language itself, body language can be fluent and impactful if practiced and understood. So, let’s decode this language of the body, right?

Mastering your Posture

Consider this: you’re about to give a toast, and you slump into the microphone, feet shuffling, shoulders hunched. Do you think the audience would be convinced of your confidence or engaged in your speech? Probably not. A strong, upright, and relaxed posture not only enhances your voice projection but also conveys a sense of confidence. Remember, you’ve got to own the room!

Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. This stance provides a stable base, makes you appear grounded, and prevents unnecessary swaying. Keep your spine straight, but don’t become a rigid statue. Casual movement, if natural and unforced, can make your toast feel more personal and engaging.

The Power of Gestures

We’re all prone to using hand gestures when we speak – it’s a natural byproduct of our desire to emphasize what we’re saying. Use this to your advantage! You can employ gestures to emphasize key points, express enthusiasm, or even prompt laughter. It’s a little like conducting an orchestra: your words come to life with the aid of your hands.

While large, dramatic gestures might be suitable for the stage, in a toast scenario, keep it focused and meaningful. Remember, the objective is not to draw attention to your gestures but to use them to reinforce what you’re saying.

Facial Expressions Speak Volumes

Your face is the most expressive part of your body. Whether it be a slight smirk or a furrowed brow, facial expressions can dramatically enhance the sentiments conveyed in your speech. A genuine smile, as simple as it may sound, can create engagement and impart warmth to your audience. Trust me; authenticity goes a long way!

The takeaway here is that thoughtful use of body language can elevate your toast from a mundane monologue to an engaging performance. Whether it’s a wedding toast or a farewell speech, remember, body language is a powerful tool – so why not hone it to your advantage?

Engaging Your Audience with Eye Contact

Let me reiterate a crucial point here: Eye contact is a powerful tool when engaging your audience. It doesn’t matter whether you’re speaking to a group of five or five hundred; eye contact can strengthen your connection with your listeners and command their attention.

Consider this – remember the last time someone held your gaze during a conversation? It made you feel interesting and heard, right? The same is true when you’re toasting.

By looking into people’s eyes, you’re saying without words: “I respect you. I value your presence. The words I’m saying are important to you too.” Let’s explore how to make the most of eye contact when delivering a toast.

Gauging Your Audience’s Reaction

If you want to really connect and engage with your audience, watch their reactions . As you make eye contact with different people during your toast, you can gather valuable feedback. If they seem engaged and responsive, you’re on the right track. However, if they seem unsettled or disinterested, it may be time to adjust your delivery, lighten the mood, or make a joke. Remember, your audience’s reactions are your guide.

Maintaining a Balance

Though eye contact is essential, there’s a fine balance to consider. Staring too intently might make your audience feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, fleeting or absent eye contact could give the impression that you’re insincere or nervous. The key is in finding the balance – aim for honest and steady eye contact that communicates your respect and appreciation.

Incorporating Eye Contact Naturally

Of course, the trick here is to incorporate eye contact naturally and not rigidly. Look at someone, smile, connect with your eyes, then naturally move on to someone else. Don’t worry too much about ensuring you make eye contact with everyone. It’s not about playing crowd bingo; it’s about making meaningful connections. Focus on making quality eye contact, not quantity.

So there you have it. Eye contact: easy to understand, a bit trickier to master, but oh-so effective once you do. It’s your subtle superpower in winning hearts and minds when giving a good toast. Master it, and you’re well on your way to achieving toasting greatness.

Managing Nerves and Overcoming Stage Fright

Do the bright lights and constant glances make you tremble whenever you take the stage? It’s completely understandable, even the most experienced speakers suffer from stage fright. But guess what, it’s nothing you can’t conquer.

The trick is to breathe and believe. Inhale deep, exhale slow. That little exercise right there can do wonders to your raging nerves. But that’s not all. Visualizing success, often termed ‘positive mental imagery’, can do wonders as well. Picture yourself on that stage, delivering that unforgettable toast. How does it feel? Pretty spectacular, isn’t it?

This isn’t your typical mumbo jumbo, in fact, many professional athletes and famous performers swear by these techniques. So, what’s stopping you? Try it out and see the magic unfold.

The Art of Overcoming Stage Fright

Stage fright can be a major obstacle that prevents you from delivering a memorable toast. Let’s delve into some strategies that can help you to overcome it effectively:

• Prepare: Nothing beats good preparation. Rehearse your speech, learn it inside and out until the words become second nature. Rehearsing ‘outloud’ and ‘in the open’ can escalate the comfort level you have with your speech.
• Accept and Reframe: It is important to understand and accept that nerves are natural, they come and go. Instead of considering nerves as a negative factor impacting your performance, reframe them as an indication of your enthusiasm and commitment.
• Focus on the Message: Your primary goal is to deliver your message effectively and engage with your audience. Shifting your attention to the significance of your speech, rather than on your fear, will help you ease down.
• Engage with Audience: Find friendly faces and make eye contact. Engage your audience early-on to establish a connection which often helps to settle any leftover nerves.

Remember, fear is just a mind game and luckily, you hold the winning cards. Embrace those nerves and redirect them to enhance your performance. Because let’s face it, there’s nothing like a little adrenaline to get the show going. It’s your stage, own it!

Next time anxiousness comes knocking before an important toast, refer back to these points. After all, remember the unforgettable words of Mark Twain, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”

Toast Etiquette: Dos and Don’ts to Keep in Mind

Let’s dive right in, shall we? Toasting is an art, undeniably, but it also comes with its fair share of rules or, to put it more gently, etiquette. You’ll want to pay attention to these ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ to avoid stepping on toes or leaving your audience less appreciative of your toasting prowess.

First and foremost, let’s focus on the dos .

• Respect your time limit : To avoid rambling on and potentially boring your audience, remember that a toast is a short speech, not a marathon. Say what you need to say succinctly and with maximum effect.
• Rehearse beforehand : Preparation is key – rehearsal helps iron out creases and makes delivery smoother. Have a run-through, or even a few, refining your words and delivery each time.
• Show appreciation and honor : Remember to show gratitude and appreciate those you are toasting. This is, after all, the primary goal of a toast.
• Speak from the heart : Genuine sincerity is crucial. While you can draw inspiration from other sources, ensure your toast is authentic and comes from your heart.
• Engage the audience : Make eye contact, invoke humor where appropriate, and aim to connect with your audience. Make them feel part of the toast rather than just spectators.

Just as important as the dos are the don’ts . Here they are:

• Avoid inappropriate language or content : A toast is a public and formal address. Therefore, offensive language and inappropriate content are off bounds. If in doubt, err on the side of caution and cut it out.
• Don’t embarrass anyone : A toast is not the time for retelling embarrassing stories or making anyone feel uncomfortable. Keep it friendly and respectful.
• Don’t wing it : Preparation comes in again here – avoid making your toast look like an afterthought by being prepared and well-rehearsed.
• Don’t make it about you : While it’s your toast, remember it’s not about you. Center your speech on the person or event you are celebrating.
• Avoid being overly emotional or dramatic : Keep your emotions in check and avoid turning your toast into a teary spectacle or dramatic performance.

Finally, remember, the ultimate goal is to honor someone or celebrate something special. Remain focused on that, and you’ll stand a good chance of mastering the art of toasting.

The Aftermath: Following Up and Expressing Gratitude

So, you’ve delivered an exquisite toast, turning the atmosphere brimming with cheer and adulation. Yet, believe it or not, your job isn’t quite done. The aftermath of the toast offers a unique opportunity to further deepen relationships and consolidate the goodwill you’ve generated. Wondering how? Let’s dig in.

First off, look around – who seems particularly moved or joyful after your toast? Approach these people. Engage them in conversation. Hear what they have to say. You see, follow-up conversations can often reveal aspects of your toast that resonated with your audience, providing you with crucial insights into what worked and what didn’t.

Another important aspect is expressing gratitude — to those who helped you prepare, and to those who had the patience to listen. When it comes to saying thank you, don’t just stop at a blanket “thanks everyone.” Be specific. Call out people by name. Mingle, shake hands, give out compliments, honor those who influenced you, or inspired sections of your toast. Personal interactions like these go a long way in creating lasting bonds. Additionally, it is important to speak highly of the guest of honor and express gratitude for their presence and impact on the event.

Lastly, take time to evaluate your performance. Reflect on your delivery and the response you garnered. Although it may seem daunting at times, don’t shy away from considering criticisms, should they be presented. Remember that every toast you deliver is a stepping stone towards your growth as a speaker — and it’s up to you to extract the solid learning from each experience.

Now you might be thinking, “do I really need to do all this?” Well, you don’t need to do anything. But isn’t it worth taking just a few extra steps if they enhance your connection with your audience, refine your skills, and most importantly, make the entire experience even more meaningful? I’ll let you answer that one.

So, here’s to mastering the art of the toast aftermath. To conversations and connections. To gratitude and growth. Your journey towards becoming an exceptional toastmaster doesn’t end with the applause — it’s in what happens thereafter that counts, too.

Whether you’re raising a toast for a milestone birthday, an anniversary or professional achievement, the knack lies in understanding your subject and your audience. Refine your thoughts, conjure up compelling stories, pepper them with relevant humor, and add a dash of personal touch. Just remember, sincerity is key.

But remember, mastering the art of toastmaking isn’t solely about the words you speak. It’s about engaging your audience, managing your nerves, understanding the nuances of body language, and putting in the time to prepare meticulously.

It’s also about the aftermath of the toast. Yes, you were witty, captivating, appreciative, and engaging, but there’s something to be said about following up and expressing gratitude in the days that follow. Because it’s not just about one speech, but the legacy of good feelings that that speech leaves behind.

Remember, every great toastmaster had to start somewhere. So, take these lessons, tips, and advice to heart. Tackle your fears head on, and give that toast that will be remembered fondly for years to come. As you embark on this entertaining journey of mastering the art of the toast, commit to finding joy in the process and tapping into the power and potential of public speaking that you’ll discover within yourself. Here’s to your journey to becoming an exceptional toastmaster!

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22 Toast Speech

Here’s to those that love us! And for those that do not love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles; so that we may know them, by their limping. Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers ,  slainte ,  skal ,  prost , and  salud ! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification

When thinking about your toast, don’t just think about the person you are toasting but about everyone in the room and think about how to bring them into your speech.  Saying “we” are here to honor the recipient and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process.  Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech.

Wedding Toast Instead of saying:  Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate. Say : As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children.  What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career. Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

Retirement Toast Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk. Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him.  And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories. Tell your story in a way that the audience relives the moment with you.

Magnification

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. I’m not talking about superfluous embellishment; I’m talking about honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Now you know of the key elements that should be in your speech, let’s talk about the process of building a toast, writing a toast, and delivering a toast.

Gather the Details

What type of toast is it.

Always adapt your toast to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Who will attend?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present.  Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room.  As you write your toast, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Are there expectations about how long the toast will be?  It is always good to ask. It can be awkward if there are several people toasting and each gives a five-minute toast and you have prepared only a two-minute toast. Typically wedding-type toasts, retirement toasts, and graduation toasts are longer speeches and people speak from notes.  On the other hand, shorter toasts are usually memorized

Sit down and just start jotting ideas.  Think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing.   Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories.

When I turn off my faucet at home, there are usually a few drips that happen as the rest of the water gets out of the line. Think of your brain that way. Give it time to drip out the last ideas and be there to catch them. They just might be the best ideas of all. Some people find if they brainstorm before bed that they wake up with the best ideas. Always assume that you will forget your ideas, so write them down as soon as you think of them.

For more on brainstorming

  Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use.  Allow yourself to write down some cheesy things—by cheesy, I mean those ideas that are silly, extreme, or not right for the occasion. Just go with it. Write those cheesy ideas down, maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the cheesy ones and if you don’t get the cheesy ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Now. Let’s think about that faucet again. Imagine there is something clogging it. You have to put some pressure on it so you can get it working. I like to think of cheesy ideas as that clog in the line. I have to get the cheesy clog out of the way by giving my mind permission to go there and once that line is clear. I need to be ready for all the great ideas that will come out in force after the clog comes out.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction. In this next section, I will show you how that works.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast. I like to think of the theme as the container that holds the speech together.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over which music is played, he told stories about bathroom breaks, and he confessed that his friend was always getting lost. These were fun stories and by hearing them we could all imagine the friendship they shared. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus that she graduated from seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways.  She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container.  If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories.  Make sure to develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period.  Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due. Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

TOAST PATTERNS

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

• Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
• Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person. With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
•  Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
• Raise your glass near the end.
• End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

  Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

• Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
• Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
• Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and always keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it. 

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague of the person retiring:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse of the person retiring:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast Possible Patterns

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme. 

Anniversary Toast Patterns

• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways. Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem.  There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.” “As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company. Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. “Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.”

Toast Etiquette

How Do You Hold the Glass?

Both wine and champagne glasses should be held by the stem, not by the bowl. “You should always hold the glass by the stem, no matter what the shape or size of the glass or the type of wine,” says Michael Greenlee, the sommelier and wine director of Gotham Bar and Grill, in New York City. “The most common mistake I see in restaurants and at dinner parties is people holding a wineglass by the bowl.”

Three reasons to hold the glass by the stem: 

• The glass is pretty;  you don’t want your fingerprints to mess it up.
• Putting your hand on the glass would block seeing the color of the wine or block your ability to watch the bubbles dance in the champagne.
• White wine and champagne are chilled, and red wine is served a room temperature. The temperature influences the taste and your hands on the glass will warm up the beverage and change it from its optimal temperature.

What Do You Do When Listening to a Toast?

Those who are listening to someone being toasted should hold their glass when the toast is being made.  At the end of the toast, listeners should raise their glasses, tilt the glass towards the person being toasted, and then take a sip.

What Do You Do If You Are the One Being Toasted?

When you are being toasted, you should sit and listen.  Smile and nod to let the person toasting know you are listening. You should not hold or lift your glass.  Once the toast is over and everyone has had a sip, then you may nod and/or say, “Thank You.”  One of the more common questions I get is, “Do I drink to myself?” and the answer is “no, you do not drink to yourself.”

Should We Clink our Glasses?

Check five different etiquette specialists and you will get five different answers. Some groups clink and some groups don’t clink. It is best to take your lead from those with the highest power of those in the center of the event. For example, if you have dinner with your co-workers and your boss is present, see what the boss does. If you are at a wedding, see what the head table does and copy.

The larger the group, the less likely there will be glass touching because it is difficult to touch everyone’s glasses. If you are in a clinking group, when you touch the bowl of the glasses together, you should always look them in the eye and smile.

“As with many of our food traditions, the clinking of glasses traces its root to the health and safety of the drinker. In this case, it goes back to the tendency of nobles to kill each other off by poisoning their food! Wine was very commonly drunk during medieval days because it was one of the only safe liquids available. Water was often polluted, and milk was both useful for other things and thought to be for children only. As the wine was often full of sediment, a poison was easily introduced into it. To prove that his wine was safe, the host would pour a bit of his guest’s wine into his own glass and drink it first, to prove it was safe. If the guest trusted his host, however, he would merely clink his flagon against that of his host’s when his host offered his cup for the sample. The ‘clink’ (or perhaps ‘clunk’ back then, since wood or metal was more common for drinking vessels) was a sign of trust and honesty.” Text from Wineintro.  Clinking of Wine Glasses and Toasts. Retrieved March 28, 2008, from  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Toasting Rules

Hold up your glass while giving a toast.

Never toast with an empty glass, it is considered bad luck.

Always hold the glass by the stem.

Avoid getting the beautiful glasses smudged. That means, not touching the bowl. It also means sipping from the same place on the glass.

Always drink to the person being toasted. If you don’t take a sip then it means that you disagree with the nice things that were said about the person. If you are full of liquid or prefer not to sip the alcohol, just put your lips to the glass and fake it.

If you oversee the filling of the glasses, hold the wine bottle near the bottom and only fill glasses halfway up to give the wine room to breathe. Always offer wine to others before pouring your own wine.

In some regions, people will gently use a knife to tap the glass to bring the group to attention.

At some weddings, the quests may tap their glasses to mean the bride and groom should kiss.

Brainstorm About Your Person

Read through these questions and try to answer them about your person. Not all the questions will relate, and that is OK. That question may trigger an unrelated memory that you can use.

Story What is the story of the two of you as children? What is the first memory you have of this person? How did you meet? What is the story of the two of you as teens? What is the story of the two of you as adults? What is an adventure you had together? When did you do something involving this person that didn’t work out as planned? What is a story that is often told about this person? What is a struggle this person has overcome or a story of where you overcame together? What story will history remember about this person? What story will you tell your kids one day? Why is this person special to you in a way that no one else knows? When did you and this person make a difficult situation fun? How have you seen this person grow?

Stuff What do they collect? What are their hobbies? What types of things are important to them? (Pets, cars, shoes) What are they known for having? (Name brand clothes, a great boat) What does their house/car/backpack say about them? What do you have of theirs that means a lot to you? How is their favorite movie, favorite superhero, favorite song a reflection of them?

The Person What are the physical characteristics that become part of their persona (Tall, big feet, curly hair)? What are they known for emotionally (being kind, being passionate, being stubborn)? What are the phrases they say often? What are they famous for? (Cooking, getting lost)

Relationship How did you meet? What has kept your relationship with this person going? What has been the highlight of the relationship? What do their friends say about them?

Wedding Toast

When and how did they meet? What were your first impressions of them as a couple? What did your friend say about the first time they met? If you were given three wishes for them as a couple, what would they be?

Toast Speech Samples from College Students Toasting Other College Students

Today, I would like to raise my glass (raise your glass) to by the far the most gifted athlete in our class. She showed us what it takes to be a student athlete at the University of Arkansas. She opened up her heart and shared the stories about her mother with us. I know we were all touched. She taught us how to improve our puts and She taught us that golf can be fun. We even learned that even the best athletes get nervous sometimes. In the words of Roy, tin cup, McEvoy, “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.” To Ana, may you always define the moment and not let it define you! I ask students to toast their classmates and to give reference to things that student has said or done in class, consider the following speech ending that references three of the student’s former speeches. Sean here this is to you for all you have given us. May your bike never fail you (reference to speech on changing a tire), May your sense of nature keep you wandering (reference to speech on camping) and may your lessons live on, in this lifetime and the next (reference to speech on missionary work).

To someone who Has opened her heart and mind to this class With hopes that they too will join in her efforts to serve God and humanity

To someone who Has made us all feel as if her papaw was our own Pitching and swinging the bat

To someone who Has made each person in this class believe As if we can make a difference in the world One Krispy Kreme doughnut at a time

Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment Before starting to improve the world. “

To Haley, we toast to you (raise glass) For you have already begun improving the world.

Best Man Toasts the Couple by Joe Burlingame

Thank you all for gathering here tonight on the beautiful occasion to celebrate the love of Korey and Paola. My name is Joe Burlingame and I know many of you have traveled from long distances to be here and we are so grateful that y’all came. Since the lovely maid of honor spoke so highly of Paola I am going to try and make Korey seem like he is worthy.

When Korey told me that things were getting serious and that he was going to propose,

My initial reaction was “Woah, Korey I am flattered but I am perfectly content with being fraternity brothers,” but everybody knew he was talking about Paola. Korey and I’s relationship started about 5 years ago And to this day I remember my first impression–it was like any first impression when we first meet an accounting major/// Aw—wk–kward.

Our friendship though took off like a rocket ship, and before we knew it we were roommates up to the time he betrayed me and found a permanent roommate. I won’t say any names but she is in this room.

In the 4 years, I lived with Korey, I have found 3 things that make him the perfect roommate.

First, Korey loves spontaneous trips. Korey and I went to 6-7 concerts one semester. We only bought tickets in advance for one and that was because it was the one band I wanted to go see. The others were concerts that Korey had caught wind of last-minute and persuaded me to go. One concert, in particular, was the night of Korey and Paola’s first date. They had gone and got coffee and macaroons I think it was maybe an hour-long date. When he got back Korey talked about it as if they had spent a year with each other. Paola I knew then that you had to be special if you had him talking about you for that long.

Second, Korey is a humble servant. Korey if there is a characteristic that describes you it is being a humble servant. I would complain about how hot it was mowing our yard, but you would not only mow ours but our elderly neighbor’s yard as well. You thought you were invisible– I saw it all. Whether it be cleaning dishes, cooking, or constantly going to our neighbors to see if they needed anything done, you were a servant and  I was thankful for you.

Paola I am jealous, I am now going to have to clean and cook for myself now. Nik Birchfield said it best “Korey doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk”

Lastly, Korey is someone who is thoughtful. I remember when we first moved in Korey brought in this huge water jug of change and a little wooden chest, I asked what the heck is that for. He responded with “Man I plan on getting married and in order to get married you need a ring.” I was blown away– I never would have thought of that.

Paola I regret that we never really got to hang out. When I saw Korey take that jug of bills and come back with a ring and he started describing why he picked this specific ring out because it matched your characteristics I knew we would be friends.

Korey and I were roommates the night before he was going to pop the question. He practiced a lot with what he was going to say. I know because he practiced on me. I don’t know how many times we practiced the scenario but I could tell you that the words he was going to say to you were heartfelt and genuine

Paola I was able to have the perfect roommate for a few years, but now you will have the perfect roommate for life.

To Paola and Korey!

Hilarious Father of the Bride Toast

This toast is a good example of how to tell a funny story in a speech. This father’s story is brilliant, and his long pauses are perfect for this speech. He goes from having you crying from laughter to tearing up with sentiment.

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Burlingame, J.  Best man toast. Advanced Public Speaking. University of Arkansas.

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass  http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Revelations Video. The most hilarious father of the bride toast.[Video] YouTube.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKduRf7o4k Standard YouTube License.

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts.  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Media Attributions

• Toasting © Zan is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• matthieu-joannon-6ciLddToTgM-unsplash © Mattheiu Joannon is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• holding wine glass is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license
• marcel-gross-marcelgross-ch-sHTwDYKti6Q-unsplash © Marcel Gross is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license

Advanced Public Speaking Copyright © 2021 by Lynn Meade is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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4.4: Toast Speech

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Here’s to those that love us! And for those that do not love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles; so that we may know them, by their limping. Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers , slainte , skal , prost , and salud ! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification

You are not talking to an audience; you are sharing with an audience. You are celebrating with them and collectively celebrating shared values and shared appreciation for a person/persons and their accomplishments. Saying “we” are here to honor the recipient and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process. Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech. This speech is for everyone present.

Wedding Toast Instead of saying: Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate. Say : As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children. What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career. Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

Retirement Toast Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk. Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him. And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories.

Magnification

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. I’m not talking about superfluous embellishment; I’m talking about honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Now you know of the key elements that should be in your speech, let’s talk about the process of building a toast, writing a toast, and delivering a toast.

Gather the Details

What type of toast is it.

Always adapt your toast to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Who will attend?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present. Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room. As you write your toast, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Are there expectations about how long the toast will be? It is always good to ask. It can be awkward if there are several people toasting and each gives a five-minute toast and you have prepared only a two-minute toast. Typically wedding-type toasts, retirement toasts, and graduation toasts are longer speeches and people speak from notes. On the other, shorter toasts are usually memorized

Sit down and just start jotting ideas. Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories. The next day after brainstorming, your brain will keep cranking out ideas …write them down immediately, put them on a notepad on your phone, or even call yourself and leave yourself a voicemail of the new ideas. Don’t lose them or let them get away.

Let’s think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing.

When I turn off my faucet at home, there are usually a few drips that happen as the rest of the water gets out of the line. Think of your brain that way. Give it time to drip out the last ideas and be there to catch them. They just might be the best ideas of all. Some people find if they brainstorm before bed that they wake up with the best ideas. Always assume that you will forget your ideas, so write them down as soon as you think of them.

Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use. Allow yourself to even write down some cheesy things—maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the cheesy ones and if you don’t get the cheesy ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Now. Let’s think about that faucet again. Imagine there is something clogging it. You have to put some pressure on it so you can get it working. I like to think of cheesy ideas as that clog in the line. I have to get the cheesy clog out of the way by giving my mind permission to go there and once that line is clear. I need to be ready for all the great ideas that will come out in force after the clog comes out.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast. I like to think of the theme as the container that holds the speech together and the vehicle that helps ideas move from place to place.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over the music, having to take bathroom breaks, and his friend always getting lost. These were fun stories that we could all imagine. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways. She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container. If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories. Make sure to fully develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period. Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due. Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

TOAST PATTERNS

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

• Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
• Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person. With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
• Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
• Raise your glass near the end.
• End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

• Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
• Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
• Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it.

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme.

Anniversary Toast

• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways. Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem. There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.” “As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May the best of your past be the worse of your future. May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company. Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.

“Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.”

Toast Etiquette

How Do You Hold the Glass?

Both wine and champagne glasses should be held by the stem, not by the bowl. “You should always hold the glass by the stem, no matter what the shape or size of the glass or the type of wine,” says Michael Greenlee, the sommelier and wine director of Gotham Bar and Grill, in New York City. “The most common mistake I see in restaurants and at dinner parties is people holding a wineglass by the bowl.”

Three reasons to hold the glass by the stem:

• The glass is pretty; you don’t want your fingerprints to mess it up.
• Putting your hand on the glass would block seeing the color of the wine or block your ability to watch the bubbles dance in the champagne.
• White wine and champagne are chilled, and red wine is served a room temperature. The temperature influences the taste and your hands on the glass will warm up the beverage and change it from its optimal temperature.

What Do You Do When Listening to a Toast?

Those who are listening to someone being toasted should hold their glass when the toast is being made. At the end of the toast, listeners should raise their glasses, tilt the glass towards the person being toasted, and then take a sip.

What Do You Do If You Are the One Being Toasted?

When you are being toasted, you should sit and listen. Smile and nod to let the person toasting know you are listening. You should not hold or lift your glass. Once the toast is over and everyone has had a sip, then you may nod and/or say, “Thank You.” One of the more common questions I get is, “Do I drink to myself?” and the answer is no, you do not drink to yourself.

Should We Clink our Glasses?

Check five different etiquette specialists and you will get five different answers. Some groups clink and some groups don’t clink. It is best to take your lead from those with the highest power of those in the center of the event. For example, if you have dinner with your co-workers and your boss is present, see what the boss does. If you are at a wedding, see what the head table does and copy.

The larger the group, the less likely there will be glass touching because it is difficult to touch everyone’s glasses. If you are in a clinking group, when you touch the bowl of the glasses together, you should always look them in the eye and smile.

“As with many of our food traditions, the clinking of glasses traces its root to the health and safety of the drinker. In this case, it goes back to the tendency of nobles to kill each other off by poisoning their food! Wine was very commonly drunk during medieval days because it was one of the only safe liquids available. Water was often polluted, and milk was both useful for other things and thought to be for children only. As the wine was often full of sediment, a poison was easily introduced into it. To prove that his wine was safe, the host would pour a bit of his guest’s wine into his own glass and drink it first, to prove it was safe. If the guest trusted his host, however, he would merely clink his flagon against that of his host’s when his host offered his cup for the sample. The ‘clink’ (or perhaps ‘clunk’ back then, since wood or metal was more common for drinking vessels) was a sign of trust and honesty.” Text from Wineintro. Clinking of Wine Glasses and Toasts. Retrieved March 28, 2008, from http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Toasting Rules

Hold up your glass while giving a toast.

Never toast with an empty glass, it is considered bad luck.

Always hold the glass by the stem.

Avoid getting the beautiful glasses smudged. That means, not touching the bowl. It also means sipping from the same place on the glass.

Always drink to the person being toasted. If you don’t take a sip then it means that you disagree with the nice things that were said about the person. If you are full of liquid or prefer not to sip the alcohol, just put your lips to the glass.

If you oversee the filling of the glasses, hold the wine bottle near the bottom and only fill glasses halfway up to give the wine room to breathe. Always offer wine to others before pouring your own wine.

In some regions, people will gently use a knife to tap the glass to bring the group to attention.

At some weddings, the quests may tap their glasses to mean the bride and groom should kiss.

Brainstorming About Your Person

Read through these questions and try to answer them about your person. Not all the questions will relate, and that is OK. That question may trigger an unrelated memory that you can use.

What is the story of the two of you as children? What is the first memory you have of this person? How did you meet? What is the story of the two of you as teens? What is the story of the two of you as adults? What is an adventure you had together? When did you do something involving this person that didn’t work out as planned? What is a story that is often told about this person? What is a struggle this person has overcome of you overcame together? What story will history remember about this person? What story will you tell your kids one day? Why is this person special to you in a way that no one else knows? When did you and this person make a difficult situation fun? How have you seen them grow?

What do they collect? What are their hobbies? What types of things are important to them? (Pets, cars, shoes) What are they known for having? (Name brand clothes, a great boat) What does their house/car/backpack say about them? What do you have of theirs that means a lot to you? How is their favorite movie, favorite superhero, favorite song a reflection of them?

What are the physical characteristics that become part of their persona (Tall, big feet, curly hair)? What are they known for emotionally (being kind, being passionate, being stubborn)? What are the phrases they say often? What are they famous for? (Cooking, getting lost)

Relationship

How did you meet? What has kept your relationship with this person going? What has been the highlight of the relationship? What do their friends say about them?

Wedding Toast

When and how did they meet? What were your first impressions of them as a couple? What did your friend say about the first time they met? If you were given three wishes for them as a couple, what would they be?

Toast Speech Samples from College Students Toasting Other College Students

To Blake who has taught us the importance of enjoying life to the fullest, whether fly fishing or spending time with loved ones. You’re a man of great humor. You’re a man who has brought us all to tears with your Tommy Boy impression. You’re a man who embodies the word “chill” Every time I would look over in class, you would be just sitting back and smiling. You were always a great person to make a speech to, because even if the speech was bad, we could look over and you’d still be smiling.

Today, I would like to raise my glass (raise your glass) to by the far the most gifted athlete in our class. She showed us what it takes to be a student athlete at the University of Arkansas. She opened up her heart and shared the stories about her mother with us. I know we were all touched. She taught us how to improve our puts and she taught us that golf can be fun. We learned that even the best athletes get nervous sometimes. In the words of Roy, tin cup, McEvoy, “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.” To Ana, may you always define the moment and not let it define you!

I ask students to toast their classmates and to give reference to things that student has said or done in class, consider the following speech ending that references three of the student’s former speeches.

Sean here this is to you for all you have given us. May your bike never fail you (reference to speech on changing a tire), May your sense of nature keep you wandering (reference to speech on camping) and may your lessons live on, in this lifetime and the next (reference to speech on missionary work).

To someone who Has opened her heart and mind to this class With hopes that they too will join in her efforts to serve God and humanity To someone who Has made us all feel as if her papaw was our own Pitching and swinging the bat To someone who Has made each person in this class believe As if we can make a difference in the world One Krispy Kreme doughnut at a time Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment Before starting to improve the world. “ To Haley, we toast to you (raise glass) For you have already begun improving the world.

Best Man Toasts the Couple by Joe Burlingame

Thank you all for gathering here tonight on the beautiful occasion to celebrate the love of Korey and Paola. My name is Joe Burlingame and I know many of you have traveled from long distances to be here and we are so grateful that y’all came. Since the lovely maid of honor spoke so highly of Paola I am going to try and make Korey seem like he is worthy.

When Korey told me that things were getting serious and that he was going to propose,

My initial reaction was woah Korey

I am flattered but I am perfectly content with being fraternity brothers, but everybody knew he was talking about Paola. Korey and I’s relationship started about 5 years ago And to this day I remember my first impression–it was like any first impression when we first meet an accounting major/// Aw—wk–kward.

Our friendship though took off like a rocket ship, and before we knew it we were roommates up to the time he betrayed me and found a permanent roommate. I won’t say any names but she is in this room.

In the 4 years, I lived with Korey, I have found 3 things that make him the perfect roommate.

First, Korey loves spontaneous trips. Korey and I went to 6-7 concerts one semester. We only bought tickets in advance for one and that was because it was the one band I wanted to go see. The others were concerts that Korey had caught wind of last-minute and persuaded me to go. One concert, in particular, was the night of Korey and Paola’s first date. They had gone and got coffee and macaroons I think it was maybe an hour-long date. When he got back Korey talked about it as if they had spent a year with each other. Paola I knew then that you had to be special if you had him talking about you for that long.

Second, Korey is a humble servant. Korey if there is a characteristic that describes you it is being a humble servant. I would complain about how hot it was mowing our yard, but you would not only mow ours but our elderly neighbor’s yard as well. You thought you were invisible– I saw it all. Whether it be cleaning dishes, cooking, or constantly going to our neighbors to see if they needed anything done, you were a servant and I was thankful for you. Paola I am jealous, I am now going to have to clean and cook for myself now. Nik Birchfield said it best “Korey doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk”

Lastly, Korey is someone who is thoughtful. I remember when we first moved in Korey brought in this huge water jug of change and a little wooden chest, I asked what the heck is that for. He responded with “Man I plan on getting married and in order to get married you need a ring.” I was blown away– I never would have thought of that.

Paola I regret that we never really got to hang out. When I saw Korey take that jug of bills and came back with a ring and he started describing why he picked this specific ring out because it matched your characteristics I knew we would be friends.

Korey and I were roommates the night before he was going to pop the question. He practiced a lot with what he was going to say. I know because he practiced on me. I don’t know how many times we practiced the scenario but I could tell you that the words he was going to say to you were heartfelt and genuine

Paola I was able to have the perfect roommate for a few years, but now you will have the perfect roommate for life.

To Paola and Korey!

Hilarious Father of the Bride Toast

This toast is a good example of how to tell a funny story in a speech. This father’s story is brilliant, and his long pauses are perfect for this speech. He goes from having you crying from laughter to tearing up with sentiment.

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Revelations Video. The most hilarious father of the bride toast.[Video] YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKduRf7o4k Standard YouTube License.

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts. http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Media Attributions

• Toasting © Zan is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• holding wine glass is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license

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Cheers! How to Give a Toast

Searching for the right words to say while giving a toast we’ll help you know how to raise your glass with these speech ideas..

Oct. 17, 2023

Toasting is a time-honored tradition that can be truly enjoyable — and also a little intimidating. Whether you’re the maid of honor who needs to give a wedding toast or you just want to say a few words at a friend’s birthday, we have plenty of tips and tricks to help make sure your toast is the talk of the evening. Follow these steps below to write your own…or just use our AI-powered Tailored Toasts generator and get the perfect thing to say in no time.

1. How to Start a Toast

The first step in crafting a great toast is to consider your audience. Are you toasting at a wedding, a birthday party, a retirement celebration or a casual dinner? Will you know everyone there really well, or is it a group of near strangers? Understanding the occasion and your audience's expectations will help you tailor your message appropriately. For example, a wedding toast may include heartfelt, appropriate anecdotes about the couple, while an informal birthday toast could include some funny stories and well-wishes.

2. Lead with Gratitude

Begin your toast by expressing gratitude or appreciation for the moment. Thank the host for inviting you and all the guests for being there. If there are people present who don’t know you, or don’t know you that well, be sure to include an introduction of yourself. Starting with a positive and thankful note sets the tone for your speech.

3. Acknowledge the Occasion

Acknowledge the reason you’re all there, whether that’s a wedding, birthday, business achievement or even just a Saturday night. If you’re toasting to a specific person, now’s the time to note that and express your affection for that person. What do they mean to you, and what makes them special?

4. Share Personal Stories

Personal anecdotes and stories add a touch of authenticity to your toast. Share memorable moments or experiences you've had with the person or people you're toasting. These stories should be lighthearted, touching or funny, depending on the atmosphere of the event. Be careful to not overshare or divulge something that the toast recipient wouldn’t appreciate.

5. Add a Quote

While totally optional, you can always research a good quote ahead of time to insert into your toast. Whether it’s from an author, movie star or respected visionary, adding someone else’s well-written words can lend your toast some additional credibility and interest.

6. Raise Your Glass

End your speech by recapping why you’re toasting, then ask everyone to raise a glass. Tradition dictates that the last sentence should say “Here’s to ______” and then “Cheers” to indicate that it’s time to toast.

Or…Let Us Write Your Speech for You

If you don’t feel like you have the time, the skills or the desire to write a toast — or just want to play around with some fun, new technology — check out our AI-powered Tailored Toasts generator . All you have to do is answer a few questions like what you’re celebrating and the style you want, and then we’ll provide you a uniquely customized toast for the occasion. Try writing your speech with Tailored Toasts today.

General Toasting Tips

There are a few things to keep in mind while crafting your speech:

Keep it concise. A short and sweet speech is always better than a meandering lecture.

Practice, practice, practice. Public speaking can be nerve-wracking, so practice your toast several times before the big moment. Consider rehearsing with a trusted friend who can provide feedback.

Be yourself. Authenticity is key to a successful toast. Speak from the heart, and your sincerity will shine through. Don't try to be overly formal or use language that doesn't feel like "you."

Enjoy a great cocktail. For the guests who are toasting with a drink in hand, make sure they’re raising a glass of something special. Search through all our vodka cocktail recipes to find your favorite.

Now you know everything you need to write and give an exceptional speech. We’ll toast to that. Cheers!

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Touching Toast Speech Examples For The Honored Guest

A toast speech is given on many occasions, including weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, and retirements. Most are brief – less than 5 minutes – and often accompanied by raising glasses to honor the celebrating person or couple. Here are some toast speech examples.

At almost any celebration, someone will offer a toast to an honored guest or special occasion. A toast speech is common at a wedding reception but occurs at many other events. Whatever big day someone you love is celebrating, you may want to raise a glass, say a few words. and encourage glass clinking of those assembled.

Here are some toast speech examples if you need to give one.

Table of Contents

What Do People Usually Say During A Toast Speech?

The most simple formula for giving a toast, whether it is a wedding toast or another kind, is this:

• Introduce yourself.
• Connect the story to the event .
• Tell a story.
• Bring it home!

In the introduction or attention-getter, the speaker quickly tells who they are and their relationship with the loved one they are toasting. A good toast sets the stage so everyone assembled feels part of things.

The next portion will include either a touching or funny story or anecdote about the honored person. The story can be cute and maybe even a bit embarrassing but remember the crowd. For example, a wedding speech should not say anything too embarrassing or reference private jokes the audience isn’t in on.

If you are honoring an accomplishment of someone, such as winning a citizenship award or 50 years of marriage, it is appropriate to point that out to the guests.

Lastly, you invite everyone to raise their glasses and encourage them to drink to those you honor, whether one person or a couple.

“I’m Joan, the bride’s mother. I owned the first high heels she wore and still seem to have some Annable “borrows” when she drops over. I am so happy to be toasting her and her fiance Byron, who has his own shoes. Wishing you both lifetime of happiness.”

What Should You End A Toast Speech With?

Coming up with a good ending for a toast can be tricky. You don’t want to end too abruptly. However, you also don’t want to drone on and on. Once you have told the little anecdotes, you can use a cue to tell others you are almost done.

“So let’s raise our glasses” is a good cue that you are finishing. “A toast to the bride and groom” or “Raise up your glasses to my best friend and his bride on their wedding day” are both excellent ways to end the best man toast.

How Long Should A Toast Speech Be?

The best special occasion toast speeches are roughly 3-4 minutes long. If you talk for much longer than that, you risk losing your audience no matter what kind of toast you are making.

What Are Some Tips For Making A Toast Speech?

• Relate to the audience. Whatever the common ground is, state that in some way. Whether it is a work party, a retirement celebration, or a wedding party, you are all there for the same reason.
• Introduce and share something about yourself. Those listening want to know who you are and why you are speaking. Your wording might go, “As John’s best friend, older sister, coworker, neighbor, etc., I have seen John climb many mountains….”
• Be sentimental. Especially if you are giving a wedding toast or speaking at a celebration of life, saying a few sentimental and heartfelt words because they will resonate with the person you are honoring.
• Use shorter sentences as they are easier to listen to. Avoid speaking in long sentences. Keep it simple.
• Don’t embarrass anyone. It would be unusual for a best man not to tell a single embarrassing story about the groom… but nothing too risqué. Never bring up someone’s exes. Be aware of the audience. Ask yourself this question: does my friend want his or her mother/grandmother/father/ grandfather/great-aunt Matilda to hear this story? If the answer is no, don’t tell it.
• Make notes and practice. You should not trust your memory with something this important. Jot down some notes on notecards and practice what you want to say.

Who Should Give a Toast?

Some affairs designate who will give a toast, while others are less formal. Some occasions entertain multiple toasts.

At a wedding, the bride’s father might offer the first toast. The maid of honor might give a toast, and sometimes other bridesmaids join in. You can expect a best man speech, but other groomsmen may also offer a toast. The bride and groom might toast each other or their parents.

A close coworker might offer a toast to the retiree at a retirement party. Family members might offer a toast for a couple hosting an anniversary party. When a group gathers at a bar or restaurant, someone at the table might congratulate another person on a birthday , new job, new house, engagement, wedding, or pregnancy.

People love celebrating and raising their glasses, which may contain alcoholic beverages, soft drinks, or even water.

The occasion and audience may dictate what type of toast you can give. A funny maid of honor speech might be well received at a women-only engagement party or bachelorette dinner but not at the wedding reception.

Ensure your words will not offend anyone as you plan the perfect toast for your friend or loved one’s special day. Commemorative milestones in a positive way!

What Is A Typical Toast Speech For:

As you prepare to offer toasts on special occasions, consider if you want to say something unique or if a famous quote is the way you want to go. Here are some examples of each.

An Engagement Party

• “May God shower you with blessings. “
• “Nothing else matters when two people fall in love.”
• “May you have a long and happy life together. “
• “To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” — David Viscott
• “Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” — Franklin P. Jones
• “Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” — Oliver Wendell Holmes

Wedding toasts can be sentimental, like these.

• “For the bride and groom, a toast.”
• “Lift your glasses to the happy couple.”
• “May you live long and live even longer.”
• “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn
• “You don’t marry the person you can live with—you marry the person you can’t live without.” — Unknown
• “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin

Funny Wedding Toasts

Of course, there are also funny wedding toasts.

• “We never thought he would find someone to marry him, yet here we are.”
• “It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner
• “Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.” — Clint Eastwood

Toasting Your New Spouse

Sometimes newlyweds choose to toast one another at the wedding. Here are some lovely

• “And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you, and I’d choose you.” —Kiersten White
• “Grow old with me. The best is yet to be, the last of life for which the first was made.” — Robert Browning
• “You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss

An Anniversary

• “We have been blessed beyond measure to have found one another and to have lived and loved this long. A toast to marriage.”
• “If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat.” — Anonymous
• “To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” — Robert Brault
• “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” – Franz Schubert

A Retirement Party

When offering a toast at a retirement party, it would be lovely to speak to the work ethic and accomplishments of the retiree. It can be simple or go into some detail.

• “Although we are happy for you to be retiring, we will all miss seeing you each day.”
• “May you have more fun in retirement than we did here at work!”
• “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons
• “Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it and how you want to do it,” – Catherine Pulsifer

A former English teacher and currently an elementary principal in a rural school, Pam has honed her speaking skills in the classroom and before professional groups. Pam enjoys sharing her insights about public speaking almost as much as she enjoys running, which she does daily.

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How to give a toast from the heart.

At some point in your life, you’ll need to give a toast. You might get advance notice as a Maid of Honor or host of a retirement celebration. Or it might occur to you suddenly, in the middle of a gathering of your best friends, that “this calls for a toast!”

Here’s a secret about toasts: The best ones come from the heart. Try not to worry about being eloquent or memorable or perfect—focus on letting the person or people you toast know they matter.

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @hallmarkstores .

The basics of giving a toast  

We’ll start with a few FAQs:

Should you give a toast?

Sometimes it’s easy to know: You’ve been asked, you’re in a wedding party, you’re the host of a gathering. But sometimes, the gathering is less formal. A few simple etiquette guidelines:

• The host of a dinner might start the meal by toasting the guest of honor or the group.
• If they don’t, guests can suggest a toast to thank the host—or wait until after the main course is over to raise a glass.
• In a gathering, read the room. Is there a good reason to grab everyone’s attention? Can you do it without changing the mood of the event? Is this something everyone needs to hear? Then go for it.

Is this the time for a quick wish, a sincere compliment, or some good stories?

If you’ve been asked to deliver a toast, you can ask about expectations. If you’re raising a glass to start a meal, speaking on a whim, or are one of many speakers, shorter is sweeter.

How do you actually do it? Just simply stand up, raise a glass of whatever you’re drinking, and take focus. You don’t have to ding your glass with silverware—just confidently ask for a few moments of attention or say, “I’d like to propose a toast.”

What to say in a toast  

This is the part most likely to make people nervous. But remember: The most moving toasts are heartfelt and sincere. They use real-life language, true stories, and genuine emotion.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make a few notes or practice. Absolutely do. If you’re offering a toast at a formal or special event, being comfortable with what you’re going to say will put everyone else at ease, too.

Here’s a simple formula to create a great toast:

• Start by announcing who or what you’re toasting—the person, group, organization, or occasion—and the reason for the gathering.
• Give the audience context by letting them know why you’re making the toast: your relationship, connection, or a little about yourself.
• Share stories, anecdotes, or compliments about the subject of the toast.
• Wrap things up with a thank-you to the hosts, if appropriate, and a wish for the honoree.

Or, if some of those things are well known, you can keep your toast super simple:

“Raise your glasses to (person, people, or organization) because (reason or occasion). (Add a compliment here.) Cheers!”

Specific toasts for special occasions  

Looking for more help making a toast on a big day? We’ve got help for that, too.

The Challenge: What to say at your parents’ 50th wedding anniversary The Tip: Before the big bash, ask your parents (separately) about the secrets to their success, how they met, their fondest memory, their partner’s best trait. Then incorporate their stories into your toast. Be sure to mention what they’ve meant to you as parents and your admiration for their partnership. A good ending: “So here’s to my parents—my first, and best, example of how love can last a lifetime. Cheers to both of you.” Skip: Sibling rivalry! If your brother shows up with a 20-minute slide show, don’t alter your speech for the sake of competition.

The Challenge: What to say at your son’s high-school graduation party The Tip: Highlight what his graduation represents: the joy and pride he has brought to his family, his dedication to his education and the promise of his future life. Consider, “We know that he’ll take the university—and soccer field!—by storm and become the kind of adult who will benefit the people and the world around him.” Skip: Gushing—you don’t want to mortify the kid. And don’t go on and on about his good grades; it comes off as bragging.

The Challenge: What to say as matron of honor at your friend’s second wedding The Tip: Include the groom and mention how much he has brought into your friend’s life. Try starting with, “I’ve known Mary since childhood and always knew she needed someone to match her smarts, strength and loyalty. Fortunately, she found her equal when she met Jon.” Give examples you’ve seen, or your friend has shared with you. Keep it short—three to five minutes. Skip: Any references whatsoever to her previous spouse, boyfriends, or romantic dry spells.

The Challenge: What to say at your best friend’s milestone birthday party The Tip: Let the compliments flow. Want help putting it into words? Ask the party guests to write compliments—or memories, or short anecdotes—on 3×5 cards. (You can send them in invitations or make them available at the celebration.) You can read them aloud or ask others to help. Afterward, put all the cards in a jar or book as a gift to the guest of honor. Skip: Making fun of your friend for getting older. We know by now that we get better and better with every decade, right?

The Challenge: What to say when your team just landed a new project at work The Tip: Make it about the team—all of them. Try something like: “Every one of you was instrumental in closing this deal: The marketing team put together great materials, the sales team swayed the client, and the administrative staff kept us sane through it all!” Skip: Winging it—make notes and talk it through in your mirror. You don’t want to accidentally leave someone out.

Short and sweet toasts  

We understand that sometimes you might want to finish with a little bit of a flourish. For those occasions, we offer these toasts:

• Here’s to you and the chance today brings to look back, look ahead and, best of all, look around at the faces of all the people who care about you.
• Here’s to the memories we cherish, the joys we share, the dreams we dream. And most of all, here’s to us.
• Wishing you joy and laughter, beauty and happy memories, and all the joy you so deserve.
• Here’s to new journeys, new songs to be sung, new ways to be blessed when you’re [age] years young!
• Here’s to you— one year older, wiser, and more wonderfully you than ever. Here’s to you! You did good— I knew you would! A toast to you on this special occasion and best wishes for all the happiness the future can hold.

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What Is a Ceremonial Speech and How Do You Write One? (Featuring Examples)

Updated 08/28/2023

Published 08/29/2022

Sam Tetrault, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Also known as a commemorative speech, a ceremonial speech is a type of speech given as part of a special occasion. They’re designed to pay tribute to an individual, event, idea, or institution. Unlike other types of speeches, they usually also focus on values as a form of celebration. 

Jump ahead to these sections:

How does a ceremonial speech work, ceremonial speech vs. other types of special speeches, how to write a ceremonial speech.

You might encounter ceremonial speeches as part of a graduation, wedding, or funeral program. However, they’re generally upbeat. It’s more than just a list of information. It’s a way to celebrate the value behind a person, idea, place, or institution. In other words, it’s a way to encourage the audience to join the speaker in celebration. 

In this guide, we’ll explore what a ceremonial speech is and how you write one yourself. If you’ve been tasked with writing your own ceremonial speech for a special occasion, it can be intimidating to know where to begin. We also include some examples to help inspire you. 

With that in mind, how does a ceremonial speech work? If you’re unfamiliar with different types of speeches, it’s normal to be confused with this type in particular. You’ve likely seen many of these different speeches first hand throughout your life, though you might not have realized it at the time. 

These speeches come in all different tones. They can be:

• Accomplishment-focused
• Inspirational

Above all, the theme should be consistent with the person or place you’re trying to honor. Like all speeches, they contain the same basic elements like an introduction, key details or stories, and a final conclusion. The opening remarks for a funeral , for example, could be considered a type of ceremonial speech. 

When would Someone give a ceremonial speech?

Similarly, when would someone give a ceremonial speech? As explained above, these speeches are given for any number of reasons. You’ll most often see these speeches for these purposes:

• At a funeral service (also known as a eulogy )
• As part of a wedding reception
• When honoring someone’s retirement
• Recognizing a special event or organization
• Introducing an important figure
• Celebrating a graduating class
• A final farewell to someone moving away

You most frequently see these speeches given at a ceremony, funeral, wedding, or another special event. They can be formal or casual, depending on the setting. It can mark an anniversary, degree, legacy, or other accomplishment. It’s becoming more common for commemorative speeches to be given virtually, as well. 

Who can give a ceremonial speech?

Finally, who can give a ceremonial speech to honor a special person or occasion? There are no limits to who can provide this type of speech. If you’re comfortable speaking in front of others, odds are you’re a good fit. 

In some cases, you might be asked to give a ceremonial speech. This is true even if you have no prior speaking experience. For example, it’s common for close friends and family to speak on behalf of the deceased at a funeral service. Alternatively, you might be invited to welcome a new colleague with a commemorative speech. 

The good news is it doesn’t take prior skills or experiences to give a successful ceremonial speech. Unlike other types of public speaking, a ceremonial speech comes from the heart. The more authentic and genuine you are with your speaking, the bigger your impact becomes on your audience. 

If you’re familiar with public speaking, you might know many different types of speeches to choose from. These all have their pros and cons, and it’s helpful to understand how they differ in practice. Let’s review some of the most common types of speeches: 

• Presentation speech: A presentation speech is given to present an idea to an audience, usually educationally-focused. 
• Acceptance: If you’ve ever watched an award show, you’ve seen acceptance speeches in action. This is when someone accepts an award for their service, experience, or so on. 
• Toast: Toasts are often confused with ceremonial speeches, and they have a lot in common. A toast is similar to a tribute, but it’s usually much more brief and conversational. 
• Keynote: A keynote address is a longer speech that’s goal is to inspire or inform. It’s a formal call to action. 

Above, you’ll find the most common types of speeches, excluding ceremonial speeches. A ceremonial speech, on the other hand, specifically honors someone or something. It can be long, short, conversational, formal, or any combination of these. 

If you’re been tasked with writing a ceremonial speech, you might not know where to begin. Learning how to write a speech for a funeral , graduation, wedding, or other special events can be intimidating. Luckily, anyone can do this with a bit of planning and patience. 

Step 1. Understand the theme

To begin, make sure you fully understand the theme of your commemorative speech. You want to recognize the person, place, or thing you focus on. This usually means you’ll want to keep the theme upbeat or light, focusing on their accomplishments and hope. 

Here are a few questions to guide your search for the right theme:

• If someone was giving this ceremonial speech about you, what would you expect them to say?
• What is the significance of what you’re talking about?
• What are the key memories or ideas around this person/place/institution that you want to share?
• What did this person/place mean to you?

Finding a personal connection brings your speech to life. Anyone can explain something in a passive way. A real speaker dives deeping, making a larger point from the full speech. 

Step 2. Begin with an outline

While you might be ready to jump right into writing your speech, hold on for a moment. A speech outline goes a long way to keep your ideas organized. Your outline should highlight the most important points you don’t want to forget. This might change over time, but it should help you keep your speech on the topic from start to finish. 

Step 3. Craft an introduction

Next, it’s time to craft your ceremonial speech introduction. Though often overlooked, your speech introduction is the most important part. This can make or break the rest of your time on stage, and you want to grab the audience’s attention quickly. 

When writing this type of speech, consider starting with the goal of your speech. You can build a personal connection with a heartfelt story, share an attention-grabbing statement, or make a big assertion about what this person/place meant to you. 

Step 4. Explore more details about your topic

From there, dive into the meat and gravy of your speech. Add details and information about your subject, including anecdotes and special tidbits when necessary. It might help to talk to others who knew this person or who were a part of this event. The more input you have, the easier it is to create a wider, clearer story. 

Step 5. Wrap up your speech

When you’re ready, wrap up your speech naturally. This should flow as though it’s slowly coming to a clear conclusion, not like you’re abruptly ending your thought out of nowhere. Ultimately, summarize the impact of your topic, possibly leaving the audience with something hopeful or encouraging. 

Step 6. Practice, practice, practice

Last but not least, don’t forget to practice. Your speech could be amazing, but your words still fall flat if you don’t feel confident giving it. Practice giving your speech to yourself, in front of others, or front of a camera. Listen to feedback and adjust as needed. It’s okay if your speech isn’t perfect right away! 

Ceremonial Speech Examples

One of the best ways to learn how to write your own ceremonial speech is to read examples. Though you probably have heard some of these speeches in your life, here are some specific examples to draw inspiration from. 

Honor a friend at a funeral

Today, I’m going to talk about my good friend George. I’ve known George since high school, and he’s always been there for me. Since our first days trying to make it through Algebra to raising our kids in the same neighborhood, he’s stood by me. He’s a testament to all things compassion, kindness, and bravery. The first to speak up for someone in need and the quickest to lend a helping hand, I hope to learn from his inspirational life. Thank you.

Recognize a mentor 

Though I’m the one graduating today, I wanted to commemorate the person who helped me get here. Dr. Jan was the first person I met on my first day of university four years ago, and she’s also the first person I went to share my med school acceptance news. More than a smart professor, she’s a valued friend and leader. Even when I didn’t think I could do it, she pushed me to always do my best. I have so much to thank her for, today and everyday. 

Are You Writing a Ceremonial Speech?

If you’re writing a ceremonial speech of your own, don’t fret. There are many ways to make your words come to life, no matter the story you’re trying to tell. Life is short. There are only so many opportunities to highlight the most important things to you. 

Ultimately, a ceremonial speech is a way we share our legacies. What does legacy mean to you? How do you want to be remembered? 

Categories:

• Funeral Planning
• Funeral Traditions - What To Expect
• Funerals & Memorial Services

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Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Examples and Writing Tips

Here's how to write and deliver the perfect toast on this special day.

Photo by Bokeh Company

In This Article

Raise your glasses to the moms taking the mic at wedding receptions to give their very own mother-of-the-bride speech. While we know moms are basically superhuman creatures with an endless array of skills and abilities, public speaking can be a feat to shake even the heroes among us—not to mention the added flood of mixed emotions that will be present throughout the day.

Delivering a heartfelt speech to a crowd of family members and newly minted in-laws will surely have you feeling a bit nervous, and we can't dismiss the act of finding the right words to convey everything you're feeling in the first place. But rest assured, mamas, we've got a guide to help you ease your minds and fortify your wits. We tapped three experts—wedding planners Amy Abbott and Paulette Alkire and Kylie Carlson, CEO of Wedding Academy Global —to walk you through the process of giving a pro-level mother-of-the-bride speech.

Meet the Expert

• Amy Abbott is a wedding planner and the owner of Amy Abbott Events , a Los Cabos–based wedding and event planning company that designs celebrations throughout Mexico.
• Kylie Carlson is the CEO of Wedding Academy Global , an educational service that offers certification training for the wedding industry.
• Paulette Alkire is the lead wedding planner at Chalet View Lodge , a full-service wedding venue, boutique resort, and spa in Graeagle, California.

Below, find expert tips that will help you write—and deliver—the perfect toast on your son or daughter's big day.

Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Template

Just as all moms are unique, and no two mother-daughter relationships are alike, your mother-of-the-bride speech will be entirely personal to you and the bond you share. However, there are a few components that should be present in your toast. Here's a general outline to help you get started.

Acknowledge your guests.

Every great speech should start with a few words of gratitude for the people who have gathered to partake in the celebration with you. You can mix this into a full greeting to welcome guests if you are the first speech on the schedule of events.

Welcome your new son- or daughter-in-law.

No mother-of-the-bride speech would be complete without a warm welcome to their daughter's new partner. Abbott explains that a good way to honor your new son-in-law or daughter-in-law is to make it clear that you feel you're gaining a new family member and that they are welcome. You should also nod to how they have changed or complemented your daughter for the better.

Choose happy memories to share.

As you choose memories, focus on positive, happy moments. Telling a story that highlights how your daughter overcame something unpleasant or embarrassing shouldn't be shared on their wedding day.

Never mention your daughter's previous relationships or marriages, and don't talk about unfulfilled dreams. Only bring up the best memories of your daughter's life.

Highlight one or two big accomplishments.

Theoretically, the guests should already know what the bride does for a living. Reciting every success they've ever had, in detail, is completely unnecessary. You should, instead, express how proud you are of their accomplishments and highlight one or two.

Mother of the Bride Speech Tips

Here are our experts' best tips for writing and delivering your mother-of-the-bride speech.

Write your thoughts down on paper.

This momentous occasion is probably not the best time to wing it. Whether you use bullet points or an outline, make sure you pen everything you want to tell your daughter in your speech to avoid leaving out anything special. “Start the process informally by simply writing down any and all things you want to make sure to include, from fond memories to advice on love for the newlyweds. As you lay it out on paper, you’ll see that an organic flow may come together quickly,” says Carlson.

Remember to pause and breathe.

If your nerves are starting to get to you, you might start speeding through your speech; to combat this, take a deep breath and remember that it’s alright to take a pause. “Many people forget just how powerful a pause can be. If your nerves are getting to you, take a moment to gather yourself before continuing. Most guests will take this silence as you giving them a moment to fully receive the last bit of sentiment you shared. Center yourself by making eye contact with the bride, breathe, and continue,” says Alkire.

Don't feel pressured to be funny.

Sure, humor is great—but if you're not a naturally funny person, don't push your limits on your daughter's most important day. Just be your sincere and honest self. The rest will follow, and your daughter will love it.

Practice your speech beforehand.

Write your mother-of-the-bride speech well in advance of the wedding so you’ll have plenty of time to practice it. “Try giving the speech out loud on your own, run it by a few trusted friends or family members, and then set it aside for a bit. This gives you time to return to the speech in a week or two with a fresh perspective," says Carlson.

Increase the amount of time you practice your speech in the month before the wedding, advises Carlson. No matter what the speech, the calmest of presenters are always the most practiced.

Avoid inside jokes.

You might have some amazing inside jokes that will make your daughter laugh, but no one else will find them funny. "Avoid inside jokes to keep the speech inclusive of everyone listening," says Alkire.

Keep it short and sweet.

You're talking about your daughter, and we know you could probably go on about how amazing they are for hours, but a good rule of thumb is to limit your speech to three to five minutes.

Don't worry about crying.

This is one occasion that indisputably warrants tears—if you're afraid of getting choked up during your delivery, just remember no one will judge you for it. In fact, most people will think it's incredibly sweet and you just might make them need a tissue, too.

Olivier Truan Photography / Getty Images

Get Brainstorming!

Now that you have a slew of tips for writing your mother-of-the-bride speech, here are some questions to ask yourself to get the brainstorming process started.

• Which of your daughter's qualities do you really want to highlight?
• What's one of the best memories you have of raising your daughter?
• When did you first know that their partner was "the one"?
• What advice do you wish you'd heard from your mom on your wedding day?
• What about their new marriage makes you the happiest?

Mother-of-the-Bride Speech Examples to Make Your Own

Does the mother of the bride give a speech? For these women, the answer was a resounding “Yes!” Get inspired with these actual toasts from loving moms.

Today is your wedding day. It's something a mother wishes and waits for from the time her daughter is born until she walks down the aisle.

"When Jewel was young she surrounded herself with lots of friends, some of whom are here today. They know our basement was always full with high school friends, just as your wedding is full of yours and Jason's friends today.

Time doesn't stand still; it is fleeting and it is amazing how quickly it passes. Like time, Jewel has never stood still. It seems like she is always running after one adventure after another. When her sister Mindy ran a marathon, Jewel had to keep up, so she started running. Mindy was content to say she checked a marathon off her bucket list, but Jewel had to keep on running, competing in a triathlon, and then an Ironman. Even getting her engagement ring was a race, a scavenger hunt adventure but still a race. This one she and Jason won together. Partners all the way.

Jewel and Jason, now it is your turn to embark on your own journey as a couple, to experience life with a loving partner. As you find your own route through life, remember to cherish each other. We know that through all the twists and turns of the road, you will support and care for each other with true love.

As you celebrate this wedding day, know it is not the best but the first of many blessed events in your lives together. We're thrilled you two have found the one for you. We wish you both joy, laughter, and love—from our hearts to yours.”— Eileen Roth

Thank you all for coming. I’m a strong mom, I have a strong daughter, and after this, I know I will need a strong drink.

"I would like to welcome Steve, and his parents Helen and Larry, and all of his wonderful, huge family into our family. I will not begin to mention all his brothers and sisters lest I forget one.

Steve: You are an amazing young man that I have grown to know and love. I met you after I fell skiing and I had cracked my ribs. I was on morphine and I was very happy...so please note that I am not always that crazy. Steve, when you asked to take me to lunch at my office, I knew that something was up. And it was—you asked to marry my daughter and we both cried. You have such a kind heart.

Adrienne: You are a strong, smart, and beautiful woman. I’m going to take this opportunity to apologize for the many things that I did with and to you while you were growing up. I’m sorry for many of them but not really for others, as they may have helped make you who you are today.

• I am sorry for always giving you peanut butter for lunch every day...as we found out later that you were deathly allergic to peanuts.
• I am sorry for dragging you to all the boys’ hockey and baseball games; however, you and Alysse retaliated by dragging them to all your dance recitals.
• I am sorry for the overkill of health foods—especially quinoa. But on the bright side, you have become a fabulous cook. (And have now married a cook).
• I am sorry that I made you follow me down the black diamond ski hills...but you have become a great skier.
• I am sorry for taking you on all those crazy adventures—an impromptu helicopter ride; a million Walk of Life events; travel to England, Wales, California, Boston, Chicago, New Orleans...but hey, they were lots of fun.
• I am sorry I made you watch all-night episodes of Gilmore Girls.
• I am sorry for eating bags of BBQ chips...actually, that was just me.
• I am sorry for taking you to so many dance workshops and involving you in many choreographies...but wow, you have become an accomplished dancer, actress, and teacher.

So, as a tribute to your dancing, I offer a musical toast to you and Steve. And the music is to ‘New York, New York’...the place where Steve proposed to you.”— Barbara Kennedy

“I want to thank everyone for being here celebrating Kayleigh and Adam; the Hodgins family, our family, and friends who have become family—welcome. Kayleigh’s father, her Derd, and I are tickled pink to host this beautiful evening.

As most of you know, Kayleigh faced physical challenges as a newborn and toddler but with every year, grew stronger and even more delightful. As she got older, she excelled in basketball and show choir, and happily graduated from FIDM. She then embarked on what promises to be a fulfilling career.

Kayleigh—it always has been and always will be an honor and absolute joy to be your mom. You light up any room just by being in it.

As a parent, you, of course, want your child to succeed in life—both personally and professionally. But one of the most satisfying rewards is seeing your child experience true love and happiness, which she has absolutely found with Adam. Thank you, Adam, for loving our girl, we’re thrilled you are part of our family.

Please join me in a toast to the bride and groom—congratulations! We all wish you the best for everything this new journey has to offer.” — Marla White

While every wedding is different, the mother of the bride typically delivers their speech during the  wedding reception  following the father of the bride's speech. In some instances—whether the father is deceased or unable to attend—the mother of the bride will kick off the wedding toasts by going first.  

Focus on personal anecdotes from your daughter regarding how the two met or when they knew that they had found " the one ." 

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