love and marriage easy essay

Reflections on Love and Marriage

This essay about love and marriage highlights the profound impact these elements have on human relationships and society. It explores the deep emotional bonds formed in marriage, the commitment it signifies, and the resilience it fosters. The essay also discusses the evolving dynamics of love and marriage in the context of changing societal norms and cultural shifts, emphasizing the importance of empathy, patience, and mutual respect in sustaining these relationships.

How it works

Love and marriage, as encapsulated in the timeless words of Martin Luther, “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage,” evoke profound reflections on human relationships. These two intertwined aspects of life have been subjects of contemplation, celebration, and study across cultures and epochs. Exploring their dynamics reveals not only the diversity of human experiences but also the universal aspirations and challenges that define our existence.

At its essence, love forms the foundation upon which marriages are built.

Love manifests in myriad forms — from passionate romance to enduring companionship. It transcends mere infatuation, evolving into a deep emotional and often spiritual bond between individuals. This bond provides strength during turbulent times and enhances joy during moments of triumph. In the words of Lao Tzu, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Thus, love in marriage becomes a source of resilience and courage, nurturing personal growth and mutual support.

Marriage, meanwhile, signifies a formal commitment to love, marking a significant milestone in the journey of two individuals. It serves as a societal institution that fosters stability and continuity across generations. Through marriage, individuals pledge loyalty and devotion, promising to navigate life’s challenges together. This commitment not only enhances personal well-being but also contributes to the broader social fabric by promoting family cohesion and community bonds.

Yet, the dynamics of love and marriage are multifaceted. While they bring profound fulfillment, they also demand compromise, understanding, and continual effort. Challenges such as communication breakdowns, differing expectations, and external pressures can strain relationships. However, overcoming these challenges through empathy, patience, and mutual respect deepens the bond between partners, reinforcing the foundation of their love.

Moreover, love and marriage evolve alongside societal norms and cultural shifts. As attitudes towards gender roles, individual autonomy, and partnership dynamics evolve, so too do perceptions of love and marriage. Contemporary discussions emphasize equality, consent, and inclusivity, reshaping traditional narratives and expanding the definition of marital love to encompass diverse identities and experiences.

Literature, art, and philosophy have long served as mirrors reflecting the complexities of love and marriage. From Shakespearean tragedies exploring the fragility of love to modern novels depicting the intricacies of contemporary relationships, storytelling offers insights into the human condition. Artistic expressions not only capture the euphoria of newfound love but also delve into the complexities of long-term commitment and the inevitability of change within relationships.

In conclusion, the quote by Martin Luther underscores the enduring appeal of love and marriage as fundamental aspects of human experience. They enrich our lives, providing meaning, companionship, and personal growth. While navigating the intricacies of love and marriage requires effort and adaptability, the rewards are profound — a shared journey marked by resilience, compassion, and the enduring pursuit of happiness together.

In essence, love and marriage represent a celebration of human connection, encapsulating the beauty of intimacy and the strength found in commitment. They inspire us to cherish moments of joy, navigate challenges with grace, and uphold the bonds that sustain us. As we continue to explore and redefine these timeless concepts, their significance remains undiminished, offering a beacon of hope and fulfillment in an ever-changing world.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Marriage — The Journey of Married Life

The Journey of Married Life

• Categories: Happy Marriage Marriage

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Published: Sep 16, 2023

Words: 697 | Pages: 2 | 4 min read

Table of contents

The foundation of love and commitment, the joys of partnership, the challenges and growth, the fulfillment of family, the importance of continuous investment, conclusion: the ever-evolving journey.

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Created by  Kaitlynn Wolffe on  Wed, 10/16/2024 - 09:09

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Marriage and courtship in the Regency era were steeped in a complex dichotomy between the longing for romantic affection and the societal expectations of transactional relationships. While often romanticized in literature like Jane Austen’s novels, and popular culture, this period was strongly governed by practical considerations that frequently overshadowed individual desires for love and emotional connection. The picture above expresses this conflict clearly, as the man finds himself cross with the lady, as she is always hanging out with her cousin. This dichotomy is then displayed as loopholes within the strict social codes, such as relations with cousins, reveal the struggle between love and expectation (Mainardi 68).

Cousins were only the beginning of this deep conflict between love and marriage. Men and women practically lived on different planets, so until the moment of proposal, there was very little interaction between the two sexes. With cousins, they were a lady’s relative, so they were allowed to mingle while growing up and into adulthood. Although possibly incestuous, society saw cousins as distantly related enough that it would be alright while still being close enough that they could interact (105). Aside from cousins, men and women took any opportunity they could to get to know others beyond these strict and transactional social rules.

The transactional nature of courtship created an environment where genuine affection was frequently stifled by the prioritization of social and financial gain. Young women, often chaperoned and restricted in their interactions, were trained to present themselves as desirable without openly expressing their feelings. They were expected to attract suitors through charm and propriety, but the underlying assumption was that love would follow once a suitable match was made. This is seen within Pride and Prejudice through Charlotte Lucas’ and Mr. Collin’s marriage. Charlotte Lucas focused more so on the financial and social benefits of being a wife, while believing that she would be able to tolerate Mr. Collins and hopefully build affection later on. Romantic love, both in reality and in literature, then, was often viewed as an ideal rather than a prerequisite for marriage.

Conversely, men faced societal pressures to be assertive in their pursuit of a suitable bride, often prioritizing familial approval and social considerations over personal desire. A man's reputation was closely tied to his ability to secure a wealthy or well-connected wife, and as such, the pursuit of love could feel more like a competitive endeavor than a heartfelt connection. Emotional vulnerability was largely discouraged, with men expected to maintain a façade of confidence and control.

Ultimately, the dichotomy between romantic affection and transactional marriage during the Regency era illuminated the struggles individuals faced in reconciling personal desires with societal expectations. While the institutional pressures of the time often overshadowed true emotional connections, the seeds of change were sown as voices advocating for love, companionship, and genuine connection began to emerge. As the era progressed, these shifting ideals laid the groundwork for more modern concepts of marriage, where love and partnership would eventually come to take precedence over mere social contracts.

Works Cited

Philipon, Charles. “It’s Always ‘My cousin this, my cousin that!,’” Amourettes , 15, 1827. Lithograph. Lith. Ducarne, Dist. Ostervald l’ainé et Hautecoeur-Martinet. Bibliothéque nationale de France, Paris. (“Tonjours: mon cousin par ci, mon cousin par lá!”)

Mainardi, Patricia. “Husbands, Wives and Lovers: Marriage and Its Discontents in Nineteenth-Century France.” AbeBooks , Yale University Press, 1 Jan. 1970, www.abebooks.com/9780300101041/Husbands-Wives-Lovers-Marriage-Discontent... .

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Marriage Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on marriage.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India. 

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only. 

Read 500 Words Essay on Dowry System

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people. 

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Concepts of Marriage

There is no theoretical concept of marriage. Because for everyone these concepts will keep on changing. But there are some basic concepts which are common in every marriage. These concepts are children, communication , problem-solving , and influences. Here, children may be the most considerable issue. Because many think that having a child is a stressful thing. While others do not believe it. But one thing is sure that having children will change the couple’s life. Now there is someone else besides them whose responsibilities and duties are to be done by the parents. 

Another concept in marriage is problem-solving where it is important to realize that you can live on your own every day. Thus, it is important to find solutions to some misunderstandings together. This is one of the essential parts of a marriage. Communication also plays a huge role in marriage. Thus, the couple should act friends, in fact, be,t friends. There should be no secret between the couple and no one should hide anything. So, both persons should do what they feel comfortable. It is not necessary to think that marriage is difficult and thus it makes you feel busy and unhappy all the time. 

Marriage is like a huge painting where you brush your movements and create your own love story. 

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The Love and Marriage Relationship Analysis Essay (Critical Writing)

Introduction, critique of the ‘significance of romantic love for marriage’, a critique of ‘marriage in the eleven cultures’.

Social psychology is a special branch of mentality study because it deals with how we think, believe, and act. Indeed, many beliefs have been propagated by some individuals in matters of intimate relationships. Few of the beliefs are right, but innumerable of such principles may emerge as insufficient in countless ways.

For instance, there is a popular belief among diverse writers and some psychologists that love is a requirement for stable intimate relationships such as marriage (Daniel, 2020). To such individuals, it is love that brings two people together in such a way that they feel the exigency to commit to each other for an eternity. In addition, the affection itself is used as a measure of the strength of the marital relationship (Daniel, 2020). The existing emotional disposition at the beginning of the marriage sets the expectations for both couples so high that when trouble rocks their future marital life, stability becomes problematic (Daniel, 2020). Without a doubt, people who believe in love as a precondition for marriage have no regard for arranged marriages.

In the article “The significance of romantic love for marriage,” research was conducted to establish the relationship between love and marriage. The study was conducted on 605 subjects who were grouped as married or single, stable or divorced partners, among many other aspects (Willi, 1997, p.171). The author continues to explain why he was inspired to do the investigation. He writes, “It continues to be mysterious why certain marriages are successful and others are not” (Willi, 1997, p.171). The author summarizes the context particulars with key hypotheses that his exploration intended to address. Analytically, the details presented by the writer gives are clear and devoid of ambiguity that some researches on relationship science may contain (Miller, 2018). In essence, the introductory facts that the author has provided are specified and give any reader who is not a psychologist a rough idea of what the research is all about.

The article has also elaborated on the research method that was used to achieve its main objective. Specifically, questionnaires are used in the research, and each questionnaire consists of fifty-eight questions, which are subdivided into four distinctive parts (Willi, 1997, p.171). Sociodemographic statements are extracted from the subjects and their partners. Respondents’ extent of happiness and satisfaction in eleven areas of their relationships is then explored (Willi, 1997). The ratings for satisfaction in all the areas are given at a scale of between 1 to 7, with 1 denoting the lowest level and 7 – the highest.

The most important aspect is then investigated by the respondents, on when they did fall in love with their current partners, whether it was love at first sight or not (Willi, 1997). Therefore the questionnaires were administered in an orderly manner, and they rotated around the topic of love as the research had indicated. This shows that the researcher was determined to obtain accurate results from the subjects with the least, and that is the strength of the research.

After the questionnaires were administered to the specific subjects in the research, several results were obtained. The author, Willi, gives the summary of his results under four subtopics with respect to the category in which the results were obtained. According to Willi (1997), the investigation had a total of 418 women and 187 men as the main subjects (p. 172). Other results have been tabulated, and the descriptive statistics are well indicated in the article. Here again, lies the strength of the research as it systematically presents the key results without interpretation, in an orderly and logical sequence using illustrative materials such as tables (Miller, 2018). The statistical test results have also been included in the results section, and to a large extent, this shows how the research is organized.

However, the research has its share of weaknesses that need to be addressed by future researchers. The type of research that Willi has employed in this case is descriptive research because he uses some numbers to quantify the parameters which he investigates (Miller, 2018). From a psychological point of view, it is very difficult to determine a cause and an effect from descriptive research (Miller, 2018). For instance, the research talks of having a happy marriage as a result of love between the partners. Even if the respondents who attribute their stable marriage life to love explain their case, the researchers cannot determine any truth. As such, no conclusion can be made that a stable marriage emanated from love. In essence, the research that was conducted is susceptible to errors because it relied heavily on descriptive research only.

Additionally, the article has some weaknesses in the discussion section that the author either intentionally or accidentally omitted. Instead of clarifying several issues relating to the results, the author discusses the selection of his sample and why it represents a whole lot of the Swiss population (Willi, 1997). More precisely, the research article should have talked about the potential limitations and weaknesses of his study because he has not clearly stated the conclusion (Miller, 2018). Evidently, the omission of the weaknesses and limitations in the discussion of the research article does not give a relative importance to the interpretation of the results that the researcher has indicated. Nonetheless, the results that are obtained from the research show that love is significant to a happy marriage or partnership.

Another article that is of great importance to social psychologists is “Love and marriage in the eleven cultures.” The research was intended to demystify the common stereotypic thought that American society considered love as a necessary precondition for marriage (Levine et al., 1995). According to the article, there have been few studies to conclude that indeed the American society views love as a prerequisite for marriage. More interestingly, the authors give background information by stating the loopholes which were in the previous studies that showed that actually love was significantly associated with marriage (Levine et al., 1995). In order to bring more generality to the issue of love and marriage, the authors cross-examine the cross-cultural preponderance of the importance that is placed on marriages (Levine et al., 1995). Simply put, the study tries to explain the relationship that exists between cultural differences and the importance of love to marital decisions (Miller, 2018). This is the best article because it compares relatively many countries’ subjects as compared to other studies before. As a matter of fact, the background information of the article is its strength.

More explicitly, the study was conducted on some students who were doing liberal arts studies from eleven different countries. Though not clear which method was used, it was probably the questionnaire or the interview method because the article states that the subjects were asked certain questions. Certainly, this was a strength for the research studies as it guarantees the accuracy of the data that has been collected and from the students (Miller, 2018). On the other hand, the fact that the students were all doing liberal arts makes the information to be skewed since their field of studies is associated with the exploration of social arts in some ways. Substantially, this can make the study have some form of predetermined outcome, which can affect the reliability of the investigation.

The results of the study also show the systematic way in which the information is categorized. From the results, many students agreed, regardless of their country of origin, that if love completely disappears from marriage, then it would be better if couples make a clean break and start their lives over (Levine et al., 1995). Strikingly though, quite a number of students agreed to the question that the disappearance of love should not be a sufficient decision for ending a relationship (Levine et al., 1995). Some would argue that the research was confusing to the students, but the truth is that the results are rigorous, and therefore that alone guarantees the quality of the collected data. Therefore, the organization of the study results and the conciseness of the questions which were addressed to the students make the research possess the required strengths of a good research article.

In as much as the article has a well-structured discussion section, it has some inadequacies. Firstly, the study shows that there existed strong cross-cultural differences in beliefs about love as a precondition for establishing a marriage (Levine et al., 1995). Secondly, the study also postulates that there were substantial cross-cultural differences in beliefs on love to sustain relationships (Levine et al., 1995). All the arguments that the research advances are premised on the hypothesis that was initially established. Nevertheless, the discussion section does not give any comparison to any similar study that has been done before but rather complements such studies. The study is in support of the idea that prior findings for the US, indicating relatively few sex differences in credence in the necessity of romantic love in marriage as also accurate for other countries (Levine et al., 1995). Apparently, the article was propagating the ideas of other researches that were conducted before and did not actually compare. In point of fact, this is a great weakness on the part of the article as it does not provide alternatives for further interpretations of the earlier studies.

In summary, I find the two articles that talk about the relationship between love and marriage as appealing texts in view of psychosocial analysis. While “The significance of romantic love for marriage” posits that love is a prerequisite in maintaining a stable marriage, “Love and marriage in the eleven cultures” brings a new dimension to the discussion. As clearly evident through analysis of the second article, love itself is a precondition for marriage in most Westernized countries such as the US, followed closely by the Latin American countries such as Brazil. Based on the article “Love and marriage in the eleven cultures,” I find the argument that love is a prerequisite for a stable marriage to be partially true. An important reason why I base my conclusions on the article is that it posits that the thought of love as a precondition to marriage was an idea that many thought to be American only. It is only after the research, was when it was realized that the idea was widespread all over the world.

Daniel, S. (2020). How important is love in a marriage? . Professor’s House. Web.

Levine, R., Sato, S., Hashimoto, T., & Verma, J. (1995). Love and marriage in eleven cultures . Journal of Cross Cultural Psychology , 26 , 554-571. Web.

Miller, R. (2018). Intimate Relationships (8 th ed.). Mc Graw Hill education.

Willi, J. (1997). The significance of romantic love for marriage . Family Process , 36 (2), 171-182. Web.

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Essays About Love and Relationships: Top 5 Examples

Love, romance, and relationships are just as complicated and messy as they are fascinating. Read our guide on essays about love and relationships.

We, as humans, are social beings. Humanity is inclined towards living with others of our kind and forming relationships with them. Love, whether in a romantic context or otherwise, is essential to a strong relationship with someone. It can be used to describe familial, friendly, or romantic relationships; however, it most commonly refers to romantic partners. 

Love and relationships are difficult to understand, but with effort, devotion, and good intentions, they can blossom into something beautiful that will stay with you for life. This is why it is important to be able to discern wisely when choosing a potential partner.

5 Essay Examples

1. love and marriage by kannamma shanmugasundaram, 2. what my short-term relationships taught me about love and life by aaron zhu, 3. true love waits by christine barrett, 4. choosing the right relationship by robert solley, 5. masters of love by emily esfahani smith, 1. what is a healthy romantic relationship, 2. a favorite love story, 3. relationship experiences, 4. lessons relationships can teach you, 5. love and relationships in the 21st century, 6. is marriage necessary for true love.

“In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad.”

Shanmugasundaram’s essay looks at marriage in Eastern Cultures, such as her Indian traditions, in which women have less freedom and are often forced into arranged marriages. Shanmugasundaram discusses her differing views with her parents over marriage; they prefer to stick to tradition while she, influenced by Western values, wants to choose for herself. Ultimately, she has compromised with her parents: they will have a say in who she marries, but it will be up to her to make the final decision. She will only marry who she loves. 

“There is no forever, I’ve been promised forever by so many exes that it’s as meaningless to me as a homeless person promising me a pot of gold. From here on out, I’m no longer looking for promises of forever, what I want is the promise that you’ll try your best and you’ll be worth it. Don’t promise me forever, promise me that there will be no regrets.”

In Zhu’s essay, he reflects on his lessons regarding love and relationships. His experiences with past partners have taught him many things, including self-worth and the inability to change others. Most interestingly, however, he believes that “forever” does not exist and that going into a relationship, they should commit to as long as possible, not “forever.” Furthermore, they should commit to making the relationship worthwhile without regret. 

“For life is a constant change, love is the greatest surprise, friendship is your best defense, maturity comes with responsibility and death is just around the corner, so, expect little, assume nothing, learn from your mistakes, never fail to have faith that true love waits, take care of your friends, treasure your family, moderate your pride and throw up all hatred for God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds, reminding us not to force our way but to wait for true love to happen perfectly in His time.”

Barrett writes about how teenagers often feel the need to be in a relationship or feel “love” as soon as possible. But unfortunately, our brains are not fully matured in our teenage years, so we are more likely to make mistakes. Barrett discourages teenagers from dating so early; she believes that they should let life take its course and enjoy life at the moment. Her message is that they shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up, for true love will come to those who are patient. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment and essays about girlfriends .

“A paucity of common interests gets blamed when relationships go south, but they are rarely the central problem. Nonetheless, it is good to have some — mostly in terms of having enough in common that there are things that you enjoy spending time doing together. The more important domains to consider are personality and values, and when it comes to personality, the key question is how does your potential partner handle stress.”

Solley, from a more psychological perspective, gives tips on how one can choose the ideal person to be in a relationship with. Love is a lifetime commitment, so much thought should be put into it. One should look at culture, values regarding spending money, and common interests. Solley believes that you should not always look for someone with the same interests, for what makes a relationship interesting is the partners’ differences and how they look past them. 

“There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: Either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.”

Smith discusses research conducted over many years that explains the different aspects of a relationship, including intimacy, emotional strength, and kindness. She discusses kindness in-depth, saying that a relationship can test your kindness, but you must be willing to work to be kind if you love your partner. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

6 Writing Prompts On Essays About Love and Relationships

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. For example, some prioritize assertiveness in their partner, while others prefer a calmer demeanor. You can write about different qualities and habits that a healthy, respectful relationship needs, such as quality time and patience. If you have personal experience, reflect on this as well; however, if you don’t, write about what you would hope from your future partner. 

Love and relationships have been an essential element in almost every literary work, movie, and television show; an example of each would be Romeo and Juliet , The Fault in Our Stars , and Grey’s Anatomy . Even seemingly unrelated movies, such as the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, have a romantic component. Describe a love story of your choice; explain its plot, characters, and, most importantly, how the theme of love and relationships is present. 

If you have been in a romantic relationship before, or if you are in one currently, reflect on your experience. Why did you pursue this relationship? Explore your relationship’s positive and negative sides and, if applicable, how it ended. If not, write about how you will try and prevent the relationship from ending.

All our experiences in life form us, relationships included. In your essay, reflect on ways romantic relationships can teach you new things and make you better; consider values such as self-worth, patience, and positivity. Then, as with the other prompts, use your personal experiences for a more interesting essay. Hou might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

How love, romance, and relationships are perceived has changed dramatically in recent years; from the nuclear family, we have seen greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, blended families, and relationships with more than two partners—research on how the notion of romantic relationships has changed and discuss this in your essay. 

More and more people in relationships are deciding not to get married. For a strong argumentative essay, discuss whether you agree with the idea that true love does not require marriage, so it is fine not to get married in the first place. Research the arguments of both sides, then make your claim. 

Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

• Love & Relationships

The Science Behind Happy Relationships

W hen it comes to relationships , most of us are winging it. We’re exhilarated by the early stages of love , but as we move onto the general grind of everyday life, personal baggage starts to creep in and we can find ourselves floundering in the face of hurt feelings, emotional withdrawal, escalating conflict, insufficient coping techniques and just plain boredom. There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.

But a growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples — and how to make any struggling relationship better. As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.

Maintaining a strong emotional connection

“The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love .

That responsiveness, in a nutshell, is all about sending a cue and having the other person respond to it. “The $99 million question in love is, ‘Are you there for me?’” says Johnson. “It’s not just, ‘Are you my friend and will you help me with the chores?’ It’s about emotional synchronicity and being tuned in.”

“Every couple has differences,” continues Johnson. “What makes couples unhappy is when they have an emotional disconnection and they can’t get a feeling of secure base or safe haven with this person.” She notes that criticism and rejection — often met with defensiveness and withdrawal — are exceedingly distressing, and something that our brain interprets as a danger cue.

To foster emotional responsiveness between partners, Johnson pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy , in which couples learn to bond through having conversations that express needs and avoid criticism. “Couples have to learn how to talk about feelings in ways that brings the other person closer,” says Johnson.

Keeping things positive

According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute , an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity. “When that happens, people feel like they’re just moving further and further apart until they don’t even know each other anymore,” says Cole. That focus on positivity is why the Gottman Institute has embraced the motto “small things often.” The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and that research drives the Institute’s psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, routine points of contact that demonstrate appreciation.

One easy place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner every day, says Cole — whether it’s expressing your appreciation for something they’ve done or telling them, specifically, what you love about them. This exercise can accomplish two beneficial things: First, it validates your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person in the first place.

Listen to the brain, not just your heart

When it comes to the brain and love, biological anthropologist and Kinsey Institute senior fellow Helen Fisher has found — after putting people into a brain scanner — that there are three essential neuro-chemical components found in people who report high relationship satisfaction: practicing empathy, controlling one’s feelings and stress and maintaining positive views about your partner.

In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: “Keep your mouth shut and don’t act out,” says Fisher. If you can’t help yourself from getting mad, take a break by heading out to the gym, reading a book, playing with the dog or calling a friend — anything to get off a destructive path. Keeping positive views of your partner, which Fisher calls “positive illusions,” are all about reducing the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative aspects of your relationship. “No partner is perfect, and the brain is well built to remember the nasty things that were said,” says Fisher. “But if you can overlook those things and just focus on what’s important, it’s good for the body, good for the mind and good for the relationship.”

Happier relationships, happier life

Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life. “Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson. “When we know how to heal [relationships] and keep them strong, they make us resilient. All these clichés about how love makes us stronger aren’t just clichés; it’s physiology. Connection with people who love and value us is our only safety net in life.”

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Argumentative Essay: Marriage

Once you reach a certain age or a certain amount of time spent with the same partner, especially as a woman, friends and family will inevitably start asking questions about marriage or even downright pressure you into taking this step. But is getting married such a good idea? I believe not, since, nowadays, at least in the developed countries, it doesn’t bring truly valuable benefits.

Marriage is no longer necessary legally or practically. Once upon a time, for a woman, getting married meant ensuring financial security and gaining access to a variety of legal rights they wouldn’t dream of otherwise. But now, in the modern world, years after the feminist movement has established legal rights for women, we no longer need marriage to get access to certain benefits. Nowadays, women are highly educated and actually constitute the majority of the workforce in the US. Furthermore, we no longer require a marriage license to be allowed to visit our partner in the hospital, and, for a lot of us, getting married doesn’t even imply a tax break.

Marriage does not guarantee fidelity. Many people get married hoping that the sanctity of marriage will reduce the chances of being cheated on. But if your spouse doesn’t respect your relationship and is tempted to cheat, a piece of paper will have no power in preventing infidelity. Actually, it seems that in around half of marriages, one of the spouses will have an extra-marital relation at some point.

There’s no longer a stigma on you if you have a child without getting married. While, in the past, having a child before marriage was terrifying for a woman due to social stigmatization, nowadays, we’ve become considerably more open-minded. Actually, according to a Pew report, even in 2008, over 40 percent of births were to unmarried women – and the number has risen during the last few years. In addition, according to the HHS, a third of children adoptions in the US are by single parents or unmarried couples.

Marriage does not bring security in a relationship. There are too many people deciding to get married for the wrong reason. And one of them is thinking that it will ensure that “until death do us part”. While this may have been true a long time ago, or still is when it comes to very religious persons, marriage doesn’t ensure the security of the relationships in many of the cases. Though the divorce in the US rate has seen ups and downs during the last few years, it is still alarmingly higher compared to what it was a few decades ago. The only thing that will truly bring security is having a strong relationship, based on trust, no matter the legal status.

Love is mysterious and magical, and it should stay that way. And marriage, by definition, is just a contract. The beauty of love is that it is undefined, it is unique to you and your beloved one, and it is continually changing as you grow together. I neither need nor want my love to be defined in legal terms.

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