he was writing a thesis paper change the voice

Passive Voice

What this handout is about.

This handout will help you understand what the passive voice is, why many professors and writing instructors frown upon it, and how you can revise your paper to achieve greater clarity. Some things here may surprise you. We hope this handout will help you to understand the passive voice and allow you to make more informed choices as you write.

So what is the passive voice? First, let’s be clear on what the passive voice isn’t. Below, we’ll list some common myths about the passive voice:

1. Myth: Use of the passive voice constitutes a grammatical error.

Use of the passive voice is not a grammatical error. It’s a stylistic issue that pertains to clarity—that is, there are times when using the passive voice can prevent a reader from understanding what you mean.

2. Myth: Any use of “to be” (in any form) constitutes the passive voice.

The passive voice entails more than just using a being verb. Using “to be” can weaken the impact of your writing, but it is occasionally necessary and does not by itself constitute the passive voice.

3. Myth: The passive voice always avoids the first person; if something is in first person (“I” or “we”) it’s also in the active voice.

On the contrary, you can very easily use the passive voice in the first person. Here’s an example: “I was hit by the dodgeball.”

4. Myth: You should never use the passive voice.

While the passive voice can weaken the clarity of your writing, there are times when the passive voice is OK and even preferable.

5. Myth: I can rely on my grammar checker to catch the passive voice.

See Myth #1. Since the passive voice isn’t a grammar error, it’s not always caught. Typically, grammar checkers catch only a fraction of passive voice usage.

Do any of these misunderstandings sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. That’s why we wrote this handout. It discusses how to recognize the passive voice, when you should avoid it, and when it’s OK.

Defining the passive voice

A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a sentence. That is, whoever or whatever is performing the action is not the grammatical subject of the sentence. Take a look at this passive rephrasing of a familiar joke:

Why was the road crossed by the chicken?

Who is doing the action in this sentence? The chicken is the one doing the action in this sentence, but the chicken is not in the spot where you would expect the grammatical subject to be. Instead, the road is the grammatical subject. The more familiar phrasing (why did the chicken cross the road?) puts the actor in the subject position, the position of doing something—the chicken (the actor/doer) crosses the road (the object). We use active verbs to represent that “doing,” whether it be crossing roads, proposing ideas, making arguments, or invading houses (more on that shortly).

Once you know what to look for, passive constructions are easy to spot. Look for a form of “to be” (is, are, am, was, were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been, being) followed by a past participle. (The past participle is a form of the verb that typically, but not always, ends in “-ed.” Some exceptions to the “-ed” rule are words like “paid” (not “payed”) and “driven.” (not “drived”).

Here’s a sure-fire formula for identifying the passive voice:

form of “to be” + past participle = passive voice

For example:

The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath.

When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of ways to delay her remarriage.

Not every sentence that contains a form of “have” or “be” is passive! Forms of the word “have” can do several different things in English. For example, in the sentence “John has to study all afternoon,” “has” is not part of a past-tense verb. It’s a modal verb, like “must,” “can,” or “may”—these verbs tell how necessary it is to do something (compare “I have to study” versus “I may study”). And forms of “be” are not always passive, either—”be” can be the main verb of a sentence that describes a state of being, rather than an action. For example, the sentence “John is a good student” is not passive; “is” is simply describing John’s state of being. The moral of the story: don’t assume that any time you see a form of “have” and a form of “to be” together, you are looking at a passive sentence.

Need more help deciding whether a sentence is passive? Ask yourself whether there is an action going on in the sentence. If so, what is at the front of the sentence? Is it the person or thing that does the action? Or is it the person or thing that has the action done to it? In a passive sentence, the object of the action will be in the subject position at the front of the sentence. As discussed above, the sentence will also contain a form of be and a past participle. If the subject appears at all, it will usually be at the end of the sentence, often in a phrase that starts with “by.” Take a look at this example:

The fish was caught by the seagull.

If we ask ourselves whether there’s an action, the answer is yes: a fish is being caught. If we ask what’s at the front of the sentence, the actor or the object of the action, it’s the object: the fish, unfortunately for it, got caught, and there it is at the front of the sentence. The thing that did the catching—the seagull—is at the end, after “by.” There’s a form of be (was) and a past participle (caught). This sentence is passive.

Let’s briefly look at how to change passive constructions into active ones. You can usually just switch the word order, making the actor and subject one by putting the actor up front:

The dragon has scorched the metropolis with his fiery breath.

After suitors invaded her house, Penelope had to think of ways to delay her remarriage.

To repeat, the key to identifying the passive voice is to look for both a form of “to be” and a past participle, which usually, but not always, ends in “-ed.”

Clarity and meaning

The primary reason why your instructors frown on the passive voice is that they often have to guess what you mean. Sometimes, the confusion is minor. Let’s look again at that sentence from a student’s paper on Homer’s The Odyssey:

Like many passive constructions, this sentence lacks explicit reference to the actor—it doesn’t tell the reader who or what invaded Penelope’s house. The active voice clarifies things:

After suitors invaded Penelope’s house, she had to think of ways to fend them off.

Thus many instructors—the readers making sense of your writing—prefer that you use the active voice. They want you to specify who or what is doing the action. Compare the following two examples from an anthropology paper on a Laotian village to see if you agree.

(passive)  A new system of drug control laws was set up. (By whom?)

(active)  The Lao People’s Revolutionary Party set up a new system of drug control laws.

Here’s another example, from the same paper, that illustrates the lack of precision that can accompany the passive voice:

Gender training was conducted in six villages, thus affecting social relationships.

And a few pages later:

Plus, marketing links were being established.

In both paragraphs, the writer never specifies the actors for those two actions (Who did the gender training? Who established marketing links?). Thus the reader has trouble appreciating the dynamics of these social interactions, which depend upon the actors conducting and establishing these things.

The following example, once again from that paper on The Odyssey, typifies another instance where an instructor might desire more precision and clarity:

Although Penelope shares heroic characteristics with her husband, Odysseus, she is not considered a hero.

Who does not consider Penelope a hero? It’s difficult to tell, but the rest of that paragraph suggests that the student does not consider Penelope a hero (the topic of the paper). The reader might also conceivably think that the student is referring to critics, scholars, or modern readers of The Odyssey. One might argue that the meaning comes through here—the problem is merely stylistic. Yet style affects how your reader understands your argument and content. Awkward or unclear style prevents your reader from appreciating the ideas that are so clear to you when you write. Thus knowing how your reader might react enables you to make more effective choices when you revise. So after you identify instances of the passive, you should consider whether your use of the passive inhibits clear understanding of what you mean.

Summarizing history or literary plots with the passive voice: don’t be a lazy thinker or writer!

With the previous section in mind, you should also know that some instructors proclaim that the passive voice signals sloppy, lazy thinking. These instructors argue that writers who overuse the passive voice have not fully thought through what they are discussing and that this makes for imprecise arguments. Consider these sentences from papers on American history:

The working class was marginalized. African Americans were discriminated against. Women were not treated as equals.

Such sentences lack the precision and connection to context and causes that mark rigorous thinking. The reader learns little about the systems, conditions, human decisions, and contradictions that produced these groups’ experiences of oppression. And so the reader—the instructor—questions the writer’s understanding of these things.

It is especially important to be sure that your thesis statement is clear and precise, so think twice before using the passive voice in your thesis.

In papers where you discuss the work of an author—e.g., a historian or writer of literature—you can also strengthen your writing by not relying on the passive as a crutch when summarizing plots or arguments. Instead of writing:

It is argued that… or  Tom and Huck are portrayed as… or  And then the link between X and Y is made, showing that…

you can heighten the level of your analysis by explicitly connecting an author with these statements:

Anderson argues that… Twain portrays Tom and Huck as… Ishiguro draws a link between X and Y to show that…

By avoiding passive constructions in these situations, you can demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the material you discuss.

Scientific writing

All this advice works for papers in the humanities, you might note—but what about technical or scientific papers, including lab reports? Many instructors recommend or even require the passive voice in such writing. The rationale for using the passive voice in scientific writing is that it achieves “an objective tone”—for example, by avoiding the first person. To consider scientific writing, let’s break it up into two main types: lab reports and writing about a scientific topic or literature.

Lab reports

Although more and more scientific journals accept or even prefer first-person active voice (e.g., “then we sequenced the human genome”), some of your instructors may want you to remove yourself from your lab report by using the passive voice (e.g., “then the human genome was sequenced” rather than “then we sequenced the human genome”). Such advice particularly applies to the section on Materials and Methods, where a procedure “is followed.” (For a fuller discussion on writing lab reports, see our handout on writing lab reports .)

While you might employ the passive voice to retain objectivity, you can still use active constructions in some instances and retain your objective stance. Thus it’s useful to keep in mind the sort of active verbs you might use in lab reports. Examples include: support, indicate, suggest, correspond, challenge, yield, show.

Thus instead of writing:

A number of things are indicated by these results.

you could write:

These results indicate a number of things . or Further analysis showed/suggested/yielded…

Ultimately, you should find out your instructor’s preference regarding your use of the passive in lab reports.

Writing about scientific topics

In some assignments, rather than reporting the results of your own scientific work, you will be writing about the work of other scientists. Such assignments might include literature reviews and research reports on scientific topics. You have two main possible tasks in these assignments: reporting what other people have done (their research or experiments) or indicating general scientific knowledge (the body of knowledge coming out of others’ research). Often the two go together. In both instances, you can easily use active constructions even though you might be tempted by the passive—especially if you’re used to writing your own lab reports in the passive.

You decide: Which of these two examples is clearer?

(passive) Heart disease is considered the leading cause of death in the United States.

or (active)  Research points to heart disease as the leading cause of death in the United States.

Alternatively, you could write this sentence with human actors:

Researchers have concluded that heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States.

The last two sentences illustrate a relationship that the first one lacks. The first example does not tell who or what leads us to accept this conclusion about heart disease.

Here’s one last example from a report that describes angioplasty. Which sounds better to you?

The balloon is positioned in an area of blockage and is inflated. or The surgeon positions the balloon in an area of blockage and inflates it.

You can improve your scientific writing by relying less on the passive. The advice we’ve given for papers on history or literature equally applies to papers in more “scientific” courses. No matter what field you’re writing in, when you use the passive voice, you risk conveying to your reader a sense of uncertainty and imprecision regarding your writing and thinking. The key is to know when your instructor wants you to use the passive voice. For a more general discussion of writing in the sciences , see our handout.

“Swindles and perversions”

Before we discuss a few instances when the passive might be preferable, we should mention one of the more political uses of the passive: to hide blame or obscure responsibility. You wouldn’t do this, but you can learn how to become a critic of those who exhibit what George Orwell included among the “swindles and perversions” of writing. For example:

Mistakes were made.

The Exxon Company accepts that a few gallons might have been spilled.

By becoming critically aware of how others use language to shape clarity and meaning, you can learn how better to revise your own work. Keep Orwell’s swindles and perversions in mind as you read other writers. Because it’s easy to leave the actor out of passive sentences, some people use the passive voice to avoid mentioning who is responsible for certain actions.

So when is it OK to use the passive?

Sometimes the passive voice is the best choice. Here are a few instances when the passive voice is quite useful:

1. To emphasize an object. Take a look at this example:

One hundred votes are required to pass the bill.

This passive sentence emphasizes the number of votes required. An active version of the sentence (“The bill requires 100 votes to pass”) would put the emphasis on the bill, which may be less dramatic.

2. To de-emphasize an unknown subject/actor. Consider this example:

Over 120 different contaminants have been dumped into the river.

If you don’t know who the actor is—in this case, if you don’t actually know who dumped all of those contaminants in the river—then you may need to write in the passive. But remember, if you do know the actor, and if the clarity and meaning of your writing would benefit from indicating him/her/it/them, then use an active construction. Yet consider the third case.

3. If your readers don’t need to know who’s responsible for the action.

Here’s where your choice can be difficult; some instances are less clear than others. Try to put yourself in your reader’s position to anticipate how they will react to the way you have phrased your thoughts. Here are two examples:

(passive)  Baby Sophia was delivered at 3:30 a.m. yesterday.

and (active)  Dr. Susan Jones delivered baby Sophia at 3:30 a.m. yesterday.

The first sentence might be more appropriate in a birth announcement sent to family and friends—they are not likely to know Dr. Jones and are much more interested in the “object”(the baby) than in the actor (the doctor). A hospital report of yesterday’s events might be more likely to focus on Dr. Jones’ role.

Summary of strategies

• Look for the passive voice: “to be” + a past participle (usually, but not always, ending in “-ed”)
• If you don’t see both components, move on.
• Does the sentence describe an action? If so, where is the actor? Is he/she/it in the grammatical subject position (at the front of the sentence) or in the object position (at the end of the sentence, or missing entirely)?
• Does the sentence end with “by…”? Many passive sentences include the actor at the end of the sentence in a “by” phrase, like “The ball was hit by the player ” or “The shoe was chewed up by the dog .” “By” by itself isn’t a conclusive sign of the passive voice, but it can prompt you to take a closer look.
• Is the doer/actor indicated? Should you indicate him/her/them/it?
• Does it really matter who’s responsible for the action?
• Would your reader ask you to clarify a sentence because of an issue related to your use of the passive?
• Do you use a passive construction in your thesis statement?
• Do you use the passive as a crutch in summarizing a plot or history, or in describing something?
• Do you want to emphasize the object?
• If you decide that your sentence would be clearer in the active voice, switch the sentence around to make the subject and actor one. Put the actor (the one doing the action of the sentence) in front of the verb.

Towards active thinking and writing

We encourage you to keep these tips in mind as you revise. While you may be able to employ this advice as you write your first draft, that’s not necessarily always possible. In writing, clarity often comes when you revise, not on your first try. Don’t worry about the passive if that stress inhibits you in getting your ideas down on paper. But do look for it when you revise. Actively make choices about its proper place in your writing. There is nothing grammatically or otherwise “wrong” about using the passive voice. The key is to recognize when you should, when you shouldn’t, and when your instructor just doesn’t want you to. These choices are yours. We hope this handout helps you to make them.

Works consulted and suggested reading

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Baron, Dennis E. 1989. “The Passive Voice Can Be Your Friend.” In Declining Grammar and Other Essays on the English Vocabulary , 17-22. Urbana, IL: National Council of Teachers.

Hjortshoj, Keith. 2001. The Transition to College Writing . New York: Bedford/St Martin’s.

Lanham, Richard A. 2006. Revising Prose , 5th ed. New York: Pearson Longman.

Orwell, George. 1968. “Politics and the English Language.” In The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters of George Orwell , edited by Ian Angus and Sonia Orwell, 4: 127-140. New York: Harcourt, Brace, Javanovich.

Rosen, Leonard J., and Laurence Behrens. 2000. The Allyn and Bacon Handbook , 4th ed. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

Strunk, William, and E.B. White. 2000. The Elements of Style , 4th ed. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

Trimble, John R. 2000. Writing With Style , 2nd ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Williams, Joseph, and Joseph Bizup. 2017. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace , 12th ed. Boston: Pearson.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Make a Gift

We Vs. They: Using the First & Third Person in Research Papers

Writing in the first , second , or third person is referred to as the author’s point of view . When we write, our tendency is to personalize the text by writing in the first person . That is, we use pronouns such as “I” and “we”. This is acceptable when writing personal information, a journal, or a book. However, it is not common in academic writing.

Some writers find the use of first , second , or third person point of view a bit confusing while writing research papers. Since second person is avoided while writing in academic or scientific papers, the main confusion remains within first or third person.

In the following sections, we will discuss the usage and examples of the first , second , and third person point of view.

First Person Pronouns

The first person point of view simply means that we use the pronouns that refer to ourselves in the text. These are as follows:

Can we use I or We In the Scientific Paper?

Using these, we present the information based on what “we” found. In science and mathematics, this point of view is rarely used. It is often considered to be somewhat self-serving and arrogant . It is important to remember that when writing your research results, the focus of the communication is the research and not the persons who conducted the research. When you want to persuade the reader, it is best to avoid personal pronouns in academic writing even when it is personal opinion from the authors of the study. In addition to sounding somewhat arrogant, the strength of your findings might be underestimated.

For example:

Based on my results, I concluded that A and B did not equal to C.

In this example, the entire meaning of the research could be misconstrued. The results discussed are not those of the author ; they are generated from the experiment. To refer to the results in this context is incorrect and should be avoided. To make it more appropriate, the above sentence can be revised as follows:

Based on the results of the assay, A and B did not equal to C.

Second Person Pronouns

The second person point of view uses pronouns that refer to the reader. These are as follows:

This point of view is usually used in the context of providing instructions or advice , such as in “how to” manuals or recipe books. The reason behind using the second person is to engage the reader.

You will want to buy a turkey that is large enough to feed your extended family. Before cooking it, you must wash it first thoroughly with cold water.

Although this is a good technique for giving instructions, it is not appropriate in academic or scientific writing.

Third Person Pronouns

The third person point of view uses both proper nouns, such as a person’s name, and pronouns that refer to individuals or groups (e.g., doctors, researchers) but not directly to the reader. The ones that refer to individuals are as follows:

• Hers (possessive form)
• His (possessive form)
• Its (possessive form)
• One’s (possessive form)

The third person point of view that refers to groups include the following:

• Their (possessive form)
• Theirs (plural possessive form)

Everyone at the convention was interested in what Dr. Johnson presented. The instructors decided that the students should help pay for lab supplies. The researchers determined that there was not enough sample material to conduct the assay.

The third person point of view is generally used in scientific papers but, at times, the format can be difficult. We use indefinite pronouns to refer back to the subject but must avoid using masculine or feminine terminology. For example:

A researcher must ensure that he has enough material for his experiment. The nurse must ensure that she has a large enough blood sample for her assay.

Many authors attempt to resolve this issue by using “he or she” or “him or her,” but this gets cumbersome and too many of these can distract the reader. For example:

A researcher must ensure that he or she has enough material for his or her experiment. The nurse must ensure that he or she has a large enough blood sample for his or her assay.

These issues can easily be resolved by making the subjects plural as follows:

Researchers must ensure that they have enough material for their experiment. Nurses must ensure that they have large enough blood samples for their assay.

Exceptions to the Rules

As mentioned earlier, the third person is generally used in scientific writing, but the rules are not quite as stringent anymore. It is now acceptable to use both the first and third person pronouns  in some contexts, but this is still under controversy.  

In a February 2011 blog on Eloquent Science , Professor David M. Schultz presented several opinions on whether the author viewpoints differed. However, there appeared to be no consensus. Some believed that the old rules should stand to avoid subjectivity, while others believed that if the facts were valid, it didn’t matter which point of view was used.

First or Third Person: What Do The Journals Say

In general, it is acceptable in to use the first person point of view in abstracts, introductions, discussions, and conclusions, in some journals. Even then, avoid using “I” in these sections. Instead, use “we” to refer to the group of researchers that were part of the study. The third person point of view is used for writing methods and results sections. Consistency is the key and switching from one point of view to another within sections of a manuscript can be distracting and is discouraged. It is best to always check your author guidelines for that particular journal. Once that is done, make sure your manuscript is free from the above-mentioned or any other grammatical error.

You are the only researcher involved in your thesis project. You want to avoid using the first person point of view throughout, but there are no other researchers on the project so the pronoun “we” would not be appropriate. What do you do and why? Please let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.

I am writing the history of an engineering company for which I worked. How do I relate a significant incident that involved me?

Hi Roger, Thank you for your question. If you are narrating the history for the company that you worked at, you would have to refer to it from an employee’s perspective (third person). If you are writing the history as an account of your experiences with the company (including the significant incident), you could refer to yourself as ”I” or ”My.” (first person) You could go through other articles related to language and grammar on Enago Academy’s website https://enago.com/academy/ to help you with your document drafting. Did you get a chance to install our free Mobile App? https://www.enago.com/academy/mobile-app/ . Make sure you subscribe to our weekly newsletter: https://www.enago.com/academy/subscribe-now/ .

Good day , i am writing a research paper and m y setting is a company . is it ethical to put the name of the company in the research paper . i the management has allowed me to conduct my research in thir company .

thanks docarlene diaz

Generally authors do not mention the names of the organization separately within the research paper. The name of the educational institution the researcher or the PhD student is working in needs to be mentioned along with the name in the list of authors. However, if the research has been carried out in a company, it might not be mandatory to mention the name after the name in the list of authors. You can check with the author guidelines of your target journal and if needed confirm with the editor of the journal. Also check with the mangement of the company whether they want the name of the company to be mentioned in the research paper.

Finishing up my dissertation the information is clear and concise.

How to write the right first person pronoun if there is a single researcher? Thanks

Rate this article Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Enago Academy's Most Popular Articles

Sign-up to read more

Subscribe for free to get unrestricted access to all our resources on research writing and academic publishing including:

• 2000+ blog articles
• 50+ Webinars
• 10+ Expert podcasts
• 50+ Infographics
• 10+ Checklists
• Research Guides

We hate spam too. We promise to protect your privacy and never spam you.

I am looking for Editing/ Proofreading services for my manuscript Tentative date of next journal submission:

What should universities' stance be on AI tools in research and academic writing?

• How It Works
• Prices & Discounts

Active Voice vs Passive Voice in Essay Writing: What's the Difference?

Table of contents

Every type of writing spanning academic assignments, research proposals, movie or book reviews , newspaper articles, technical or scientific writing, and more, requires a verb in the sentence to express an action being taken.

Essentially, we know that there are two types of voices in writing – active voice vs. passive voice. Both voices have a different sentence structure, length, purpose, and tone of writing.

Now when you analyze your writing, you would be able to find specific sentences that pop out and leave a mark on the reader while some sentences remain bland and unengaging.

This will determine your active voice sentences and your passive voice sentences.

You think to yourself, “how do I choose the right voice for my writing?”

What is Active Voice in Essay Writing

In a sentence, the active voice is used when the subject or person in this specific sentence is the one who is carrying out an action that was represented by the verb. The subject is always a noun or a pronoun and this voice is used to express information in a stronger, more direct, clear, and easier-to-read way than passive voice sentences.

Active voice highlights a logical flow to your sentences and makes your writing feel alive and current – which is pivotal to use in your formal academic writing assignments to get top-scoring grades.

Limited Time Offer: 20% Discount on Custom Paper [Order Now]

What is passive voice in essay writing.

The passive voice, in a sentence, is used to emphasize the action taken place by the subject according to the verb. In this, the passive phrase always contains a conjugated form of ‘to be’ and the past participle of the main verb.

Due to this, passive sentences also include prepositions, which makes them longer and wordier than active voice sentences.

Active Voice vs. Passive Voice

Now, let us understand the difference between active voice vs. passive voice in writing.

The choice between using active voice vs. passive voice in writing always comes down to the requirements that are suitable for the type of sentences you choose to write.

For most of the writing that you do, be it blogs, emails, different types of academic essays, and more, an active voice is ideal to use for communicating and expressing your thoughts, facts, and ideas more clearly and efficiently. This way, your essay papers or other academic assessments stand out amongst the rest.

Use your judgment to write in an active voice if accuracy is not an important aspect, and always keep your readers in mind. In this case, academic writing teachers - ranging from middle school to college/universities, prefer reading your assignments in an active voice as it makes your arguments, thoughts, and sentence structures confident, brief, and compelling.

However, there are a few exceptions to using passive voice

• If the reader is aware of the subject;
• In expository writing (where the primary goal is to provide an explanation or a context);
• Crime reports, data analysis;
• Scientific and technical writing.

Passive voice is majorly used while writing assignments that direct the reader's focus onto the specific action taking place rather than the subject. It is also used when you need an authoritative tone, like on a banner or a sign on a bulletin board.

Passive voice is ideally used when the person involved in the action is not known and/or is insignificant. Similarly, if you are writing something that requires you to be objective with its solution and analysis – like a research paper, lab report , or newspaper article – using passive voice should be your go-to choice. This allows you to avoid personal pronouns, which in turn, helps you present your analysis or information in an unbiased and coherent way.

However, if your writing is meant to engage your target audience, such as a novel, then writing your sentences with a passive voice will not only flatten your content and make your writing clumsy to read, but your paper would also inherit all the extra words that would make your write-ups vague and too wordy.

2. Examples of active and passive voice

Every active voice sentence contains a form of action that is taking place by the subject. An interesting fact is that they can be written in any tense – past tense, present tense, past perfect tense, future tense, and more.

An active voice always emits a sense of agency and strength in your writing.

Here are some examples of active voice sentence structuring

• Kaitlyn worked on her upcoming novel all day long.
• Our professor will reveal this week’s surprise assignment.
• The police know that the accused is a flight risk.
• A baby monkey bit Sasha on her leg.
• I presented my research thesis to the class.
• Malek proposed the methods & principles by which each product could be analyzed.
• We will ride a train to go to Switzerland.
• I conducted a study of criminal psychology.
• The gardener was planting the Hydrangeas.

Whereas passive voice sentence structures are lengthier in words and are used when the subject or person is the recipient of an action. Passive voice in writing often conveys subtlety, submissiveness, and lack of engagement.

Moreover, just like active sentences, passive sentence structures do not need to be dependent on the verb, as they can occur in the past tense, the future tense, the subjunctive, etc.

Here are some examples of passive-voice sentences

• We were driven to Universal Studios by our professor.
• Clara was persuaded to move to Toronto.
• Jack was given two choices for the presentation topic.
• The jobs were given to two people who had no experience in writing.
• An old bike and a gun were found in the toolshed.
• The moon was walked by Neil Armstrong.
• The candy was eaten by the lady in yellow.
• Ballet dancing is a beloved activity in our class.
• The concert will be enjoyed by us tomorrow.
• Some new books were bought by me.

3. Changing passive voice to active voice

Unless you’re required to use passive voice, it is always beneficial to use active voice in your writing. That’s why overusing and misusing passive sentences can make your writing look sloppy, wordy and non-informative and you may even end up with more grammatical errors.

Here are a few ways to change your passive sentence into an active sentence

a. Identify the passive voice

In writing, the writer should choose their verb tenses, word choice, and tonality of the content very carefully.

As you finish your draft, re-read it to identify sentences that could have been more concise, or framed in a better way to improve its readability. Ask yourself what the action of the specific sentence, who is perpetrating this action is.

That is your passive voice.

Passive voice or tone consists of a past, past participle or future tense and generally the auxiliary word ‘to be’ is an indication of a passive sentence. It always refers to action not being addressed directly.

b. Remove the auxiliary verb

It's best to remove the auxiliary verb from your sentences to change it into active voice sentences by adjusting the tense of the main verb. Generally, the tense of the main verb is in the past tense.

So, determine the correct tense and use it in your verb to create an active sentence. This in turn delivers your writing in a more clear, strong, concise and urgent way.

Here’s an interesting video by mmmEnglish that explains what auxiliary verbs are.

c. Change the subject of the sentence

The main difference between active voice and passive voice is that one performs a verb and the other is a recipient of an action.

For example, in a passive sentence, “The novel was drafted by the writer”, the ‘novel’ is the subject which had been actioned by the writer.

To change it into an active voice, restructure the verb that is taking place (drafted by the writer) with the subject (novel), thus structuring “The writer drafted the novel”.

Once you have mastered the technique of identifying the voice and tonality, you will discover the ease with which your communication takes on different textures, depending upon the context at hand. While the active voice remains the direct form of communication and has more mass appeal, it is the passive voice that assumes a less biased and more objective tone.

Make sure to embellish your written expression with the right voice and give it the power and authority it deserves. We hope the tips and suggestions given above will go a long way in giving weightage to every sentence that you write and strike the right chord with readers.

When you work with Writers Per Hour, you’ll be happy to know that our professional team of writers knows when to use active and passive voice correctly, which works best for the type of paper.

If you’re running short of time or are not confident about your English writing skills, reach out to us, and we’ll ensure you receive nothing short of professionally written, high-quality papers.

Share this article

Achieve Academic Success with Expert Assistance!

Crafted from Scratch for You.

Ensuring Your Work’s Originality.

Transform Your Draft into Excellence.

Perfecting Your Paper’s Grammar, Style, and Format (APA, MLA, etc.).

Calculate the cost of your paper

Get ideas for your essay

Capstone Form and Style

Scholarly voice: writing in the first person, first-person point of view.

Since 2007, Walden academic leadership has endorsed the APA manual guidance on appropriate use of the first-person singular pronoun "I," allowing the use of this pronoun in all Walden academic writing except doctoral capstone abstracts, which should not contain a first-person pronoun.

In addition to the pointers below, the APA manual provides information on the appropriate use of first person in scholarly writing (see APA 7, Section 4.16).

APA Style and First-Person Pronouns

APA prefers that writers use the first person for clarity and self-reference.

To promote clear communication, writers should use the first person, rather than passive voice or the third person, to indicate the action the writer is taking.

• This passive voice is unclear as it does not indicate who collected these data.
• This third-person voice is not preferred in APA style and is not specific about who "the researcher" is or which researcher collected these data.
• This sentence clearly indicates who collected these data. Active voice, first-person sentence construction is clear and precise.

Avoid Overusing First-Person Pronouns

However, using a lot of "I" statements is repetitious and may distract readers. Remember, avoiding repetitious phrasing is also recommended in the APA manual.

• Example of repetitive use of "I": In this study, I administered a survey. I created a convenience sample of 68 teachers. I invited them to participate in the survey by emailing them an invitation. I obtained email addresses from the principal of the school…
• We suggest that students use "I" in the first sentence of the paragraph. Then, if it is clear to the reader that the student (writer) is the actor in the remaining sentences, use the active and passive voices appropriately to achieve precision and clarity.

Avoid Second-Person Pronouns

In addition, avoid the second person ("you").

• Example using the second person: As a leader, you have to decide what kind of leadership approach you want to use with your employees.
• It is important for writers to clearly indicate who or what they mean (again back to precision and clarity). Writers need to opt for specificity instead of the second person. Remember, the capstone is not a speech; the writer is not talking to anyone.

Restrict Use of Plural First-Person Pronouns

Also, for clarity, restrict the use of "we" and "our." These should only be used when writers are referring to themselves and other, specific individuals, not in the general sense.

• Example of plural first-person pronoun: We must change society to reflect the needs of current-day children and parents.
• Here, it is important to clarify who "we" means as the writer is not referring to specific individuals. Being specific about the who is important to clarity and precision.

Avoid Unsupported Opinion Statements

When using the first-person "I," avoid opinion statements.

As writers write, revise, and self-edit, they should pay specific attention to opinion statements. The following phrases have no place in scholarly writing:

• I think…
• I believe…
• I feel…

Writers and scholars need to base arguments, conclusions, and claims on evidence. When encountering "I" statements like this, do the following:

• Consider whether this really an opinion or whether this can be supported by evidence (citations).
• If there is evidence, remove the “I think…”, “I believe…”, “I feel…” phrasing and write a declarative statement, including the citation.
• If there is no evidence to cite, consider whether the claim or argument can be made. Remember that scholarly writing is not based on opinion, so if writers cannot support a claim with citations to scholarly literature or other credible sources, they need to reconsider whether they can make that claim.
• Previous Page: Anthropomorphism
• Office of Student Disability Services

Walden Resources

Departments.

• Academic Residencies
• Academic Skills
• Career Planning and Development
• Customer Care Team
• Field Experience
• Military Services
• Student Success Advising
• Writing Skills

Centers and Offices

• Center for Social Change
• Office of Academic Support and Instructional Services
• Office of Degree Acceleration
• Office of Research and Doctoral Services
• Office of Student Affairs

Student Resources

• Doctoral Writing Assessment
• Form & Style Review
• Quick Answers
• ScholarWorks
• SKIL Courses and Workshops
• Walden Bookstore
• Walden Catalog & Student Handbook
• Student Safety/Title IX
• Legal & Consumer Information
• Website Terms and Conditions
• Cookie Policy
• Accessibility
• Accreditation
• State Authorization
• Net Price Calculator
• Contact Walden

Walden University is a member of Adtalem Global Education, Inc. www.adtalem.com Walden University is certified to operate by SCHEV © 2024 Walden University LLC. All rights reserved.

• Deutschland
• United Kingdom

• PhD Dissertations
• Master’s Dissertations
• Bachelor’s Dissertations
• Scientific Dissertations
• Medical Dissertations
• Bioscience Dissertations
• Social Sciences Dissertations
• Psychology Dissertations
• Humanities Dissertations
• Engineering Dissertations
• Economics Dissertations
• Service Overview
• Revisión en inglés
• Relecture en anglais
• Revisão em inglês

Manuscript Editing

• Research Paper Editing
• Lektorat Doktorarbeit
• Dissertation Proofreading
• Englisches Lektorat
• Journal Manuscript Editing
• Scientific Manuscript Editing Services
• Book Manuscript Editing
• PhD Thesis Proofreading Services
• Wissenschaftslektorat
• Korektura anglického textu
• Akademisches Lektorat
• Journal Article Editing
• Manuscript Editing Services

PhD Thesis Editing

• Medical Editing Sciences
• Proofreading Rates UK
• Medical Proofreading
• PhD Proofreading
• Academic Proofreading
• PhD Proofreaders
• Best Dissertation Proofreaders
• Masters Dissertation Proofreading
• Proofreading PhD Thesis Price
• PhD Dissertation Editing
• Lektorat Englisch Preise
• Lektorieren Englisch
• Wissenschaftliches Lektorat
• Thesis Proofreading Services
• PhD Thesis Proofreading
• Proofreading Thesis Cost
• Proofreading Thesis
• Thesis Editing Services
• Professional Thesis Editing
• PhD Thesis Editing Services
• Thesis Editing Cost
• Dissertation Proofreading Services
• Proofreading Dissertation

PhD Dissertation Proofreading

• Dissertation Proofreading Cost
• Dissertation Proofreader
• Correção de Artigos Científicos
• Correção de Trabalhos Academicos
• Serviços de Correção de Inglês
• Correção de Dissertação
• Correção de Textos Precos
• Revision en Ingles
• Revision de Textos en Ingles
• Revision de Tesis
• Revision Medica en Ingles
• Revision de Tesis Precio
• Revisão de Artigos Científicos
• Revisão de Trabalhos Academicos
• Serviços de Revisão de Inglês
• Revisão de Dissertação
• Revisão de Textos Precos
• Corrección de Textos en Ingles
• Corrección de Tesis
• Corrección de Tesis Precio
• Corrección Medica en Ingles
• Corrector ingles
• Choosing the right Journal
• Journal Editor’s Feedback
• Dealing with Rejection
• Quantitative Research Examples
• Number of scientific papers published per year
• Acknowledgements Example
• ISO, ANSI, CFR & Other
• Types of Peer Review
• Withdrawing a Paper
• What is a good h-index
• Appendix paper
• Cover Letter Templates
• Writing an Article
• How To Write the Findings
• Abbreviations: ‘Ibid.’ & ‘Id.’
• Sample letter to editor for publication
• Tables and figures in research paper
• Journal Metrics
• Revision Process of Journal Publishing
• JOURNAL GUIDELINES

Select Page

Grammar In PhD Theses – Adjectives & Tense, Voice & Contractions of Verbs

Posted by Rene Tetzner | Oct 31, 2021 | PhD Success | 0 |

5.4.6 Adjectives, Adverbs and Split Infinitives

Adjectives and adverbs are often overused when authors are attempting to be precise, with long strings of adjectives particularly common in some theses, so do check for this while proofreading your draft and pay special attention to instances in which you may have used a large number of adjectival nouns. In almost all cases, it is best to use as few adjectives as possible, and such a policy can lead to the use of more precise or expressive adjectives, which is always preferable. When you decide that several adjectives are definitely required, be sure to punctuate them effectively and in a consistent manner throughout your thesis (see Section 5.6.1). Adverbs are especially problematic when they split the infinitive forms of English verbs. In most languages, the infinitive of a verb is a single word: the infinitive forms of the famous Latin phrase ‘veni, vidi, vici (I came, I saw, I conquered),’ for instance, are ‘venire,’ ‘videre’ and ‘vincere.’ In English, however, the infinitives of verbs are formed through the addition of ‘to’ – ‘to come, to see, to conquer’ – and the two elements of the infinitive (‘to’ and ‘conquer’) should no sooner be separated from each other in formal writing than should the ‘ – ire’ or ‘ – ere’ ending be separated from the stem of one of the Latin infinitives. Infinitives are usually split by an adverb inserted between the two parts of the verb (as in Star Trek ’s famous ‘to boldly go’), and such split infinitives sometimes sound entirely natural because they tend to be used daily in casual speech and informal written communications. In the twenty-first century, split infinitives are even tolerated in scholarly prose (though not by all university departments and thesis committees), so if you find that you simply cannot do without an adverb and yet it proves impossible to word the sentence effectively without splitting the infinitive, the adverb can in some cases be retained within the infinitive of the verb. Some readers still consider split infinitives incorrect grammar, however, so do check with your supervisor, keep such usage to a minimum in your thesis and remember that the safest policy is to reword split infinitives whenever possible, replacing ‘to successfully write a thesis,’ for instance, with ‘to write a thesis successfully.’ Rewording sentences containing split infinitives will no doubt prove challenging at times, and in certain instances a sentence may have to be thoroughly rewritten to accommodate a necessary adverb or adverbial phrase more effectively, but do make your best effort before deciding to retain a split infinitive.

5.4.7 Verbs: Tense, Voice and Contractions

The correct use of verb tenses (present, perfect, pluperfect etc.) can be tricky and thus problematic at times. The nuances of the various tenses communicate different temporal messages, and the temporal message of each verb should accurately reflect the reality reported, be consistent with other verbs expressing similar temporal messages and change according to the nature of the content. The problem is complicated in scholarly prose because referring accurately and effectively to the ideas and results found in sources can be challenging. As a general rule, much of what is said in previous scholarship can be referred to in the present tense: for example, ‘Taylor (1996) argues that’ and ‘according to Fergusson (2013), the argument is.’ However, when studies done at different times are compared or contrasted, the tense will need to be varied: ‘Taylor (1996) argued [perfect] that the problem could not be overcome, but Fergusson (2013) sheds [present] new light on the situation.’ Often using a compound form with ‘has’ or ‘have’ is more effective than a simple past or perfect tense when speaking of scholarly trends or developments: for instance, ‘several studies of the problem have been published since the 1980s.’ However, studies that are already published were in fact conducted in the past, so the perfect tense, too, can be correctly used when referring to sources and their authors: for example, ‘Fergusson (2013) explored the problem by following the recommendations of Taylor (1996).’ Sensitivity to the expression of temporal reality through appropriate verb tenses should be applied not just to the discussion of sources, but to the whole of your thesis.

The use of the passive rather than the active voice can also present problems in formal scholarly prose. In the active voice, a subject is clearly stated and the verb is active: ‘I investigated the use of domestic robots among elderly residents of the Sunset Manor.’ In the passive voice, on the other hand, the object becomes the subject and the verb is passive: ‘The use of domestic robots among elderly residents of the Sunset Manor was investigated.’ Both sentences are correct English, but because the passive voice does not name the person (or people) doing the investigating, it can fail to convey with precision who did the research – the author of the present thesis as part of the current study, for instance, or a third party (or parties) working at some other time who ought to be cited? Some doctoral candidates will deliberately use the passive voice in an abstract, perhaps due to a misconception that the passive voice is scholarly, but a scholarly voice is never vague as the passive voice can be, and some guidelines will ask that the passive voice be avoided, especially in abstracts where precision expressed via as few words as possible is particularly important. However, the passive voice can be used effectively (and often is in the sciences) when the point is to emphasise the object of research rather than the agent doing the research, so do check university and department guidelines and/or ask your supervisor about the use of the passive voice. When proofreading your thesis draft, pay careful attention to what sentences using the passive voice actually say and do not say, and whenever you think that such sentences might prove imprecise, ineffective or confusing for your readers, reword them using the active voice.

Contractions of verbs, which are frequently used in casual speech, often slip into formal prose, especially when an author is writing quickly as he or she thinks through problems. Examples include ‘didn’t’ (for ‘did not’), ‘shouldn’t’ (for ‘should not’), ‘won’t’ (for ‘will not’), ‘can’t’ (for ‘cannot’) and ‘wouldn’t’ (for ‘would not’) in which a verb is combined with the word ‘not,’ as well as verbs combined with pronouns such as ‘I’ll’ (for ‘I will’), ‘he’s’ (for ‘he is’ or ‘he has’), ‘it’s’ (for ‘it is’ or ‘it has’) and ‘they’re’ (for ‘they are’). Such contractions are not considered scholarly and should only be used in your thesis when you are accurately quoting direct speech and similar informal text from sources that use contractions (I use them in some of my examples, for instance). In your own prose, however, all such contractions should be expanded, so do watch for these as you proofread your chapter drafts. For more information on contractions, including those that are acceptable in scholarly prose, see Section 5.6.3.

5.4.8 Consistency and Variation in Word Use

It is important to strike a balance between consistency and variation in the vocabulary used in a thesis. While variety can contribute to an interesting writing style and is important for retaining the reader’s interest, precision and consistency are absolutely essential to reporting results and presenting an argument effectively, so it is always better to tip the scales in favour of clear communication. Many minor words in a sentence can easily be changed or eliminated to create variety and avoid repetition without altering the meaning of your text, but if you vary or eliminate terms that define important aspects and elements of your research, methodology and argument or that report the precise results of tests and trials, ambiguity and misinterpretation can result. In the case of comparison, for instance, the exact details of each side of a comparison or contrast should be clearly outlined, and a sentence such as ‘I compared the scores the executives earned in the third trial with the employees’ is confusing and simply wrong: the scores earned by the executives were no doubt compared with the scores earned by the employees (not the employees themselves), and the employees’ scores were probably obtained in a numbered trial as well, so the reader needs more precise information. A statement such as ‘purple hats were given to half of the executives, but yellow to employees’ is also problematic. The reader can easily supply the verb (‘were given’) missing from the second half of the sentence and it is also fairly clear that ‘yellow’ stands for ‘yellow hats,’ but he or she may be wondering ‘to how many employees?’ Does the author mean that hats were given to half of the employees or to all employees included in the study? Clearly, further explanation is needed here as well, and the use of specific numbers and percentages would probably be far more effective. Finally, the terms and definitions used for specific concepts and categories should remain consistent throughout a thesis, especially when those concepts and categories are central to the study or argument: for example, if the study groups have been introduced as ‘smokers group,’ ‘nonsmokers group’ and ‘control group,’ that terminology should not change part way through the thesis or be different in tables and figures that accompany the thesis; and if questionnaires are labelled A, B and C, they should not be referred to without the letters or via numbers instead because such references can increase the possibility of unnecessary confusion.

PRS Tip: The well-educated proofreaders at PRS are specialists in a variety of disciplines and experts in the English language. They know how scholarly writing in English should read because they are scholars, and some of them have published their own academic or scientific writing. So there is a great deal they can do to help you make your scholarly voice just what it should be, but it is essential that you do everything you can to ensure that your vocabulary, grammar and syntax are as correct and clear as possible before you send your thesis or proposal chapters for proofreading. Remember that if a seasoned professional proofreader familiar with academic and scientific prose, your specific discipline and the errors commonly encountered when working across languages is not able to make sense of what you are trying to say, it is very difficult for him or her to provide assistance. When PRS proofreaders read documents for clients, they generally strike up a dialogue in marginal comments, and clients are welcome to initiate a dialogue with their proofreaders as well. If you are having trouble with a particular construction or a specific section in your thesis, you should therefore feel free to explain the problem as well as you can in a marginal comment within your Word document or in the instructions you include with the document. This sort of proactive approach will enable your proofreader to direct attention where it is most needed and help you maximise the effect of the money you spend on professional proofreading.

Why PhD Success?

To Graduate Successfully

This article is part of a book called "PhD Success" which focuses on the writing process of a phd thesis, with its aim being to provide sound practices and principles for reporting and formatting in text the methods, results and discussion of even the most innovative and unique research in ways that are clear, correct, professional and persuasive.

The assumption of the book is that the doctoral candidate reading it is both eager to write and more than capable of doing so, but nonetheless requires information and guidance on exactly what he or she should be writing and how best to approach the task. The basic components of a doctoral thesis are outlined and described, as are the elements of complete and accurate scholarly references, and detailed descriptions of writing practices are clarified through the use of numerous examples.

The basic components of a doctoral thesis are outlined and described, as are the elements of complete and accurate scholarly references, and detailed descriptions of writing practices are clarified through the use of numerous examples. PhD Success provides guidance for students familiar with English and the procedures of English universities, but it also acknowledges that many theses in the English language are now written by candidates whose first language is not English, so it carefully explains the scholarly styles, conventions and standards expected of a successful doctoral thesis in the English language.

Individual chapters of this book address reflective and critical writing early in the thesis process; working successfully with thesis supervisors and benefiting from commentary and criticism; drafting and revising effective thesis chapters and developing an academic or scientific argument; writing and formatting a thesis in clear and correct scholarly English; citing, quoting and documenting sources thoroughly and accurately; and preparing for and excelling in thesis meetings and examinations. 

Completing a doctoral thesis successfully requires long and penetrating thought, intellectual rigour and creativity, original research and sound methods (whether established or innovative), precision in recording detail and a wide-ranging thoroughness, as much perseverance and mental toughness as insight and brilliance, and, no matter how many helpful writing guides are consulted, a great deal of hard work over a significant period of time. Writing a thesis can be an enjoyable as well as a challenging experience, however, and even if it is not always so, the personal and professional rewards of achieving such an enormous goal are considerable, as all doctoral candidates no doubt realise, and will last a great deal longer than any problems that may be encountered during the process.

Interested in Proofreading your PhD Thesis? Get in Touch with us

If you are interested in proofreading your PhD thesis or dissertation, please explore our expert dissertation proofreading services.

Rene Tetzner

Rene Tetzner's blog posts dedicated to academic writing. Although the focus is on How To Write a Doctoral Thesis, many other important aspects of research-based writing, editing and publishing are addressed in helpful detail.

Related Posts

PhD Success – How To Write a Doctoral Thesis

October 1, 2021

Table of Contents – PhD Success

October 2, 2021

The Essential – Preliminary Matter

October 3, 2021

The Main Body of the Thesis

October 4, 2021

Want to create or adapt books like this? Learn more about how Pressbooks supports open publishing practices.

Voice, Tone, and Persona

Enhance the likelihood that readers will respond favorably to your document by projecting an effective voice, tone, and persona.Voice, Tone, and Persona are slippery terms/concepts. In some instances, these terms can be used interchangeably, yet important differences do exist.

The term voice may be used to define a writer’s stance toward his subject or readers. For example, a writer could say, “I’m using a satirical (or humorous, condescending, patronizing) voice in this editorial.”

Alternatively, some writers and English instructors talk about a writer’s voice as a representation of the trueness of a document. An accomplished writer is said to have found his or her voice while a beginning writer is said to be searching for his or her voice. When used in this way, voice refers to the “trueness” or “honesty” or “authority” or “power” of a writer’s message. Back in the 1960s, some writing instructors suggested inexperienced writers needed to find their true voice–that each of us has a specific voice that we need to find, that voice is a powerful, mystical force that helps us convey truth or the inner quality of a topic.

When writers and English instructors talk about tone, they are typically referring to the author’s stance toward his or her readers and message. Specific documents or authors can be described as having a condescending, arrogant, pedantic, racist, confident, or satirical tone (or voice). In this way, tone is used interchangeably with voice, although tone does not refer to the “truth” of the writer’s message, unlike voice.

The term persona refers to an author’s use of a literary mask to hide his or her true opinion about a matter. For example, if you were writing about how you act while waiting in long lines, you might want to honestly inform your reader that you become a raging lunatic, that your heart rate doubles, and that you can keep calm only by doing sit-ups and push-ups. Yet if you are not proud of this type-A tendency, you might present the persona of a patient person who has mastered the ability to meditate calmly and think deeply about important issues when forced to wait in a seemingly endless line.

Different readers may make different assessments regarding a particular author’s voice, tone, and persona. An author may describe his tone as reasoned, thoughtful, and intelligent whereas the reader might dismiss the author’s text as biased, underdeveloped, or emotional.

Why Should You Consider Your Voice, Tone, and Persona?

Just as listeners make assumptions about your personality by observing how you dress and act and by listening to the tone of your voice, readers make judgments about your personality and feelings regarding a subject based on what and how you write. When you avoid use of the first person and personal references, readers make judgments about what kind of person you are and about your professional abilities. Readers make assumptions about how clever and fair a thinker you are by noting the quality of your reasoning, the words you choose, and the way you format your text. By noting an author’s examples, organization, and word choices, we might say, for instance, that he or she displays an opinionated, logical, or emotional persona. Problems such as spelling and punctuation errors or pronoun agreement errors can turn readers against you, making them consider you to be careless or uneducated.

Consider these questions when revising a document:

• What inferences about my personality do I want my readers to make?
• Given my audience and purpose, is it appropriate to express my feelings about this subject?
• Would it be more appropriate for me to project a strong, passionate tone, or should I try to appear more objective?
• Based on what I have written, what sense about my personality or feelings about the subject will readers be likely to infer?
• Have I used any words or examples that are emotionally charged and likely to alienate my readers?
• What personal examples should I add or delete to help my readers better understand me and my message?

Why Read Your Work Out Loud?

The challenge of juggling apparently unrelated ideas can be so great that you may overlook your voice or tone. When attempting to explain complex ideas and processes, you may understandably focus your critical energies on being coherent and logical. Yet, you might also remember that readers are people too, and they are likely to be swayed as much by their sense of how credible you are as by the logic of your argument. One trick that writers use to gauge the voice in a document is to read a manuscript aloud or to speak it into a tape recorder and then listen to how they sound.

Create an Energetic Voice

The vitality of a writer’s voice or persona often has a tremendous influence on readers’ responses. Sometimes readers say they enjoy a text because an author seems straightforward and personable. In contrast, sometimes readers dislike a book because the author seems stuffy or cold-hearted. As an example of the latter, note the “computer tone” in the following letter, which I received after the birth of my first child:

Thank you for cooperating with the hospital stay verification component of your Health Insurance Policy. The company has been notified of the patient’s emergency admission. The information submitted has been reviewed and a length of stay has been assigned. This emergency stay is certified for two days.

We remind you that the review of your hospital stay was limited to determining the appropriate length of stay for the emergency admitting diagnosis and did not question medical necessity. We further remind you that payment of benefits is still subject to the terms of your Health Insurance Policy.

Surely this is an impersonal, mechanical way to say that my newborn would be covered by my insurance policy–a fact that I already knew. Although the letter was signed by a person, it seems to have been written by a computer. If I had called this person on the phone, she probably would have said something like, “Congratulations on the birth of your baby. As you already know, your insurance covers expenses for two days of hospitalization. Enjoy that little one!” One message, two very different voices.

Trying to communicate your subject in a coherent way can be so overwhelming that you forget to consider the influence of your voice or persona on the reader.

Avoid a Pedantic, Passive Tone

Based on what you say, your readers will make judgments about whether you seem knowledgeable, educated, compassionate, angry, or confused. If you use excessive jargon, write extensively in the passive voice, fail to offer specific examples to illustrate your point, or do not elaborate on essential information, then some readers might consider you to be aloof or pompous, while others might assume that you are reluctant or unable to communicate.

Sometimes people believe they need to sound “academic” when they write; they don’t think they can simply be themselves and write naturally. Rather than trying to simplify their prose, they reach for a thesaurus and select the least understood or most impressive-sounding word. Here’s a sample of terribly technical language that a colleague of mine wrote to satirize the humorous elements of jargon-ridden prose:

Health is generally benefited by the voluntary ingestion of 4000 to 5000 ml of hydrogen hydroxide in each 24-hour period, distributed more or less equally across the time period in 250 to 500 ml units.

When you read this, it may at first seem sophisticated, enshrouded as it is in pseudoscientific garb. Yet, properly translated into readable English, it simply says, “Drink eight glasses of water a day.” Pretentious jargon and obscure language can at first be intimidating because the authors appear to be implying that we should understand the message. However, college-educated, critical readers are rarely impressed by vague, abstract language. For example, what do you think of the following prose, which is excerpted from a draft of a graduate student’s essay on language development?

An oral language production system is the first one learned by children. The task of learning a written language production system occurs when children enter school. A noticeable difference between these two systems is the presence of a conversational partner. This difference is significant when you compare speaking and writing at the level of continuous discourse. Conversational partners provide constant cues, such as to elaborate, to clarify, to keep a goal in mind, to stay on the topic, etc. Evidence of children’s dependence on conversational inputs when learning to write comes from observing effects of prompting children to continue, that is to take another conversational turn. Children are dependent to some extent on conversation interchange to develop a text. However, no conversational partner exists in written composition. Learning to write involves a transition from a language introduction system dependent on inputs from a conversational partner to a system capable of functioning autonomously. Without conversational supports, children have problems in thinking what to say, in making choices appropriate to a remote audience, in staying on the topic, and in producing an intelligible whole.

Clearly, this passage is weakened by jargon. A critical reader will wonder, for example, about the need for such terms as “oral language production system,” “continuous discourse,” or “conversational interchange.” More insidious in this example, however, is the abundance of passive constructions and lack of people-oriented references. For example, who is doing the observing in the following sentence: “Evidence of children’s dependence on conversational inputs when learning to write comes from observing effects of prompting children to continue, that is to take another conversational turn”? Also, take a look at the emptiness of the third sentence: “A noticeable difference between these two systems is the presence of a conversational partner.” Even with rereading, it is unclear whether the “oral language production system” or the “written language production system” has “the presence of a conversational partner.” Of course, the author could argue that everyone knows that conversation usually involves a dialogue between speakers while writing usually lacks such an exchange. Naturally, clever readers will see through the fog with a discerning eye and recognize that the writer’s ideas are in fact relatively simple:

Perhaps children don’t learn to write until they enter school because writing demands more than speech. Whereas children can easily develop their ideas through dialogue—that is, by listening to queries and comments and suggestions from other speakers—they must conceptualize an audience when they write.

Ultimately, however, if you think about the gist of this writer’s message long enough, it becomes so obvious that you wonder about the need to say it at all. Surprisingly, you will often find this to be the case: pedantic, long-winded speakers and writers are often hiding simple concepts behind verbal smoke screens. Thus, when you read, remember to be a critical reader.

Adapted from Consider Your Voice, Tone, and Persona  by Joseph M. Moxley ( Writing Commons ) licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0.

Check Your Understanding

Writing as Critical Inquiry Copyright © by Keri Sanburn Behre, Ph.D. and Kate Comer, Ph.D. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Share This Book

Writing Center

• Academic Essays
• Approaching Writing
• Sentence-level Writing
• Write for Student-Run Media
• Writing in the Core
• Access Smartthinking
• TutorTrac Appointments
• SMART Space

Your Writing “Voice”

What Is Voice in an Academic Essay or Some Other Type of Composition?

Voice has at least two distinct meanings:

• The audible sound of a person speaking (e.g., high-pitched, rhythmic, loud, soft, accent, pace). Even in writing, the author’s words create the “sound” of the writer talking. Effective writers can control the sound of their words in their readers’ heads.
• The communicator’s implied beliefs and values. Every utterance conveys the impression of a person behind the words—a “self” that may be authentic or constructed as a persona. This “self” can extend beyond an implied personality to include the communicator’s political, philosophical, and social values as well as his or her commitment to certain causes (civil rights, gay rights, women’s rights).

Elements of Voice

Because audiences experience a communicator’s voice as a whole expression, not a set of parts, a reconsideration of some commonly understood elements of voice may be useful.

• Tone. Tone is the communicator’s attitude toward the subject and audience as expressed in a text. For example, are you trying to convey anger, joy, sarcasm, contempt, anxiety, or respect? To gain control of your tone, read drafts aloud and listen to the attitudes you convey. Is the tone consistent throughout the text? Should it be? Have you struck the tone that you were hoping to strike?
• Style. Style is the distinctive way you express yourself. It can change from day to day but it is always you. The style that you choose for a particular writing assignment will largely depend on your subject, purpose, and audience. Style in writing is affected by such values as the level of formality/informality appropriate to the situation and by the simplicity or complexity of words, sentences, and paragraphs. To gain control of style, learn to analyze the purpose and audience. Decide how you want to present yourself and ensure that it suits the occasion.
• Values. Values include your political, social, religious, and philosophical beliefs. Your background, opinions, and beliefs will be part of everything you write, but you must learn when to express them directly and when not to. For example, including your values would enhance a personal essay or other autobiographical writing, but it might undermine a sense of objectivity in an interpretive or research paper. To gain control of the values in your writing, consider whether the purpose of the assignment calls for implicit or explicit value statements. Examine your drafts for opinion and judgment words that reveal your values and take them out if they are not appropriate.
• Authority. Authority comes from knowledge and is projected through self-confidence. You can exert and project real authority only if you know your material well, whether it’s the facts of your life or carefully researched material. The better you know your subject (and this is often learned through drafting), the more authoritative you will sound. Your audience will hear that authority in your words.

What Is Voice in an Academic Essay?

Many students arrive at college with the notion that they must not use the first-person “I” point of view when writing an academic essay . The personal voice, so goes the reasoning, undermines the student writer’s authority by making the analysis or argument or whatever the student is writing seem too subjective or opinionated to be academic. The student who subscribes to this notion is correct—or possibly incorrect; it depends on how the assignment has been designed. One advantage of not using the first-person “I” is that it challenges the student to present ideas as objective claims, which will amplify the degree to which the claims require support to be convincing. Notice the different effects of these two claims:

I feel that Pablo Picasso’s reputation as a great artist conflicts with what his biographers have to say about his personal relationships, especially with women.  

Pablo Picasso’s reputation as a great artist conflicts with what his biographers have to say about his personal relationships, especially with women.  

      The only measurable difference between the two sentences above is that the first of them is couched in the first-person phrase “I feel.” The two sentences differ more consequentially in terms of effect, however. The writer—and readers—of the second sentence are probably going to sense more strongly the need for support to make the claim convincing. That’s a good thing, for it indicates to the writer the work that needs to be done to make the claim convincing.

      The disadvantage of keeping the first-person “I” voice out of an essay is that it may squelch something unique and authentic about the writer’s voice and vision, turning the essay into something more formal in tone—something more conventionally academic, let’s say. What is more, while denying the first-person “I” a place in an academic essay may heighten awareness of an essay’s argumentative weaknesses, it also participates in a tradition that privileges certain modes of thought and expression. The traditional ways of approaching academic essays, instructors are coming to accept, may be too limiting for today’s students.

      So, is the first-person “I” correct or incorrect? Ask your instructor this question before you begin writing your academic essay . Talk about what you need, in terms of voice, to convey your ideas most effectively.

Quick tip about citing sources in MLA style

What’s a thesis, sample mla essays.

• Student Life
• Career Success
• Champlain College Online
• About Champlain College
• Centers of Experience
• Media Inquiries
• Contact Champlain
• Maps & Directions
• Consumer Information

• Peterborough

Revising the Whole Paper

Revising argument, organization, and voice.

Revision begins by considering the global level of your essay:

• Reverse outline
• Asking "so what?"
• Formal tone
• Use of “I” or first-person singular
• Use of "you" or second-person
• Gender-neutral language
• Active voice

Revising Topic, Thesis and Organization

Take a break after you have written your first draft to see and judge the essay as a stranger would.

Print your draft; reading a hard copy of your paper is better than looking at partial views on your computer screen. Digital editing can encourage tinkering rather than addressing global, structural concerns.

First, re-read the assignment instructions and consider the following questions:

• What is it that you were asked to do?
• Have you fulfilled all of the requirements?
• Why did you make the choices that you made?

Your reader must be able to identify your focused topic and argument from the introduction. Read your introduction slowly and carefully.

• Is the topic focused and narrow?
• Is the thesis of your essay clear, and is it stated precisely?
• Read the conclusion to ensure it presents a clear, consistent, cohesive message. Frequently, our ideas are clearer as we near the conclusion, so the argument may be more refined in this paragraph. Consider necessary revisions to your introduction based on your conclusion.
• In one or two sentences, summarize your argument and its purpose. Use this summary to assess the coherence and clarity of your message throughout your paper.

Reverse Outlines

Create a reverse outline from your rough draft by highlighting the main idea in each of your paragraphs. Read over the highlighted sentences. The first sentence should be your thesis. Each subsequent sentence should relate to the thesis and should be presented in logical order.

Use the reverse outline to assess your whole draft.

• Have you provided sufficient and accurate evidence for each sentence in the reverse outline?
• Have you explained how each sentence in the reverse outline supports the thesis?
• Is your essay clearly and logically organized?
• Are there any gaps or irrelevant ideas that need to be addressed?
• Have you used transitions to show the relations between the major points you are making?

Ask "So what?"

“So what?” is shorthand for “why is this idea important to understand?” or “what are the implications of this argument?”

• Ask “so what?” of your essay to assess your argument. Consider how to strengthen your thesis by explaining its significance to the topic or field of study. Use the Thesis Checklist for help .
• Ask "so what?" at the end of each paragraph. This can help you to see if you are supporting your thesis or simply listing information without making connections. This can also hope you to determine if a sentence or a paragraph is off topic. These two words, "so what?" help you to stay on track in your essay.

Revising Voice

Voice refers to each writer’s recognizable and unique style and tone. Your aim is to revise your voice so that it is consistent in tone and level of formality and conforms to the expectations of university. Generally, assume you are writing for an informed scholarly audience composed of your classmates and your instructor.

Understand the conventions of scholarly discourse and strive to meet them:

Level of Formality

An essay needs a formal tone. This means avoiding slang, clichés, and lazy language.  This does not mean you have to write in a fancy, ornamental, wordy way. Be clear and to the point. Use simple language, as it is the easiest to read.

The Use of “I”

The use "I" (first-person singular) in essays depends on the academic discipline and on the type of assignment. Check with your instructor if you are unsure about the use of “I”.

“I” identifies you as the driving force behind the organization and progression of your paper. The use of “I” helps to convince your reader that you believe strongly in your argument. For example:

“I argue X is mistaken because…”

“X’s view is....However, I will argue that ….”

First-person statements that use “I” should be used in moderation; you shouldn’t start every sentence with “I think” or “I feel.” The use of “I” is preferable to expressions such as “the author of the present paper” or “the current writer.”

The Use of “you”

Avoid the use of "you," which literally means the reader of the essay. It's rare in academic writing to address one's reader. Moreover, students sometimes use "you" when they are generalizing; in that case, use "one" instead. For example:

"It's rare in academic writing to address one's reader" rather than

"It's rare in academic writing to address your reader."

Gender-Neutral Language

Reduce gender bias in writing with thoughtful use of pronouns .

If you know the gender identity of the person you are writing about, use the appropriate pronoun when you refer to them (e.g., they, she, he, etc.).

Not acceptable (only male pronouns for unknown subject/antecedent): “an effective teacher provides clear feedback to  his  students” 

Acceptable (appropriate pronoun to reflect known gender identity): “Elijah is an effective teacher who provides clear feedback to his students.”

To ensure your language is inclusive and equitable, avoid use of binary pronouns (‘his or her’) in reference to unknown subjects. Instead you can refer to the subjects by name or with the epicene, or gender-neutral “they” or “their.” In some instances, it will also work to pluralize subjects/antecedents where you use the pronoun “they.”  

Not acceptable (binary pronouns for unknown subject/antecedent): “an effective teacher provides clear feedback to  his or her  students” 

Acceptable (epicene/singular they): “an effective teacher provides clear feedback to  their  students.”

Acceptable plural form: "effective teachers provide clear feedback to  their  students."

Active/Passive Voice

Most instructors agree that students should maintain the active voice in their essays and labs except in circumstances where the passive is more effective. The active voice is less wordy and indirect, but it also forces clearer thinking: the writer must name a subject and say what that subject is doing. The passive voice, on the other hand, allows the actor or doer in a sentence to remain invisible.

Learn how to identify and edit passive voice.

The Historical Present

Instructors generally agree that students should use the “historical present” when describing events in a work of literature (or a film) or when discussing what authors or scholars say about a topic or issue, even when the work of literature is from the past or uses the past tense itself, or the authors and scholars are dead.

Examples of historical present:

In A Midsummer Night’s Dream , Bottom is a uniformly comedic figure.

Kyi argues that “democracy is the political system through which an empowerment of the people occurs.”

It is considered more accurate to use the present tense in these circumstances because the arguments put forward by scholars, and the characters presented and scenes depicted by novelists, poets, and dramatists continue to live in the present whenever anyone reads them. An added benefit is that many find the use of the historical present tense makes for a more lively style and a stronger voice.