what not to put in college essay

Disclosure: This article contains affiliate links, meaning that when you make a purchase, I earn a small commission. For more information, see the site  Disclaimer .

College essay don’ts: 37 Things to Avoid In a college essay

Knowing what not to write about in a college essay is just as important as knowing what to write about!

This post is all about college essay don’ts , including college essay topics to avoid and how not to write your college application essays. 

It’s so important to know what NOT to write about in your college application essay. Whether you’re crafting your essay for the Common App or writing shorter college-specific essays, you need to know how not to write a college essay. 

Choosing the wrong topic for your college application essays could mean that you don’t get admitted to your dream school or you miss out on scholarship money. 

Since you really only have one chance to get it right, you need to know what topics to avoid in your college admissions essays, general college essay don’ts, and what other pitfalls to avoid when writing your college essays.

Essay writing may feel overwhelming and stressful, but knowing what not to do will help you write a great college essay!

What not to write in your college application essay

So you know exactly what not do in college admissions essays, here are 37 college essay tips about college essay don’ts. Follow this advice to know what not to write about in your college essay!

1. Don’t restate the Essay prompt

Start your essay with a hook. Start with dialogue. Start by setting the scene.

Don’t start by restating the essay topic! The reader knows the essay prompts, so just start telling your story. 

A great story will immediately grab the attention of the admission officers and make them want to keep reading!

2. Don’t try to be funny in your college admissions essay

There’s a good chance that what you think is funny may not be funny to the admissions officer. And even if your admissions officer thinks it’s funny, the dean of admissions may not agree.

Clever writing that naturally tells a funny story will get you further than trying too hard to make everyone laugh. 

3. Don’t swear

You might not mind vulgar language, but many people do. It will come off as tasteless and crass. Simply put, curse words should not be part of your college admissions essay. 

4. Don’t just tell the reader what you think

Tell the reader what you did, how you felt, how you changed—not just what you think. Admissions officers don’t want to read about what you think in the abstract.

They want to know what has happened to you in life, how that’s affected you, and what you did as a result. 

Write an engaging, interesting story that shows the reader how you’ve grown and what you’ve learned.

5. Don’t try to Appear perfect

It’s okay that your life is messy and you don’t have it all together. It’s okay that you’re not super organized and you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up.

Your college essay doesn’t need to be about how awesome you are (really, it shouldn’t be!). It just needs to be about the real you. Remember, your personal essay for college should be just that—personal! 

6. Don’t brag

Your achievements are all listed on your resume.

Writing about how great you are, how you saved the day, or how you’re a hero to others is not going to make a positive impression on the reader.

Leave the bragging to the people who wrote your letters of reference. 

7. Don’t emphasize status

Avoid topics that emphasize your financial privilege. Voluntourism trips to aid people living in poverty in far-flung areas of the world is a key example of this.

Don’t write about going on a mission trip to a third world country to volunteer to help the less fortunate and how you learned how privileged you are. Just don’t. 

8. Don’t lie

Don’t inflate your accomplishments. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

If you write something dishonest in your essay, it won’t match the other parts of your application. If you were found to have been dishonest when writing your essay, you will not be offered admission at that college. 

9. Don’t reveal too much

If you have faced personal challenges, like addiction, mental health struggles, or learning disabilities, those struggles are part of you. You should feel proud of overcoming them.

But your college admissions essay is not the place to share your most deeply personal experiences. 

Some college admissions officers may read about your challenges and want to welcome someone with your tenacity and spirit to their campus.

Unfortunately, most admissions officers will read about your challenges and worry that you will face similar issues at their university. 

Many colleges choose not accept applicants who have demonstrated past mental health issues. This might not seem fair, but it is reality. Don’t hide your true self or be dishonest, but carefully consider how much you want to reveal in your admissions essay about your private struggles. 

10. Don’t write about illegal activities

It’s a safe bet that most colleges do not want to admit students who have a history of participating in illegal activities.

Even if you plan to talk about drug use, alcohol use, jail time, or committing crimes as a way to show growth and discuss lessons learned, illegal activities show a lack of maturity and questionable judgement.

Writing about criminal behavior will not reflect well on you as a candidate for admission. Illegal activities make bad topics for college essays.

11. Don’t summarize your resume

This is one of the biggest college essay don’ts! Your college essay is your opportunity to tell the college admissions office who you really are and what really matters to you.

Your resume already lists your activities, and your transcript details your grades. Your college essay isn’t the place to review these facts; it’s your chance to stand out by telling your story. 

12. Don’t tell a general story

Be specific. In fact, be very specific. Focusing on the details of your story will help make your college essay unique so that it stands out.

A good college essay will tell a story that could only have been written by you—no one else. 

Instead of telling a biopic story of your life, focus on one aspect of your life—your beliefs, a meaningful experience, a key event—that explains who you are and what matters to you. 

13. Don’t write about cliché topics

Avoid writing about the sports victories and defeats. Winning a big game or losing a championship game might mean a lot to you, but sports are common topic and best avoided.

Don’t write about overcoming an academic setback or a romantic breakup.  

14. Don’t write about something controversial

You don’t know who will be reading your college admissions essay, and they might not agree with your views on controversial topics.

Moreover, your reader might not appreciate how you approach a sensitive topic. You might appear close-minded and unempathetic. 

The last thing you want to do is make the admissions officers reading your essay think you would bring discord to the campus community.

15. Don’t undervalue the small stuff

Great essays can be crafted from the small, personal details of daily life.

Don’t underestimate what interesting essays can be written about your morning routine, your favorite family recipe, your relationship with your sibling, or what you do on a snow day. 

In fact, some of the most memorable, best essays have been about a random item, food, or daily routine.

16. Don’t go negative

Criticizing other people, your current school, or anything else will probably just make a bad impression on your readers.

Don’t whine about your life. Negativity says more about you and how you perceive the world around you than it does about anything else. Certainly don’t criticize the college you’re applying to!

If you do want to write about negative experiences you’ve had, quickly move on to discussing what you’ve learned or how you’ve grown as a result of those experiences.

17. Don’t be pompous

Never assume that you know better than your readers or that your approach is the only way.

Don’t tell your reader what they should think. Avoid making generalized value judgements. 

18. Don’t go completely off topic

Don’t try to stand out by submitting a poem or creative writing sample.

Write a thoughtful, well-crafted essay about yourself, just like they asked for.

Show that you respect the school admissions committee’s request and can follow directions. 

19. Don’t ignore the prompt

College admission essay topics are designed to allow you a lot of freedom in how you answer. Craft a story that tells something about you, within the framework of the prompt. 

Just double check that your essay answers the prompt, to make sure you didn’t veer off topic as you wrote and edited the essay. 

Also know that you can write about whatever you’d like to . In your essay writing process, if you find that the first prompt you chose isn’t working out, choose a different one and start again.

20. Don’t get the tone wrong

Your college admissions essay is not an expository essay, formulaic and devoid of warmth. Nor is it the right time for you to use all the fancy words you’ve been studying for the SAT.  

Your college admissions essay should be engaging, show your personality, and sound like you—a teenager reflecting on your life thus far. 

21. Don’t write a trite conclusion

If your essay has done its job, you shouldn’t need to sum it all up for the reader in a neat little final sentence.  

If you have shown your reader what you’ve learned, how you’ve grown, or who you are, you don’t need to say it explicitly at the end of your essay. 

The conclusion is often the hardest part of the essay to get just right, so don’t worry if it’s hard to find the perfect words. Take a break from writing it and come back in a few days to get a fresh perspective on what you’re trying to say.

22. Don’t wait until the last minute to Write

Start writing your college admissions essay weeks, if not months, before its due. Senior year is an incredibly busy time, so it’s a great idea to get started on your college admission essays as early as possible.

Leave plenty of time to think about what you want to say, revise and edit, and finalize the essay. You’ll be amazed at how your essay can improve if you allow ample time to work on it.

If you’re going to apply early decision or early action, consider starting to work on your main essay the summer after junior year, before your senior year even starts, or early in the fall of senior year.

23. Don’t ignore the word count

You don’t want to write too much or too little. Aim to be within a few words of the word limit. Express yourself clearly and concisely.

24. Don’t repeat your resume

When you’re writing your personal statement essay, don’t just repeat your high school resume.

Your personal essay is your chance to talk about an aspect of your personality or life experiences that can’t be found anywhere else in your college application. 

The list of courses you’ve taken (and your grades) tell about your academic interests. So there’s no need to turn your essay into a list of your academic achievements!

Your extracurricular activities show what you’re interested in and how you use your time. If you want to discuss how your extracurricular activities have been formative experiences for you, focus on one particular example. Don’t re-list all your volunteer experiences!

Your personal statement essay should reveal something about you that doesn’t show up in the rest of your application. 

25. Don’t write about an “example” topic

If you have read some amazing examples of college essays, and you’re thinking that you could write on that same topic, don’t.

Chances are, if your English teacher pointed out those examples, or you found them via a Google search, every other high school senior (and every school admission officer) has seen those essays too! 

Instead, dig deep and write your own amazing personal statement !

26. Don’t copy and paste

It’s completely fine to use the Common App to submit your personal essay to every school on your list (as long as they accept the Common App, of course). 

But for each college’s specific essays, tailor your essay to each school. Include specific details about each college that make you want to go there. And make sure your responses are appropriate to the culture of each college. 

If you do copy and paste your essays, be sure the essay doesn’t refer to the wrong school!

27. Don’t overuse the thesaurus

Everyone gets stuck using the same words over and over again, and it’s fine to check a thesaurus when you’re writing. 

But don’t use big words just in an attempt to impress the college admissions officers. Don’t use words you don’t really understand to try to sound smart.

For a great college application essay, write naturally in your own voice and let your true personality show. 

28. Don’t plagiarize

If you’re submitting someone else’s college essay as your own, you’re giving up the chance to share your unique story with the admissions office.

You’re also risking an automatic rejection if you’re caught!

29. Don’t be fake

Use your essay to tell the admissions officers what you want them to know about you.

Don’t try to guess what the admissions officers would like for you to say or try to be someone you’re not. 

Don’t invent a tragic event in your past, claim to have done hours and hours of community service you haven’t done, or exaggerate any aspect of your life.

Be authentic, write with your own voice, and craft an essay that stands out from the other applicants.

Simply take your time to craft a thoughtful essay that tells your personal story. Talk about your unique perspective on one specific experience in your life, using your authentic voice.

30. Don’t write a school essay

Your college admissions essay is not a five-paragraph expository essay that you would write for English class.

A winning college essay should have a beginning and an end, but the part in the middle should tell a good story, not make an argument in three points. 

The expository essay style of writing might be what your English teacher wants, but it makes for bad college essays.

For a college application, a well-written essay will examine your personal growth, your unique experience in life, and the different perspectives through which you see the world. And you should do this by crafting an intriguing story about a specific moment or experience that was significant to you.

31. Don’t Avoid feedback 

If you’re feeling stuck, feel free to ask someone else—a teacher, parent, family member, or friend—to read your essay. Getting feedback on your entire essay is the best way to get a sense of how admissions officers will respond to reading it.

Feedback does not mean that they tell you what to write or how to write it.

Feedback should mean getting input from someone else can help you learn where your essay veers off point or where you need to dig deeper to tell a better story. 

32. Don’t skip editing

Please allow enough time to write AND edit your essay. Ideally, you will write a first draft of your essay, then edit it, then get feedback, then edit it again, then write a final draft (then proofread it—see below). 

Expect to write at least three or four, and maybe many more, drafts of your college application essay. Your essay will improve with each round of editing.

The essay writing process can be time consuming, but in the end you’ll have a strong essay to share with college admissions offices, so it will be worth it!

33. Don’t overedit

What? Didn’t I just tell you to edit?

Yes, absolutely. Just be sure that after you’ve shown your essay to trusted readers and you’ve made your edits, your story still remains.

The essay should still have your voice and should tell the story you want to tell. 

34. Don’t skip proofreading

After you make your edits and write a “final draft,” you might want to click send and submit your essay. But not so fast! 

Take time to do a final proofread of your essay.

Better yet, ask a teacher, college counselor, or someone with excellent grammar and spelling skills to proofread your essay. Having a fresh set of eyes on your essay will help ensure it is error-free. 

35. Don’t just rely on Spellcheck

It’s really important to have an actual person proofread your essay.

Spellcheck and other editing software won’t necessarily catch grammar errors, typos, or poorly structured arguments.

It’s always a good idea to trust the final proofread of your essay to a person, rather than technology. 

36. Don’t submit your essay at the last minute

You never know when a website will get glitchy!

Don’t take a chance that the Common Application or an individual university’s website won’t act up at a crucial moment. Do your best to upload your college essay at least a day before it’s due!

The admissions process is stressful enough without adding in technical errors. Don’t risk missing the deadline by procrastinating!

37. Don’t submit an incomplete essay

When you’re in the Common App website or a specific college’s application portal, and you attach your admission essay, scan it quickly before hitting the submit button.

Be sure you attached the correct file or that the complete essay transferred when you copied and pasted it into the online form.  

It won’t matter if you write a great essay if you don’t submit it correctly!

Final thoughts on college essay don’ts and what not to write in your college essay

Personal essays are a key part of the college application process. College admissions counselors, especially at smaller colleges, use college essays to learn more about the applicants applying for admission at their school. 

An amazing college essay might not make up for bad grades or a lack of extracurriculars, but a poorly written essay may push your application into the reject pile. This is especially true now that test scores are usually optional.

Successful essays allow admissions officers to learn about your personal qualities, your take on global issues, and how you might contribute to campus life.

Writing a great college admission essay is the most important thing you can do to make a great impression on the admissions team.

After looking at so many college applicants, test scores, GPAs, and awards all blend together. It’s the personal essays that stand out when admission counselors are deciding which high school seniors will be accepted.

So, it’s worth taking your time to write the best college admissions essays you can.

By avoiding all these college essay don’ts, you’ll know what not to write in your college essay. 

How to Write an Amazing College Essay: 25 Tips

Why you’re writing a college essay, how to choose a topic for your college essay, how to write an amazing college essay, how to edit your college essay, and how to make your college essay stand out.

9 tips for How to Write a College Essay That Stands Out

Are you wondering how you’ll manage to write a college essay that stands out from all the other admissions essays? How do you even start writing a standout college essay? If you’re a high school senior…

Can I use the same essay for different colleges?

Can you submit the same essay to different colleges? Yes, no, and maybe. You have so many essays to write for college applications!  There’s your main college admissions essay, or the personal statement.  There are college…

Graduate of Brown University, higher ed professional, and mom of three. Sharing everything I’ve learned about college with you.

Similar Posts

How to Email a College Admissions Officer: Samples & Tips

Thinking about emailing your college admissions officer and wondering what to say? There are many reasons you may need…

Make a Great impression at your college admissions interview

Are you wondering how to make a great impression at a college admissions interview? College admission interviews can be…

How to study for the SAT: Prep for an awesome score

How to study for the SAT: what you need to know to prep for an awesome score

How to Prepare for College in High School: Timeline and Tips

Are you wondering what to do each year of high school to get ready for college? What are the…

Are you wondering how you’ll manage to write a college essay that stands out from all the other admissions…

Best Questions to Ask at a College Interview

Learn what questions to ask at a college interview: questions to ask a college admissions counselor, a college alum, or a student interviewer.

• [email protected]
• (650) 338-8226

Cupertino, CA

• Our Philosophy
• Our Results
• News, Media, and Press
• Common Application
• College Application Essay Editing
• Extracurricular Planning
• Academic Guidance
• Summer Programs
• Interview Preparation

Middle School

• Pre-High School Consultation
• Boarding School Admissions

College Admissions

• Academic and Extracurricular Profile Evaluation
• Senior Editor College Application Program
• Summer Program Applications
• Private Consulting Program
• Transfer Admissions
• UC Transfer Admissions
• Ivy League Transfer Admissions

Graduate Admissions

• Graduate School Admissions
• MBA Admissions

Private Tutoring

• SAT/ACT Tutoring
• AP Exam Tutoring
• Olympiad Training

Research Programs

• Science Research Program
• Humanities Competitions
• Passion Project Program
• Ad Hoc Consulting
• Athletic Recruitment
• National Universities Rankings
• Liberal Arts Colleges Rankings
• Public Schools Rankings

Acceptance Rates

• University Acceptance Rates
• Transfer Acceptance Rates
• Supplemental Essays
• College Admissions Data
• Chances Calculator
• GPA Calculator

National Universities

• College Acceptance Rates
• College Overall Acceptance Rates
• College Regular Acceptance Rates
• College Early Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Overall Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Regular Acceptance Rates
• Ivy League Early Acceptance Rates

Public Schools

• Public Schools Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Overall Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Regular Acceptance Rates
• Public Schools Early Acceptance Rates

Liberal Arts

• Liberal Arts Colleges Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Overall Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Regular Acceptance Rates
• Liberal Arts Colleges Early Acceptance Rates

10 College Essay Topics to Avoid

By Eric Eng

What makes a good college essay? This is a common question among high school seniors during the application process. A successful college essay captivates admissions officers and reveals the student’s identity and personality, creating a vivid picture that extends beyond grades and test scores, ultimately compelling the reader to advocate for the student’s admission. Thus, students must know which college essay topics to avoid.

Essays play a crucial role in the college admissions process. A well-crafted essay can significantly boost your chances of acceptance, while a poorly written one can jeopardize your prospects.

How can you ensure your college essays stand out? Sometimes, understanding the pitfalls to avoid is the best strategy. In this guide, we’ll explore the college essay topics to steer clear of and offer helpful tips to make your essays shine in the competitive admissions landscape.

Topics To Avoid In Your College Essays

Summary of Your Achievements and Transcripts

Why avoid it

• Redundant Information: Admissions officers already have access to your activities list and transcripts. Rehashing this information in your essay is redundant and doesn’t add any new insight into who you are as a person.
• Missed Opportunity: The essay is your chance to showcase your personality, values, and unique experiences. Repeating what’s already documented in your application wastes an opportunity to present a deeper, more personal narrative.
• Lack of Depth: This approach often results in a superficial essay that lacks depth and fails to provide a compelling story or insight.

Admissions officers may view this as a sign of laziness or a lack of creativity which is why this is one of the most common college essay topics to avoid. They might think you didn’t put in the effort to craft a meaningful essay. Is it so wrong to focus on what you have achieved during high school? It is not, but the main problem is that it misses the essay’s purpose—they won’t get a true sense of who you are.

With limited words, a long list of achievements will feel cramped and lack depth. In fact, it is considered one of the most overused college essay topics. There won’t be enough room to provide context or to showcase your personality. You already have the Activities List and Additional Info sections for these details. Ultimately, it’s far more effective to craft your essay around a single impactful experience rather than turning it into a resume.

Romantic Relationships and First Heartbreak

• Overly Personal: These topics can be very personal and may make the reader uncomfortable. They can also come off as immature if not handled with extreme care and maturity.
• Risk of TMI (Too Much Information): There is a fine line between sharing personal growth and oversharing. Admissions officers are looking for a professional, insightful narrative, not the details of your romantic life.
• Limited Universality: These experiences may not resonate with all readers, and they might be perceived as trivial compared to other potential topics.

Admissions officers might see essays on these topics as lacking maturity or relevance to your academic and personal development . Your love life isn’t relevant to the admissions committee. This makes it one of the Common App essay topics to avoid. Additionally, love is a vast and complex topic, making it unsuitable for a college application essay.

Another issue with this topic is that it shifts the focus away from you and onto someone else. Your essay should be centered on you, as you are the person the admissions committee wants to learn about. Make sure to put yourself first in your essay.

Your Life Hero

• Focus on Someone Else: This topic often results in an essay that focuses more on the hero than on you. Admissions officers want to learn about you, not someone you admire.
• Common Theme: Many students write about their heroes, making it a very common and less original topic.
• Lack of Personal Insight: These essays often fail to show how the hero’s influence has directly shaped your character, decisions, or future goals.

Admissions officers may see this as a missed opportunity to learn about you. They’re looking for essays that reflect your own experiences and perspectives. It’s a cliché college essay topic to avoid and not one of those good topics to write about. Much like writing about a romantic relationship, writing about your hero shifts the focus away from you and onto someone who isn’t applying to college.

That One Big Sports Challenge

• Overdone: Many students write about their sports experiences, making it one of the most common and clichéd topics.
• Predictable Plot: Sports stories often follow a predictable narrative arc (e.g., facing challenges, overcoming them, winning or losing a game), which doesn’t stand out.
• Focus on Events, Not Personal Growth: These essays can sometimes focus more on the events of the game rather than personal growth, lessons learned, or deeper reflections.

These essays may be viewed as generic unless the story offers a unique angle or deep personal insight that is rarely seen which is why this is one of the college essay topics to avoid. 

Another major reason to avoid writing a college essay about a sports challenge is that it requires a lot of words to explain the context of the game, key plays, and the outcome. This leaves little room for personal reflection or stylistic writing, resulting in an essay that may label you as a “generic athlete” to the admissions committee.

Instead, think critically about your experiences to find a unique and compelling topic. For example, Laura Stratton, Director of Admission at Scripps College in California, recalls an exceptionally well-written sports essay about a student who was benched during a final game.

“The self-awareness the student showed by being a good team member, supporting her teammates, and staying positive despite not having the personal experience she wanted, spoke volumes about her character and the kind of roommate or classmate she would be.”

Private Confessions

• Inappropriate Content: Confessional essays can include sensitive or controversial topics that might not be appropriate for a college application.
• Risky Content: Sharing deeply personal issues or past mistakes might not portray you in the best light and can make readers uncomfortable.
• Lack of Positivity: These essays can sometimes come across as overly negative or self-pitying, which is not the tone you want to set.

Admissions officers might see these essays as risky and may question your judgment or maturity. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done that no one else knows about, it’s best not to share these confessions with the admissions committee. Such revelations likely won’t present you in the light you were hoping for.

Instead, focus on an experience that changed your perspective or how you navigated a challenging situation to the best of your ability. These anecdotes demonstrate growth, adaptability, and a willingness to change your viewpoint when presented with new information. These should be the topics to write about for college essay.

Unethical and Illegal Activities

• Negative Impression: Writing about illegal or unethical activities, even if you learned from them, can create a negative impression.
• Judgment Issues: Such topics can raise questions about your judgment and values.
• Inappropriate for Application: This content is generally considered inappropriate for a college application essay.

This topic will be viewed as a red flag, questioning your suitability for their institution making it one of the college essay topics to avoid. Even if it’s not an outright crime, you should avoid writing about unethical activities that reflect poorly on you. For instance, some students have written college essays about being caught cheating on a test and learning from the experience. While learning from mistakes is important, such an essay might lead the admissions committee to question your integrity and wonder if you’ll cheat on college tests and assignments.

The ideal essay topic should build trust with the committee and demonstrate that you’ll add value to the college. Writing about illegal or unethical activities makes this difficult to achieve.

Your Luck and Privilege 

• Tone-Deafness: Essays that focus on how fortunate or blessed you are can come across as tone-deaf, especially if you do not acknowledge your privilege.
• Lack of Hardship or Growth: These essays often fail to show personal growth or resilience since they emphasize luck rather than effort or overcoming challenges.
• Perceived Superficiality: They can seem superficial and may not provide the depth of insight admissions officers are looking for.

Admissions officers might perceive you as lacking awareness or depth in your reflections which makes this one of the Common App essay topics to avoid. If you want to discuss your privilege or blessings, focus on the experience that made you aware of your life circumstances.

Describe how this realization changed you—not just in terms of perspective, but also in your actions. Explain what you did in response to this awakening, ensuring you convey it without coming across as a savior. Admissions committees appreciate vulnerability and honesty.

Your Experience in Volunteering and Educational Trips

• Overdone Topic: Many students write about volunteer experiences, making it one of the most cliche college essays.
• Savior Complex: These essays can sometimes come across as having a savior complex or as condescending towards the people you helped.
• Superficial Reflection: They often fail to move beyond the surface level of the experience to offer deeper personal insights or growth.

These essays are often viewed as unoriginal and lacking depth unless you can provide a unique perspective or profound personal growth making it one of the college essay topics to avoid. 

If you’re determined to share an experience from a trip, choose one meaningful moment to focus on. Did you meet someone who significantly impacted your character or beliefs? Did you encounter an unexpected challenge that required you to rise to the occasion?

The Senior Vice President and Dean of Admissions and Student Aid at Bowdoin College , Whitney Soule, noted, “Overuse of a topic doesn’t make it a bad topic.” By honing in on one specific aspect of your trip, you can differentiate your essay and provide more depth than simply summarizing your entire excursion.

Destroying the ‘Box’

• Trying Too Hard to Be Different: Essays that try too hard to be unconventional can come across as forced or insincere. Good topics to write about always allow you to appear sincere and honest.
• Lack of Substance: Sometimes, these essays focus more on the format or the attempt to be different rather than the content and personal insight.
• Confusion: Unconventional essays can confuse or alienate the reader if not executed well.

These essays can be viewed as gimmicky and lacking in genuine reflection or substance. Being creative doesn’t require reinventing or destroying the wheel with your essay. Instead, focus on describing an anecdote or situation with detailed descriptions and vibrant imagery. Channel your creativity into your word choice and scene-setting. This approach will resonate more effectively with the admissions committee than a poem or song ever could (pun intended).

An Experience From Way Before High School

• Irrelevance: Admissions officers are more interested in your recent experiences and growth, particularly during high school.
• Lack of Current Reflection: Events from early childhood or before high school may not reflect your current maturity, skills, or perspectives.
• Missed Opportunity: Focusing on distant past events might cause you to miss the opportunity to showcase your more recent and relevant experiences and achievements.

Admissions officers may view these essays as irrelevant or uninformative about your current self, which is what they are most interested in. 

What do admissions officers look for in college essays?

Overall, colleges aim to understand who you are through your essays, focusing on your perspective, values, and unique voice. However, there’s a paradox in the essay prompts: they are often quite broad. For instance, a prompt might ask you to describe a time you overcame a challenge.

Many students assume the admissions committee is primarily interested in the challenge itself. In reality, what the committee truly wants to learn is more about you, and these prompts were created to reveal your character in an insightful manner.

Admissions officers look for several key elements in college essays to understand applicants better and determine their fit for the institution. Here are some important aspects they consider:

1. Authenticity

• Genuine Voice: They want to hear your unique voice and see your true self. Authenticity stands out and makes your essay memorable. The best topics to write about for college essay should bring out your unique and honest voice.
• Personal Stories: Sharing personal anecdotes and reflections helps convey who you are beyond your grades and test scores.

2. Self-Reflection

• Insights: Demonstrating self-awareness and the ability to reflect on your experiences is crucial. Admissions officers are interested in how you interpret and learn from your experiences.
• Growth: They look for evidence of personal growth and development over time.

3. Clear and Engaging Writing

• Clarity: Your essay should be well-written and easy to follow. Clear, concise writing is important.
• Engagement: The essay should capture and hold the reader’s interest from start to finish.

4. Specificity

• Details: Use specific details and examples to illustrate your points. Vivid descriptions make your story more compelling.
• Focus: Rather than covering too many topics, focus on one or two key experiences that highlight your strengths and personality.

5. Originality

• Unique Perspective: Offering a unique perspective or angle can make your essay stand out. Avoid clichés and overused topics unless you can present them in an original way.
• Creative Expression: Creativity in how you express your ideas can make your essay more memorable.

6. Relevance to the College

• Fit: Show why you are a good fit for the college and how the college is a good fit for you. Mention specific programs, opportunities, or values that attract you to the school.
• Contribution: Highlight how you plan to contribute to the college community and what you bring to the table.

7. Values and Character

• Integrity and Ethics: Admissions officers look for students who demonstrate strong moral character and integrity.
• Passion and Commitment: Showing passion for your interests and commitment to your goals is important.

8. Resilience and Problem-Solving

• Overcoming Challenges: Discussing how you’ve faced and overcome challenges can demonstrate resilience and problem-solving skills. The best topics to write about for college essay should demonstrate how you have overcome challenges and what you learned from them.
• Adaptability: Showing how you adapt to new situations and learn from them is valuable.
• Community Involvement: Essays that highlight your involvement in and impact on your community can be very compelling.
• Making a Difference: Demonstrating how you have made a positive difference, whether large or small, can be impactful.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are personal experiences I should not talk about in my college essays?

Avoid discussing overused college essay topics and sensitive personal experiences such as illegal activities, romantic relationships, deeply personal confessions, traumatic events, or controversial topics in your college application. Instead, focus on experiences that showcase your growth, character, and suitability for the college. We also highlighted the college essay topics to avoid to help you write great college admissions essays.

What topics might come across as arrogant or boastful in my college essays?

Topics that might come across as arrogant or boastful in college essays include excessive bragging about achievements, highlighting privilege without self-awareness, and focusing too much on personal success without acknowledging others’ contributions or showing humility.

How do I know if an essay topic is overdone or unoriginal?

An essay topic is likely overdone or unoriginal if it frequently appears in common advice articles, feels generic, or lacks a unique personal angle. Researching overused college essay topics and common essay themes and seeking feedback can help determine their originality. To stand out, try to find a unique perspective or a more personal approach to these topics.

What are considered cliche college essays?

Cliché college essays typically include topics such as:

• Overcoming a sports injury
• The “big game” sports story
• Mission trips or volunteer experiences abroad
• Essays about a hero or influential person
• Generic reflections on personal growth
• Descriptions of a family member’s illness or death
• Essays centered around romantic relationships or breakups
• Stories of achieving academic success or winning awards without deeper personal insight

These topics are often overused and can lack the personal, unique touch that admissions officers seek.

Do I steer clear from writing about controversial and polarizing political or religious beliefs in my college essays?

Yes, it’s generally advisable to steer clear of writing about controversial and polarizing political or religious beliefs in your college essays. Such topics can be divisive and may detract from the primary goal of showcasing your personality, values, and potential fit with the college. Instead, focus on experiences and perspectives that highlight your growth, character, and individuality.

Want to assess your chances of admission? Take our FREE chances calculator today!

Why College Admissions Isn’t Perfect

US News Rankings

The Personal Statement: The Holy Grail of College Admissions

The Modern Day 4.0 and 1600 SAT Score Student Is No Longer Impressive

The Competitive Nature of College Admissions for Asian Americans

The College Application

Our Comprehensive Approach

Ivy League Schools

How Early Should You Prepare for College?

Featured in US News & World Report Best Colleges Publication

Congratulations to AdmissionSight Students and their Acceptances!

College Rejection

College Rankings

College Consultants Could Make A Difference

College Admissions Scandal and Higher Education

A Deeper Look into Life After College

Joining the National Business Honor Society (NBHS)

How Long After Interview to Send Thank You: Tips + Email Templates

Top Target Schools for Investment Banking Worldwide

Honors Classes: Are They Worth Your Time?

How to Write a Graduation Speech: Tips and Examples

Duke Legacy Acceptance Rate

A List of UCLA Notable Alumni

The Highest Paying College Majors for a Rewarding Career

100 Good Argumentative Essay Topics: Examples and Tips

The Best Forensic Psychology Schools in the US

A Comprehensive Guide to UC Berkeley Essays this 2024

Creative Club Ideas for High School Students

Does Stanford Offer Early Action?

Everything You Need To Know About Direct Admit Nursing Programs

Is College Harder than High School? Insights and Tips

The Best Extracurriculars For Business Majors

Leave a comment cancel reply.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Recent Articles

A Deeper Look into Life...

Joining the National Business Honor...

How Long After Interview to...

Top Target Schools for Investment...

Honors Classes: Are They Worth...

How to Write a Graduation...

A List of UCLA Notable...

The Highest Paying College Majors...

100 Good Argumentative Essay Topics:...

The Best Forensic Psychology Schools...

A Comprehensive Guide to UC...

Sign up now to receive insights on how to navigate the college admissions process..

Admissions Counseling

• Academic & Extracurricular Profile Evaluation

Copyright © AdmissionSight 2024

Privacy Policy - Terms and Conditions

Choose Your Test

• Search Blogs By Category
• College Admissions
• AP and IB Exams
• GPA and Coursework

Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

College Essays

Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

• Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
• Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
• Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
• Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

• Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
• Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
• Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
• Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

• Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
• Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

• Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
• Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
• Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
• Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
• Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
• Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
• Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
• Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

• Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
• Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
• Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

• Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
• Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
• Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

• Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
• Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
• Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
• Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

• Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
• Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

• Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
• Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
• Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

• Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
• Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
• Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

• A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
• A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
• Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive.

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

Vague, Unobservant Description

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness.

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

The Bottom Line

• Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
• The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
• The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
• The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
• The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

Trending Now

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

ACT vs. SAT: Which Test Should You Take?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Get Your Free

Find Your Target SAT Score

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect SAT Score, by an Expert Full Scorer

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading and Writing

How to Improve Your Low SAT Score

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading and Writing

Find Your Target ACT Score

Complete Official Free ACT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect ACT Score, by a 36 Full Scorer

Get a 36 on ACT English

Get a 36 on ACT Math

Get a 36 on ACT Reading

Get a 36 on ACT Science

How to Improve Your Low ACT Score

Get a 24 on ACT English

Get a 24 on ACT Math

Get a 24 on ACT Reading

Get a 24 on ACT Science

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

• Get Started
• Join Our Team
• (212) 262-3500
• Initial Consultation
• IvyWise Roundtable
• School Placement
• Test Prep & Tutoring
• Early College Guidance
• College Admissions Counseling
• Academic Tutoring
• Test Prep Tutoring
• Research Mentorship
• Academic Advising
• Transfer Admissions
• Graduate Admissions
• School Partnerships
• Webinars and Events
• IvyWise By The Numbers
• Testimonials
• Dr. Kat Cohen
• IvyWise In The News
• IvyWise Gives Back
• IvyWise Blog
• Just Admit It! Podcast
• Admission Statistics

10 College Application Essay Dos and Don’ts

Check out our Just Admit It! Podcast

IvyWise counselors Rachel  and Zach share their top tips on how to brainstorm and write college application essays, and what admissions officers are looking for when they read them on the Just Admit It! college admissions podcast , giving listeners expert insight from former admissions officers.

Writing college application essays is often the most stressful part of the admissions process for students, and as a result many tend to put them off until the last minute.

Delaying your work on college application essays isn’t the best move, particularly because the National Association for College Admission Counseling classifies application essays as the most important “soft” factor, or non-quantitative elements, that colleges consider when making admissions decisions, right behind “hard” factors, or quantitative components, like grades, curriculum, and test scores. And in a year where more colleges than ever are test-optional , soft factors like the essay will carry even more weight in the admissions process this fall.

However, if you’re behind on your college admissions essays, don’t panic. There are a number of steps that students can take to put together the most accurate and compelling personal statements  and school-specific supplements that will help their chances of gaining admission to their top-choice colleges.

Here are some college application essay dos and don’ts for students to keep in mind as they complete their applications before Jan. 1 deadlines.

DON’T use the personal statement essay to repeat your activities list.

This can’t be stressed enough. The personal statement is your opportunity to reveal something about yourself that can’t be found anywhere else in your application — use it! Many students use this essay to expound upon activities or interests that are already heavily demonstrated in their application through courses, the activity list, and more. Instead of reinforcing a top activity or interest, write about something that reveals another dimension of your life or personality. If your top activity is swimming, don’t write about the big championship meet. Find something else that reveals something new and that shows you put a lot of thought into your essay. If your study of AP biology conflicts with your religious views, write about that and how you reconciled the two. Dig deep to find a topic that’s meaningful.

DO show a slice of your life.

When developing a topic that reveals something new, find a way to frame the story or idea that shows a slice of your life or the event. Be descriptive and give details that appeal to the senses – taste, touch, smell, etc. When writing about a meaningful experience or event, you don’t have to give a long timeline of events. Instead, give the reader the piece of the puzzle that conveys your message. Particularly when you’re feeling stressed for time, it can be helpful to remember that your job isn’t necessarily to tell a full-length story; it’s to focus on something smaller that demonstrates who you are and what you stand for.

DON’T copy and paste.

With upwards of 25 or more essays to write for a balanced college list of 10-12 schools, it’s tempting for students to repurpose essays across applications if the prompts are similar, especially when working down to the wire. While students can use the same main essay on the Common App for multiple schools, we always recommend that students tailor their supplemental essays to the individual colleges. Telling Caltech why you want to attend MIT is a quick way to end up in the “no” pile.

At the end of the day, attempting to repurpose essays isn’t the time-efficient solution either. While it might seem like a quick-fix, you’ll likely spend more time trying to rework an existing piece than you would if you started from scratch. Instead, give each essay a fresh start and set aside time to give every prompt your all.

DO show your knowledge of the college.

When tailoring responses to individual college prompts, it’s important to use specific details you’ve learned through visiting and research. Not only does this show colleges that you’ve have done your homework, but it also demonstrates your interest in the college – and colleges want to admit students who are likely to enroll. Show your knowledge of the college by mentioning specific courses, professors, places of interest, and more. Show how you fit into the campus culture and how you will impact the community through specific examples.

DON’T say what you think the admissions office wants to hear.

So many students think that they “know” what colleges want from an applicant , and this can have a big influence over their essays. Students will overuse the thesaurus and write about strange topics in an effort to impress and stand out. Instead of writing what you think the admissions office wants to read, write about what you want them to know.

Again, the essay is a great space to reveal something new about you, so stand out by being authentic and showing another side of yourself. For students who feel like they’re pressed for time, being genuine is likely also your most efficient strategy. Forget about trying to concoct a version of yourself that you think the admissions office wants to see and let your authentic personality shine through.

DO use your voice.

Using lofty language and complex sentence structure can make you sound sophisticated, but is that really how you speak? Don’t let your voice get lost in the pursuit to impress readers. Instead, write like you speak – keeping in mind that proper grammar and spelling is still important.

DON’T rely only on spellcheck.

Spellcheck won’t catch every spelling or grammatical error! Take the time to read over all your essays carefully and keep an eye out for things like “out” when you meant to say “our” and other common typos. Especially when you’re short on time, it can be easy to overlook spelling and grammar, but it’s always worth the few extra minutes to make sure you have error-free content. To be extra safe, have a parent or counselor read over the essay, too, to catch any errors you might have missed. Spelling and grammar errors can take away from an otherwise stellar essay – so be mindful.

DO double check that you’ve addressed the prompt.

This is one of the most common mistakes that students make . In the pursuit to write the perfect essay, many forget to connect it to the original prompt. While the Common Application prompts for the main essay are general enough to allow students to write about whatever they choose, it still needs to be clear how that essay addresses the prompt. The same applies to school-specific essays. Check and double check that a clear connection is made between the topic of your essay and the question the prompt is asking.

DON’T panic.

Working down to the wire can undoubtedly be stressful. Instead of beating yourself up for not starting sooner or worrying that you won’t be able to finish everything on time, focus on what you can control. Put all of your energy toward your application essays and devote as much time to writing and editing as possible. Keep tabs on every admissions deadline and prioritize what you will work on first accordingly. Create a strategy for completing every essay and stay accountable to the timeline you’ve created.

DO seek feedback when you can.

While it’s imperative that students write their own essays and use their authentic voice, every writer can benefit from a second set of eyes. Your college counselor can provide valuable insight into how to improve your college application essays, so seek feedback on your drafts as soon as possible.  School-based counselors  have a lot of students to advise and are very busy, so don’t wait!

Essays are an important component in the college application process. While the essay alone won’t gain you admission to your top-choice college, a poorly written one can send you to the “no” pile pretty quickly. Consequently, it’s important to give every essay your all and seek guidance when you need it – especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed leading up to critical deadlines.

If you need additional help with your college application essays, IvyWise offers a number of services designed to help high school seniors with their college applications . Contact us today for more information on our programs for seniors!

KnowledgeBase Resources

The IvyWise KnowlegeBase provides the most current information about the admissions process. Select from the content categories below:

• Admission Decisions
• Admission Rates
• Admissions Interviews
• Admissions Trends
• Athletic Recruiting
• Choosing a College
• College Application Tips
• College Essay Tips
• College Lists
• College Majors
• College Planning
• College Prep
• College Visits
• Common Application
• Course Planning
• Demonstrated Interest
• Early Decision/Early Action
• Executive Functioning
• Extracurricular Activities
• Independent Project
• International Students
• Law School Admissions
• MBA Admissions
• Medical School Admissions
• Middle School
• Outside Reading
• Recommendation Letters
• Summer Planning
• Test Prep Tips
• U.K. Admissions

Home » IvyWise KnowledgeBase » IvyWise Resources » All Articles » 10 College Application Essay Dos and Don’ts

Words and Phrases to Avoid in your College Essays

When it comes to college essays, sometimes the words you choose not to write make just as much of an impact as the words you do choose to write.

Readers get bored with seeing the same old clichés and run-on expressions over and over again. And adding in fluffy language or confusing idioms can leave them feeling lost in your words.

So how do you know exactly which words and phrases you should avoid in your writing assignments?

To start, you can seek inspiration from college essays that worked for other students. But ultimately it's nice to have a list of what not to do to help you avoid potential mistakes along the way.

What you Should Avoid

1. contractions.

Contractions may seem informal or lazy to the reader. Take the time to write the full phrase out.

NO: It's been a journey.

YES: It has been a journey.

Idioms can be confusing and are often overused. Clearly state what you mean in your own words.

NO: I thought the fancy-looking house was going to be awesome, but all that glitters is not gold .

YES: Even though I thought the new house was going to be incredible with its fancy appliances and enormous windows, I was proven wrong as the appliances all broke within the first week and the windows all leaked.

Also, phrases that introduce idioms are overused. Avoid using phrases like: You know what they say ... But we all know ... As we've heard over and over again ...

Clichés are so... cliché. Everyone is using them, and the words have lost their power. Choose specific and illustrative examples to use so your essay isn't lumped into a pile with all the essays that use worn-out clichés.

NO: I knew I had to give 110% if I was going to win the race.

YES: I knew I needed to train harder than I ever had before—before school, after school, every weekend—if I was going to win the race.

Phrases like “ Every cloud has a silver lining ” and “ Better late than never ” have no place in a creative and original college essay. This is your chance to paint a complete picture of yourself and your personality. Use descriptive language to let the reader hear your voice in your writing instead of an overused, out-of-date expression.

4. Slang and Abbreviations

I hope u r 2 smart to write something like this in a college essay. Abbreviations are not at all acceptable in formal writing such as a college essay.

Also, slang needs to be avoided. Use common language that people of all ages will understand. Remember your audience; you're writing for your professor, not your friends. And tone should reflect that.

NO: The party was lit , and everything was Gucci .

YES: The party was lively, the music was loud and fun, and everyone was having an amazing night.

5. Vague or Elementary Words

Use words that show you're capable of a deeper, more thorough understanding of topics. Avoid words that are vague or simple when there is a better way to demonstrate your meaning.

NO: The thing I read showed that the environment is bad .

YES: The article I studied concluded that the environment had been devastated by the recent occurrences of hurricanes and flooding.

If you find yourself using words like thing, stuff, bad, good, shows, and gives , challenge yourself to replace these words with stronger, more descriptive language.

6. Run-On Expressions

A run-on expression is a phrase, usually at the end of a list, that indicates you could add more examples ( and so on, and so forth, etc. ).

If something needs to be added to your list of examples, add specific examples. Don't add expressions such as etc. and and so on . These are vague and add nothing of substance to your essay.

NO: I love many sports: basketball, baseball, etc.

YES: I love many sports: basketball, baseball, soccer, tennis, and lacrosse.

7. Filler Words or Weak Modifiers

Increasing your word count by adding filler words will make your essay actually, very, very, very weak.

If you can get rid of a word and it makes no difference to your writing, get rid of it. Or better yet, rephrase it to demonstrate what you truly are trying to convey.

NO: I totally believe that we should actually make the laws much, much more strict very soon.

YES: I believe we should urgently make the laws more strict.

8. Exaggerated Words

Not everything you write about needs to be about the best or the worst . When you exaggerate in writing, it can come off as being insincere. Words like always and perfect also fall into this category.

NO: My team was the best team ever because we always played well and our shots were always perfect .

YES: My team was gifted at the game and played well. We could make some amazing shots.

9. Unnecessary Words

Sometimes writers don't even realize they are adding words that aren't needed. Compare these two examples:

NO: She has got four little puppies.

YES: She has four little puppies.

NO: This lotion helps to smooth the skin.

YES: This lotion helps smooth the skin.

Eliminating unnecessary words makes writing more clear and coherent. This is also an easy way to cut down when you're trying meet a word count requirement .

10. Grammatical Errors, Fragments, and Run-on Sentences

When your college essay draft is complete, make sure to proofread it thoroughly. And have a teacher or talented writer proof it again for you.

Avoid any spelling and grammatical errors, but also avoid fragments and run-on sentences. When it doubt, use an online sentence fragment checker or a grammar checker such as Grammarly to triple-check your work.

When writing, choose your words carefully. Pick the words that will make the greatest impact on your message and keep the reader's attention. Avoid the words and phrases that will make your essay weak and boring.

With careful consideration of your word choices, your essays will stand out for all of the right reasons. You'll be submitting advanced writing assignments that will help you ace your coursework!

How to Write Essay Titles and Headers

Don’t overlook the title and section headers when putting together your next writing assignment. Follow these pointers for keeping your writing organized and effective.

101 Standout Argumentative Essay Topic Ideas

Need a topic for your upcoming argumentative essay? We've got 100 helpful prompts to help you get kickstarted on your next writing assignment.

Writing a Standout College Admissions Essay

Your personal statement is arguably the most important part of your college application. Follow these guidelines for an exceptional admissions essay.

• Lake Park High School Scholarship
• The College Careers Consulting Homeschool Scholarship
• Free Consultation
• 708 268 5230
• [email protected]

College Essay Don’ts: 20 Things to Avoid to Stand Out

• August 19, 2023

College admissions officers have their own preferences when it comes to essays, but they all tend to agree on what they dislike. It can be disheartening to think that you can’t guarantee a perfect essay, but avoiding certain mistakes will increase your chances of success. A blunder in your college essay could potentially cost you admission to your dream school. The good news is that many of these mistakes can be easily avoided if you understand what they are and why they matter. If you’re looking for guidance, here’s a closer look at what you should avoid writing in your college application essay.

#1 No need to show off your Academic Superhero Cape!

(aka – avoid repeating information) Your grades and awards already speak volumes. Let’s focus on the real YOU! Think about what the application already says about you and avoid repeating the information already present in your academic record, such as your grades, test scores, and extracurricular activities. Instead, focus on unique aspects of your personality and experiences.

# 2 Don’t Be a Topic Troublemaker:

(aka – avoid controversial topics) Stay away from controversial subjects that’ll make the admissions officer do a double take! No political hot buttons, please! Examples: Avoid writing about gun control, abortion, or immigration policies.

#3 Say No to Essay Monotony:

(aka – avoid a general topic) It’s not a robotic analysis; it’s a character-revealing adventure! Share specific moments that highlight your amazing self in action! For instance, write about a particular challenge you faced and how you overcame it, revealing your determination and resilience.

#4 Famous Quotes, Really?

( aka – avoid opening with a famous quotation) Unless it’s your life motto, let’s save the inspirational stuff for Pinterest boards. Your own words rock, buddy!

#5 Avoid Making Someone Else the Star:

(aka – avoid writing about someone else) Though it might be tempting to write extensively about a role model or someone else’s accomplishments, it’s a bad idea. Making them standout is not the goal. The essay should primarily focus on your own experiences, growth, and achievements.

#6 Don’t Dribble Away Your Essay on Sports:

(aka – avoid sports) Sports enthusiasts, listen up! Even if you’re the next LeBron or Serena, don’t dribble away your essay on sports. Show them your versatility! Everyone writes about sports. Even if sports are your strong suit, it’s advisable to avoid writing solely about them. Instead, explore other aspects of your life or personal interests to provide a well-rounded portrayal of yourself.

#7 Tragic Topics Need a Twist:

( aka – avoid tragic topics) Tragic tales need a twist! Only focus on personal growth through tough times. No tearjerker drama without redemption, please!. Here are some examples: Loss of a loved one: While it can be tempting to write about the profound impact of losing a family member or close friend, it’s important to shift the focus towards personal growth, strength, or lessons learned from the experience. Avoid dwelling solely on the sadness and grief associated with the loss. Serious illnesses or medical conditions: Writing about personal health struggles can be challenging, as it’s important to strike a balance between sharing the experience and highlighting one’s ability to overcome adversity. Focus on resilience, determination, or the insights gained from facing the challenge rather than just recounting the medical details. Natural disasters or tragic events: Discussing traumatic events like earthquakes, hurricanes, or acts of violence can be sensitive. If you choose to write about such events, it’s crucial to emphasize personal growth, community resilience, or efforts made to contribute positively towards recovery or prevention. Avoid sensationalizing or dwelling excessively on the tragedy itself. Personal accidents or injuries: If you’ve experienced a serious accident or injury, be cautious when writing about it. Instead of focusing solely on the negative aspects, highlight your determination, perseverance, or the lessons learned during the recovery process

#8 Start With a Bang, Not a Yawn!

(aka – avoid preludes) This is an essay about…” Snoozeville! Starting your essay with a generic introduction lacks creativity and engagement. Grab the reader’s attention with a compelling opening that sets the tone for your unique story.

#9 No Fairy Tale Ending:

(aka – avoid cliché endings) No happily ever afters, my friend! Show them your learning, don’t tell them. Leave ’em wanting more! Conclude your essay without resorting to a cliché ending. If you have effectively conveyed your growth and lessons learned throughout the essay, there’s no need to explicitly state it again in the conclusion.

#11 Don’t Play Professor Know-It-All:

( aka – avoid campaigning) Avoid pleading your case. Let your story speak for itself! Refrain from telling readers what they should think or advocating for a particular viewpoint. Instead, focus on expressing your own thoughts and experiences without trying to persuade or convince the reader.

#11 No Black Holes:

(aka – avoid being flawless) Don’t get lost in your own thoughts. Embrace your complexities, including your mistakes and imperfections, rather than presenting an idealized version of yourself. It’s more effective to embrace vulnerability and showcase personal growth. Admissions officers value authenticity and want to understand the real person behind the achievements. Sharing genuine experiences, including setbacks and lessons learned, allows the reader to connect with the applicant on a deeper level and fosters a more meaningful understanding of their character and potential contributions.

#12 Too Much Info Alert!

(aka – avoid oversharing) Be cautious about sharing too much information in your essay. While no stories are off-limits, present them in a way that captivates the reader and invites them into your experience, rather than traumatizing the reader and pushing them into a black-hole. Example: In an essay, one of our students delved into a traumatic event from his childhood where he witnessed a violent crime. Rather than approaching the topic with sensitivity and focusing on personal growth, he described every gruesome detail of the incident. He vividly recounted the blood-soaked scene, the screams echoing in his ears, and the fear that consumed Him. The essay became a graphic and unsettling account that could potentially disturb or traumatize the reader.While it’s important to share personal experiences authentically, it’s equally crucial to consider the emotional impact on the reader. Oversharing in this context involves providing excessive and distressing details without proper consideration for the potential impact on the audience. Instead, it would be more appropriate to focus on the emotional journey, resilience, and personal growth that stemmed from that traumatic event, while omitting explicit and potentially traumatizing elements.

#13 Leave the Fiction To the Novels:

(aka – avoid lying) No made-up stories about yourself, okay? Keep it real, authentic, and genuine! Never fabricate stories or exaggerate your experiences in your essay. Admissions officers value honesty and integrity, and it’s important to present genuine narratives that reflect your true character.

#14 Avoid The Ego Extravaganza!

(aka – avoid overconfidence) No need to shower yourself with endless praise. Instead, embrace humility and share a moment of doubt or setback. It’s all about growth, baby! Consider discussing a setback or moment of doubt that highlights your resilience and personal growth. Student Example:In my college essay, I proudly proclaimed, “I am simply exceptional in everything I do. From acing every exam to effortlessly leading multiple clubs and winning countless awards, my accomplishments speak for themselves. It’s clear that I am the epitome of greatness and a force to be reckoned with.”This example exudes an overconfident tone by emphasizing the author’s achievements without any humility or self-reflection. It lacks depth and fails to provide insight into the person behind the accomplishments. The essay solely focuses on accolades and fails to highlight personal growth, setbacks overcome, or lessons learned from challenges.

#15 Don’t Diss The Reader:

(aka – avoid belittling) Refrain from talking down to or demeaning the reader in your essay. They are not minions. Keep the tone respectful and inclusive!

#16 Dump Being Robotic-Like:

( aka – avoid being cold) Let your emotions flow like a river. Show them the real you, with heart and soul! Infuse the essay with your emotions, allowing your genuine feelings to shine through in your storytelling. Unlike the essays you’ve written for class, this essay provides an opportunity to showcase your unique voice and personality. Student Example: “Instead of writing a bland and emotionless account of my volunteering experience at a local animal shelter, I poured my heart into the essay. I vividly described the overwhelming joy I felt when I first met the abandoned puppy, with his timid eyes and wagging tail. I shared the genuine empathy and compassion that welled up inside me as I nurtured him back to health. Through my words, the admissions officers could feel the sense of purpose and fulfillment that I experienced, and they could connect with my passion for animal welfare. By infusing my essay with emotions and letting my genuine feelings guide my storytelling, I was able to showcase my authentic self and create a memorable and impactful essay.”

#17 Don’t Be a Broken Record:

(aka – avoid repeating the same words and sentences) Break the repetition cycle! Spice up your writing with varied words and sentence structures. Keep it fresh and exciting! Repetition can make your writing monotonous and dull.

#18 Look For Grammar Gremlins and Wonky Formatting:

(aka – avoid errors) Pay attention to typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation errors, and formatting issues. These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall quality of your essay. Proofread your work carefully and consider seeking feedback from others to ensure your writing is error-free.

#19 Chill Out On the Negativity!

(aka – avoid being negative about the college you’re applying to) Keep any negative thoughts about the college to yourself. Focus on why you’re excited to be part of their community. Positive vibes only! Focus on highlighting your fit with the institution, its values, and what you can contribute to the campus community.

#20 Don’t Waste Time:

(aka – avoid procrastinating) Get those admission officers smiling, not cringing. Make sure to give yourself enough time to write your essay. It’s best to start early and take your time to create a great piece of writing. If you’re struggling to come up with ideas, try brainstorming with friends or making a list of potential topics. Don’t worry if your first attempt isn’t perfect, as the more time you have to work on it, the better it will become. Remember, good writing takes time, so start early and give yourself the time needed to produce a high-quality essay.

Ready to impress the college of your dreams with a standout essay?

Don’t stress! We got you covered. Our essay writing coach, Mrs. Miller, is here to guide you through the process and help you present the best version of yourself on paper. Don’t hesitate to reach out for the support you need to succeed. Contact us today.

The Power of Summer: Writing College Essays and Securing Your Future

The enigmatic college financial conversation: navigating the maze of timing and practicality, related posts.

Navigating the FAFSA Maze: What’s Changing in 2024-25?

• November 13, 2023

Username or Email Address

Remember Me

Registration confirmation will be emailed to you.

Have a language expert improve your writing

Check your paper for plagiarism in 10 minutes, generate your apa citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• College essay
• College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn’t

College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't

Published on November 8, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

One effective method for improving your college essay is to read example essays . Here are three sample essays, each with a bad and good version to help you improve your own essay.

Table of contents

Essay 1: sharing an identity or background through a montage, essay 2: overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative, essay 3: showing the influence of an important person or thing, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

This essay uses a montage structure to show snapshots of a student’s identity and background. The writer builds her essay around the theme of the five senses, sharing memories she associates with sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.

In the weak rough draft, there is little connection between the individual anecdotes, and they do not robustly demonstrate the student’s qualities.

In the final version, the student uses an extended metaphor of a museum to create a strong connection among her stories, each showcasing a different part of her identity. She draws a specific personal insight from each memory and uses the stories to demonstrate her qualities and values.

How My Five Senses Record My Life

Throughout my life, I have kept a record of my life’s journey with my five senses. This collection of memories matters a great deal because I experience life every day through the lens of my identity.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

My classmate pulls one eye up and the other down.

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention to my discomfort, anger, and shame. How could he say such a mean thing about me? What did I do to him? Joseph’s words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Soaking in overflowing bubble baths with Andrew Lloyd Webber belting from the boombox.

Listening to “Cell Block Tango” with my grandparents while eating filet mignon at a dine-in show in Ashland.

Singing “The Worst Pies in London” at a Korean karaoke club while laughing hysterically with my brother, who can do an eerily spot-on rendition of Sweeney Todd.

Taking car rides with Mom in the Toyota Sequoia as we compete to hit the high note in “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera . Neither of us stands a chance!

The sweet scent of vegetables, Chinese noodles, and sushi wafts through the room as we sit around the table. My grandma presents a good-smelling mixture of international cuisine for our Thanksgiving feast. My favorite is the Chinese food that she cooks. Only the family prayer stands between me and the chance to indulge in these delicious morsels, comforting me with their familiar savory scents.

I rinse a faded plastic plate decorated by my younger sister at the Waterworks Art Center. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. I actually don’t mind this daily chore.

I taste sweat on my upper lip as I fight to continue pedaling on a stationary bike. Ava’s next to me and tells me to go up a level. We’re biking buddies, dieting buddies, and Saturday morning carbo-load buddies. After the bike display hits 30 minutes, we do a five-minute cool down, drink Gatorade, and put our legs up to rest.

My five senses are always gathering new memories of my identity. I’m excited to expand my collection.

Word count: 455

College essay checklist

Topic and structure

• I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me.
• My essay reveals something different from the rest of my application.
• I have a clear and well-structured narrative.
• I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

Writing style and tone

• I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.
• I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of tells.
• I’ve used appropriate style and tone for a college essay.
• I’ve used specific, vivid personal stories that would be hard to replicate.
• I’ve demonstrated my positive traits and values in my essay.
• My essay is focused on me, not another person or thing.
• I’ve included self-reflection and insight in my essay.
• I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Making Sense of My Identity

Welcome to The Rose Arimoto Museum. You are about to enter the “Making Sense of My Identity” collection. Allow me to guide you through select exhibits, carefully curated memories from Rose’s sensory experiences.

First, the Sight Exhibit.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention as my lip trembles and palms sweat. Joseph couldn’t have known how his words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Ten years later, these same eyes now fixate on an InDesign layout sheet, searching for grammar errors while my friend Selena proofreads our feature piece on racial discrimination in our hometown. As we’re the school newspaper editors, our journalism teacher Ms. Riley allows us to stay until midnight to meet tomorrow’s deadline. She commends our work ethic, which for me is fueled by writing一my new weapon of choice.

Next, you’ll encounter the Sound Exhibit.

Still, the world is my Broadway as I find my voice on stage.

Just below, enter the Smell Exhibit.

While I help my Pau Pau prepare dinner, she divulges her recipe for cha siu bau, with its soft, pillowy white exterior hiding the fragrant filling of braised barbecue pork inside. The sweet scent of candied yams, fun see , and Spam musubi wafts through the room as we gather around our Thankgsiving feast. After our family prayer, we indulge in these delicious morsels until our bellies say stop. These savory scents of my family’s cultural heritage linger long after I’ve finished the last bite.

Next up, the Touch Exhibit.

I rinse a handmade mug that I had painstakingly molded and painted in ceramics class. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. For a few fleeting moments, as I continue my nightly chore, the pressure of my weekend job, tomorrow’s calculus exam, and next week’s track meet are washed away.

Finally, we end with the Taste Exhibit.

My legs fight to keep pace with the stationary bike as the salty taste of sweat seeps into corners of my mouth. Ava challenges me to take it up a level. We always train together一even keeping each other accountable on our strict protein diet of chicken breasts, broccoli, and Muscle Milk. We occasionally splurge on Saturday mornings after interval training, relishing the decadence of everything bagels smeared with raspberry walnut cream cheese. But this is Wednesday, so I push myself. I know that once the digital display hits 30:00, we’ll allow our legs to relax into a five-minute cool down, followed by the fiery tang of Fruit Punch Gatorade to rehydrate.

Thank you for your attention. This completes our tour. I invite you to rejoin us for next fall’s College Experience collection, which will exhibit Rose’s continual search for identity and learning.

Word count: 649

• I’ve crafted an essay introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay uses a narrative structure to recount how a student overcame a challenge, specifically a sports injury. Since this topic is often overused, the essay requires vivid description, a memorable introduction and conclusion , and interesting insight.

The weak rough draft contains an interesting narrative, insight, and vivid imagery, but it has an overly formal tone that distracts the reader from the story. The student’s use of elaborate vocabulary in every sentence makes the essay sound inauthentic and stilted.

The final essay uses a more natural, conversational tone and chooses words that are vivid and specific without being pretentious. This allows the reader to focus on the narrative and appreciate the student’s unique insight.

One fateful evening some months ago, a defensive linebacker mauled me, his 212 pounds indisputably alighting upon my ankle. Ergo, an abhorrent cracking of calcified tissue. At first light the next day, I awoke cognizant of a new paradigm—one sans football—promulgated by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

It’s been an exceedingly taxing semester not being able to engage in football, but I am nonetheless excelling in school. That twist of fate never would have come to pass if I hadn’t broken my ankle. I still limp down the halls at school, but I’m feeling less maudlin these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, emboldened by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

Five months ago, right after my ill-fated injury, my friends’ demeanor became icy and remote, although I couldn’t fathom why. My teachers, in contrast, beckoned me close and invited me on a new learning journey. But despite their indubitably kind advances, even they recoiled when I drew near.

A few weeks later, I started to change my attitude vis-à-vis my newfound situation and determined to put my energy toward productive ends (i.e., homework). I wasn’t enamored with school. I never had been. Nevertheless, I didn’t abhor it either. I just preferred football.

My true turn of fate came when I started studying more and participating in class. I started to enjoy history class, and I grew interested in reading more. I discovered a volume of poems written by a fellow adventurer on the road of life, and I loved it. I ravenously devoured everything in the writer’s oeuvre .

As the weeks flitted past, I found myself spending my time with a group of people who were quite different from me. They participated in theater and played instruments in marching band. They raised their hands in class when the teacher posed a question. Because of their auspicious influence, I started raising my hand too. I am no longer vapid, and I now have something to say.

I am certain that your school would benefit from my miraculous academic transformation, and I entreat you to consider my application to your fine institution. Accepting me to your university would be an unequivocally righteous decision.

Word count: 408

• I’ve chosen a college essay topic that’s meaningful to me.
• I’ve respected the essay word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

As I step out of bed, the pain shoots through my foot and up my leg like it has every morning since “the game.” That night, a defensive linebacker tackled me, his 212 pounds landing decidedly on my ankle. I heard the sound before I felt it. The next morning, I awoke to a new reality—one without football—announced by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

My broken ankle broke my spirit.

My friends steered clear of me as I hobbled down the halls at school. My teachers tried to find the delicate balance between giving me space and offering me help. I was as unsure how to deal with myself as they were.

In time, I figured out how to redirect some of my frustration, anger, and pent-up energy toward my studies. I had never not liked school, but I had never really liked it either. In my mind, football practice was my real-life classroom, where I could learn all I ever needed to know.

Then there was that day in Mrs. Brady’s history class. We sang a ridiculous-sounding mnemonic song to memorize all the Chinese dynasties from Shang to Qing. I mumbled the words at first, but I got caught up in the middle of the laughter and began singing along. Starting that day, I began browsing YouTube videos about history, curious to learn more. I had started learning something new, and, to my surprise, I liked it.

With my afternoons free from burpees and scrimmages, I dared to crack open a few more of my books to see what was in them. That’s when my English poetry book, Paint Me Like I Am , caught my attention. It was full of poems written by students my age from WritersCorps. I couldn’t get enough.

I wasn’t the only one who was taken with the poems. Previously, I’d only been vaguely aware of Christina as one of the weird kids I avoided. Crammed in the margins of her high-top Chuck Taylors were scribbled lines of her own poetry and infinite doodles. Beyond her punk rock persona was a sensitive artist, puppy-lover, and environmental activist that a wide receiver like me would have never noticed before.

With Christina, I started making friends with people who once would have been invisible to me: drama geeks, teachers’ pets, band nerds. Most were college bound but not to play a sport. They were smart and talented, and they cared about people and politics and all sorts of issues that I hadn’t considered before. Strangely, they also seemed to care about me.

I still limp down the halls at school, but I don’t seem to mind as much these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, excited by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

My broken ankle broke my spirit. Then, it broke my ignorance.

Word count: 512

This essay uses a narrative structure to show how a pet positively influenced the student’s values and character.

In the weak draft, the student doesn’t focus on himself, instead delving into too much detail about his dog’s positive traits and his grandma’s illness. The essay’s structure is meandering, with tangents and details that don’t communicate any specific insight.

In the improved version, the student keeps the focus on himself, not his pet. He chooses the most relevant stories to demonstrate specific qualities, and the structure more clearly builds up to an insightful conclusion.

Man’s Best Friend

I desperately wanted a cat. I begged my parents for one, but once again, my sisters overruled me, so we drove up the Thompson Valley Canyon from Loveland to Estes Park to meet our newest family member. My sisters had already hatched their master plan, complete with a Finding Nemo blanket to entice the pups. The blanket was a hit with all of them, except for one—the one who walked over and sat in my lap. That was the day that Francisco became a Villanova.

Maybe I should say he was mine because I got stuck with all the chores. As expected, my dog-loving sisters were nowhere to be found! My mom was “extra” with all the doggy gear. Cisco even had to wear these silly little puppy shoes outside so that when he came back in, he wouldn’t get the carpets dirty. If it was raining, my mother insisted I dress Cisco in a ridiculous yellow raincoat, but, in my opinion, it was an unnecessary source of humiliation for poor Cisco. It didn’t take long for Cisco to decide that his outerwear could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I took off one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his ensemble more when we had to walk through snowdrifts to get his job done.

When my abuela was dying from cancer, we went in the middle of the night to see her before she passed. I was sad and scared. But, my dad let me take Cisco in the car, so Cisco cuddled with me and made me feel much better. It’s like he could read my mind. Once we arrived at the hospital, the fluorescent lighting made the entire scene seem unreal, as if I was watching the scene unfold through someone else’s eyes. My grandma lay calmly on her bed, smiling at us even through her last moments of pain. I disliked seeing the tubes and machines hooked up to her. It was unnatural to see her like this一it was so unlike the way I usually saw her beautiful in her flowery dress, whistling a Billie Holiday tune and baking snickerdoodle cookies in the kitchen. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained at the foot of the bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that seemed more effective at communicating comfort and compassion than the rest of us who attempted to offer up words of comfort that just seemed hollow and insincere. It was then that I truly appreciated Cisco’s empathy for others.

As I accompanied my dad to pick up our dry cleaner’s from Ms. Chapman, a family friend asked, “How’s Cisco?” before even asking about my sisters or me. Cisco is the Villanova family mascot, a Goldendoodle better recognized by strangers throughout Loveland than the individual members of my family.

On our summer trip to Boyd Lake State Park, we stayed at the Cottonwood campground for a breathtaking view of the lake. Cisco was allowed to come, but we had to keep him on a leash at all times. After a satisfying meal of fish, our entire family walked along the beach. Cisco and I led the way while my mom and sisters shuffled behind. Cisco always stopped and refused to move, looking back to make sure the others were still following. Once satisfied that everyone was together, he would turn back around and continue prancing with his golden boy curly locks waving in the chilly wind.

On the beach, Cisco “accidentally” got let off his leash and went running maniacally around the sand, unfettered and free. His pure joy as he raced through the sand made me forget about my AP Chem exam or my student council responsibilities. He brings a smile not only to my family members but everyone around him.

Cisco won’t live forever, but without words, he has impressed upon me life lessons of responsibility, compassion, loyalty, and joy. I can’t imagine life without him.

Word count: 701

I quickly figured out that as “the chosen one,” I had been enlisted by Cisco to oversee all aspects of his “business.” I learned to put on Cisco’s doggie shoes to keep the carpet clean before taking him out一no matter the weather. Soon after, Cisco decided that his shoes could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I removed one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his footwear more after I’d gear him up and we’d tread through the snow for his daily walks.

One morning, it was 7:15 a.m., and Alejandro was late again to pick me up. “Cisco, you don’t think he overslept again, do you?” Cisco barked, as if saying, “Of course he did!” A text message would never do, so I called his dad, even if it was going to get him in trouble. There was no use in both of us getting another tardy during our first-period class, especially since I was ready on time after taking Cisco for his morning outing. Alejandro was mad at me but not too much. He knew I had helped him out, even if he had to endure his dad’s lecture on punctuality.

Another early morning, I heard my sister yell, “Mom! Where are my good ballet flats? I can’t find them anywhere!” I hesitated and then confessed, “I moved them.” She shrieked at me in disbelief, but I continued, “I put them in your closet, so Cisco wouldn’t chew them up.” More disbelief. However, this time, there was silence instead of shrieking.

Last spring, Cisco and I were fast asleep when the phone rang at midnight. Abuela would not make it through the night after a long year of chemo, but she was in Pueblo, almost three hours away. Sitting next to me for that long car ride on I-25 in pitch-black darkness, Cisco knew exactly what I needed and snuggled right next to me as I petted his coat in a rhythm while tears streamed down my face. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained sitting at the foot of the hospital bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that communicated more comfort than our hollow words. Since then, whenever I sense someone is upset, I sit in silence with them or listen to their words, just like Cisco did.

The other day, one of my friends told me, “You’re a strange one, Josue. You’re not like everybody else but in a good way.” I didn’t know what he meant at first. “You know, you’re super responsible and grown-up. You look out for us instead of yourself. Nobody else does that.” I was a bit surprised because I wasn’t trying to do anything different. I was just being me. But then I realized who had taught me: a fluffy little puppy who I had wished was a cat! I didn’t choose Cisco, but he certainly chose me and, unexpectedly, became my teacher, mentor, and friend.

Word count: 617

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Courault, K. (2023, August 14). College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't. Scribbr. Retrieved August 12, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/college-essay-examples/

Is this article helpful?

Kirsten Courault

Other students also liked, choosing your college essay topic | ideas & examples, how to make your college essay stand out | tips & examples, how to revise your college admissions essay | examples, "i thought ai proofreading was useless but..".

I've been using Scribbr for years now and I know it's a service that won't disappoint. It does a good job spotting mistakes”

This site uses various technologies, as described in our Privacy Policy, for personalization, measuring website use/performance, and targeted advertising, which may include storing and sharing information about your site visit with third parties. By continuing to use this website you consent to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use .

We are experiencing sporadically slow performance in our online tools, which you may notice when working in your dashboard. Our team is fully engaged and actively working to improve your online experience. If you are experiencing a connectivity issue, we recommend you try again in 10-15 minutes. We will update this space when the issue is resolved.

Enter your email to unlock an extra $25 off an SAT or ACT program!

By submitting my email address. i certify that i am 13 years of age or older, agree to recieve marketing email messages from the princeton review, and agree to terms of use., crafting an unforgettable college essay.

Most selective colleges require you to submit an essay or personal statement as part of your application.

It may sound like a chore, and it will certainly take a substantial amount of work. But it's also a unique opportunity that can make a difference at decision time. Admissions committees put the most weight on your high school grades and your test scores . However, selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students with similar scores and grades—too many to admit. So they use your essay, along with your letters of recommendation and extracurricular activities , to find out what sets you apart from the other talented candidates.

Telling Your Story to Colleges

So what does set you apart?

You have a unique background, interests and personality. This is your chance to tell your story (or at least part of it). The best way to tell your story is to write a personal, thoughtful essay about something that has meaning for you. Be honest and genuine, and your unique qualities will shine through.

Admissions officers have to read an unbelievable number of college essays, most of which are forgettable. Many students try to sound smart rather than sounding like themselves. Others write about a subject that they don't care about, but that they think will impress admissions officers.

You don't need to have started your own business or have spent the summer hiking the Appalachian Trail. Colleges are simply looking for thoughtful, motivated students who will add something to the first-year class.

Tips for a Stellar College Application Essay

1. write about something that's important to you..

It could be an experience, a person, a book—anything that has had an impact on your life. 

2. Don't just recount—reflect! 

Anyone can write about how they won the big game or the summer they spent in Rome. When recalling these events, you need to give more than the play-by-play or itinerary. Describe what you learned from the experience and how it changed you.

Free SAT Practice Tests & Events

Evaluate and improve your SAT score.

3. Being funny is tough.

A student who can make an admissions officer laugh never gets lost in the shuffle. But beware. What you think is funny and what an adult working in a college thinks is funny are probably different. We caution against one-liners, limericks and anything off–color.

4. Start early and write several drafts.

Set it aside for a few days and read it again. Put yourself in the shoes of an admissions officer: Is the essay interesting? Do the ideas flow logically? Does it reveal something about the applicant? Is it written in the applicant’s own voice?

5. No repeats.

What you write in your application essay or personal statement should not contradict any other part of your application–nor should it repeat it. This isn't the place to list your awards or discuss your grades or test scores.

6. Answer the question being asked.

Don't reuse an answer to a similar question from another application.

7. Have at least one other person edit your essay.

A teacher or college counselor is your best resource. And before you send it off, check, check again, and then triple check to make sure your essay is free of spelling or grammar errors.

Read More: 2018-2019 Common Application Essay Prompts (and How to Answer Them)

Test Your College Knowledge

How well do you understand the college admissions process? Find out with our quiz.

Take the Quiz

Explore Colleges For You

Connect with our featured colleges to find schools that both match your interests and are looking for students like you.

Career Quiz

Take our short quiz to learn which is the right career for you.

Get Started on Athletic Scholarships & Recruiting!

Join athletes who were discovered, recruited & often received scholarships after connecting with NCSA's 42,000 strong network of coaches.

Best 389 Colleges

165,000 students rate everything from their professors to their campus social scene.

SAT Prep Courses

1400+ course, act prep courses, free sat practice test & events,  1-800-2review, free digital sat prep try our self-paced plus program - for free, get a 14 day trial.

Free MCAT Practice Test

I already know my score.

MCAT Self-Paced 14-Day Free Trial

Enrollment Advisor

1-800-2REVIEW (800-273-8439) ext. 1

1-877-LEARN-30

Mon-Fri 9AM-10PM ET

Sat-Sun 9AM-8PM ET

Student Support

1-800-2REVIEW (800-273-8439) ext. 2

Mon-Fri 9AM-9PM ET

Sat-Sun 8:30AM-5PM ET

Partnerships

• Teach or Tutor for Us

College Readiness

International

Advertising

Affiliate/Other

• Enrollment Terms & Conditions
• Accessibility
• Cigna Medical Transparency in Coverage

Register Book

Local Offices: Mon-Fri 9AM-6PM

• SAT Subject Tests

Academic Subjects

• Social Studies

Find the Right College

• College Rankings
• College Advice
• Applying to College
• Financial Aid

School & District Partnerships

• Professional Development
• Advice Articles
• Private Tutoring
• Mobile Apps
• International Offices
• Work for Us
• Affiliate Program
• Partner with Us
• Advertise with Us
• International Partnerships
• Our Guarantees
• Accessibility – Canada

Privacy Policy | CA Privacy Notice | Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information | Your Opt-Out Rights | Terms of Use | Site Map

©2024 TPR Education IP Holdings, LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Princeton Review is not affiliated with Princeton University

TPR Education, LLC (doing business as “The Princeton Review”) is controlled by Primavera Holdings Limited, a firm owned by Chinese nationals with a principal place of business in Hong Kong, China.

Celebrating 150 years of Harvard Summer School. Learn about our history.

12 Strategies to Writing the Perfect College Essay

College admission committees sift through thousands of college essays each year. Here’s how to make yours stand out.

Pamela Reynolds

When it comes to deciding who they will admit into their programs, colleges consider many criteria, including high school grades, extracurricular activities, and ACT and SAT scores. But in recent years, more colleges are no longer considering test scores.

Instead, many (including Harvard through 2026) are opting for “test-blind” admission policies that give more weight to other elements in a college application. This policy change is seen as fairer to students who don’t have the means or access to testing, or who suffer from test anxiety.

So, what does this mean for you?

Simply that your college essay, traditionally a requirement of any college application, is more important than ever.

A college essay is your unique opportunity to introduce yourself to admissions committees who must comb through thousands of applications each year. It is your chance to stand out as someone worthy of a seat in that classroom.

A well-written and thoughtful essay—reflecting who you are and what you believe—can go a long way to separating your application from the slew of forgettable ones that admissions officers read. Indeed, officers may rely on them even more now that many colleges are not considering test scores.

Below we’ll discuss a few strategies you can use to help your essay stand out from the pack. We’ll touch on how to start your essay, what you should write for your college essay, and elements that make for a great college essay.

Be Authentic

More than any other consideration, you should choose a topic or point of view that is consistent with who you truly are.

Readers can sense when writers are inauthentic.

Inauthenticity could mean the use of overly flowery language that no one would ever use in conversation, or it could mean choosing an inconsequential topic that reveals very little about who you are.

Use your own voice, sense of humor, and a natural way of speaking.

Whatever subject you choose, make sure it’s something that’s genuinely important to you and not a subject you’ve chosen just to impress. You can write about a specific experience, hobby, or personality quirk that illustrates your strengths, but also feel free to write about your weaknesses.

Honesty about traits, situations, or a childhood background that you are working to improve may resonate with the reader more strongly than a glib victory speech.

Grab the Reader From the Start

You’ll be competing with so many other applicants for an admission officer’s attention.

Therefore, start your essay with an opening sentence or paragraph that immediately seizes the imagination. This might be a bold statement, a thoughtful quote, a question you pose, or a descriptive scene.

Starting your essay in a powerful way with a clear thesis statement can often help you along in the writing process. If your task is to tell a good story, a bold beginning can be a natural prelude to getting there, serving as a roadmap, engaging the reader from the start, and presenting the purpose of your writing.

Focus on Deeper Themes

Some essay writers think they will impress committees by loading an essay with facts, figures, and descriptions of activities, like wins in sports or descriptions of volunteer work. But that’s not the point.

College admissions officers are interested in learning more about who you are as a person and what makes you tick.

They want to know what has brought you to this stage in life. They want to read about realizations you may have come to through adversity as well as your successes, not just about how many games you won while on the soccer team or how many people you served at a soup kitchen.

Let the reader know how winning the soccer game helped you develop as a person, friend, family member, or leader. Make a connection with your soup kitchen volunteerism and how it may have inspired your educational journey and future aspirations. What did you discover about yourself?

Show Don’t Tell

As you expand on whatever theme you’ve decided to explore in your essay, remember to show, don’t tell.

The most engaging writing “shows” by setting scenes and providing anecdotes, rather than just providing a list of accomplishments and activities.

Reciting a list of activities is also boring. An admissions officer will want to know about the arc of your emotional journey too.

Try Doing Something Different

If you want your essay to stand out, think about approaching your subject from an entirely new perspective. While many students might choose to write about their wins, for instance, what if you wrote an essay about what you learned from all your losses?

If you are an especially talented writer, you might play with the element of surprise by crafting an essay that leaves the response to a question to the very last sentence.

You may want to stay away from well-worn themes entirely, like a sports-related obstacle or success, volunteer stories, immigration stories, moving, a summary of personal achievements or overcoming obstacles.

However, such themes are popular for a reason. They represent the totality of most people’s lives coming out of high school. Therefore, it may be less important to stay away from these topics than to take a fresh approach.

Explore Harvard Summer School’s College Programs for High School Students

Write With the Reader in Mind

Writing for the reader means building a clear and logical argument in which one thought flows naturally from another.

Use transitions between paragraphs.

Think about any information you may have left out that the reader may need to know. Are there ideas you have included that do not help illustrate your theme?

Be sure you can answer questions such as: Does what you have written make sense? Is the essay organized? Does the opening grab the reader? Is there a strong ending? Have you given enough background information? Is it wordy?

Write Several Drafts

Set your essay aside for a few days and come back to it after you’ve had some time to forget what you’ve written. Often, you’ll discover you have a whole new perspective that enhances your ability to make revisions.

Start writing months before your essay is due to give yourself enough time to write multiple drafts. A good time to start could be as early as the summer before your senior year when homework and extracurricular activities take up less time.

Read It Aloud

Writer’s tip : Reading your essay aloud can instantly uncover passages that sound clumsy, long-winded, or false.

Don’t Repeat

If you’ve mentioned an activity, story, or anecdote in some other part of your application, don’t repeat it again in your essay.

Your essay should tell college admissions officers something new. Whatever you write in your essay should be in philosophical alignment with the rest of your application.

Also, be sure you’ve answered whatever question or prompt may have been posed to you at the outset.

Ask Others to Read Your Essay

Be sure the people you ask to read your essay represent different demographic groups—a teacher, a parent, even a younger sister or brother.

Ask each reader what they took from the essay and listen closely to what they have to say. If anyone expresses confusion, revise until the confusion is cleared up.

Pay Attention to Form

Although there are often no strict word limits for college essays, most essays are shorter rather than longer. Common App, which students can use to submit to multiple colleges, suggests that essays stay at about 650 words.

“While we won’t as a rule stop reading after 650 words, we cannot promise that an overly wordy essay will hold our attention for as long as you’d hoped it would,” the Common App website states.

In reviewing other technical aspects of your essay, be sure that the font is readable, that the margins are properly spaced, that any dialogue is set off properly, and that there is enough spacing at the top. Your essay should look clean and inviting to readers.

End Your Essay With a “Kicker”

In journalism, a kicker is the last punchy line, paragraph, or section that brings everything together.

It provides a lasting impression that leaves the reader satisfied and impressed by the points you have artfully woven throughout your piece.

So, here’s our kicker: Be concise and coherent, engage in honest self-reflection, and include vivid details and anecdotes that deftly illustrate your point.

While writing a fantastic essay may not guarantee you get selected, it can tip the balance in your favor if admissions officers are considering a candidate with a similar GPA and background.

Write, revise, revise again, and good luck!

Experience life on a college campus. Spend your summer at Harvard.

Explore Harvard Summer School’s College Programs for High School Students.

About the Author

Pamela Reynolds is a Boston-area feature writer and editor whose work appears in numerous publications. She is the author of “Revamp: A Memoir of Travel and Obsessive Renovation.”

How Involved Should Parents and Guardians Be in High School Student College Applications and Admissions?

There are several ways parents can lend support to their children during the college application process. Here's how to get the ball rolling.

Harvard Division of Continuing Education

The Division of Continuing Education (DCE) at Harvard University is dedicated to bringing rigorous academics and innovative teaching capabilities to those seeking to improve their lives through education. We make Harvard education accessible to lifelong learners from high school to retirement.

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Format and Structure Your College Essay

←What Is a College Application Theme and How Do You Come Up With One?

How to Write a Personal Statement That Wows Colleges→

Does your Common App essay actually stand out?

Your essay can be the difference between an acceptance and rejection — it allows you to stand out from the rest of applicants with similar profiles. Get a free peer review or review other students’ essays right now to understand the strength of your essay.

Submit or Review an Essay — for free!

College essays are an entirely new type of writing for high school seniors. For that reason, many students are confused about proper formatting and essay structure. Should you double-space or single-space? Do you need a title? What kind of narrative style is best-suited for your topic?

In this post, we’ll be going over proper college essay format, traditional and unconventional essay structures (plus sample essays!), and which structure might work best for you. 

General College Essay Formatting Guidelines

How you format your essay will depend on whether you’re submitting in a text box, or attaching a document. We’ll go over the different best practices for both, but regardless of how you’re submitting, here are some general formatting tips:

• There’s no need for a title; it takes up unnecessary space and eats into your word count
• Stay within the word count as much as possible (+/- 10% of the upper limit). For further discussion on college essay length, see our post How Long Should Your College Essay Be?
• Indent or double space to separate paragraphs clearly

If you’re submitting in a text box:

• Avoid italics and bold, since formatting often doesn’t transfer over in text boxes
• Be careful with essays meant to be a certain shape (like a balloon); text boxes will likely not respect that formatting. Beyond that, this technique can also seem gimmicky, so proceed with caution
• Make sure that paragraphs are clearly separated, as text boxes can also undo indents and double spacing

If you’re attaching a document:

• Use a standard font and size like Times New Roman, 12 point
• Make your lines 1.5-spaced or double-spaced
• Use 1-inch margins
• Save as a PDF since it can’t be edited. This also prevents any formatting issues that come with Microsoft Word, since older versions are sometimes incompatible with the newer formatting
• Number each page with your last name in the header or footer (like “Smith 1”)
• Pay extra attention to any word limits, as you won’t be cut off automatically, unlike with most text boxes

Conventional College Essay Structures

Now that we’ve gone over the logistical aspects of your essay, let’s talk about how you should structure your writing. There are three traditional college essay structures. They are:

• In-the-moment narrative
• Narrative told over an extended period of time
• Series of anecdotes, or montage

Let’s go over what each one is exactly, and take a look at some real essays using these structures.

1. In-the-moment narrative

This is where you tell the story one moment at a time, sharing the events as they occur. In the moment narrative is a powerful essay format, as your reader experiences the events, your thoughts, and your emotions with you . This structure is ideal for a specific experience involving extensive internal dialogue, emotions, and reflections.

Here’s an example:

The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.

As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.

Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, it now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.

At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.

Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.

This essay is an excellent example of in-the-moment narration. The student openly shares their internal state with us — we feel their anger and panic upon the reversal of roles. We empathize with their emotions of “utter dread” and embarrassment when they’re unable to speak. 

For in-the-moment essays, overloading on descriptions is a common mistake students make. This writer provides just the right amount of background and details to help us understand the situation, however, and balances out the actual event with reflection on the significance of this experience. 

One main area of improvement is that the writer sometimes makes explicit statements that could be better illustrated through their thoughts, actions, and feelings. For instance, they say they “spoke articulately” after recovering from their initial inability to speak, and they also claim that adaptability has helped them in other situations. This is not as engaging as actual examples that convey the same meaning. Still, this essay overall is a strong example of in-the-moment narration, and gives us a relatable look into the writer’s life and personality.

2. Narrative told over an extended period of time

In this essay structure, you share a story that takes place across several different experiences. This narrative style is well-suited for any story arc with multiple parts. If you want to highlight your development over time, you might consider this structure. 

When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the other’s passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.

And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, “I do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.”

Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third “submission day,” – our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines – I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only others’ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkin’s pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.

By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.

I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity – me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind – and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.

The timeline of this essay spans from the writer’s childhood all the way to sophomore year, but we only see key moments along this journey. First, we get context for why the writer thought he had to choose one identity: his older brothers had very distinct interests. Then, we learn about the student’s 10th grade creative writing class, writing contest, and results of the contest. Finally, the essay covers the writers’ embarrassment of his identity as a poet, to gradual acceptance and pride in that identity. 

This essay is a great example of a narrative told over an extended period of time. It’s highly personal and reflective, as the piece shares the writer’s conflicting feelings, and takes care to get to the root of those feelings. Furthermore, the overarching story is that of a personal transformation and development, so it’s well-suited to this essay structure.

3. Series of anecdotes, or montage

This essay structure allows you to focus on the most important experiences of a single storyline, or it lets you feature multiple (not necessarily related) stories that highlight your personality. Montage is a structure where you piece together separate scenes to form a whole story. This technique is most commonly associated with film. Just envision your favorite movie—it likely is a montage of various scenes that may not even be chronological. 

Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. “Ready spar!” Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped — only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger. 

There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous “Yes, sir” and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the “winners” celebrated their victory with laps as usual. 

Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, “Yes, sir” and “Yes, ma’am”, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous. 

The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrée , while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. “ Chassé en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.” I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.   

There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: “You might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.” Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers. 

But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesn’t falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of “Dancing Queen” that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, it’s hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet. 

The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappés performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable. 

This essay takes a few different anecdotes and weaves them into a coherent narrative about the writer’s penchant for novel experiences. We’re plunged into her universe, in the middle of her Taekwondo spar, three years before the present day. She then transitions into a scene in a ballet studio, present day. By switching from past tense to present tense, the writer clearly demarcates this shift in time. 

The parallel use of the spoken phrase “Point” in the essay ties these two experiences together. The writer also employs a flashback to Master Pollard’s remark about “grabbing a tutu” and her habit of dorsiflexing her toes, which further cements the connection between these anecdotes. 

While some of the descriptions are a little wordy, the piece is well-executed overall, and is a stellar example of the montage structure. The two anecdotes are seamlessly intertwined, and they both clearly illustrate the student’s determination, dedication, reflectiveness, and adaptability. The writer also concludes the essay with a larger reflection on her life, many moves, and multiple languages. 

Unconventional College Essay Structures

Unconventional essay structures are any that don’t fit into the categories above. These tend to be higher risk, as it’s easier to turn off the admissions officer, but they’re also higher reward if executed correctly. 

There are endless possibilities for unconventional structures, but most fall under one of two categories:

1. Playing with essay format

Instead of choosing a traditional narrative format, you might take a more creative route to showcase your interests, writing your essay:

• As a movie script
• With a creative visual format (such as creating a visual pattern with the spaces between your sentences forming a picture)
• As a two-sided Lincoln-Douglas debate
• As a legal brief
• Using song lyrics

2. Linguistic techniques

You could also play with the actual language and sentence structure of your essay, writing it:

• In iambic pentameter
• Partially in your mother tongue
• In code or a programming language

These linguistic techniques are often hybrid, where you write some of the essay with the linguistic variation, then write more of an explanation in English.

Under no circumstances should you feel pressured to use an unconventional structure. Trying to force something unconventional will only hurt your chances. That being said, if a creative structure comes naturally to you, suits your personality, and works with the content of your essay — go for that structure!

←What is a College Application Theme and How Do You Come Up With One?

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Skip to Content

Other ways to search:

• Events Calendar

Want to write a college essay that sets you apart? Three tips to give you a head start

1. Keep it real. It’s normal to want to make a good impression on the school of your choice, but it’s also important to show who you really are. So just be yourself! Compelling stories might not be perfectly linear or have a happy ending, and that’s OK. It’s best to be authentic instead of telling schools what you think they want to hear.

2. Be reflective . Think about how you’ve changed during high school. How have you grown and improved? What makes you feel ready for college, and how do you hope to contribute to the campus community and society at large?

3. Look to the future. Consider your reasons for attending college. What do you hope to gain from your education? What about college excites you the most, and what would you like to do after you graduate? Answering these questions will not only give colleges insight into the kind of student you’ll be, but it will also give you the personal insight you’ll need to choose the school that’s right for you.

Have questions about college prep? We're here to help.

Written by CU Boulder Office of Admissions

• College-Prep

The University of Colorado does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, pregnancy, disability, creed, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, veteran status, political affiliation, or political philosophy. All qualified individuals are encouraged to apply. You may  view the list of ADA and Title IX coordinators  and  review the Regent policy .

As a student or prospective student at CU Boulder, you have a right to certain information pertaining to financial aid programs, the Clery Act, crime and safety, graduation rates, athletics and other general information such as the costs associated with attending CU Boulder. To view this information visit  colorado.edu/your-right-know .

Apply for Admission

Visit Campus

Support CU Boulder

• Safety & Health Services
• COVID-19 Information
• Campus Communications
• Emergency Alert System
• New Student & Family Programs

Getting Around

• Campus Events
• Parking & Transportation
• Visit Information

Information for

• Faculty & Staff
• Journalists

Initiatives

• Business & Industry Collaborations
• Diversity, Equity & Inclusion
• Free Speech
• Innovation & Entrepreneurship
• Public & Outreach Programs
• Sustainability
• Understanding Your Cost of Attendance

Get the Reddit app

Join the A2C Discord!

r/ApplyingToCollege is the premier forum for college admissions questions, advice, and discussions, from college essays and scholarships to college list help and application advice, career guidance, and more.

what NOT to put in any of your essays?

I’ve read so many articles/books etc about what aspects are super important to the essay and they’re all just vague and repetitive. A new approach: what topics/strategies should I AVOID while writing and why.

By continuing, you agree to our User Agreement and acknowledge that you understand the Privacy Policy .

Enter the 6-digit code from your authenticator app

You’ve set up two-factor authentication for this account.

Enter a 6-digit backup code

Create your username and password.

Reddit is anonymous, so your username is what you’ll go by here. Choose wisely—because once you get a name, you can’t change it.

Reset your password

Enter your email address or username and we’ll send you a link to reset your password

Check your inbox

An email with a link to reset your password was sent to the email address associated with your account

Choose a Reddit account to continue

Here Are The Colleges With The Most 2024 Olympic Medals—And What To Know About Them

PALO ALTO, CA - OCTOBER 2: A general view of Hoover Tower through the arches of the Main Quadrangle ... [+] on the campus of Stanford University before a college football game against the Oregon Ducks on October 2, 2021 played at Stanford Stadium in Palo Alto, California. (Photo by David Madison/Getty Images)

The 2024 Paris Olympic Games, which concluded this week, showcased not only the incredible talents of athletes from around the world, but also the American universities where many of them trained for their successes. From exceptional programs in swimming and gymnastics to track and field, certain colleges have consistently produced Olympians who go on to achieve extraordinary success—both during and after their collegiate careers.

Whether you hope to join the ranks of Olympic athletes or simply dream of donning your school colors and cheering your classmates on to gold, here’s what you need to know about the U.S. colleges and universities whose athletes took home the most medals in Paris this summer:

Stanford University

Number of Medals: 39

Notable Athletes: Brody Malone (Gymnastics), Asher Hong (Gymnastics), Katie Ledecky (Swimming)

What to know about the school: Stanford University is known as one of the most prestigious universities in the nation; it is consistently ranked as a top ten school by U.S. News and World Report , ranking third in 2024. But academics is not the only area in which Stanford excels. With a litany of Olympic champions, the university has made a name for itself with student-athletes. Prior to this Olympic Games, the school boasted 296 medals from 177 medalists, including Katie Ledecky , the most decorated American female athlete in history. This summer marked a record-breaking year for Stanford athletics, taking home the most medals of any university and breaking their all-time record for most medals won in a single Olympic Games.

University of California, Berkeley

Number of Medals: 23

Notable Athletes: Ryan Murphy (Swimming), Abbey Weitzel (Swimming), Jack Alexy (Swimming)

What to know about the school: UC Berkeley, also known as Cal, is another highly ranked institution for both academics and athletics. With an impressive array of over 300 degree programs across 15 colleges and schools, the university offers a rich and diverse environment where students are encouraged to explore, innovate, and challenge themselves—whether in the classroom, on the field, or in the pool. The school’s athletic program, particularly in swimming, has produced numerous Olympians and medalists. This year, the school sent 59 athletes to the Games and earned 23 medals; tying with its already existing record of 23 medals. This number brings the school to 246 all-time Olympic medals, with 126 golds.

University of Texas, Austin

Number of Medals: 16

Notable Athletes: Scottie Scheffler (Golf), Ryan Crouser (Shot Put), Julien Alfred (Track & Field), Kevin Durant (Basketball)

What to know about the school: Established in 1883 , UT Austin has grown into a leading public research university with a diverse student body of over 50,000 students from all 50 states and 130 countries. The university has a vibrant sports culture that has consistently produced dozens of top-tier athletes. While the university has a history of Olympic excellence, with 162 athletes having earned 156 medals prior to this summer, the Paris Olympics saw a historic delegation from the school, with 30 UT-affiliated athletes competing. UT saw particular success in Track & Field, with the talents of Julien Alfred and Ryan Crouser captivating viewers from around the world.

University of Southern California

Number of Medals: 15

Notable Athletes: Rai Benjamin (Track & Field, formerly UCLA), Anna Cockrell (Track & Field)

What to know about the school: The University of Southern California holds the record for the most Olympic medals won by any U.S. institution, having earned 326 medals prior to the 2024 Olympic Games. This summer, USC saw particular success in water polo, with USC-affiliated athletes winning gold, silver, and bronze for Spain, Australia, and the U.S.A., respectively. The Trojan spirit , characterized by a deep sense of community and loyalty, permeates every aspect of campus life at USC, encouraging students to excel not only in their academic pursuits but also in their personal, professional, and athletic development.

University of California, Los Angeles

Number of Medals: 14

Notable Athletes: Jordan Chiles (Gymnastics), Tom Daly (Diving)

What to know about the school: The #1 ranked public university in the nation according to U.S. News & World Report , the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) is a highly sought-after institution for its academics—but UCLA is also an athletic powerhouse, boasting 284 Olympic medals in total. In addition to the high-profile wins of Jordan Chiles (who announced her intention to return to UCLA to compete following the Olympics) and Tom Daly, UCLA also saw Olympic success in Track & Field and water polo.

University of Virginia

Notable Athletes: Kate Douglass (Swimming), Gretchen Walsh (Swimming)

What to know about the school: Consistently ranked in the Top 5 athletic standings in the NCAA and with 750 student athletes competing on 27 varsity teams, University of Virginia is a hub for excellence both on and off the field. UVA is yet another U.S. school to dominate in the pool during the 2024 Olympic Games, taking home three gold medals in the women’s 4x100 meter relay, one in the mixed 4x100 meter relay, and another in the 200 meter breaststroke. In total, 11 of the 14 medals earned by Cavalier athletes were in swimming events. Given that UVA-affiliated athletes earned 10% of the medals won for Team U.S.A. during the Games, this summer is likely to boost the university’s recruiting efforts—particularly drawing new students into the pool.

• Share full article

Advertisement

My Favorite Simone Biles Moment Wasn’t When She Won Gold

By Liriel Higa

Opinion Audience Director

GOAT. Most decorated. Winningest. It sounds hokey, but the most satisfying and joyful part of the Olympics for me is not which country is leading the medal count but when the best athletes in the world show their respect and admiration for one another, especially after an underperformance. On Monday, the last day of the artistic gymnastics competition, Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles, the Americans who took silver and bronze medals in the floor exercise final, showed such sportsmanship to Brazil’s Rebeca Andrade, who won gold.

During the medal ceremony, Biles and Chiles bowed down to the Brazilian as she climbed the podium to receive her medal. Andrade had already come in second to Biles in the all-around and vault event finals , but she took advantage of Biles’s two out-of-bounds landings to take first on floor.

Andrade was runner-up to Biles at the 2023 World Championships and second to Suni Lee at the Tokyo Olympics all-around. It may have been frustrating to keep coming in second, but she has been consistently supportive over the years, saying, for instance, that it was an “honor” to compete against Biles.

For her part, Biles has acknowledged her own fallibility and reminded us that just because she makes winning look easy does not mean that it is. After the all-around final, Biles said of Andrade: “She’s way too close. I’ve never had an athlete that close, so it definitely put me on my toes, and it brought out the best athlete in myself.”

Of course, it’s easy to be gracious when you’ve won the gold. On Monday, in what might be her final Olympic performance, Biles took the silver on floor after a disappointing fifth-place finish on the balance beam. But when Chiles suggested that they bow down to Andrade, Biles eagerly agreed, creating one of the most iconic images from these Olympics.

Chiles explained their thinking during an interview after the competition. “Why don’t we just give her her flowers?” she said. “Not only has she given Simone her flowers but a lot of us in the United States our flowers as well. So giving it back is what makes it so beautiful. So I felt like it was needed.”

3 strategies to help college students pick the right major the first time around and avoid some big hassles

Postdoctoral Research Fellow in Educational Psychology at the United States Coast Guard Academy, University of Connecticut

Disclosure statement

Rachael Cody does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of Connecticut provides funding as a member of The Conversation US.

View all partners

Not long after new college students have finished choosing the college that is right for them , they are asked to declare an academic major. For some students, this decision is easy, as their majors may have actually influenced their choice of college. Unfortunately, this decision is not always an easy one to make, and college students frequently change their minds.

For instance, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, 30% of undergraduates changed their major at least once.

While it may be common for undergraduates to change their major, it can cause them to lose time, money and opportunities . Students who experience the loss of these resources may be at risk for dropping out of college altogether .

While earning a Ph.D. in educational psychology , I conducted a study that highlighted students’ experiences upon changing their majors. I wanted to know why students made the switch and what that experience was like.

The results of my study showed that students became disoriented about their majors during their undergraduate education. Oftentimes, they were influenced by professors and advisers who were dismissive of their aspirations and abilities . These students experienced failure , which sometimes ruined their motivation. Failure may be commonplace in certain majors, but these students believed themselves to be outliers, viewing failure as a hit to their self-esteem .

So, what is a college student to do when faced with such an important decision? It is tempting to give into fear, indecisiveness or worry. But rest assured, using the following strategies to select the right major will also help sustain your motivation when the going gets tough.

1. Make a career plan

Creating a career plan is one of the ways that students can bolster their chances of success in their chosen majors. When creating a career plan, think about the career that you want to have in the future and consider the academic and professional paths that could lead to that career. Researchers have found that students who made career plans were more likely to persist in their academic majors.

When making a career plan, you should reflect on your beliefs about work, your interest in various academic subjects and your abilities. Exploring these factors may be one of the reasons why students who complete career plans are more likely to stick with their majors . Use your reflections to guide you as you search for careers that you would enjoy. Then, identify a specific career and outline the steps that you will have to take during your time at college that will help prepare you for that career.

2. Do your research

College students sometimes drop out of their selected majors because they have become disenchanted with the academic area they have chosen . Or they may find themselves more attracted to a different academic major altogether. For others, the desire to switch majors may occur after they get a taste of what it is like to work in that field, particularly during work-placement opportunities. One study found this to be true for some nursing majors , who shared that their first clinical placements showed them that they were not well suited to perform the duties of a nurse.

To avoid these sorts of outcomes, it is important to do your research about the job that you are interested in pursuing, as well as any related jobs. Is there one that would be better suited to your abilities and your preferences? Is there someone you can talk to who can tell you more about what an average day looks like at a particular job? Ask yourself which aspects of the job you could see yourself enjoying, as well as the parts of the job that you think you might dislike. While it is possible to switch out of your major once your interests become more apparent, you will save a good deal of time and energy by initially choosing a major that is aligned with your interests and abilities.

3. Brace yourself for challenge

It may come as a surprise when you are presented with incredibly challenging material during your first semester at college. Students who were at the top of their class may be particularly shocked when they receive their first low grade on an exam. You should not assume, however, that you have made the wrong choice of academic major simply because you performed poorly on one test. Negative feedback from college advisers and instructors can influence a student’s choice to switch out of their major.

The possibility of failure can be so discouraging to students that they can lose their ambition on the first day of class , before they have experienced any academic failure at all. Hold on to the confidence that guided you to select your major in the first place, and prepare yourself for the academic challenges that await you in whichever major you choose.

• US higher education
• Back to school
• College students
• College major
• Career path
• Occupations
• Higher ed attainment
• Colleges and universities

Casual Facilitator: GERRIC Student Programs - Arts, Design and Architecture

Senior Lecturer, Digital Advertising

Associate Professor, Psychology

Service Delivery Fleet Coordinator

Manager, Centre Policy and Translation

Try AI-powered search

• Why people have fallen out of love with dating apps

Tinder and Bumble are struggling as singles refuse to pay up

Your browser does not support the <audio> element.

W hen Tinder , a mobile dating app, launched on college campuses in America in 2012, it quickly became a hit. Although online dating had been around since Match.com, a website for lonely hearts, launched in 1995, it had long struggled to shed an image of desperation. But Tinder, by letting users sift through photos of countless potential dates with a simple swipe, made it easy and fun.

Soon Tinder and its rivals had transformed courtship. A report published last year by the Pew Research Centre found that 30% of American adults had used an online dating service, including more than half of those aged between 18 and 29. One in five couples of that age had met through such a service. Usage surged during the pandemic, as lonely locked-down singles sought out partners. The market capitalisation of Bumble, a rival to Tinder, surged to $13bn on its first day of trading in February 2021. Later that year the value of Match Group, which owns Tinder, Hinge and scores of other dating services, reached nearly $50bn. Today roughly 350m people around the world have a dating app on their phone, up from 250m in 2018, according to Business of Apps, a research firm. In June Tokyo’s government even said it would launch a matchmaking app of its own to pair up singles in the city.

Yet lately online dating has lost its spark. The apps were downloaded 237m times globally last year, down from 287m in 2020. According to Sensor Tower, another research firm, the number of people who use them at least once a month has dwindled from 154m in 2021 to 137m in the second quarter of this year (see chart 1). On August 7th Bumble reported revenue growth of just 3%, year on year, in the quarter from April to June, and lowered its forecast for the full year to 1-2%. Its shares plunged by a third in after-hours trading. On July 30th Match Group reported that its revenue for the same quarter grew by only 4%. Both companies’ market values have cratered since Bumble’s listing (see chart 2). That reflects users’ increasing disillusionment with dating apps, decreasing willingness to pay for them—and growing interest in offline alternatives.

Start with the disillusionment. Apps that once felt fun have, for many, become wellsprings of frustration. The network effects that initially propelled services such as Tinder, in which a widening choice of partners lured in ever more users, have now made them exasperating. Users grumble about spending hours sorting through tens of thousands of profiles. Half of women surveyed by Pew said they felt overwhelmed by the number of messages they received. It doesn’t help that 84% of Tinder users are men. So are 61% of those on Bumble, which is targeted at women. Many users also fret about scams.

Younger adults are growing especially weary of the apps. One survey commissioned last year by Axios, a news site, found that only a fifth of American college students were using them at least once a month. “It’s not fun, it’s so superficial and it’s also just like really exhausting,” laments one youthful influencer on TikTok, a short-video app. “I’m kind of over it,” sums up Wunmi Williams, a 27-year-old who, after years of swiping and matching, has been unable to find a partner through a dating app. In a sign of growing despair, the Marriage Pact, an annual event in which participants are matched with a “backup” spouse should their future romantic endeavours fail, has spread to 88 college campuses across America.

All this helps explain why dating-app developers are struggling to convince users to part with cash—the second reason for their lacklustre performance. In an effort to boost margins, dating apps have been peddling paid upgrades to supplement their lowly ad revenues. Hinge has a separate feed with popular profiles it thinks you might like, but demands that you hand over $3.99 for a “rose” before you can chat with them. Tinder’s paid plans range from $17.99 a month (which gives you unlimited swipes and lets you change your location) to a hefty $499 a month (which lets you see the most popular profiles on the app and message users you haven’t matched with).

Got the ick

Online dating may no longer look desperate, but users seem to worry that paying for it might. The share of people who are willing to spend money on dating apps has been falling. Tinder’s paid users have declined for seven consecutive quarters. Men are more likely to cough up, which may be worsening the feeling common among women of being bombarded by messages on the apps.

Perhaps the biggest threat to the future of dating apps, though, is the growing share of singles looking offline for love. Last year some began wearing an aqua-coloured ring, made by a startup called Pear, to show their openness to being wooed. Thursday, a company that organises in-person events for singles, has expanded its service to roughly 30 cities, from Stockholm to Sydney. Its app works only on Thursday, when the events are held.

The romance is not confined to bars. Running clubs have become a place for athletic types to meet. Cooking classes, too, have become a place to look for partners, says Julia Hartz, the boss of Eventbrite, a ticketing platform. Attendance at its singles events rose 42% between 2022 and 2023. “You are bonding with someone, you’re having an experience, even if they’re not the love of your life,” says Casey Lewis, a blogger on youth culture, of such events.

Dating apps are looking for ways to lure users back. Some are hoping to spice things up with artificial intelligence ( AI ). Whitney Wolfe Herd, Bumble’s founder, recently mused that the future of courtship could involve one person’s AI bot going on “dates” with another’s. One new app, Volar, has begun offering just that.

In time, society might be willing to leave matchmaking to machines—but it is hard to imagine the strategy paying off just yet. A more fruitful approach for dating apps may instead be to focus on narrower markets. Grindr, an app for gay men, continues to grow quickly. So does Feeld, which targets the polyamorous. In the past few years Match Group has launched apps targeted at gay men (Archer), single parents (Stir), ethnic minorities ( BLK , Chispa) and snobs (The League). Revenue from this portfolio of brands grew by 17%, year on year, in the second quarter of 2024.

In addition to offering a smaller pool of partners, such apps also serve as a community for like-minded people. Grindr, for example, acts as a travel guide for tourists looking for gay bars and a hub for information on HIV . The company says its average user sends 50 messages a day, about the same as for WhatsApp, a messaging service. Its success in that regard might explain why Lidiane Jones, the chief executive of Bumble, has said she wants her firm to be known as a “connections company, rather than a dating company”. Pulling off such a rebrand may prove tricky. But love has never been an easy business. ■

To stay on top of the biggest stories in business and technology, sign up to the Bottom Line , our weekly subscriber-only newsletter.

This article appeared in the Business section of the print edition under the headline “Swiped out”

Business August 10th 2024

• China’s manufacturers are going broke
• China is overhauling its company law
• What can Olympians teach executives?
• A court says Google is a monopolist. Now what?
• A history-lover’s guide to the market panic over AI

From the August 10th 2024 edition

Discover stories from this section and more in the list of contents

More from Business

The global tourism boom is shifting to Asia

Travel in the region is roaring after a difficult few years

From Taylor Swift to Star Trek, niche cruises are on the rise

Themed offerings are luring young and old

Startups are finding novel ways to recycle carbon

Demand is set to rocket as costs continue to fall

How to take proper breaks from work

The matinée test

Hindenburg widens its attack on Adani

It has taken aim at the boss of India’s securities regulator

Can Chipotle’s boss turn Starbucks around?

Brian Niccol faces three big challenges

Tim Walz's military record: What to know about potential VP's National Guard service

Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris selected Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate on Tuesday, choosing a progressive yet plain-spoken VP candidate from America’s heartland to help her win over rural, white voters.

“I’m pleased to share that I’ve made my decision: Minnesota Governor Tim Walz will join our campaign as my running mate,” Harris said via text to supporters. “Tim is a battle-tested leader who has an incredible track record of getting things done for Minnesota families. I know that he will bring that same principled leadership to our campaign, and to the office of the vice president.”

We look at Walz, a 60-year-old U.S. Army National Guard veteran, and his military career over the years.

More: Tim Walz is Kamala Harris' VP pick: Minnesota governor named running mate: Live updates

How long was Walz in the military?

Walz served in the military for 24 years, enlisting in the Nebraska National Guard at 17 in 1981 and then transferring to the Minnesota National Guard in 1996. He retired in 2005 to begin his successful run for the U.S. House, representing Minnesota as command sergeant major, among the highest ranks for enlisted soldiers. His battalion went on to deploy to Iraq shortly after Walz's retirement.

Walz specialized in heavy artillery and had proficiency ribbons in sharpshooting and hand grenades.

But during the 21 years that Walz spent working with large artillery pieces, he suffered hearing loss and tinnitus in both ears, Minnesota Public Radio reported. He was allowed to continue his service after undergoing surgery, which partially resolved his hearing loss.

Where did Walz serve, and what did he do in the National Guard?

During his service, Walz responded to natural disasters, including floods and tornadoes in Minnesota and Nebraska, and was deployed overseas for months at a time, according to MPR.

In 2003, he was sent to Italy, where he served with the European Security Force to support the war in Afghanistan. He was also stationed in Norway for joint training with other NATO militaries.

Walz told MPR that he reenlisted in the National Guard after the September 11 attacks but never saw active combat in his years in the military.

Stars and Stripes reported in 2020 that Walz credited his Army experience with helping him steer Minnesota through the COVID-19 pandemic as governor.

As governor of Minnesota, Walz is commander in chief of the 13,000-soldier Minnesota National Guard. “I’m certainly proud of my military service, but it’s one piece of me,” he told Minnesota Public Radio in 2018. “It doesn’t define me.”

Reuters and USA TODAY reporter Tom Vanden Brook contributed to this story.