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What is conflict?

Causes of conflict in a relationship, how do you respond to conflict, conflict resolution, stress, and emotions, core skill 1: quick stress relief, core skill 2: emotional awareness, nonverbal communication and conflict resolution, more tips for managing and resolving conflict, conflict resolution skills.

Whatever the cause of disagreements and disputes at home or work, these skills can help you resolve conflict in a constructive way and keep your relationships strong and growing.

Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. The key is not to fear or try to avoid conflict but to learn how to resolve it in a healthy way.

When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people. Whether you’re experiencing conflict at home, work, or school, learning these skills can help you resolve differences in a healthy way and build stronger, more rewarding relationships.

Conflict 101

• A conflict is more than just a disagreement. It is a situation in which one or both parties perceive a threat (whether or not the threat is real).
• Conflicts continue to fester when ignored. Because conflicts involve perceived threats to our well-being and survival, they stay with us until we face and resolve them.
• We respond to conflicts based on our perceptions of the situation, not necessarily to an objective review of the facts. Our perceptions are influenced by our life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs.
• Conflicts trigger strong emotions. If you aren’t comfortable with your emotions or able to manage them in times of stress, you won’t be able to resolve conflict successfully.
• Conflicts are an opportunity for growth. When you’re able to resolve conflict in a relationship, it builds trust. You can feel secure knowing your relationship can survive challenges and disagreements.

Conflict arises from differences, both large and small. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences appear trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is often at the core of the problem. These needs can range from the need to feel safe and secure or respected and valued, to the need for greater closeness and intimacy.

Think about the opposing needs of a toddler and a parent. The child’s need is to explore, so venturing to the street or the cliff edge meets that need. But the parent’s need is to protect the child’s safety, a need that can only be met by limiting the toddler’s exploration. Since these needs are at odds, conflict arises.

The needs of each party play an important role in the long-term success of a relationship. Each deserves respect and consideration. In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups. In the workplace, differing needs can result in broken deals, decreased profits, and lost jobs.

[Read: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship]

When you can recognize conflicting needs and are willing to examine them with compassion and understanding, it can lead to creative problem solving, team building, and stronger relationships.

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Do you fear conflict or avoid it at all costs? If your perception of conflict comes from painful memories from early childhood or previous unhealthy relationships, you may expect all disagreements to end badly. You may view conflict as demoralizing, humiliating, or something to fear. If your early life experiences left you feeling powerless or out of control, conflict may even be traumatizing for you.

If you’re afraid of conflict, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you enter a conflict situation already feeling threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you’re more likely to either shut down or blow up in anger.

Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict

Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases your understanding of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens your relationships.

If you are out of touch with your feelings or so stressed that you can only pay attention to a limited number of emotions, you won’t be able to understand your own needs. This will make it hard to communicate with others and establish what’s really troubling you. For example, couples often argue about petty differences—the way she hangs the towels, the way he slurps his soup—rather than what is  really bothering them.

The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to:

• Manage stress quickly while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication.
• Control your emotions and behavior. When you’re in control of your emotions, you can communicate your needs without threatening, intimidating, or punishing others.
• Pay attention to the  feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others.
• Be aware of and respect differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can almost always resolve a problem faster.

To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two core skills:

• Quick stress relief: the ability to quickly relieve stress in the moment.
• Emotional awareness: the ability to remain comfortable enough with your emotions to react in constructive ways, even in the midst of a perceived attack.

Being able to manage and relieve stress in the moment is the key to staying balanced, focused, and in control, no matter what challenges you face. If you don’t know how to stay centered and in control of yourself, you will become overwhelmed in conflict situations and unable to respond in healthy ways.

Psychologist Connie Lillas uses a driving analogy to describe the three most common ways people respond when they’re overwhelmed by stress:

Foot on the gas. An angry or agitated stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly emotional, and unable to sit still.

Foot on the brake. A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out, and show very little energy or emotion.

Foot on both gas and brake. A tense and frozen stress response. You “freeze” under pressure and can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.

How stress affects conflict resolution

Stress interferes with the ability to resolve conflict by limiting your ability to:

• Accurately read another person’s body language .
• Hear what someone is really saying.
• Be aware of your own feelings.
• Be in touch with your own, deep-rooted needs.
• Communicate your needs clearly.

Is stress a problem for you?

You may be so used to feeling stressed that you’re not even aware you  are stressed. Stress may pose a problem in your life if you identify with the following:

• You often feel tense or tight somewhere in your body.
• You’re not aware of movement in your chest or stomach when you breathe.
• Conflict absorbs your time and attention.

Learn how to manage stress in the moment

One of the most reliable ways to rapidly reduce stress is by engaging one or more of your senses—sight, sound, taste, smell, touch—or through movement. You could squeeze a stress ball, smell a relaxing scent, taste a soothing cup of tea, or look at a treasured photograph. We all tend to respond differently to sensory input, often depending on how we respond to stress, so take some time to find things that are soothing to you. Read: Quick Stress Relief .

Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others. If you don’t know how or why you feel a certain way, you won’t be able to communicate effectively or resolve disagreements.

[Read: Improving Emotional Intelligence]

Although knowing your own feelings may sound simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. Your ability to handle conflict, however, depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on finding solutions that are strictly rational, your ability to face and resolve differences will be limited.

Why emotional awareness is a key factor in resolving conflict

Emotional awareness—the consciousness of your  moment-to-moment emotional experience—and the ability to manage all of your feelings appropriately, is the basis of a communication process that can resolve conflict.

Emotional awareness helps you to:

• Understand what is really troubling other people
• Understand yourself, including what is really troubling you
• Stay motivated until the conflict is resolved
• Communicate clearly and effectively
• Interest and influence others

Assessing your level of emotional awareness

The following quiz helps you assess your level of emotional awareness. Answer the following questions with:  almost never, occasionally, often, very often, or  almost always . There are no right or wrong responses, only the opportunity to become better acquainted with your emotional responses.

What kind of relationship do you have with your emotions?

• Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment?
• Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach or chest?
• Do you experience distinct feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy, which are evident in different facial expressions?
• Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your own attention and that of others?
• Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision-making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be “turned” down or even off. In either case, you may need help developing your emotional awareness. You can do this by using Helpguide’s free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit.

When people are in the middle of a conflict, the words they use rarely convey the issues at the heart of the problem. But by paying close attention to the other person’s nonverbal signals or “body language,” such as facial expressions, posture, gestures, and tone of voice, you can better understand what the person is really saying. This will allow you to respond in a way that builds trust, and gets to the root of the problem.

[Read: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language]

Your ability to accurately read another person depends on your own emotional awareness. The more aware you are of your own emotions, the easier it will be for you to pick up on the wordless clues that reveal what others are feeling. Think about what you are transmitting to others during conflict, and if what you say matches your body language. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are anything but “fine.” A calm tone of voice, a reassuring touch, or an interested facial expression can go a long way toward relaxing a tense exchange.

You can ensure that the process of managing and resolving conflict is as positive as possible by sticking to the following guidelines:

Listen for what is felt as well as said. When you really listen, you connect more deeply to your own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening also strengthens, informs, and makes it easier for others to hear you when it’s your turn to speak.

Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or “being right.” Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and their viewpoint.

Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to grudges based on past conflicts, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.

Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worth your time and energy. Maybe you don’t want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes, but if there are dozens of empty spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life.

Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

Using humor in conflict resolution

You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreements by communicating in a humorous way . Humor can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without offending someone. However, it’s important that you laugh with the other person, not at them. When humor and play are used to reduce tension and anger, reframe problems, and put the situation into perspective, the conflict can actually become an opportunity for greater connection and intimacy.

More Information

• CR Kit - Covers causes of conflict, different conflict styles, and fair fighting guidelines to help you positively resolve disagreements. (Conflict Resolution Network)
• 12 Skills Summary - A 12-step conflict resolution training kit. (Conflict Resolution Network)
• Effective Communication - The art of listening in conflict resolution. (University of Maryland)
• 10.3 Causes and Outcomes of Conflict – Organizational Behavior . (n.d.). Retrieved May 25, 2022, from Link
• Başoğul, C., & Özgür, G. (2016). Role of Emotional Intelligence in Conflict Management Strategies of Nurses. Asian Nursing Research , 10(3), 228–233. Link
• Corcoran, Kathleen O’Connell, and Brent Mallinckrodt. “Adult Attachment, Self-Efficacy, Perspective Taking, and Conflict Resolution.” Journal of Counseling & Development 78, no. 4 (2000): 473–83. Link
• Yarnell, Lisa M., and Kristin D. Neff. “Self-Compassion, Interpersonal Conflict Resolutions, and Well-Being.” Self and Identity 12, no. 2 (March 1, 2013): 146–59. Link
• Tucker, Corinna Jenkins, Susan M. Mchale, and Ann C. Crouter. “Conflict Resolution: Links with Adolescents’ Family Relationships and Individual Well-Being.” Journal of Family Issues 24, no. 6 (September 1, 2003): 715–36. Link

More in Communication

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How to feel and respond to the emotions of others

Tips to avoid conflict and improve work and personal relationships

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The #1 Way to Resolve Conflict at Home? Prevent It

Conflict during quarantine is inevitable. how can we deal with it.

Posted April 8, 2020

As we experience collective loss and uncertainty, it’s best not to make things worse by adding family and work conflict on top of it. But we’re only human, and conflict is inevitable. How can we deal with it, especially now?

Toward the end of his life, one of my mentors, Dr. Morton Deutsch , who is widely considered the father of conflict resolution, often told me, “Prevention is the best medicine.”

Should it surprise us that a man who dedicated his life to teaching people how to resolve conflict was fond of saying that it is easier to prevent conflict than to resolve it?

I don’t think so. From his experience studying the toughest conflicts around the globe, Mort knew how hard it is to resolve conflict. He knew that, by comparison, preventing it is much easier.

While Mort may have been referring to international and civil wars, if he were still with us today, I suspect he would tell us the same applies even—or perhaps especially—to our lives under quarantine.

Whether you’re already in the heat of conflict with your co-founder, colleagues or family, or you’d like to put things in place now to prevent future conflicts, the following five practices are designed to help.

I’ve listed the practices beginning with the mundane and ending with the more spiritual . The whole spectrum is important.

Some of these practices are not necessarily easy to do, but if you find the strength to do them, I promise they will prevent a significant amount of conflict during what is already a tough time.

1. Create Physical Boundaries

As routines begin to settle in, take some time to create a dedicated workspace for each member of your family. While people may want to move around to provide variety throughout the day, it can be helpful for each person to know which space is primarily for them.

People who need quiet space to write or make calls may get first priority on spaces where doors can be closed. But even spaces without doors can be set apart creatively, either by moving one person’s work materials into that space or using other signals to let others know to whom that space belongs. You can create “Do not disturb” signs to let people know when you need quiet time, using pictures so even small children can understand.

2. Negotiate With Yourself First

Before you negotiate with others about time, goals, projects and tasks, as my colleague Erica Ariel Fox suggests in her book, Winning from Within , negotiate with yourself first. Ask yourself which relationships, goals, and projects (both home- and work-related) are your highest priorities, given everything going on. Then ask yourself how much time per day you need and want to commit to those relationships, and to the projects and tasks that will help move you toward your goals.

Once you’re clear with yourself, share your priorities and needs with your family, and then with your manager, and colleagues. Ask what their needs are, make any requests for their help, and suggest ways you can accommodate one another. Ask if they have suggestions or concerns about the goals, projects and tasks you’ve prioritized, and about the time you’ve allotted to complete them. Then integrate their ideas into your plan as best you can.

The key is to ensure that you have direct conversations with others so they know what they can (and can’t) count on you for, and you know what to expect from them. Also, you will very likely need to be flexible, given the world we’re living in today. Remember that you can renegotiate your agreements on a moment-to-moment, daily or weekly basis as needed.

3. Observe the Hierarchy of Communication

In a recent Facebook Live, Rabbi Mira Rivera recently suggested a modern hierarchy of communication: a text, Slack chat or email is better than no communication at all; a phone call is better than a text or email; and a video chat is better than a phone call.

To prevent conflict, I suggest using each tool in a way that is appropriate for the conversation you intend to have. Just checking in on someone? A text is fine. Have a quick bit of information to relay? Email or Slack will work. Need to discuss a more complex topic? Make a phone call. These days, as Laura Vanderkam noted in a recent episode of her podcast, Before Breakfast , it may be easier to pick up the phone and call without scheduling in advance. Need to discuss a thorny topic? Ask for a video call. Let the person know what you’d like to talk about. Be as clear as you can about the topic while keeping your request brief.

4. Identify Your Emotions

Grief expert David Kessler has suggested that, during this epidemic, if you’re not sure what you’re feeling, it may be grief . It may also be sadness, anger , irritation, loneliness , frustration, or even appreciation or gratitude for the small things in life. Sometimes just identifying what we are feeling can help an emotion settle and allow another emotion to take its place. Other times, knowing what we’re feeling allows us to constructively express it with someone else. It gives us the capacity to say, “I feel sad. Do you have a few minutes to talk?” or “I feel angry right now. I need your help with the kids so I can go somewhere else and calm down.”

5. Take Care of Your Body, Mind & Spirit

When you’re depleted and dealing with your own grief, anger or fear , you are much more likely to unintentionally act in ways that contribute to conflict with other people. That is why it is critical to take care of yourself. This is not selfish; it is what will allow you to be there for others in constructive ways.

Do whatever you need to stay grounded at this time. Whether you take walks in the park, play music, do yoga, or join game night or talk with friends or family online, engage in healthy practices to take care of your body, mind and spirit. You may need to experiment to find the practices that work best for you. A client of mine recently re-downloaded the Calm app. Listening to it reminded her that she likes breathing exercises and enabled her first solid night of sleep in weeks.

I recorded this short video of my hike in the woods near my house, and a snippet of our family participating in the daily neighborhood “primal scream” as a reminder that taking care of ourselves may come in different, even unexpected, forms. Find the ones that work best for you and stick to them. When you do, you will be much more likely to engage with others in helpful ways that prevent conflict.

If you try any of the practices above, let me know how it goes in the comments below. I’d love to hear about your experiences. In the meantime, be well and stay safe.

Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler, Ph.D. , is an organizational psychologist specializing in conflict freedom; she is author of Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life .

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Smart ways to resolve conflicts at home.

We all get angry, even furious, from time to time, especially about conflicts at home. Conflict and anger are natural parts of family life. But how you handle them makes all the difference in having good relationships with loved ones.

Issues like money and chores may be at the root of family conflicts. But the way you resolve these issues has a big impact on how your children will react to adversity in the future. Resolve a conflict in a calm and respectful fashion, and your children will likely follow your example. But if you tend to yell, blame, whine, or ridicule your partner or children, you may see the same behavior in your kids.

Causes of conflict

Families have multiple sources of conflict in their lives. Sometimes, parents disagree about how to raise their children, how to divide housework, or how money should be spent. Other times, heated arguments break out between children that can involve the whole family.

It’s human nature to think that you are right in any argument and to want to get your way. But without looking for a solution that makes everyone feel included, you may find that small arguments grow into much bigger ones. Unless you learn how to fight fair and resolve conflicts peacefully, disagreements can tear apart your family.

Tips for dealing with conflict

Fortunately, you can solve arguments in a number of ways without becoming angry and destructive. Remember that, despite your differences, you love and respect each other. The viewpoints of everyone in the family are worth hearing and need to be respected.

The first step is for each family member to do their best to listen carefully to the others. Calmly try to clarify the differences in the argument, taking the time to say, “I’m not sure I understand. Do you mean—?”

Define the conflict and frame it so that it’s you and your partner or family vs. the problem, not you against your partner or children.

Once you understand the problem, you can start to work on a compromise that benefits everyone involved. People with jobs in conflict resolution call this a “win/win” solution, an agreement in which everyone is a winner.

If a problem bubbles up, make sure to get it resolved right away rather than letting it fester. Many couples, especially those with young children, may use their kids as an excuse for not resolving their problems with each other. They reason that the kids take up too much time and that they don’t need to focus on their relationship. This is untrue and can lead to problems down the road. Don’t let an unresolved conflict be a roadblock in your marriage or relationship.

Above all, avoid criticizing, being defensive, stonewalling, and acting with contempt. These are dangerous behaviors. They are considered serious threats to marriage.

If a fight has grown too intense, it might be necessary to take a time-out.  Don’t forget about the argument entirely. Try to revisit this issue once everyone is calmer, when you’re in a better frame of mind to reach an agreement that meets all needs.

Conflicts with children

If you handle marital conflicts constructively, you give your kids a model for a healthy way to handle their own conflicts.

Kids may not yet be able to control their emotions, so physical outbursts are common. As a parent, you may need to intervene and tell your children calmly what you see. “It looks like you were angry that Billy took your toy, so you tried to hit him. What could you do to make him feel better?” This will give kids a way to talk about their feelings. Explain that it’s OK to be angry, but that they can’t hit. Experts advise never hitting, shaking, or spanking your children. Or they’ll think that is an acceptable way to solve conflicts.

It’s also important to praise children when they are being helpful and cooperative. As they get older, you can create “natural consequences” for negative actions. This includes a loss of privileges, so they can learn appropriate ways to resolve their conflicts with their friends and siblings.

Medical Reviewers:

• Heather M Trevino BSN RNC
• Marianne Fraser MSN RN
• Rita Sather RN

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13 Conflict Resolution and Problem Solving

Chapter 13 Check-in:

• Identify Conflict Causes and Effects
• Explore Conflict Approaches Solutions
• Basic Problem Solving Strategy PDCA

Like all communication, good conflict management and resolution requires your time: listen, reflect, and consider all elements of a situation and the people involved.  It is not a simple process and there are some steps to help you navigate the process.  In the end, it is about the relationship.

Frequently considered a negative, conflict can actually be an opportunity for growth in relationship or work.  Your attitude towards the situation and person plays a role in any outcome.  Adam Grant, Professor of Psychology at The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and Saul P. Steinberg Professor of Management, notes that “The absence of conflict is not harmony, it’s apathy.  If you are in a group where people never disagree, the only way that could ever really happen is if the people don’t care enough to speak their minds.” (Grant, February 2021).

However, it is easy to feel at a loss in an immediate conflict situation.  Here are some brief points to consider when faced with more than just a disagreement.

Conflict is emotional: it is much greater than a difference of opinions.  It is usually an expression of not being heard, seen, valued or respected.   It is based on a deeply person need and emotional response, based on perceptions which have identified a threat in any form.  If conflict is ignored, it can fester and result in such entrenched opinions and sides that resolution appears impossible (Segal et al, 2020).

The first step is to determine what the actual problem is as perceived by all parties.  The Conflict Tree analogy is especially useful if you respond well to visuals (O’Connor, 2020).  It is an excellent activity for a group or individual to clarify the effects (branches), core problems (trunk), and even causes of the issue (roots).

Once the actual problem is identified, you can move on to tackling a resolution together.

Approaches to Conflict

There are generally five styles for approaching conflict (Benoliel, 2017) and understanding what they are and what style you lean towards, identifies how you will move through the process.  These categories are determined by whether the focus is on the relationship or the end goal of a task/project.  While these may be more specific to workplace conflicts, they certainly identify personal conflict responses as well.

Collaboration is marked by a balanced focus on the relationship with others and meeting long-term objectives.  A Competition style is marked by individuals who are assertive and probably uncooperative who demonstrate that their priority is the outcome of the project more than the relationships.  Although few people enjoy conflict, the Avoidance style focuses on the the immediate unpleasantness and therefore avoids the issues.  This traditionally marks individuals who are unassertive and uncooperative largely because they assume it is safer to ignore than face an issue.  Sometimes there are individuals who will do anything to please others: this Accommodation approach results in self-sacrifice and is usually the route taken by those who care more about the relationship than the outcome.  Unfortunately, they are frequently taken advantage of in their efforts to please others.  Lastly, there are those who prefer the Compromise strategy. This may seem expedient in the attempt to resolve the problem by aiming for mutually acceptable terms and concessions, it does frequently leaves no one side satisfied even though it allows most to maintain an assertive and cooperative stance.

Strategies for Solutions

Sometimes those involved in conflict turn to an third person for assistance to resolve a conflict.  A mediator can listen to the perspectives of those in the dispute and focuses on helping each side hear the concerns and priorities of the other.  Working with the individuals in conflict, a mediator aims to help them create a solution acceptable to both sides.  Sometimes the third party is an Arbitrator whose role is to hear each side and provide a decision to resolve the dispute.  In some cases the conflict results in the even more formal process of a trial.

There are four key skills you need to approach conflict resolution with or without a third party involved (Segal et al, 2020; Fighting Fair, n.d.).

Conflict can be a very stressful experience and your Stress Management is an essential first step.  When we are stressed, we can’t think clearly, we can’t understand someone else’s thoughts or feelings, and it makes communication very difficult.  Use whatever method works best for you to manage your stress.

Once your stress is managed, it is easier to exert Control over your Emotions.  Recognize the emotions you are experiencing to assist in your processing the experience without having a purely emotional response.

With your stress and emotions recognized and managed, it makes it easier to recognize and pay attention to the feelings you and the other people express  and you can Identify Non-Verbal Communication.   Much is said without words and body language is a good indication of how the other person feels towards the situation.

Respect each other is standard for every communication situation and essential to remember if you are in a position of conflict.  Personal attacks, or drawing on personal knowledge, has no productive part in conflict resolution.

Many resources may explain the benefits of humour, but caution should be used.  Sometimes an emotional situation is not the best time for humour as you can unintentionally be seen to diminish the importance another person places on the experience.

Work together to identify the problem by taking the time to see it from multiple perspectives.  Be clear about the desired results and end goal.  Think about the relationships and long term impacts that any course of action may have on all parties.  It takes commitment to resolve a conflict.

Problem Solving

We covered Reflection and Feedback in Chapter 12 and these are essential steps for effective conflict resolution and problem solving. Even the Trial and Error process of problem solving relies on evaluating the success of an action before moving on to another attempt.

Many different approaches to problem solving exist though the basic core approach can be seen across geographic and language borders.  The PDCA approach – Plan, Do, Check, Act – provides the basic four steps process that can be expanded to suit any profession or experience (Plan, Do, Check, Act, 2021).

Problem solving starts with a clear identification of problem.  Then you need to clarify the desired end result.  The development of a plan can be as short or as long as necessary.  Once you have a plan, you have to implement it: Do.  Check is your opportunity to evaluate the success of your plan and make any amendments necessary.  Finally, Act: put your strategy into practice.  An important point to remember is that the reflection and evaluation should be an ongoing part of the solution you implement.

Chapter 13 Check-out:

• Explore Conflict Approaches and Solutions

Remember your last conflict with another person.  How was it resolved?  How would you like it to have been resolved?  What could you have done to implement that change in result?

How do you usually approach problem solving?  How successful has it been for you? 

What, if anything, would you like to change about how you’ve problem solved in the past?

Resources and References

Benoliel, B. (2017). Five styles of conflict resolution.  Walden University.  [Online]  https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style

Fighting Fair to Resolve Conflict. (n.d.).  Counselling and Mental Health Centre. University of Texas at Austin. [Online] https://cmhc.utexas.edu/fightingfair.html

Goleman, D. (April 2012). Daniel Goleman Introduces Emotional Intelligence .  Big Think. [Online] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU

Grant, A., (February 2021). The Easiest Person to Fool .  The Hidden Brain. NPR Podcast. [Online] https://hidden-brain.simplecast.com/episodes/the-easiest-person-to-fool-f1hbMrGr

Grant, A., (April 2021). The Science of Productive Conflict . TED Podcast. [Online] https://www.ted.com/podcasts/worklife/the-science-of-productive-conflict-transcript

O’Connor, T., (October 2020). 3 Simple Conflict Analysis Tools That Anyone Can Use. [Online] https://medium.com/p/c30689757a0d

Plan Do Check Act: A Simple Problem Solving Methodology. (2021).  Educational-Business-Articles.com [Online] https://www.educational-business-articles.com/plan-do-check-act/

Segal, J., Robinson, L., and Smith, M. (2020). Conflict Resolution Skills. Helpguide.org. [Online] https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/conflict-resolution-skills.htm

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Copyright © by Wendy Ward is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Guide to conflict resolution skills — plus real world examples

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What is conflict resolution?

5 conflict management strategies

How to resolve conflict: 11 techniques

Conflict resolution examples

Get started today

Nobody likes conflict. We shun it. We run away from it. We groan every time we have to engage in it.

But conflicts and disputes are part of the normal human experience, especially at work. 

By developing healthy responses to conflict, we develop skills that can serve us for a lifetime.

Let’s discuss what conflict resolution is and some strategies that you can use to achieve it. 

Conflict resolution is a communication skill. 

It offers a tried-and-tested way of resolving disputes among parties. The end result should be both peaceful and fruitful. It focuses on mutual respect while aiming at solutions that are a win-win for all parties involved.

The goal of conflict resolution is to bring any conflict situation to a peaceful end. It also aims to avoid any bad feelings or retribution in the future by fully resolving the matter at hand.

In business, there are many different management styles . Similarly, there are several conflict resolution strategies. 

None are necessarily better or worse than another, and they each have their own pros and cons. 

However, some management styles are better for particular situations than others.

5 conflict management strategies 

Whether you know it or not, we all have conflict management strategies that we fall back on. 

Conflict resolution experts Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann codified these strategies into five key behaviors: 

• Avoiding 
• Competing 
• Compromising 
• Accommodating 
• Collaborating

Since we often use a variety of strategies to resolve conflict , let’s take a closer look at each behavior.

1. Avoiding

For some, the pain of confrontation is just too great. 

Those who employ an avoiding strategy withdraw. They refuse to participate in a healthy conflict resolution discussion . But without true input, a conflict can never be resolved. 

What’s more, at work, there's a real loss to the company since any contribution of fresh ideas is lost. 

2. Competing

Those entering a workplace conflict resolution discussion with a competitive mindset have a take-no-prisoners approach. And a win-at-all-costs outlook. 

There is no cooperation with the opposing side, and the person practicing this strategy expects to claim victory in the end. Unfortunately, those with differing points of view will not be acknowledged. 

Since conversations are one-sided, key issues within the conflict can easily be overlooked.

3. Compromising

Compromising is a strategy that blends both assertiveness and a willingness to negotiate. 

While you may not get all that you want, you will get enough for you to be satisfied. While both parties may not be completely happy, the conflict’s resolution will feel even-handed and just.

4. Accommodating

When we quickly give in and accept another’s position in a conflict, we are employing an accommodating strategy. 

It’s submitting to the demands of the other party without acknowledging one’s own wants and needs. While it may look like a means for resolution, it often leads to unresolved issues.

5. Collaborating

Collaboration enables one to put forth their needs while at the same time cooperating with the other side. 

Through a co-creative process, conversations are aimed at jointly creating a solution that brings everyone on board. Collaborative efforts ensure that all parties are satisfied with a solution.

If you’re not sure how to resolve conflict, try using these 11 conflict resolution techniques with your team:

1. Choose your strategy wisely

There is no right or wrong answer about how and when to employ a conflict resolution strategy. 

For example, if the matter at hand is not that important, it may be natural to use an accommodating strategy to move an issue forward. But for more important issues, it may be critical to take a firmer posture to achieve desired outcomes.

To build team cohesion and help resolve any outstanding conflicts, here are some key skills you can leverage:

2. Don’t be defensive 

We all get defensive when we feel our backs are to the wall. But such postures keep us from seeing, let alone understanding, the positions of others. 

It’s always in everyone’s interest to try and grow the mindset of the opposing party. While you don’t have to agree with their views, closing down prevents a conflict from moving forward to resolution. 

By trying to put yourself in another’s shoes, you can go a long way in diffusing a volatile situation. While you don’t have to, try to see the reason in another’s argument. Instead of saying “no,” try to actively understand the opposing side’s position. 

This is your chance to observe from a different perspective.

3. Listen actively

Listening, not talking, is the key to successful communication. 

This is especially true when it comes to conflict resolution and managing team conflict. You need to understand what someone’s underlying concern about the situation is.

While it’s natural for us to talk about our own issues, we often find it difficult to listen to the arguments of others. What’s more, for managers who want to solve problems quickly, it may seem natural to do all of the talking when faced with a conflict. 

But it’s much better to allow space for others to explain their viewpoints without disruption. Respectfully create an environment where everyone shares the spotlight, then really focus on what they’re saying. 

You may discover a new point to their argument, helping to drive collaborative problem-solving.

Coaches often employ active listening skills to be truly present for their clients. 

Working with an opposing party requires deep listening and the ability to mirror and restate what has been said. 

If you can truly understand another’s objectives, compassion can come into play and lead to a quicker resolution. What’s more, by leveraging active listening, you reduce the chance of misunderstanding and misalignment.

4. Be humble

Even if you hold the strongest position in an argument, there still exists the chance you could be wrong.  

That’s the key to humility. 

Consequently, humble leaders don’t use a competitive strategy when engaging with others. They listen to all opinions instead of blindly pushing their agenda forward. 

What’s more, they are consistently open to feedback, even when it’s about their conflict management skills.

5. Don’t take it personally

Your opinions are not you. 

A mature leader realizes that arguments aren’t directed at them personally but at the issues at hand. 

When an argument is attached to your ego, it will be much more difficult to engage in any level of constructive compromise. Taking an approach of active detachment will allow you to depersonalize the situation and come to a resolution faster.

6. Keep calm

Conflict resolution breaks down in the presence of anger. This happens especially when leaders are involved. 

Set the appropriate communication tone for your team and those with opposing views by remaining calm at all times. 

Of course, you can display emotion related to anger when you’re preparing your argument. But never when you’re engaged in the thick of it. Emotional awareness is key when trying to remain impartial.

But before you begin any conflict resolution meeting, it’s essential that you remain calm in order to reach a solution that works for both parties. 

A great manager has the emotional intelligence to keep their own feelings in check.

7. Look for non-verbal cues

Resistance in a conflictual situation doesn’t necessarily come in the form of raised voices and angry words. Nonverbal communication plays a big part, too.

Body language and subtle nonverbal cues can speak volumes as to what is really going on. 

This is especially true if someone is introverted or not used to dealing with conflict directly. Your ability to “read the room” and identify when someone’s body language doesn’t match their words is essential to drive an argument to resolution.

8. Show willingness

With time and effort, you can master a variety of conflict resolution skills. 

That said, your ultimate goal in any conflict is to reach an agreement between both parties. Sometimes this requires a willingness to set aside personal objectives and ego in order to reach a collective solution. 

What’s more, deadlocks between parties can be resolved early and quickly when you display a commitment and willingness to resolve the issue.

9. Practice patience

Conflict is not something to be avoided. Rather, it’s something to be managed, even when we want conflicts to be resolved quickly. 

But lasting solutions can take time, especially if both parties have a strong commitment to their argument. If you rush to a resolution, others may not feel heard, creating a tenuous agreement. 

If you apply the above skills, listen to all arguments, and cultivate patience, you’re likely to achieve a timely resolution.

10. Remain impartial

Showing favoritism or being partial to one side won’t solve the issue — in fact, it could make it worse.

Don’t immediately point fingers before you hear both parties give their explanation. Try to look at each side of the conflict for what it is. Avoid personally taking the people involved and their personalities into account.

11. Stay positive

During an interpersonal conflict, it's easy to sink to the lowest emotional state of someone involved. 

If someone is starting to raise their voice or become negative, try to cut it off early. Redirect the conversation to a more positive tone. 

Remind the parties involved that you're trying to reach a solution that everyone is happy with. 

A positive attitude will keep people more open and accepting. And it will help the conversation from devolving into a shouting match.

Conflict resolution skills examples 

Let’s take a look at two examples where a manager used their conflict resolution skills to solve a problem in the workplace:

Conflict resolution situation 1

One of your employees comes to you and complains that another employee is being too controlling over the department’s radio. They will only play their favorite station, which is a genre of music that not everyone on the team enjoys. The employee also won’t let anyone else adjust the volume. They brought the radio from home and claim it as their own.

Resolution:

You use a compromising resolution style to try and find an outcome that would be good for everyone. 

You listen to all sides of the conflict. Then you explain to the owner of the radio that people find it unfair they have complete control over the department’s music.

You propose a couple of solutions to the team as a compromise.

Each person could be assigned a different day of the week to choose a radio station for the department.   

Alternatively, the radio owner could take the radio home. Then, each employee could use headphones to listen to their own preferred music at their workstation. That way, everyone could get what they want, without interrupting or inconveniencing others.

Conflict resolution situation 2

An employee comes to you complaining about repetitive strain injuries from their workstation. Their arms and hands are sore. Their eyes feel strained, and their neck hurts from having to hunch over.

They say that if something doesn’t change, they’re in so much pain that they will have to quit.

You use an accommodating conflict resolution style to help them fix the problem.  

You actively listen to their problems and make them feel heard. You also let them know that you sympathize with them and want to help them fix the problem.

First, you suggest that they go over the company’s ergonomic training. They can check for themselves if their desk is properly set up. If not, they can make adjustments based on the training and see if it helps resolve their concerns.

You let them know that if they can’t set up their equipment in an ergonomic way, then you can help find another solution. You tell them that you may be able to accommodate them by buying a special ergonomic keyboard or mouse or even a new chair or desk.

Start effectively using conflict resolution skills today

The workplace, or even our personal lives, can quickly spiral out of control if we have an unresolved conflict. 

That’s why it’s important to use effective conflict resolution strategies to nip the problem in the bud.

Now you know some popular conflict resolution strategies, and you’ve seen examples of them in practice. It’s time to try applying them to your own life.

If you’re looking to create a better business environment with less conflict, give BetterUp a try.

See how BetterUp can help your business with conflict resolution by requesting a customized demo.

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Develop your leadership and strategic management skills with the help of an expert Coach.

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Robert Carroll is a certified executive and leadership Coach recognized for his work with leaders at public companies, non-profits, and start-ups. Robert coaches leaders to build purpose-driven companies that empower employees and shape positive culture while creating work environments that are equitable, sustainable, and productive. Robert is a former journalist and technology executive who spent over 20 years working at Fortune 500 companies and startups. In addition, he is certified by the International Coaching Federation and is based in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Can’t we all just get along? A guide to conflict management styles

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5 conflict resolution skills to help you keep the peace

Conflict in the workplace is inevitable, but with the right processes and skills, you can transform disagreements from problematic to productive.

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Working with other people means navigating different experiences, perspectives, expectations, communication styles, and work approaches. That makes conflict inevitable, and conflict resolution an invaluable interpersonal skill . 

But that’s not necessarily bad news. Research shows that workplace conflict can actually be healthy for teams. So what’s the key to ensuring that disagreements are productive rather than poisonous?

What’s the best approach to conflict resolution?

Empathy is the antidote: conflict resolution at work

Every conflict is unique – and so are the ways individuals respond to them. The Thomas-Kilmann model explains that, generally, there are five ways people tend to react to conflict: 

• Competing: Pursuing your own concerns at the other person’s expense
• Accommodating: Neglecting your own concerns to make the other person happy
• Avoiding: Not pursuing your own concerns or the concerns of the other person
• Collaborating : Digging deep into the conflict to find solutions that fully satisfy each person’s concerns
• Compromising: Finding solutions that partially satisfy both parties (often more realistic and expedient than collaboration)

But while conflicts are nuanced and can be met with varied reactions, they have this in common: They’re a problem to solve. A standard approach to conflict resolution can be boiled down to: 

• Understand the root of the disagreement: While it’s tempting to jump right into finding solutions, you first need to understand the problem. Everybody involved in the conflict should come together to explain their side of things. You can use a technique like the 5 whys analysis to go beyond surface-level symptoms and understand the real root of the conflict. 
• Ask for solutions: People want to be involved in solving the problem, not just identifying it. Once everybody agrees on the cause of the conflict, each person involved should have an opportunity to voice solutions. Your goal here isn’t to reach consensus on the way forward – you’re simply giving everybody a chance to share their ideal remedy. 
• Agree on solutions: This is the hard part. With all of the prospective solutions out on the table, all of the involved parties need to negotiate a way forward. That might mean blending different solutions together to find an option that gives everyone involved the most of what they’re looking for. Ultimately, nobody should feel like the “loser” of the conflict. 

5 conflict resolution skills 

Understanding the typical mediation process is helpful, but the right conflict resolution skills will make reaching an agreement even smoother. Here are five that are crucial for successful conflict resolution: 

• Communication : To solve a conflict, people need to understand each other – and that means they each need to be able to clearly communicate their point of view and expectations. Nonverbal communication carries a lot of weight in conflicts too, as cues like posture, gestures, and facial expressions could either strengthen or undermine the points you’re making.
• Active listening: Communication isn’t only about talking – listening matters too. Active listening , in particular, is the most helpful for smooth and respectful conflict resolution. When digging to the root cause of the disagreement, take turns summarizing each other’s perspectives to reach a mutual understanding before trying to find a resolution. 
• Objectivity: Objectivity might seem like something that’s imperative only when you’re mediating a conflict that you aren’t directly involved in. But, as challenging as it is, it can also be a boost when resolving disagreements that directly impact you. Objectivity allows you to see things with a more balanced point of view, as opposed to setting up a narrative in which you’re the hero and the other person is the villain. 
• Empathy: If you think achieving objectivity is impossible, empathy can help you understand and rationalize how other parties in the conflict feel. When you take some time to actually connect with other feelings and perspectives, it’s easier to approach the conflict with a productive and collaborative mindset. 
• Emotional intelligence: As the Cleveland Clinic explains , successful conflict resolution depends on your ability to regulate stress and other emotions. That’s why emotional intelligence – the ability to recognize and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others – is so crucial for effectively resolving a conflict. 

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12 principles of a problem solving approach to conflict resolution

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I’ve recently been involved with a couple of community groups experiencing conflict. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever been involved in an ongoing group that hasn’t had some conflict. A group without conflict is probably in danger of stagnation.

What’s important is how we respond to conflict.

I find a problem solving approach to conflict can be particularly useful when working with groups, families and communities. The following are 12 principles that can help in adopting a problem solving approach to conflict.

1.  Conflict is seen as a normal part of life. People often try to avoid conflict and see it as being destructive, painful or unconstructive. Conflict, however, can be seen as a normal part of life that is neither positive nor negative. What is important is how we respond to conflict. Conflict can actually encourage change and growth. If we deal with conflict before it becomes a crisis, it can be easier to resolve — so avoidance might not always be the best way forward.

2.  A problem solving approach requires cooperation rather than competition. In a problem solving approach, the emphasis is on working together to overcome a problem. Conflict is thus not seen as a competition or a contest, and the people involved are encouraged to be collaborators rather than opponents. Although not all conflicts can be resolved in ways which everybody is totally happy, at least we might be able to agree to a process that will allow us to move forward.

3.  It is important to respect the interests and needs of both yourself and the other party(s). A cooperative approach is more likely to be successful if the people involved don’t just focus on what they want, but also consider what the other people want as well. A focus only on your own interests is less likely to lead to an outcome that everyone can accept.

4.  The aim is to find an outcome that everybody involved can at least accept . In order to promote cooperation, the aim of a problem solving approach is to find an outcome everybody can accept; ideally a win/win. Although there are conflicts involving mutually exclusive needs, especially those involving limited resources, there are many situations where it is possible to find “win/win” solutions. Even if we might not be totally happy with the outcome, we might be able to accept it as fair or reasonable.

5.  It can be helpful, particularly in the early stages, to focus on interests (or needs) rather than solutions (or positions). Conflict is more likely to be resolved if we start with a focus on interests or needs rather than solutions or positions. Whilst there are some deep-rooted human needs which cannot be compromised, by exploring the underlying needs and interests first, a number of solutions which satisfy everybody can often be found. Initial solutions or positions might be mutually exclusive, but once the underlying needs are explored, alternative solutions might be possible.

6.  The role of communication in conflict is vital. A lot of conflict is the result of poor communication or miscommunication, and clear communication can assist in conflict resolution. Strategies such as I messages and active listening can help promote clear communication.

7.  Analysis is an important part of conflict resolution. An analytical approach can allow conflict to be approached in a rational and logical manner. Being clear about things such as the characteristics of the parties involved, their prior relationship, the nature of the issues involved, and the consequences of the conflict can make a big difference.

8.  Emotions are a vital part of conflict and need to be addressed. Even though a rational and logical approach helps, it is important to recognise that emotions also play a major role in conflict and cannot be ignored. Unless we address the emotional context of conflict, it may be very hard to proceed. For example, an apology often plays a very important role in moving forward.

9.  Self-awareness helps one to respond effectively to conflict. If we are aware of things like how we react to conflict, how other people respond to us and our communication style, we are more likely to be able to respond positively to conflict. Self-awareness also help us to deal with hidden, underlying or unconscious aspects of conflict.

10.  Conflict is not always easily resolved and we need to accept that not everybody uses a cooperative approach to conflict. This means it is important to explore ways of dealing with difficult situations and people. At time is may help to use a neutral third-party to help with mediation.

11.  Despite problems or provocation, it helps to maintain a cooperative approach, to remain open to new possibilities and to seek a fair or just solution. Even when someone is acting in ways which makes it hard to resolve the conflict constructively, it can help if we remain caring and fair and see the other person as being worthy of care and justice. Sometimes a negative response can suggest that we need to pay more attention to the emotional context before moving on to try to address the other issues involved.

12.  It helps to remain positive and optimistic. Even when things are going badly, we are more likely to be able to resolve the conflict successfully if we believe it can be done. By remaining positive and optimistic, possibilities can emerge that we might otherwise miss.

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14 Conflict Resolution Strategies for the Workplace

One lesson common to humanity is how to negotiate conflict skillfully.

In a keynote speech to graduate students in conflict analysis, international mediator Kenneth Cloke (2011) made a profound statement that has stayed with me to this day: “Conflict is the arrow pointing to what we need to learn the most.”

Interpersonal skills such as conflict resolution extend beyond social circles, affecting the workplace and illuminating lessons yet to be learned.

American businesses lose $359 billion yearly due to unresolved conflict and low productivity (Kauth, 2020). The physical, emotional, psychological, and interpersonal tolls are incalculable.

Can we seek a better understanding of conflict and transform its devastating effects?

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Work & Career Coaching Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify opportunities for professional growth and create a more meaningful career.

This Article Contains:

What is conflict resolution & why is it important, 5 psychological benefits of conflict resolution, 7 examples of conflict resolution skills, how to do conflict resolution: 2 approaches, 6 methods and approaches to apply in the office, 6 strategies and techniques for the workplace, best activities, games, workbooks, and online tools, helpful books for managers and organizations, resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message.

Pruitt and Kim (2004, pp. 7–8) describe conflict as “perceived divergence of interest, a belief that the parties’ current aspirations are incompatible.”

Conflict resolution is an agreement reached when all or most of the issues of contention are cleared up (Pruitt & Kim, 2004).

Further, conflict management is a product of successful problem-solving in which the parties have worked out ways to de-escalate conflict and avoid future escalations.

Conflict can be disruptive and, at worst, destructive. Once it erupts, it’s hard to control (Bolton, 1986). Emotions run high during conflict, blocking the path to rational solutions.

Conflict resolution is important because “when people experience conflicts, much of their energy goes into emotions related to those conflicts” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 2).

Some emotions commonly associated with conflict include fear, anger, distrust, rejection, defensiveness, hopelessness, resentment, and stress (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011; Bolton, 1986).

Another reason conflict resolution is important is because people involved in heavily contentious conflict are likely to experience “a wide range of psychological and physical health problems including weakened immune system, depression, alcoholism, and eating disorders” (Pruitt & Kim, 2004, pp. 11–12).

Clearly, languishing in this state of emotional upheaval and chaos is harmful emotionally, physically, and psychologically.

Conflict resolution: A theoretical framework

Realistic conflict theory assumes “conflict can always be explained by some tangible (like territory, money, prizes) or intangible (like power, prestige, honor) resource that is desired by both groups and is in short supply” (Pruitt & Kim, 2004, pp. 28–29).

This theory attempts to explain why conflict occurs as humans perpetually strive to acquire perceived needs.

Cortisol released because of ongoing stress soaks the brain’s nerve cells, causing memories to shrink (Leaf, 2008).

This affects the ability to think creatively, a helpful component for resolution.

In addition, the stress response increases blood sugar levels, speeding up our heart rate to pump blood to our arms, legs, and brain in preparation to escape (Leaf, 2008). This physiological fight-or-flight reaction  saps precious energy.

Dealing with emotions first will help reduce emotional arousal and stress. Once the body returns to normal, rational problem-solving skills can resume. Typically, people get into trouble when they address conflict at the peak of emotional arousal.

For this reason, acknowledge that the issue needs to be addressed but wait until emotions subside before engaging in a discussion. This ensures the issue is not ignored. In other words, conflict can be scheduled .

Some psychological benefits of conflict resolution include (Arslan, Hamarta, & Usla, 2010; Sexton & Orchard, 2016; Bolton, 1986):

• Stress reduction
• Improved self-esteem

Improved self-efficacy

• Better relationships

Increased energy

Let’s take a quick look at two of the most common benefits.

Self-efficacy is a person’s belief in their capability to complete a specific task successfully (Lunenburg, 2011). Learning and practicing skills such as effective communication and conflict resolution are essential building blocks for self-efficacy. Successful conflict resolution skills in the workplace increase confidence, promoting the likelihood of future successes (Lunenburg, 2011).

Increased self-efficacy “influences the tasks employees choose to learn and the goals they set for themselves” (Lunenburg, 2011, p. 1). It also influences employees’ efforts and perseverance when taking on and learning new tasks (Lunenburg, 2011).

Sometimes you have to expend energy to gain energy. Conflict robs individuals and organizations of precious energy. Mastering conflict resolution skills takes energy initially but can save energy in the long run through reduced stress and improved relationships and productivity.

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To reap the benefits of resolving conflict, certain helpful skills must be applied, and there are many conflict resolution skills that are effective for the workplace.

Below are skills believed to be crucial for resolving conflict.

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness is described by Goleman (1995, p. 43) as “recognizing a feeling as it happens.” Goleman states that people with high self-awareness have moment-to-moment awareness and navigate life adeptly.

2. Self-control

Self-control is the ability to manage unruly impulses and emotions effectively. Because emotions play a central role in conflict, the ability to stay composed despite heightened emotions is essential to constructive resolution.

3. Assertive communication

Bolton (1986) describes assertive communication as a dynamic communication style in which the speaker maintains self-respect, expresses personal needs, and defends their own rights without abusing or dominating others.

While an aggressive communication style may shut down a conversation, assertiveness encourages dialogue. This skill takes practice and courage. Bolton (1986) asserts that less than 5% of the population communicates assertively.

4. Collaboration

According to Folger, Poole, and Stutman (2009), the goal of collaboration is to consider all the important needs of the primary parties and develop a solution that meets these needs.

5. Problem-solving

Problem-solving in relation to conflict resolution is a strategy that pursues alternative solutions that satisfy the needs and goals of the parties involved (Pruitt & Kim, 2004).

According to Sorensen (2017), empathy is the ability to share and understand the emotions and feelings of others. Our understanding of another person’s perspective can increase the likelihood of emotional connection and collaboration.

7. Listening

Active listening is one of the most underrated and underutilized conflict resolution skills. Listening during conflict achieves key goals, primarily putting an end to cyclical arguing and opening the door to empathy and understanding.

The conflict resolution method

This simple, three-step formula for conflict resolution works well for conflicts involving values and intense emotions.

Step 1: Engage with the other respectfully

Respect is an attitude shown through specific behaviors, such as how you look at the other person, how you listen, your tone of voice, and word choices.

Step 2: Listen fully until you experience their side

The goal of listening in this manner is to understand the content of the other person’s ideas or contributions, what it means for them, and their feelings about it.

Step 3: Verbalize your feelings, views, and needs

Assertive communication works well in this stage. Some caveats accompany this stage of conflict resolution:

• This step is not always necessary.
• Make your statement brief.
• Avoid loaded words.
• Be truthful and concise.
• Disclose your feelings.

Collaborative problem-solving

Bolton (1986) provides a six-step outline for collaboration when the issue is more about needs than emotions.

• Define the primary needs surrounding the conflict.
• Brainstorm possible solutions.
• Choose solutions that meet the needs of both parties.
• Create an agenda delineating who will assume each task.
• Implement the plan.
• Evaluate the solutions and reevaluate if needed.

The conflict resolution method and collaborative problem-solving are generalized approaches to conflict resolution when two or more parties are willing to work together on an issue.

Lipsky, Seeber, and Fincher (2003) provide approaches to work through issues that erupt in work settings.

1. The open door policy

This generalized philosophy is intended to show that management supports open dialogue and encourages staff to discuss differences that arise in the workplace. It is considered an initial step toward conflict resolution.

2. Ombudspersons

These are neutral or impartial managers who provide informal and confidential assistance to staff and management in order to resolve work-related disputes. Ombudspersons may wear a variety of hats, including mediator, fact-finder, consultant, and change agent.

3. Internal peer mediation

Some organizations call on designated employees as mediators to help resolve conflict. This method often addresses issues of a non-statutory nature, such as unfairness.

The success of this method rests on the careful selection of peer mediators based on their exemplary communication skills and abilities.

4. Professional mediators

Professional mediators are not connected with the organization in any way and function as independent, impartial, third parties who assist the primary parties through a formal mediation process.

Mediation is a viable option for creating structure to conflict resolution in an unbiased manner.

5. Peer review and employee appeals

This process is sometimes used by manufacturing organizations in an effort to avoid a union process. The underlying belief is that if at all possible, employee disputes should be resolved internally.

6. Executive panels

This method provides an opportunity for employees to present their claims to a panel of the organization’s senior executives, assuming they will be objective and sympathetic.

Using tools such as questionnaires, activities, and assessments can help employees work through conflict by adding insight and skills to the equation. Let’s look at some such tools.

2 Tools for groups

Often, people haven’t been taught the skills to discuss issues calmly and productively. The following worksheets can be used to provide structure to conflict.

Reviewing these worksheets before conflict erupts is a great opportunity to open a conversation and agree upon a conflict resolution process before matters spiral out of control.

The Remaining Calm During Conflict – I worksheet helps clients walk through conflict, providing tips on how to perceive conflict and deal with emotional reactions.

The Remaining Calm During Conflict – II worksheet encourages clients to journal about times when they did and did not remain calm during a workplace conflict.

2 Effective questionnaires

This self-assessment provided by CINERGY™ can be used to broaden the scope of awareness of ourselves and others, particularly during conflict. The assessment measures an individual’s current level of conflict intelligence.

This Conflict Management Styles Assessment , made available by the Blake Group, allows clients to uncover their primary conflict style and includes a description of the five conflict management styles.

A look at meditation for conflict resolution

This video provides an insightful awareness of our own habitual patterns and how these manifest in us and others during conflict.

Here is another recommended video that helps visualize how to prepare for conflict and build boundaries with others in a calm manner.

The Two Dollar Game

The Two Dollar Game was developed to help employees learn basic conflict styles and the art of negotiation in a fun, thoughtful way.

Conflict Description Template

This conflict management template created by the University of Iowa is intended to deal with conflict in a university setting but can easily apply to other teams or departments and used as an intuitive conflict mapping guide.

Coping With Stress in the Workplace Workbook by Ester Leutenberg and John Liptak

This workbook by Leutenberg and Liptak contains activities, assessments, journaling prompts, and educational handouts that can be photocopied and used to address conflict in the workplace.

Chapters contain resources about how to deal with workplace stress , different personalities, work habits, and relationships.

Online tools and resources for conflict resolution

The website Online Master of Legal Studies includes a wealth of Free Tools and Resources for Conflict Resolution . Some resources have been incorporated into this blog.

The wide variety of resources include a Cost of Conflict Calculator and tools to enhance cross-cultural communication.

Role-play activity

In this Assertive Message Role-Play , participants are presented with various workplace scenarios and encouraged to formulate assertive messages to initiate a discussion about the problem at hand.

1. People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts – Robert Bolton

Some books are classics.

This one has been used for years to help guide individuals through the communication and conflict resolution process.

It’s a great resource for anyone interested in building robust interpersonal skills.

Find the book on Amazon .

2. The Big Book of Conflict Resolution Games: Quick, Effective Activities to Improve Communication, Trust and Collaboration – Mary Scannell

This is a useful resource for incorporating activities and games to help employees listen to each other, engage productively, and create a culture of respect.

Topics include conflict, communication, diversity, trust, perspectives, emotional intelligence, and collaboration.

3. Emerging Systems for Managing Workplace Conflict – David Lipsky, Ronald Seeber, and Richard Fincher

The authors walk readers through the emergence of conflict in the workplace by creating dispute resolution systems for integration in a corporate setting.

This is a helpful resource for managers and corporate leaders interested in reducing the corporate costs of conflict.

4. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

Crucial Conversations is a New York Times bestseller that provides tools to traverse difficult and important conversations.

Ideas discussed in this book can help transform your career, organization, and community.

Readers learn how to listen and speak in ways that create safety and inclusion.

• Assertive Communication This worksheet helps clients learn the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication. Assertive communication is essential for expressing our needs and opinions, and defending our rights in a direct and respectful manner.
• Active Listening Reflection Worksheet Use this worksheet to help clients sharpen listening skills essential for conflict resolution.

The worksheet reviews eight essential skills for active listening and includes a reflection exercise to evaluate which skills we use effectively and which can be strengthened.

• Blindfold Guiding Exercise This exercise can be used as an icebreaker or as part of a  team-building exercise when members are struggling with trust issues.

Trust is a crucial element of team stability and is essential when conflict erupts. In this exercise, one person leads a blindfolded partner using simple statements. As trust builds, the duo can be instructed to speed up, slow down, or attempt to lead with silence.

• Generating Alternative Solutions and Better Decision-Making This worksheet provides a map to work through problem-solving by considering three solutions to a specific issue accompanied by a discussion on the efficacy, do-ability, and effectiveness of the identified solution.
• 17 Positive Communication Exercises If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others communicate better, check out this collection of 17 validated positive communication tools for practitioners . Use them to help others improve their communication skills and form deeper and more positive relationships.

Conflict divides. The effects of poorly handled conflict range from disruptive to destructive. It robs individuals and organizations of precious resources, such as energy, productivity, peace, and harmony.

Regardless of our station in life, we all still have lessons to learn.

Will we ever be free of conflict? Perhaps we can look at it another way. As we gain skills and experience successes resolving conflict, we can anticipate the next conflict and the next lesson, mindful of the potential wisdom and strengths we’ll gain in the process.

Are you facing an unresolved conflict at work or in your personal life? Try not to be discouraged; instead, think of it as your next life lesson waiting to be discovered.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Work & Career Coaching Exercises for free .

• Arslan, C., Hamarta, E., & Usla, M. (2010). The relationship between conflict communication, self-esteem and life satisfaction in university students.  Educational Research and Reviews ,  5 (1), 31–34.
• Bolton, R. (1986). People skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others, and resolve conflict . Touchstone.
• Cloke, K. (2011). Untitled [Keynote Speaker]. In 24th Residential Institute – Winter 2011 . Nova Southeastern University.
• Folger, J. P., Poole, M. S., & Stutman, R. K. (2009). Working through conflict: Strategies for relationships, groups, and organizations . Pearson Education.
• Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ . Bantam Books.
• Kauth, K. (2020, January). Cost of workplace conflict . Mediate.com. Retrieved November 27, 2021, from https://www.mediate.com/articles/kauth-cost-workplace.cfm
• Leaf, C. (2008). Who switched off my brain? Controlling toxic thoughts and emotions . Thomas Nelson.
• Leutenberg, E. R. A., & Liptak, J. J. (2014).  Coping with stress in the workplace workbook.  Whole Person Associates.
• Lipsky, D. B., Seeber, R. L., & Fincher, R. D. (2003). Emerging systems for managing workplace conflict . Jossey-Bass.
• Lunenburg, F. C. (2011). Self-efficacy in the workplace: Implications for motivation and performance. International Journal of Management, Business, and Administration , 14 (1), 1–6.
• Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2011).  Crucial conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high  (2nd ed.). McGraw Hill.
• Pruitt, D. G., & Kim, S. H. (2004). Social conflict: Escalation, stalemate, and settlement (3rd ed.). McGraw Hill.
• Scannell, M. (2010).  The big book of conflict resolution games: Quick, effective activities to improve communication, trust and collaboration.  McGraw Hill.
• Sexton, M., & Orchard, C. (2016). Understanding healthcare professionals’ self-efficacy to resolve interprofessional conflict. Journal of Interprofessional Care , 30 (3), 316–323.
• Sorensen, M. S. (2017). I hear you: The surprisingly simple skill behind extraordinary relationships . Autumn Creek Press.
• Wilmot, W., & Hocker, J. (2011). Interpersonal conflict (8th ed.). McGraw Hill.

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10 Leadership Conflict Management & Resolution Skills 2024

Being a leader in any organization is no easy task. Not only are leaders responsible for their actions, and the ramifications thereof, they are also responsible for the behavior and actions of their team members.

Running a team like a well-oiled machine is no easy task, as more often than not it doesn't run as well as a leader may like. There will be times that there will be conflict in the workplace, which could, if left unchecked, threaten to derail the productivity and profitability of the organization, and the morale of the team. This is where leadership conflict management and resolution skills for team leaders come to the fore.

They are qualities that set a good and a great leader apart. Success requires teamwork and clear communication. When leading a team, one of your primary responsibilities is making sure your team works well together and when it doesn't, you're able to resolve the conflict.

Often, individuals with varying personalities comprise these teams. The ability to recognize potential conflicts between individual team members and develop conflict resolution strategies to resolve them quickly is essential for projects to proceed successfully.

Leaders recognize that understanding conflict management can help them resolve issues before they occur or resolve existing conflicts in such a way that your team can still work together as a cohesive unit.

10 Leadership Conflict Management & Resolution Skills

1. communicate early and often .

To reduce misunderstandings and ambiguity, communicate your intentions and desires to not just one party, but rather every employee and as such all parties involved in the work environment. Ask what your colleagues need to work their best, and do your part to meet their needs or – at a minimum – avoid doing that which you know will cause harm. If you suspect conflict amongst team members, a leader must nip it in the bud quickly as problems will not just disappear, but rather linger if not. Failing to act as a leader when you spot a potential problem can create problems down the line.

2. Listen actively

Active listening is a proven leadership skill for conflict resolution, and involves developing a skill for listening to what is verbally and nonverbally communicated. Often, conflicts arise because two parties misunderstand or mishear what the other person is saying. Leaders know how to manage conflict and understand that active listening helps ensure that the sender and receiver understand one another and can more easily move towards a resolution. This is half the battle when it comes to being a mediator in resolving conflicts.

3. Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, manage, and control emotions not just in oneself, but also in others. Understanding, expressing, and effectively handling emotions are vital for conflict resolution. EI skills help improve communication and relationships and therefore is included in the vital skills for conflict resolution.

4. Problem solving

Problem-solving skills help leaders or parties in conflict recognize and address the root causes of conflicts by identifying the issues and exploring possible solutions. Leaders can apply the 5 problem-solving steps or 5 conflict management styles for conflict resolution: identify the problem, list possible solutions, evaluate the solutions, choose one solution, and implement it. People can find creative and equitable solutions to their conflicts by applying problem-solving skills.

5. Negotiation

Negotiation is trying to reach an agreement between two or more parties. It can be used to resolve disputes and every conflict and is integral to conflict resolution. Negotiation skills can be learned and practiced, and one can apply them in various situations. Therefore, it is vital to have effective negotiation skills to help achieve successful outcomes in any case. Negotiation is one of the powerful skills for conflict resolution, and it can help bring parties together to work toward a common goal. 

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6. Observation

Observation is the key to effective conflict management. When a leader observes a conflict, one can understand it better and find solutions that work for both parties. You must also be able to keep track of your emotions and reactions to remain impartial. The skills required to be a practical observer will vary depending on the type of conflict you are dealing with.

7. Self-awareness

Self-awareness helps you understand your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, enabling you to identify the underlying causes of conflicts. Once you thoroughly understand the source of conflict, you can begin resolving it using other conflict management skills and techniques. This vital skill also helps you in identifying any biases you might have as a manager.

8. Team awareness

A conflict resolution team is especially important for effective conflict resolution, and must have the skills to work together effectively. One of the skills that are essential for conflict resolution is team awareness. This skill helps managers understand their team dynamics and how they interact with each other. In addition, it can help resolve conflict before it escalates into a severe issue. Conflict occurs through any disagreement and can cause rifts, so team awareness helps a manager to make their teams work through their differences and reach a consensus on a solution.

9. Patience

Conflict can mean different things to different people, but what is universal is that resolving conflict is a challenging but essential part of any relationship. It can be frustrating when an argument escalates quickly to the point of no return. But patience is critical to resolving conflict successfully. Effective leadership means that the best leaders need to take their time and not rush into a decision. When one is trying to resolve a conflict, it helps to circle back and understand the other person’s point of view to effectively manage things and develop a solution that works for both parties. By listening carefully and taking time to think about the situation, you can diffuse tense situations and build trust between you and the other person. All in all, patience can be one of the key skills for conflict resolution.

10. Impartiality 

It is often difficult to stay impartial when you manage conflict, but in any conflict, a good manager should never take sides. Being impartial means that you can listen to both sides of the story and act accordingly. A problem at hand can't be resolved unless the historical issues are addressed. In this type of situation, it's best to separate the conflict from the people that are involved with it. Effective leaders understand that they shouldn't focus on people and their personal characteristics, instead, they should look at the problem and center their energy on finding a solution. 

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Conclusion 

Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Being a true leader is no easy task, and nor too is managing interpersonal or interdepartmental conflict within an organization. When it comes to conflict, being cool, calm, collected, impartial and able to see the wood for the trees, are skills every leader/manager worth their salt must posses or face the consequences of lost productivity and other knock-on effects that may also affect the profitability of the company. Many leaders know that their role in solving workplace conflict is to help employees involved in the conflict to clarify their needs and guide them to a fair solution that both sides will accept. All conflict situations can lead to division, so as part of the conflict resolution, be sure to address all types of different conflict right away; however, don't rush when it comes to working out a resolution.

Whilst many say that leaders are born and not made, what is apparent is that modern leaders can be coached at a university like Nexford , that offers BBA and MBA programs, on how to spot conflict early and develop ways of managing conflict in the workplace before things spiral out of control. Nexford's Leadership Management and Teams course focuses on how to create a personal and shared vision and communicate effectively with teams, as a leader, a manager and a team member. On the course learners will develop a personal philosophy of leadership, management and membership in the global workplace through a personal inventory and assessment, as well as apply conflict management skills to a personal and organizational setting. Complimenting that, Nexford's Leadership and Organizational Development course examines individual and group interaction and helps learners gain a deeper understanding of how human behavior drives organizational behavior and development. On the course learners will apply various leadership styles, conflict management strategies, and change models to organizational situations to resolve conflict at hand.

Discover how you can acquire the most in-demand skills that can help with managing conflict within the workplace with our free report. Download the free report  today!

What is conflict management?

Conflict management is an umbrella term for the way we identify and handle conflicts fairly and efficiently and is necessary for managing diverse teams. The goal is to minimize the potential negative impacts that are involved in a conflict and can arise from disagreements and increase the odds of a positive outcome. 

What is a conflict management strategy?

Strategies for managing conflict are the ways a manager can engage with their employees productively when it seems like there is a risk of conflicts and arguments emerging. People naturally deal with conflicts in different ways, but some can be better than others when it comes to keeping everyone involved in the situation happy and productive. By combining your own natural conflict management style with any of the styles below, you can develop a range of responses to arguments and clashes in the workplace.

What types of conflict can occur in the workplace?

As no two days are ever the same, so too are the types of conflict that may occur in the office environment. Knowing how to spot them, and stop them early can help to resolve a conflict in double quick time. Experts maintain that there are 5 conflict types that occur in the workplace and they are leadership conflicts, work style conflicts, creative conflicts, personality conflicts, and task-based conflicts.

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Why is it crucial for a leader/employer to have conflict management skills?

Understanding conflict allows leaders to manage it more effectively and can provide a path to accomplishing positive outcomes. Conflict can lead to division, so every leader needs to understand that conflict management training can be an active force that will allow leaders grow healthy relationships within their organizations which can ultimately result in effective team work and productivity and make it easier to manage workplace disputes.

What does it take for a leader to resolve disputes in the workplace?

Depending on the situation, there are many skills and strategies leaders must look at for managing conflict and resolve disputes in the workplace. Leading from the front is just one and taking control of a situation before a molehill turns into a mountain. But if you had to put your finger on it, what exactly does it take for a leader to increase their resolution efforts and  resolve disputes in the workplace? Experts would maintain that as a leader, even though you can initiate a constructive conversation, the effort always involves dialogue and discussion among the people involved. Conflict is inevitable, but by adopting a positive attitude toward the conflict, leaders find the best in people and in the situation, and maintain their sense of humor. Sounds easy enough, but more often than that it isn't necessarily so.

Looking to potentially take your career even further? Consider how an  Online BBA  or  Online MBA  can help you develop these skills and increase your earning potential.

Mark is a college graduate with Honours in Copywriting. He is the Content Marketing Manager at Nexford, creating engaging, thought-provoking, and action-oriented content.

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We are a community of more than 103,000 authors and editors from 3,291 institutions spanning 160 countries, including Nobel Prize winners and some of the world’s most-cited researchers. Publishing on IntechOpen allows authors to earn citations and find new collaborators, meaning more people see your work not only from your own field of study, but from other related fields too.

Brief introduction to this section that descibes Open Access especially from an IntechOpen perspective

Want to get in touch? Contact our London head office or media team here

Our team is growing all the time, so we’re always on the lookout for smart people who want to help us reshape the world of scientific publishing.

Home > Books > Interpersonal Relationships

School Conflicts: Causes and Management Strategies in Classroom Relationships

Submitted: 03 September 2020 Reviewed: 07 December 2020 Published: 23 December 2020

DOI: 10.5772/intechopen.95395

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Interpersonal Relationships

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Conflicts cannot cease to exist, as they are intrinsic to human beings, forming an integral part of their moral and emotional growth. Likewise, they exist in all schools. The school is inserted in a space where the conflict manifests itself daily and assumes relevance, being the result of the multiple interpersonal relationships that occur in the school context. Thus, conflict is part of school life, which implies that teachers must have the skills to manage conflict constructively. Recognizing the diversity of school conflicts, this chapter aimed to present its causes, highlighting the main ones in the classroom, in the teacher-student relationship. It is important to conflict face and resolve it with skills to manage it properly and constructively, establishing cooperative relationships, and producing integrative solutions. Harmony and appreciation should coexist in a classroom environment and conflict should not interfere, negatively, in the teaching and learning process. This bibliography review underscore the need for during the teachers’ initial training the conflict management skills development.

• school conflicts
• classroom conflicts
• school conflict management
• teacher-student relationship

Author Information

Sabina valente *.

• Center for Research in Education and Psychology, University of Évora, Portugal

Abílio Afonso Lourenço

• University of Minho, Portugal

Zsolt Németh

• Faculty of Sciences, Institute of Sport Science and Physical Education, Department of Theory and Practice of Sports, University of Pécs, Hungary

*Address all correspondence to: [email protected]

1. Introduction

One of the most striking characteristics of human beings is the diversities. Different ways of being, thinking and existing, different needs, world views, ethical positions mark the relationships between people. In this sense, interpersonal conflicts are understood as tension that involves different interests or positions, are inherent to human relationships, and are present in various social organizations, among them, the school.

The school as microcosms of society brings together different views of the world, different ways of being, thinking, and living, thus becoming a space for representing social differences and being a place where different conflicts occur daily. Dealing with this situation type requires learning and that is why teachers need training in conflict management so that they can correctly manage the classroom conflicts and educate also your students for conflict management.

Recognizing that the school is an organization that brings together social diversity and adopting as an assumption that interpersonal conflicts are inherent to human relationships, we define the school conflicts as this chapter theme. In this sense, this chapter addresses school conflicts with a focus on classroom conflicts in the teacher-student relationship. In the first part, a brief reference is made to the conflict. This is followed by a review of the bibliography on school/classroom conflict causes.

Due to its intrinsic characteristics, school is a favorable medium for conflict situations development. So, the conflict in the education system can be seen from the dialectic between the macrostructure of the education system, the general policies oriented towards it, and the management processes that prevail in each school [ 1 ].

The conflict presents formative possibilities, since the perception of the differences existing between people/or groups and their needs, values, ideas, and different ways of living are essential to a democratic society [ 2 ]. In this sense, it is important to enhance positive conflict characteristics and reduce the negative ones. So, the difficulty in resolving conflicts is largely due to the difficulties existing between those involved in the conflict to be able to communicate effectively. Therefore, the constructive and educational potential of conflicts depends largely on the skills of those involved. Thus, knowing how to communicate, and respecting the rights of others and existing differences are essential for conflicts to revert to social and human development benefits.

The concern with improving coexistence in schools, centred on the conflict variable, is addressed in different studies, whose objectives mark both understanding the school conflict [ 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 ], as well as preventing its occurrence [ 7 ]. Since it is impossible to eliminate school conflicts, it is essential and urgent to reduce their intensity, duration, and severity, so that the teaching and learning process is not harmed. In this sense, this chapter addresses also the strategies used to manage classroom conflict, and some examples of programs that work these skills on teachers and students.

2. Conflict

The conflict is defined and classified from different perspectives, and its definition can differ, in context, process, intervention, and study areas [ 1 , 8 ]. Conflict is a phenomenon of incompatibility between individuals or groups with irreconcilable ends and/or values ​​between them, considering it a social process [ 1 ]. For this author, four elements are present and must be addressed in all conflicts: the causes that give rise to it; the conflict protagonists; the process and the way the protagonists face the conflict; and the context in which it occurs. In turn, Chrispino [ 9 ] understands conflict as to any divergent opinion or a different way of seeing or interpreting an event, that is, the conflict originates in the difference of interests, desires, aspirations, or positions between individuals. He adds that conflicts can arise from difficulties in communication and assertiveness.

In this way, we can say that there is a conflict when two or more people interact with each other and perceive incompatible differences, or threats to their resources, needs, or values and when they respond according to what was perceived, then the ideal conditions for conflict are created. The conflict intensity, duration, or severity can then increase or decrease depending on the strategies used to resolve it. Regardless of the different conflict definitions, there is no conflict if the individuals involved are not aware of its existence. This conclusion is consensual to the majority of the definition proposals and to the attempts to conceptualize the conflict found in the specialized literature.

In addition to different conflict definitions, there are also different proposals for classifying it. Concerning the different conflict classification [ 8 , 10 , 11 ] the emphasis is placed on the theoretical proposals of [ 8 , 11 ]. Conflicts can be classified into five different types: structural, value, relationship, interest, and data [ 11 ]. In structural conflicts, causes are associated with unequal control situations, possession or resource distribution, unequal power, and authority, geographical, physical, or environmental factors that prevent cooperation and time pressures. In value conflicts, it highlights situations of opposing ideas or behaviors, different ways of life, ideology, or religion. Relationship conflicts are caused by strong emotions, misperceptions or stereotypes, inadequate or deficient communication, and negative and/or repetitive behaviors. The causes of interest conflicts are perceived or real competition over fundamental interests (content), procedural interests, and psychological interests. Finally, about data conflicts, [ 11 ] highlights the lack of information or wrong information, different points of view on what is important, different data interpretations, and different assessment procedures.

In turn, Torrego [ 8 ] presents a typology that seems to reflect the type of school conflicts: relationship-communication conflicts; interest/needs conflicts; and preferences, values, and beliefs conflicts. As for the relationship-communication conflicts, it cannot be said that there is a concrete cause that justifies their appearance, however, it appears as a result of the relationship deterioration itself. As such, aggressions, struggles, offenses, defamations, rumors, humiliations, misunderstandings are part of this type of conflict, but also perception conflicts, because, despite the conflict reality being only one, this fact does not invalidate that those involved have their view of it. Interest or needs conflicts usually occur when one party considers that it will only be able to satisfy its needs/interests if the other gives in to theirs. This conflict type can include those that stem from disagreement about how to perform jobs or tasks and those that result from the need felt by one of the parties to own or be coerced into giving in: objects, time, space, or any type of appeal. Finally, preferences, values, and beliefs conflicts result when these systems are discordant or viewed as such by those involved in the conflict. However, this conflict type can be resolved if the parties identify higher values ​​common to both.

It is important to say that the conflict constructive paradigm indicates that the conflict has positive and negative aspects, advantages, and disadvantages. This new model is opposed to the classic model and indicates that moderate levels of conflict are perceived as positive [ 12 ]. The conflict effects are positive, when they are well managed, to establish more cooperative relations and seek to reach an integrated solution, for the benefit of those involved in the conflict [ 10 ]. In any organization, the existence of low levels of conflict leaves the organization vulnerable to stagnation, to making impoverished decisions, even to the lack of effectiveness; on the other hand, having too much conflict leads the organization directly into chaos.

Given the above, we can say that conflicts are inherent to human relationships since human beings are characterized by diversity. The school, by bringing together people from different social groups with different values and worldviews, becomes a locus for conflicts.

3. School conflicts

The school is a society microsystem, in which are reflected constant changes. Thus, one of the most important school functions is to prepare students, teachers, and parents to live and overcome the difficulties of a world full of rapid changes and interpersonal conflicts, contributing to the development process of each individual. For being a society microsystem and bringing together different ways of life, thinking, feeling, relationship, constitutes a space conducive to interpersonal conflicts.

School conflict is defined as the disagreement between individuals or groups regarding ideas, interests, principles, and values within the school community, perceiving the parties their interests as excluded, although they may not be [ 13 ], being that the most frequent school conflicts occur in the relations between student–student and between student-teacher [ 14 ].

Conflicts in the school can be classified according to their causes and those involved. For Martinez [ 15 ], the conflicts between teachers are mainly caused by lack of communication, personal interests, previous conflicts, issues of power, or political and ideological differences. This author indicates that conflicts between students and teachers, as they happen due to the lack of understanding of the teacher’s explanation, due to arbitrary grades and divergence in the evaluation criteria, lack of didactic material, discrimination, disinterest in the study material, and because the students are ears. In turn, conflicts between students can arise due to misunderstandings, fights, the rivalry between groups, discrimination, bullying, use of spaces and assets, dating, sexual harassment, loss or damage of school assets, diverse elections, travel, and parties. Conflicts between parents, teachers, and administrators can arise due to aggressions that occurred between students and between teachers, due to the loss of work material, problems in the school canteen or similar, lack of teachers, lack of pedagogical assistance by teachers, evaluation, approval and disapproval criteria, failure to meet bureaucratic and administrative requirements of management [ 15 ].

From the literature review, it is possible to infer and highlight the different causes pointed to the school conflict. Participating teachers in the Göksoy and Argon [ 16 ] study indicate as causes for school conflict: the communication failures, personal, political/ideological, and organizational causes.

With a very similar rating, Jares [ 1 ] indicates four main causes: ideological-scientific, related to different pedagogical, ideological, and organizational options, and the type of school culture or cultures that coexist; power causes, related to organization control, professional promotion, access to resources and decision making; causes of structure, related to the ambiguity of objectives and functions, organizational fragility, organizational and variable contexts; and personal and interpersonal causes, related to self-esteem, security, professional dissatisfaction, and communication. Also, Burguet [ 17 ] points out as possible causes for the school conflict in the school’s organizational structure.

In this sequence, and given the increase in school conflicts, Ibarra [ 18 ] recognizes as school conflict causes: the increase in compulsory schooling, the increase in the number of students per class, teachers perceive a progressive decline in their authority about students, and students are less likely to comply with certain rules and limits, which results in conflict situations. Regarding the increase in compulsory education, this leads to a greater number of unmotivated and undisciplined students, which implies an increase in school conflict. Likewise, the increase in the number of students per class, without increasing the facilities or associated conditions, increases the conflict occurrence, because of their negative changes in the physical and psychological environment, in overcrowded classrooms, with a lack of space for practical and collaborative activities.

In addressing interpersonal relationships in schools cannot neglect family background. When dealing with interpersonal relationships in the school context, it is necessary to take into account the family reality of each student, since the family interpersonal relationships have a strong connection with the school conflict [ 19 ]. Distinguished authors indicate that school conflict situations often have their genesis at the family level [ 17 , 20 ] since they are the most deprived families, where alcoholism, domestic violence, and unemployment problems occur, being that all these violence and incivilities manifestations that arise in the students’ lives are transported to school. Burguet [ 17 ] points the dismissal of families as educational agents. This author highlights the overprotection with a sense of guilt for not dedicating more time to children, the experience of fatherhood as a “burden” of those who educate in aggressiveness, and the criticisms of parents, and society itself, to teachers, instigates conflicts. In other words, the role of the family often does not seem to offer a good foundation in the education of young people, which is reflected in their behavior in the processes of interaction at school. As Berkowitz [ 20 ] indicates, many of the interaction problems originate in the family, and the student reproduces the behaviors he learns with his parents.

It should be noted that the context experienced by the Covid-19 pandemic has a greater impact on students from poorer families. The situation of these most vulnerable students was a problem whose dimension grew with online classes, as they encountered immense barriers and lack of support for quality education during confinement. Thus, students who before the pandemic were unmotivated and presented conflicting behaviors at school should be the target of more support during this pandemic phase, to minimize the conflicting behaviors. It should also be noted that although family-school relationships are extremely important for students’ learning and development, family participation in school is not always satisfactory.

So, the family and the school must go together to contribute to the conflict becoming part of a process of growth, acceptance of the other, and accountability. Learning to deal with school conflicts positively is essential for the development of healthy relationships.

Another cause of school conflicts is pointed to society and the values it conveys, Burguet [ 17 ] points to the example of social communication, which encourages violence through violent programs, broadcasting news with prejudiced and conflicting messages. All of these situations enhance the conflicting attitudes of children and young people, which are reflected in school behaviors.

3.1 Conflict in the classroom

The school builds a social interface favorable to involvement, where conflicts proliferate in the educational process complexity, being common and daily in classes. Thus, in the classroom different types of conflict occur, being a challenge for most teachers to know how to face, manage, and resolve these conflicts [ 7 ].

Teachers often perceive conflicts as indiscipline, violence, disrespect, and like all situations threatening his authority, and inexperienced and experienced teachers emphasize the teacher-student conflict as a frequent situation in difficult classes [ 21 ]. In this context, Silva and Flores [ 19 ] refer to the negative effect that these situations have on attainment and student motivation, so it is urgent to find solutions to avoid or mitigate such effects.

The classroom coexistence problems are mainly related to social and pedagogical changes [ 22 ]. In this sequence, there are several conflict situations that teachers can face during classes. Some of those indicated by the teachers are, namely: the student’s presence that did not focus on activities; students with serious learning and communication difficulties; students groups who do classroom not work and maintain an aggressive and provocative attitude; students with destructive attitudes towards school material, theirs and/or colleagues, as well as aggressive and violent attitudes towards colleagues and teachers; apathetic students, who do not show classes enthusiasm; and in extreme situations, students who take and display instruments in the class that can be used as weapons, in an attitude of defiance to the teacher [ 23 ].

Given the increase in the classroom conflicts, multiple causes, which include a combination of external and internal factors in the school environment, are indicated, such as the increase in compulsory education, the increase in students per class, the progressive decline in the teacher’s authority about students, and students are less likely to comply with rules and limits, which results in conflict [ 18 ]. The increase in the year of schooling also leads to greater difficulties in living and learning in the classroom, and older age student’s groups consider themselves inserted in an educational system that sometimes does not respond to their needs and some of them consider not be essential to your life. So, the increase in compulsory education leads to a greater number of dissatisfied, unmotivated, and undisciplined students. Likewise, the increase in students per class, without increasing the facilities or associated conditions, negatively affects the psychological environment in overcrowded classrooms, with a lack of space for practical and collaborative activities. In turn, the progressive decline in teacher authority in relation to students and students are less likely to comply with certain rules and limits, results in conflicts in the classroom.

Conflicts in the teacher-student relationship are recurrent in the classroom, and [ 17 ] indicates as causes generating conflict, not only concerning the expectations of the teacher-student but also the student towards the teacher. In this sequence, the authors highlight the following problems that cause conflict: discipline problems, adaptation to individual differences problems, and evaluation problems.

As for discipline problems, these are the result of provocation and contempt of the student towards the teacher, or the teacher towards the student, to exercise their authority. In turn, problems of adaptation to individual differences are related to heterogeneous behaviors and diminished personal relationships. As for the problems related to the evaluation, result mainly from the personal rhythms of each student and teacher.

Students’ undisciplined classroom behavior can lead to conflicts that divert the teacher’s attention to issues that blur him from his teaching function [ 19 ]. In this context, Pérez-de-Guzmán et al. [ 7 ] indicate disinterest, mainly academic, as the main source of classroom conflict, also mentioning that one of the conflicts that persist and continues to be common is the lack of study habits and the carrying out work, leading to a negative attitude during class. Also, the mandatory stay in the classroom, away from the interests and expectations of some students, is recurrent as a conflict cause.

There are many and diverse classroom conflict situations that disturb the class dynamics. And in situations where the conflict remains latent, the result of the diversity of class interests, if the teacher does not create a good environment, acting positively about communication, the use of legitimate authority, and the conflict management, he will see conflicts increase exponentially within the classes [ 24 ]. Thus, regardless of the classroom conflicts type, if they are not managed, they accumulate, which makes them more cohesive and complicated, triggering negative feelings in those involved, and negatively affecting the educational quality [ 24 ].

The causes of the aforementioned conflicts are linked to personal issues and interpersonal relationships. And, most of these conflicts reveal an undisciplined character and increase daily in the class context. In this way, the teacher in the absence of solid guidelines can develop discontent, insecurity, and dissatisfaction that are reflected in his conflict face performance. Another aspect to be highlighted is that related to the power or lack of it that, increasingly, the teacher presents, and that reveals itself in discontent. In short, there is a gap in society, between the values ​​it promotes and demands the school and the lack of credibility that is given to the teacher, questioned before the disapproval of parents and society itself, which instigates an even greater student’s conflict, in classes.

3.2 Positive and negative impacts of school conflicts

Conflict can inspire innovations and creative strategies in addressing challenging issues, as well as improving work, results, and encouraging organizations to achieve higher levels of quality and achievement. In this context, Göksoy and Argon [ 16 ] argue that school conflicts have positive and negative impacts on psychological, social, and organizational results.

Negative psychological impacts include discomfort, insecurity, insignificance feelings, sadness, resentment, frustration, and stress. In turn, at the social level, results of hostility, intolerance, and violence are present [ 16 ]. As for the negative results within the institutions, the author highlights the existence of a tense environment, weakened cooperation, communication failures, poor performance, and an undisciplined environment. Inevitably, in this way, there is a decrease in education quality.

The conflicts traditional and negative view has implications for the training of students, as the current discourse in many schools is about how to avoid conflicts since their educational potential is sometimes not perceived by the school community. This discourse conceives the conflict by the violent consequences that result from its non-management.

Conflict is recognized as an engine of social development and its effects are positive when the conflict is managed well. Thus, about the positive impacts arising from the school conflict, these have various levels of benefits [ 16 ]. At a personal level, the conflict allows learning to be related to the perception of errors, and to develop new ideas. On the other hand, at the social level, it enables the reinforcement of communication, respect for others, and enhances commitment. Regarding the benefits at the organizational level, it makes it possible to understand problems, seek and develop new solutions, and develop a democratic and enriching environment in the school. Thus, conflicts can contribute to the construction of broader visions of certain situations and, at the same time, guarantee rights and opportunities for all, regardless of interpersonal differences.

4. Strategies for classroom conflict management

Teachers’ perceptions of conflict indicate that they focus mainly on the conflicts’ negative aspects [ 6 , 25 ]. It is noteworthy that the methods most used at school, face of students conflicting behaviors, include warning, disapproval, summoning guardians, and in some cases, student suspension. Methodologies that provoke negative feelings and, later, originate new undesirable behaviors, being applied without taking into account the needs, personal conflicts, problems, and students expectations [ 26 ]. As indicated by Torrecilla et al. [ 22 ] if the teacher is not an effective conflict manager, he will project this lack of skill, resulting in negative learning for students.

As noted earlier, classroom conflict is an unavoidable reality. Thus, being inevitable, adequate strategies are needed to resolve it so that the conflict potential advantages are taken advantage of and its harmful effects are minimized or canceled out. Conflict management strategies are understood as the behavior types that are adopted in the conflict context, that is, they are basic strategies to manage a situation in which the parties consider their interests to be incompatible.

It is important to note that the choice between different conflict management strategies depends on the conflict level and the various situations that must be managed effectively [ 27 ], that is, to manage conflict functionally, it is important to recognize that one strategy may be more appropriate than another, depending on the conflict situation, being considered appropriate if its use leads to the effective formulation or resolution of the conflict [ 27 ]. So, strategies refer to specific patterns of behavior that are adopted in conflict situations. Following this approach, Rahim and Bonoma [ 28 ] established five conflict management strategies using two dimensions “self-concern” and “others concern”. They are different strategies for conflict management and correspond to the attitudes to confront and conflict resolutions.

These five strategies for conflict management are [ 27 ]: (a) Avoiding: when conflicted parties show low levels of concern for others’ interests and a low level of concern for oneself. Strategy characterized by a low degree of assertiveness and a low degree of cooperation, where neither its interests nor those of its opponents are satisfied; (b) Dominating: reflecting the attempt to satisfy one’s interests without consideration of the interests of the other. Characterized by a high assertiveness and lack of cooperation, in which the acquisition of objectives is viewed with supremacy over the interests of the other party. Furthermore, it is often considered an aggressive strategy; (c) Obliging: tends to be adopted by those individuals who attempt to play down the differences and emphasizes commonalities to satisfy the concerns of the other party. Represents a conflict management strategy where the cooperation is high, and assertiveness is low; (d) Integrating: individuals who use this strategy manage conflicts directly and cooperatively, seeking to solve in collaboration with the other, is a strategy connected with problem-solving. The use of this involves openness, exchanging information, looking for alternatives, and examination of differences to reach an effective solution for everyone involved in the conflict. Is a strategy useful for effectively dealing with complex problems; and (e) Compromising: represents the attempt to satisfy, moderately and partially, the interests of all those involved in the conflict, and shares commonalities with all of the other four strategies. Is a strategy that requires compromise and assignment. Compromising is an intermediate strategy on assertiveness and cooperation, which implies a compromise in the search for an acceptable intermediate position for everyone involved in the conflict.

Among the variables that influence the choice of different conflict management strategies, the teachers’ emotional intelligence stands out. Valente and Lourenço [ 24 ] conclude that teachers who tend to have higher levels of emotional intelligence use more integration and commitment strategies, for conflict management in the classroom, and fewer strategies of consent, avoidance, and domination. Too, the findings of Aliasgari and Farzadnia [ 29 ] indicate that teachers prefer the integrating strategy over the other conflict management strategy. So, in the presence of classroom conflict, the teacher proposes alternatives, applies open lines of communication, makes concessions, accepts responsibility, maximizes similarities, and minimizes existing differences between self and student [ 24 ]. Therefore, the integrating strategy is connected with classroom problem-solving, the use of this strategy involves openness and exchanging information, being the ideal strategy in dealing with complex classroom problems [ 24 ]. When applying a commitment strategy, the teacher’s objective is an intermediate solution for conflict management, for this, he knows how to reduce differences with the student suggests an exchange of proposals with the student, and provides a quick solution to conflicts in the classroom [ 24 ]. This is an intermediate strategy on assertiveness and cooperation, which implies a compromise in the search for an acceptable intermediate position for everyone involved in the conflict [ 27 ]. In this way, teachers’ emotional intelligence allows for better conflict management, which supports the development of interpersonal relationships in the classroom and enables a favorable environment for teaching and learning.

So, conflicts involve, in addition to interpersonal skills such as availability for dialog, emotional intelligence skills, which require the perception and recognition of the affective dimension, and the feelings of those involved. In this sense, we can say that the evolution of interpersonal relationships has not kept pace with scientific and technological developments. We were not educated to know how to interpret the language of emotions, just as we did not learn to solve conflict situations. We do not learn to perceive and manage emotions. Thus, the emotions that emerge from conflicts must be the target of attention and discussion, so that teachers and students are aware of their emotions and know how to deal with them.

The concern with improving coexistence in schools, namely about conflict, is mentioned in several studies, whose objectives refer to the understanding of school conflicts, as well as preventing their occurrence through programs aimed at teachers and students [ 4 , 5 ]. Thus, the school community must develop effective skills for conflict management, increasing self-awareness, and understanding of conflict through formal education sessions.

The manage conflict ability is not innate, so it must be learned through educational interventions. There are different programs that work these skills in the educational context, of which they stand: Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, Regulating (RULER), Social and Emotional Learning (SEL), and the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL).

RULER program was created based on the emotional intelligence Mayer-Salovey’s model [ 30 ]. This training program focuses on emotional intelligence development and involving the students, parents, teachers, and the entire educational community [ 31 ]. RULER focuses on learning skills that deal with issues of interpersonal conflict and teach strategies for emotional regulation. Empirical evidence regarding the effectiveness of RULER programs indicates that they enhance students’ academic performance, improve the quality of learning environments, improve teacher-student relationships and reduce student behavior problems, being a success in reducing violence and abusive classroom behavior [ 32 ].

The SEL was developed with the aim of preventing school violence and includes five areas of interconnected skills (self-knowledge, social awareness, self-management and organization, responsible problem solving, and relationship management). Teaching these skills is vital to deal with behavioral, academic, disciplinary, and safety problems, promoting self-awareness, managing emotions, and acquiring skills such as empathy, the ability to perceive different perspectives and points of view, respect for diversity, and the ability to make the right decisions [ 33 ]. SEL programs refer to processes of developing socio-emotional competencies, which depend on the individual’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions. These skills are the main building blocks for other outcomes that SEL programs include, such as the ability to persist in the face of challenges, stress management, the ability to develop healthy relationships, build trust in others, and to thrive both in the academic context, as in personal and social life. In a study carried out on more than 213 SEL programs, it was concluded that a school that successfully applies a quality curriculum of the SEL program can achieve behavioral improvements and a positive increase in the results of assessments [ 34 ].

CASEL program was created with the aim of establishing social and emotional education in a school context and making it a reality in today’s education. Its purpose is to apply high-quality, evidence-based SEL programs, from pre-school to secondary education [ 35 ]. The results of this program reveal significant changes in the socio-emotional capacities, social interactions, and academic results of the students who attended these programs. Among the results, it should be noted that students show greater communication skills, are more collaborative in teamwork, and more resistant to challenges and difficulties [ 36 ].

4.1 School conflicts management

The school is a space for socialization par excellence and, precisely, due to the variety of styles, cultures, and values, it becomes an environment rich in conflicts. Conflict, commonly seen as something negative, destructive, and generating violence, is, in fact, extremely necessary for individual evolution. It should be noted that the conflict itself does not generate violence; this comes when there is a lack of peaceful solutions to conflict resolution, when there is no conflict constructive management.

Among the conflict management methodologies used in the school, the following stand out: arbitration, conciliation, negotiation, and mediation. School arbitration is a dialog process that takes place between the involved in the conflict with the presence of a third party that determines the conflict resolution based on the benefits of the parties with their authority and knowledge [ 37 ]. The school conciliation is a dialog process carried out between the involved in the conflict, with the support of a conciliator, who helps them decide, based on their interests and needs. This may present proposals for solutions that the parties can accept or not. The decision-making power belongs to the parties, even if the solution comes from the conciliator [ 37 ]. In turn, the school negotiation is a dialog process focused on conflict resolution between the involved in the conflict, which either meet face to face to work together unassisted to conflict resolution. Negotiation is one of the most used conflict management mechanisms in the classroom. The school mediation, this is a dialog process carried out between the parties in conflict, assisted by a third party, the mediator, who should not influence the conflict resolution, acting as a communication facilitator. Inserted in a socio-constructivist paradigm, it is considered not only as of the most current and flexible instrument for peaceful conflict resolution at the educational level, and promote a new culture for conflict management. Arising not only to solve school problems, but equally as a feasible way for creative conflict modification [ 38 ].

A more detailed approach to school negotiation is presented as it is considered the most appropriate method for resolving classroom conflicts, in teacher-student relationships. Negotiation includes a set of behavioral skills that teachers must master. It is essentially a well-structured process and based on some tacit behavior, being understood as a process of communicative interaction in which two parties seek to resolve a conflict of interest, use dialog, and progress gradually through mutual concessions. The negotiation process implies several skills, which stand out, effective communication, considered the main tool of the negotiation process.

Effective communication is essential to the school conflicts negotiation, as it enhances: the fear decrease of being rejected, the anxiety reduction produced in the struggle for acceptance and recognition, a greater predisposition to listen to the other and recognize their positive aspects, a strengthening of self-esteem, an increase in the degree of security, and a decrease in defensive-offensive behavior [ 39 ].

Concerning the negotiation phases, although there is no consensus on the definition of the negotiation stages, there are at least three that are classically identified [ 40 ]: definition of the content and limits of the negotiation (exploratory stage), with the manifestation of antagonism, facing individuals the “dilemma of trust” and the “dilemma of honesty”; negotiation dynamics (dynamic and tactical stage), with manifestations of concession flexibility, systematically assisting proposals and counter-proposals, constituting the central moment of the negotiation process; and, the resolution and agreements stage, this more integrative, brief, and intense phase, almost always implies tension and uncertainty.

These phases testify to the transformation that the negotiations must undergo and must respond to the three negotiation objectives, namely: identification of differences between the parties, making joint decisions, and building a commitment to resolve the conflict.

Empathy: the pillar of good communication and the connection between teacher and student, which allows one to understand each other’s feelings and motivations;

Assertiveness: being able to expose your point of view, emotions, or opinions without provoking a defensive attitude, through a self-affirmative phrase that tells students what to think without blaming you, not putting you as an opponent. Being assertive requires understanding limitations to do another. The teacher when negotiating a conflict must establish his position and build self-confidence thus limiting abuse situations without attacking students;

Active listening: a tool is useful to obtain more information, corroborating data so that the student knows that he was heard. When we listen actively, we are asking, paraphrasing, asking for clarification, defining, and contextualizing. Some ways of they appear can be by echo, repetition of what the other said, reformulation, expressing in words what was understood, resolving points or questions, summarizing and ordering information or reflection of the feeling, an expression of what we perceive of the other; and

Feedback: the teacher must support and encourage positive behavior, correcting the inappropriate ones. To put feedback into practice, it is necessary to let the student know what the teacher feels and what he thinks.

That way, thinking of the joint construction of solutions to the conflict, through the correct use of empathy, assertiveness, active listening, and feedback can make those involved in the conflict evaluate their actions and rethink their attitudes, discovering ways to solve the problems, trying to maintain respect and balance. Knowing how to listen, evaluate, rethink with everyone involved in the conflict, creating the habit of dialog. Because when those involved in the conflict participate in the construction of possible actions for solutions, relationships can be restored, and the conflict constructively resolved. Therefore, classroom conflicts when managed constructively contribute to the preservation of interpersonal bonds and promote the socio-emotional skills of involved, since it makes possible to develop skills to know how to see reality from the perspective of the other, knowing how to cooperate, and also learn that conflict is an opportunity for growth and maturation.

As seen, although conflicts have negative impacts in general, the constructive and destructive consequences of conflict depend on the management skills of the individuals who experience it [ 25 ]. Effective conflict management strategies minimize the conflict negative impacts and enhance the positive ones, helping to improve interpersonal relationships and job satisfaction at school.

In general, teachers and the school ignore the importance of conflicts in the integral development of the student and training as autonomous citizens. In this way, most schools do not conceive of conflict resolution as an integral part of the curriculum, emphasizing only the contents of the curricular subjects. They leave aside interpersonal relationships, homogenizing the training of students without promoting the development of problem and conflict management skills. Thus, for the educational potential of the conflict to be truly used in the school context, it is necessary that the community, and especially teachers and management bodies, recognize the conflict possibilities. Constructive management of school conflicts is important and necessary for new generations to learn to live with social differences.

In this sequence, educational action is required, intentionally aimed at conflict management as an element inherent to the human condition and indispensable to democratic societies. Therefore, the formative potential of the conflict depends on the strategies used to resolve the conflict and the management that takes place. The way to conflict management, in turn, depends on how those involved experience the conflict. Therefore, the negative view of the conflict and the lack of perception of its educational potential can prevent those involved from developing essential skills such as respect for diversity, respect for the rights of others, and availability for dialog.

Pérez-de-Guzmán et al. [ 7 ] indicate that training in conflict management, generates very positive results in all members of the educational community, verifying a reduction in the interpersonal conflict between teacher-student. Also, Massabni [ 41 ] defends the urgency to prepare teachers to face professional conflicts; otherwise, we will have a generation of teachers able to succumb to the pressure that the profession is going through, to accept the reduction of their action, their status, and to share their commitments with other professionals, who take away the property of regulating their work. It is necessary to support teachers and provide them with tools to develop their ways of managing conflicts.

By making conflicts the subject of reflection and explaining the professional context in which teachers work is, in the opinion of [ 41 ], the commitment of the different higher education institutions that form them. It is important to work not only on the training of future teachers but also on training in the active teachers in conflict management, small or large, which inevitably emerge in the teacher-student relationship, throughout their professional life. Also, the Freire et al. [ 42 ] results support the importance of professional development opportunities with a focus on facilitating the relationship of teachers with students with perceived challenging behavior.

5. Conclusions

The school is an institution that reproduces a microcosm of society, bringing together diverse identities. This context with diverse personalities, rules, and values is full of conflicts, problems, and differences between the different actors that make up the school (students, teachers, staff, and parents). Thus, the school system, in addition to involving a range of people, with different characteristics, includes a significant number of continuous and complex interactions, depending on the stages of development of each one. So, school is a place where individuals with different characteristics, backgrounds, experiences, and personalities live together daily. Among so many differences, naturally, divergences of the most diverse species arise. It is essential, then, the proper management of conflicts that may arise so that harmony and respect are present in the school of the main causes presented for the school conflict, we highlight family problems. Being the family the main student emotional support, it becomes the life model of this. In this way, unstable and weakened family relationships directly affect the behavior of your children, behaviors that these after reproduced in the school social relationships. The families of the most deprived students are considered less functional. They do not contribute to the growth of positive feelings, they do not carry out good communication between family members, nor do they assist in healthily making decisions that are, based on the exchange of ideas together instead of imposition. In this sequence, students from more dysfunctional families need school increased support to learn and develop interpersonal skills. Thus, family and school must go together to contribute to the conflict becoming part of a process of growth, acceptance of the other, and accountability. Learning to deal with conflicts positively is essential for the development of healthy relationships.

The school, by bringing together people from different social groups with different values and worldviews, becomes a locus for conflicts. Thus, the conflict must be understood as a reality inherent to the educational context, and the school, as responsible for the education of values and skills for living together must be differently prepared to deal with the conflicts that occur in it.

Conflicts of various types have always been present in the classroom, and the causes that originate them are of great importance, as they allow a better conflict understanding and, consequently, a more correct intervention to its management. It should be noted that personal harmony and the development of attitudes that promote understanding, dialog, and tolerance are indispensable for negotiating conflicts in the teacher-student relationship. The way to intervene in classroom conflicts is essential in education, not only in terms of content, but also as a series of vital procedures in interpersonal relationships. As Lapponi [ 39 ] points out, for conflicts correct negotiation with the student, it is necessary to communicate effectively, cooperate, decide responsibly, and so teach to resolve conflicts.

Ending school conflict is impossible, since they are intrinsic to the human being, being an integral part of their development and the interpersonal relationships they experience daily. Learning to live with school conflict requires creating attitudes of openness, interest in differences, and respect for diversity, teaching how to recognize injustice, taking measures to overcome it, resolving differences constructively, and moving from conflict situations to reconciliations. So, it is essential that the initial and continuous training of teachers encompasses conflict management, providing them with tools so that they can resolve the conflicts they experience in the classroom.

In summary, it is important to conflict face and resolve it with skills to manage it properly and constructively, establishing cooperative relationships, and producing integrative solutions. Harmony and appreciation should coexist in a classroom environment and conflict should not interfere, negatively, in the teaching and learning process.

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© 2020 The Author(s). Licensee IntechOpen. This chapter is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License , which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited.

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Top 5 Skills Needed to Successfully Resolve Conflicts in the Workplace

Everyone experiences some kind of conflict in the workplace at some point. Something which Covid has added a realm of complexity to, to not only detect, but also resolve. Conflict can arise in many situations, but disagreements with coworkers commonly cause interpersonal strife. In fact, in an 18-month research study , nearly 100 percent of respondents cited interactions with coworkers as the primary cause of conflict at work. Conflict in the workplace also impacts employee productivity. According to one  study , a single employee spends nearly three hours every workweek trying to resolve some kind of conflict. Even worse, unresolved conflicts can impact employee engagement and have negative implications for company culture.

When the possibility for conflict exists just about everywhere in the workplace—and the cost of leaving it unresolved is high—employees need to know how to resolve conflict and be equipped with the skills to do so. Here are 5 skills that can help them do that.

5 Conflict Resolution Skills:

1. communication.

Employees need to know how to talk to each other in order to understand the source of conflict, as well as alternate points of view—but communicating well involves more than talking and getting your point across to others. Strong communication also includes listening. When employees know how to use  active listening techniques , like asking questions, restating, and using analogies to rephrase statements, the chances of resolving the conflict become greater. Remote working has placed a greater need for strong interpersonal communication skills. Other communication behaviors that support effective conflict resolution include:

• Reading nonverbal cues
• Knowing when to interrupt and when to stay quiet
• Being clear and concise when explaining a concept or opinion

2. Teamwork

Individual personalities and disagreements can often give rise to conflict within a team. However, when individuals understand the behaviors that lead to successful team functioning, they can avoid and reduce the occurrence of conflict in the workplace. Some of the behaviors that demonstrate  strong teamwork skills  and help resolve workplace conflict include:

• Focusing on shared goals instead of disagreements
• Ensuring each member of the team has a clearly defined role, which can help reduce disagreements over areas of responsibility
• Periodically suppressing personal ego and desires, and instead considering the needs of other members of the team

3. Problem-Solving

Problem-solving skills aid conflict resolution by helping individuals objectively approach a challenge and consider the many possible solutions to it. When individuals know how to tackle a problem rather than avoid or deny it, they can prevent or even reduce the chance of a conflict emerging.

There are some specific problem-solving actions that individuals can take to resolve conflict in the workplace successfully. Once a conflict has been identified, it’s helpful to attempt to fully understand the source or cause of the conflict before attempting to resolve it. Effective problem-solving also includes evaluating various solutions and taking care to consider multiple interests and points of view. And as anyone who has ever experienced conflict can attest, sometimes the chosen solution is unsuccessful. Individuals can use problem-solving skills by demonstrating a willingness to revisit unresolved issues and try another solution.

4. Stress Management

Sometimes, stress can kindle the fires of workplace conflict, and at other times, the conflict itself creates a stressful situation for employees. Whichever comes first, employees need the necessary tools to manage their emotions, as well as the ability to cope with the frustrations of workplace conflict.

When employees have learned the strategies for preventing and reducing stress, they’re more able to calmly express themselves and work with others to resolve disagreements or discord. Some of the stress management behaviors that help with conflict management include:

• Where appropriate, injecting a dose of humor to dilute the anger and frustration that often accompany conflict
• Taking well-timed breaks that can bring calm in the midst of flared tempers
• Talking to others as a means of releasing bottled-up emotions

5. Emotional Agility

Conflict in the workplace can trigger strong emotions, especially when the conflict causes an employee to feel their position or employment is threatened. Therefore, emotional agility is a key  conflict resolution skill  as it allows one to understand the emotions of all individuals engaged in a conflict, including their own. Being emotionally aware also includes the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes and practice empathy and compassion.

Leadership development  can help cultivate emotional agility and provide useful strategies for resolving conflict successfully. For example, it can teach individuals to master influencing techniques and learn how to leverage relationships for successful outcomes.

Improving Conflict Resolution Skills Can Make a Real Difference

Most people need help improving their ability to approach conflicts with confidence and calm, rather than avoiding them or just trying to smooth things over. Many useful behaviors support effective conflict resolution, including taking steps to understand and listen to multiple viewpoints and keeping emotions in check. Thankfully, a combination of leadership development and  conflict resolution skills training  can help individuals learn how to resolve conflict, specifically in the areas of communication, teamwork, problem-solving, and more.

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